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TonyPorter_2010W-_致男人的宣言_
I grew up in New York City, between Harlem and the Bronx . 我在纽约市长大, 介于哈莱姆区和布朗克斯区之间。
Harlem:n.黑人住宅区(纽约的); Bronx:n.布朗克斯(纽约市最北端的一区);布朗克斯鸡尾酒;
Growing up as a boy, we were taught that men had to be tough, had to be strong, had to be courageous , dominating -- no pain, no emotions , with the exception of anger -- and definitely no fear; that men are in charge, which means women are not; that men lead, and you should just follow and do what we say; that men are superior; women are inferior; that men are strong; women are weak; that women are of less value, property of men, and objects, particularly sexual objects. 从小男孩起,我们学到 男人应该意志坚强,身体强壮, 有勇气,有支配权-- 没有痛苦,没有感情, 除了愤怒之外-- 男人什么都不怕-- 男人全权负责,主管一切, 而女人不是; 男人是领导, 女人应该只是跟随和做男性吩咐的事; 男人带有优越性,女人是低人一等; 男人是强大的,女人弱小; 女人价值比较小-- 仅是男人的财富 和物品, 特别是性猎物。
courageous:adj.有胆量的,勇敢的; dominating:adj.个性强势的; v.支配; (dominate的现在分词) emotions:n.强烈的感情;激情;情感;(emotion的复数) with the exception of:除了…以外; definitely:adv.清楚地,当然;明确地,肯定地; particularly:adv.特别地,独特地;详细地,具体地;明确地,细致地; sexual:adj.性的;性别的;有性的;
I've later come to know that to be the collective socialization of men, better known as the "man box." 我后来了解到 这如上都是男人的集体社会化属性, 更好地称为 “男人束缚体”。
collective:adj.集体的;共同的;集合的;集体主义的;n.集团;集合体;集合名词; socialization:n.社会化,社会主义化;
See this man box has in it all the ingredients of how we define what it means to be a man. 看看这“男人束缚体” 所有的成分 这就是我们怎样定义一个男人的。
ingredients:n.成分;(尤指烹饪)原料;(成功的)要素;(ingredient的复数) define:v.定义;使明确;规定;
Now I also want to say, without a doubt, there are some wonderful, wonderful, absolutely wonderful things about being a man. 此时我想说,毫无疑问, 男人身上也有很多美好的,不可思议的, 绝对棒的 品质。
absolutely:adv.绝对地;完全地;
But at the same time , there's some stuff that's just straight up twisted , and we really need to begin to challenge, look at it and really get in the process of deconstructing , redefining , what we come to know as manhood . 但同时, 有些东西 完全是扭曲了 我们真的需要开始 挑战,看看这些男性的特征 我们要进行 解构,重新定义, 我们重新认识什么才是男人气概。
at the same time:同时;另一方面;与此同时; stuff:n.东西:物品:基本特征:v.填满:装满:标本: twisted:adj.扭曲的; v.使弯曲,使扭曲; (twist的过去分词和过去式) in the process of:在…的过程中; deconstructing:v.解构(deconstruct的现在分词); redefining:v.改变…的本质(或界限);重新定义;使重新考虑;(redefine的现在分词) manhood:n.成年;男子;男子气概;
This is my two at home, Kendall and Jay. 这是我家的两个孩子,肯德尔和杰伊。
They're 11 and 12. 他们现在是11岁和12岁。
Kendall's 15 months older than Jay. 肯德尔比杰伊大15个月。
There was a period of time when my wife -- her name is Tammie -- and I, we just got real busy and whip , bam, boom : 有那么一段时期,我妻子塔蜜和我, 我们实在是忙得不可开交,用来照顾
whip:n.鞭子; v.鞭打; boom:n.繁荣;吊杆;v.激增;繁荣昌盛;轰鸣;轰响;adj.(美)猛涨起来的;
Kendall and Jay. 肯德尔和杰伊。
(Laughter) （笑声）
And when they were about five and six, four and five, 当他们大约五岁和六岁, 或者四岁和五岁时,
Jay could come to me, come to me crying. 杰伊可以来向我 哭哭啼啼。
It didn't matter what she was crying about, she could get on my knee, she could snot my sleeve up, just cry, cry it out. 当她哭泣,这没什么问题, 她可以坐在我膝上,她的鼻涕流到我的袖子上, 尽管哭,哭出来。
snot:n.鼻涕;惹人嫌的人;蛮横无理的话; sleeve:n.袖子;套管;有…袖子的;唱片套;v.给…装袖子;
Daddy's got you. That's all that's important. 有爸爸在你身边爱护你是很重要的。
Now Kendall on the other hand -- and like I said, he's only 15 months older than her -- he'd come to me crying, it's like as soon as I would hear him cry, a clock would go off. 但换成是肯德尔-- 我说过,他比杰伊仅大15个月-- 他向我哭泣, 只要我听到他哭, 我的心理闹钟就上了发条
on the other hand:另一方面; as soon as:一…就;
I would give the boy probably about 30 seconds, which means, by the time he got to me, 我会给肯德尔约30秒时间, 意味着,此时他得面对我,
I was already saying things like, "Why are you crying? 我会说这样的话,“你为什么哭？
Hold your head up. Look at me. 抬起你的头,看着我。
Explain to me what's wrong. 说说你做错什么了。
Tell me what's wrong. I can't understand you. 告诉我你做错什么了。我实在不懂你。
Why are you crying?" 你哭什么？”
And out of my own frustration of my role and responsibility of building him up as a man to fit into these guidelines and these structures that are defining this man box, 我对没有 尽到自己的责任担当起 把他培养成男人的角色而感动沮丧 我还要适应这些原则 和这些男人束缚体的条条框框,
frustration:n.挫折; guidelines:n.指导方针;参考; structures:n.结构; v.建造(structure的第三人称单数形式);
I would find myself saying things like, "Just go in your room. 我觉得我会说出以下的话, “回到你房间去。
Just go on, go on in your room. 快回到你房间,
Sit down, get yourself together and come back and talk to me when you can talk to me like a --" what? 坐下来, 控制住你自己 然后回来和我谈话, 你要像个什么一样的人？”
(Audience: Man.) （观众:男人。）
Like a man. “像个男人一样才能和我谈”。
And he's five years old. 肯德尔才5岁。
And as I grow in life, 正如我在生活中的成长,
I would say to myself, "My God, what's wrong with me? 我会对自己说, “我的上帝,我怎么了？
What am I doing? Why would I do this?" 我到底做了什么？我怎么这样做？”
And I think back. 我回头想想。
I think back to my father. 我想到我的父亲。
There was a time in my life where we had a very troubled experience in our family. 我一生曾有 一段我们家族最难回首的往事。
My brother, Henry, he died tragically when we were teenagers. 我兄弟,亨利,他不幸去世, 当我们年少时。
tragically:adv.悲剧地;悲惨地;
We lived in New York City, as I said . 我们生活在纽约市,我说过。
as I said:正如我所说的
We lived in the Bronx at the time, and the burial was in a place called Long Island, it was about two hours outside of the city. 那时我们住在布朗克斯区。 葬礼在长岛举行, 它在纽约市外有两个小时路程。
And as we were preparing to come back from the burial, the cars stopped at the bathroom to let folks take care of themselves before the long ride back to the city. 我们正要 从这葬礼返还回去, 汽车在洗手间停下来, 让人们去解手, 然后开始一段长途行程回去。
And the limousine empties out. 大轿车上空无一人。
limousine:n.豪华轿车;大型豪华轿车;
My mother, my sister, my auntie , they all get out, but my father and I stayed in the limousine, and no sooner than the women got out, he burst out crying . 我母亲,我姐妹,我姑姑,他们都下了车, 只有我父亲和我留在大轿车上。 女人们刚下车, 我父亲就突然大哭。
auntie:n.伯母;阿姨;姑妈;姨妈;舅妈(aunt的昵称); burst out crying:突然大哭;
He didn't want cry in front of me, but he knew he wasn't going to make it back to the city, and it was better me than to allow himself to express these feelings and emotions in front of the women. 他不想在我面前哭。 但他实在是忍不住了, 最好还是在我面前 而不是在女性面前去表达这些感情。
express:v.表达; adj.特快的; n.特快列车; v.使用快速服务;
And this is a man who, 10 minutes ago, had just put his teenage son in the ground -- something I just can't even imagine. 我父亲,做为男人, 10分钟前, 刚刚下葬了他的孩子 入土-- 我真不敢想象当时发生的事。
The thing that sticks with me the most is that he was apologizing to me for crying in front of me, and at the same time, he was also giving me props , lifting me up, for not crying. 最让我触动的事 是他向我道歉 在我面前的哭泣。 同时,他也安慰我, 让我振作起来, 不要哭。
props:n.[矿业]支柱;小道具;后盾(prop的复数);v.支撑;维持(prop的三单形式);
I come to also look at this as this fear that we have as men, this fear that just has us paralyzed , holding us hostage to this man box. 我回头看时才意识到 我们做为男人的这种畏惧, 让我们麻木的这种恐惧情绪, 使得我们成为 这个男人束缚体的人质。
paralyzed:adj.瘫痪的;麻痹的;v.使麻痹;使无力;使失去勇气(paralyze的过去分词); hostage:n.人质;抵押品;
I can remember speaking to a 12-year-old boy, a football player, and I asked him, I said, "How would you feel if, in front of all the players, your coach told you you were playing like a girl?" 我记得 与一个玩橄榄球的12岁男孩的交谈, 我问到: “你感觉怎样,假如 在所有队员前, 你教练说你玩起球来像个女孩？”
Now I expected him to say something like, 当时我期望他会说出类似的话,
I'd be sad; I'd be mad; I'd be angry, or something like that. 我会悲伤,我要疯了,我很生气,等等。
No, the boy said to me -- the boy said to me, "It would destroy me." 不,男孩对我 说到: “这会毁了我。”
And I said to myself, "God, if it would destroy him to be called a girl, what are we then teaching him about girls?" 我又对自己说: “上帝啊,如果这句话会毁了一个男孩 当他被嘲笑为像个女孩时, 那么关于女孩的事,我们会教给 他点什么呢？”
(Applause) （掌声）
It took me back to a time when I was about 12 years old. 回首往事, 当我约12岁时,
I grew up in tenement buildings in the inner city . 我在城内的贫民区长大。
tenement:n.房屋;住户,租户;租房子; inner city:n.(居民拥挤,住屋破旧的)市中心平民区;adj.市中心的;
At this time we're living in the Bronx, and in the building next to where I lived there was a guy named Johnny. 那时我们住在布朗克斯区。 在我住的那个街区,有个叫约翰的年轻人。
He was about 16 years old, and we were all about 12 years old -- younger guys. 他约16岁, 我们都是约12岁的男孩。
And he was hanging out with all us younger guys. 他和我们男孩混在一起。
And this guy, he was up to a lot of no good. 这个人品行不端。
He was the kind of kid who parents would have to wonder, "What is this 16-year-old boy doing with these 12-year-old boys?" 他是个让父母都诧异的那种孩子, “为什么16岁青年也和一群12岁孩子鬼混在一起？”
And he did spend a lot of time up to no good . 他做了很多坏事。
up to no good:不怀好意;图谋不轨;惹事生非;
He was a troubled kid. 他也是个制造麻烦的青年。
His mother had died from a heroin overdose . 他母亲死于吸毒过量。
heroin:n.[药][毒物]海洛因,吗啡; overdose:n.(一次用药)过量;v.一次用药过量;
He was being raised by his grandmother. 然后他被奶奶养大。
His father wasn't on the set. 他父亲管不住他。
His grandmother had two jobs. 他奶奶有两个工作。
He was home alone a lot. 他经常独自一人在家。
But I've got to tell you, we young guys, we looked up to this dude , man. 但我要告诉你,在我们年轻人眼里, 我们看得起这个家伙。
dude:n.男人,小伙子;(非正式)花花公子;
He was cool. He was fine. 他很酷也很牛。
That's what the sisters said, "He was fine." 姑娘们都说:“他很牛。”
He was having sex. 他有过性行为。
We all looked up to him. 我们都看得起他。
So one day, I'm out in front of the house doing something -- just playing around, doing something -- I don't know what. 有一天,我在屋前做一些事情-- 只是玩耍,做些游戏 - 我记不清了。
He looks out his window; he calls me upstairs; he said, "Hey Anthony." 他从窗口看到我,他叫我上楼,“嗨,安东尼”。
They called me Anthony growing up as a kid. 我孩童时,他们都叫我安东尼。
'"Hey Anthony, come on upstairs." “嗨,安东尼,上楼来”。
Johnny call, you go. 约翰吩咐的,我就去了。
So I run right upstairs. 我就直接跑到楼上。
As he opens the door, he says to me, "Do you want some?" 当门打开,他对我说:“你想要点什么吗？”
Now I immediately knew what he meant. 我当时立马知道他的意图。
Because for me growing up at that time, and our relationship with this man box, "Do you want some?" meant one of two things: sex or drugs -- and we weren't doing drugs. 因为在那时我的出身背景, 和我们自身的男人束缚体的关系, “你想要点什么吗”就是指两种事, 性或者毒品-- 我们不吸毒。
Now my box, my card, my man box card, was immediately in jeopardy . 当时我自身的, 这种男人束缚体的表现 立即使我处于危险的境地中。
jeopardy:n.危险;(被告处于被判罪或受处罚的)危险境地;
Two things: One, I never had sex. 两件事:一,我从来没有做过爱。
We don't talk about that as men. 做个男性,我们从来不会谈这些事。
You only tell your dearest, closest friend, sworn to secrecy for life, the first time you had sex. 你只会和你最亲爱的,最要好的朋友发誓要保守这秘密, 才谈起你的第一次性体验。
secrecy:n.保密;秘密;隐蔽;
For everybody else, we go around like we've been having sex since we were two. 二,对于其他人来说,只要是两个人在一起,这就好比他们到哪儿都在做爱。
There ain't no first time. 这也不是什么新鲜事。
(Laughter) （笑声）
The other thing I couldn't tell him is that I didn't want any. 我没有告诉他的事是我啥都不想要。
That's even worse. We're supposed to always be on the prowl . 那会更糟糕。我们总是处于徘徊中。
supposed:adj.误信的;所谓的;v.认为;假设;设想;(suppose的过去分词和过去式) prowl:vi.徘徊,潜行;vt.在…搜寻;潜行于;n.徘徊,潜行;悄悄踱步;
Women are objects, especially sexual objects. 女人是对象, 特别是性猎物。
especially:adv.尤其;特别;格外;十分;
Anyway, so I couldn't tell him any of that. 至少,我没有告诉他实情。
So, like my mother would say, make a long story short , 所以,就像我妈常说,长话短说。
make a long story short:长话短说,简而言之;总之;
I just simply said to Johnny, "Yes." 我就告诉约翰“好的”。
He told me to go in his room. 他就叫我去他屋。
I go in his room. On his bed is a girl from the neighborhood named Sheila . 我进了他屋。在床上,有个邻居女孩,谢拉。
neighborhood:n.附近;地区;街坊;adj.附近的; Sheila:n.小妞;少女;年轻女子;
She's 16 years old. 她16岁,
She's nude . 全裸。
nude:adj.裸的,裸体的;无装饰的;与生俱有的;n.裸体;裸体画;
She's what I know today to be mentally ill, higher-functioning at times than others. 我如今才知道她有精神病, 比起其它人,她有时不正常。
mentally:adv.精神上,智力上;心理上;
We had a whole choice of inappropriate names for her. 我们有数也数不清的外号用来嘲笑她。
inappropriate:adj.不适当的;不相称的;
Anyway, Johnny had just gotten through having sex with her. 尽管如此,约翰已经和她做过爱。
Well actually, he raped her, but he would say he had sex with her. 确切地说,他强奸了她,但他会说他与她在做爱。
raped:v.强奸;强暴(rape的过去分词和过去式)
Because, while Sheila never said no, she also never said yes. 因为,谢拉从不会说不, 也不会说是。
So he was offering me the opportunity to do the same. 所以他让我也好有机会做同样的事。
So when I go in the room, I close the door. 当我走进屋,我关上门。
Folks, I'm petrified . 观众们,当时我惊呆了。
petrified:adj.非常害怕; v.使吓呆; (petrify的过去分词和过去式)
I stand with my back to the door so Johnny can't bust in the room and see that I'm not doing anything, and I stand there long enough that I could have actually done something. 我后背靠着门站着以防约翰闯进屋, 看见我到底在做什么。 我站了很久,我本可以和谢拉做爱。
bust:n.(石或金属的)半身像; v.打破; adj.破碎;
So now I'm no longer trying to figure out what I'm going to do; 但当时我的确搞不清楚我要做什么,
I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get out of this room. 我试图想从这间屋出去。
So in my 12 years of wisdom , 12岁的我很机灵,
wisdom:n.智慧;明智;才智;学问;
I zip my pants down, 我把裤裆拉下来,
I walk out into the room, and lo and behold to me, while I was in the room with Sheila, 然后我走出屋。 瞧瞧我, 我刚和谢拉在一起,
behold:v.看;注视;把...视为;int.瞧;看呀;
Johnny was back at the window calling guys up. 约翰在窗口招呼年轻人都上来。
So now there's a living room full of guys. 在客厅围满了人,
living room:n.客厅;起居室;
It was like the waiting room in the doctor's office. 就好像是在医生诊所的候诊室里一样。
waiting room:na.候车室;
And they asked me how was it, and I say to them, "It was good," 他们问我感受如何？ 我说:“棒极了”。
and I zip my pants up in front of them, and I head for the door. 然后我在他们面前把裤拉链拉上, 朝门口走去。
Now I say this all with remorse , and I was feeling a tremendous amount of remorse at that time, but I was conflicted , because, while I was feeling remorse , I was excited, because I didn't get caught. 现在我想说这件事让我追悔莫及, 当时我后悔地要死, 但是我又矛盾,因为尽管我后悔,但我还是很兴奋, 因为我没被露馅,
remorse:n.懊悔;同情; tremendous:adj.极大的,巨大的;惊人的;极好的; conflicted:adj.因心理冲突而不知所措的;v.冲突,抵触;(conflict的过去分词和过去式)
But I knew I felt bad about what was happening. 但我知道发生这种事太糟糕了。
This fear, getting outside the man box, totally enveloped me. 这种想要从男人束缚体中解脱出来的恐惧感 始终困扰着我。
enveloped:n.折叠条;v.包围(envelop的过去分词);
It was way more important to me, about me and my man box card than about Sheila and what was happening to her. 我对我自身 这种男人束缚体的认识 比起发生在谢拉身上 的经历,对我来说它是更重要的。
See collectively , we as men are taught to have less value in women, to view them as property and the objects of men. 具体看来,我们做为男人 被灌输女人价值较小, 视她们为男人的财富和性猎物的象征。
collectively:adv.共同地,全体地;
We see that as an equation that equals violence against women. 我们把它看作一个等式,并且对女人实施暴力,动粗。
equation:n.方程式,等式;相等;[化学]反应式; violence:n.暴力;侵犯;激烈;歪曲;
We as men, good men, the large majority of men, we operate on the foundation of this whole collective socialization. 我们做为男人,好男人, 男人中的多数, 我们在架构 整个集体社会的建立。
majority:n.大部分:大多数:多数票:成年人: foundation:n.基础;地基;基金会;根据;创立;
We kind of see ourselves separate, but we're very much a part of it. 我们自视我们彼此是分开的,但我们也是那其中的一体。
You see, we have to come to understand that less value, property and objectification is the foundation and the violence can't happen without it. 我们要理解 价值较小,象征财富和性猎物的女人也是社会中的一体, 并且停止暴力也离不开这种认同感。
objectification:n.客观化;对象化;
So we're very much a part of the solution as well as the problem. 所以我们是这解决方案的一部分 就像这问题一样。
solution:n.解决方案;溶液;溶解;解答; as well as:也;和…一样;不但…而且;
The center for disease control says that men's violence against women is at epidemic proportions , is the number one health concern for women in this country and abroad . 疾病预防控制中心说, 从流行病的程度看,男人对女人的暴力 是一件关注女人健康的头等事 无论在国内或是国外。
disease:n.病,[医]疾病;弊病;vt.传染;使…有病; epidemic:n.流行病;蔓延;adj.传染病;流行性的; proportions:n.[数]比例;大小(proportion的复数形式); concern:v.涉及,关系到;使担心;n.关系;关心;关心的事; abroad:adv.在国外;到海外;adj.往国外的;n.海外;异国;
So quickly, I'd like to just say, this is the love of my life, my daughter Jay. 简言之,我想说, 我女儿杰伊是我生命中的全部爱。
The world I envision for her -- how do I want men to be acting and behaving ? 我为她而设想的世界, 我想要男人怎样去做和做个好男人呢？
envision:v.想象;预想; behaving:v.表现:表现得体:有礼貌:(behave的现在分词)
I need you on board. I need you with me. 我需要男人们和我在一起,协同一致。
I need you working with me and me working with you on how we raise our sons and teach them to be men -- that it's okay to not be dominating, that it's okay to have feelings and emotions, that it's okay to promote equality, 我需要男人们和我一同努力 抚养我们的儿子 教育他们成为一个男人-- 男人不必像大男子一样主宰一切, 男人要有感情和感性化, 男人要促进男女平等,
promote:v.促进;推动;促销;提升;晋升;
that it's okay to have women who are just friends and that's it, that it's okay to be whole, that my liberation as a man is tied to your liberation as a woman. (Applause) 男人视女人为朋友,就这么简单,而不是性猎物, 男人和女人同为一体, 我做为男人的自由 也赋予了你们做为女人的自由。
liberation:n.释放,解放;
I remember asking a nine-year-old boy, 我记得问过一个九岁男孩。
I asked a nine-year-old boy, "What would life be like for you, if you didn't have to adhere to this man box?" 我问他, “假如你从这个男性束缚中解脱出来, 生命对你意味着什么？”
adhere:vi.坚持;依附;粘着;追随;vt.使粘附;
He said to me, "I would be free." 他说:“我将会自由”。
Thank you folks. 谢谢大家。
(Applause) （掌声）