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TiqMilanandKimMilan_2016W-_爱情让我们成全自己_
Tiq Milan: Our first conversation was on Facebook, and it was three days long. 列?米兰（TM）:我们的第一次对话是在Facebook, 那长达三天之久。
(Laughter) （笑声）
We shared over 3,000 messages between us, and it was during those 72 hours that I knew she was going to be my wife. 我们之间分享了超过3000条讯息, 在那72小时里,我就知道了她将成为我的妻子。
We didn't wait any prerequisite amount of time for our courtship; we told each other the vulnerable truths up front: 我们没有为我们的恋爱等待那些建议的时间; 我们事先就告诉了彼此那脆弱的真相:
prerequisite:n.先决条件;adj.首要必备的; vulnerable:adj.易受攻击的,易受…的攻击;易受伤害的;有弱点的;
I am a transgender man, which means the F on my birth certificate should have stood for "False," 我是一名变性男性, 意思就是我出生证上的字母F,应该代表单词“错误的”,
transgender:n.跨性别;跨性别者; birth certificate:n.出生证明(书);
instead of " Female ." 而非“女性”。
Female:adj.女性的;雌性的;柔弱的,柔和的;n.女人;[动]雌性动物;
(Laughter) （笑声）
Walking around as a woman in the world felt like walking with pebbles in my shoes. 在这个世界上以女性的身份走来走去 感觉就像是鞋里的鹅卵石杠着脚。
pebbles:n.鹅卵石; v.用卵石等)铺(pebble的第三人称单数形式);
It took the rhythm out of my swagger , it threw me off balance , it pained me with every step I took forward. 它使我无法昂首阔步, 它使我失去平衡, 它让我的每一步前行都感到疼痛。
rhythm:n.节奏;韵律; swagger:v.大摇大摆;大摇大摆地走;n.大摇大摆;神气十足;adj.漂亮的 off balance:adj.不平衡的;adv.不平衡地;
But today I'm a man of my own intention; a man of my own design. 但今天,我自愿成为男性; 我设计了自己。
Kim Katrin Milan: I am a cisgender queer woman. 吉姆?凯特林?米兰（KKM）:我是一名顺性别的性别认同疑惑女性。
cisgender:个人的生理性别与其行为或其扮演的角色完全匹配; queer:adj.奇怪的; vt.搞糟; n.同性恋者;
Cisgender means the gender I was assigned at birth is still and has always been female. 顺性别的意思是我出生时是一名女性 现在,一直以来都还是女性。
assigned:v.分配(某物);分派;指定;委派;(assign的过去分词和过去式)
This doesn't make me natural or normal, this is just one way of describing the many different ways that we exist in this world. 但并不因此我就变得自然或正常, 这只是用于描述我们在这个世界上存在的 各种形态中的一种。
describing:v.描述;形容;把…称为;做…运动;(describe的现在分词)
And queer is a cultural term, but in this case, it refers to the way that I'm not restricted by gender when it comes to choosing partners. queer是一个文化术语,（可以表示古怪的,或是俚语同性恋） 但是在这种语境中, 是指我并不严格受到我的性别限制 去选择我的另一半。
cultural:adj.与文化有关的;文化的;与艺术、文学、音乐等有关的; refers:v.谈及;提到;提及;涉及;描述;(refer的第三人称单数) restricted:adj.受限制的;保密的;v.限制(restrict的过去式和过去分词);
I've identified in a few different ways — as a bisexual , as a lesbian — but for me, queerness encompasses all of the layers of who I am and how I've loved. 我找到了一些不同的方式来描述— —作为一名双性恋,一名女同性恋— —但是对于我来说, 性别认同疑惑这个词包括了我的全部,还有我爱的方式。
identified:v.确认;认出;找到;发现;说明身份;(identify的过去式和过去分词) bisexual:adj.两性的;雌雄同体的; lesbian:adj.[心理]女同性恋的;n.女同性恋者; queerness:n.奇异;不快; encompasses:vt.包含;包围,环绕;完成; layers:n.层;表层;层次;阶层;v.把…分层堆放;(layer的第三人称单数和复数)
I'm layers, and not fractions . 我是多层的,而不是分裂的。
fractions:n.[数]分数;小部分,片段(fraction的复数);
And for me, the fact that he was queer meant that I could trust his courtship from the very beginning. 对我来说, 他也是性别认同疑惑者的事实 意味着我从一开始就能够信任他对我的爱。
courtship:n.求爱;求婚;求爱期;
As queer and trans people, we're so often excluded from institutions and traditions. 作为同性恋和跨性别人群, 我们是如此经常的被制度和传统拒之门外。
excluded:v.排除;拒绝;把…除外;驱除;(excluded是exclude的过去分词) institutions:n.机构;慈善机构;风俗习惯,制度;(institution的复数)
We create spaces outside of convention, including the conventions of time. 我们在传统之外创建了新空间, 也突破了包括时间的传统。
conventions:n.[法]惯例;会议;[计]约定(convention的复数);
And in those 3,000 messages between us, we collapsed time; we queered it; we laid it all on the table. 在我们之间的那3000条信息, 我们使时间崩塌; 我们毁坏了它; 我们把它全部放在了台面上。
collapsed:v.倒塌,坍塌;倒下,昏倒;坐下;(collapse的过去分词和过去式) queered:adj.奇怪的; vt.搞糟; n.同性恋者;
(Laughter) （笑声）
With no pretense at all. 没有任何的虚假。
pretense:n.借口;虚假;炫耀;自吹(等于pretence);
And this meant that we were able to commit to each other in a profoundly different way. 这就意味着我们可以用截然不同的方式 对彼此做出承诺。
commit:v.犯(罪等);干(坏事等);[法]提(审);判处; profoundly:adv.深刻地;深深地;极度地;
So often what we're told is this idea of the " Golden Rule ," 我们经常被告知那个“黄金条约”,
Golden Rule:n.成功之重要原则;指导原则;
that we should treat other people the way we want to be treated . 就是己所不欲,勿施于人。
treated:v.以…态度对待;把…看作;(treat的过去分词和过去式)
But the problem with that is that it assumes that we are the standard for other people, and we're not. 但是问题是, 这是建立在我们作为他人的标准的假想之上的, 但我们并不是。
assumes:v.假定;采用;承担;呈;(assumes是assume的第三人称单数) standard:n.标准;水准;旗;度量衡标准;adj.标准的;合规格的;公认为优秀的;
We need to treat other people the way they want to be treated, which means we had to ask. “己所不欲,勿施于人”的意思是我们 要张口询问别人要什么。
I couldn't assume that the kind of love that Tiq needed was the same kind of love that I needed. 我不能保证我所想要的那种爱 和列想要的是同一种。
So I asked him everything — about his fears, his insecurities — and we started from there. 所以我就问他所有的一切－关于他的担忧,不安全感－ 我们从那里开始。
insecurities:n.不安全;不牢靠;无把握;心神不定;
TM: I didn't know what kind of love I needed. TM:我不知道我想要什么样的爱。
I had just come out of a year-long fog of being rejected and utterly depleted . 我刚刚走出长达一年的灰暗期, 在其中,我被排斥,被彻底删除。
year-long:长达一年的,一年之久的; rejected:adj.被拒的;不合格的;v.拒绝,驳回;(reject的过去式和过去分词) utterly:adv.完全地;绝对地;全然地;彻底地,十足地; depleted:v.大量减少;耗尽;使枯竭;(deplete的过去分词和过去式)
I had someone look me in my eyes and tell me that I was unworthy of their love because I was trans. 有些人看着我的眼睛, 告诉我,我不值得他们的爱,因为我是跨性别人群。
unworthy:adj.不值得的;无价值的;不相称的;
And there's a culture of lovelessness that we've created around transgender people. 我们创造了跨性别人群身边的 爱的文化。
It's reasoned, justified and often signed into law. 这是合理的,正当的,被法律认可的。
justified:adj.正当的; v.证明…正确; (justify的过去式和过去分词)
And I was a heartbeat away from internalizing that message, that I wasn't worthy. 我差一点点就认同了那些信息—— 我不值得。
heartbeat:n.心跳;情感; internalizing:内在化;
But Kim said that I was her ideal — the heartbroken mess that I was. 但吉姆说我是她的理想型—— 即使是我心碎是的糟糕样子。
heartbroken:adj.悲伤的,伤心的; mess:n.混乱;餐厅;杂乱;肮脏;v.使不整洁;弄脏;弄乱;随地便溺;
(Laughter) （笑声）
KKM: He totally was my ideal. KKM:他完全是我的理想型。
(Laughter) （笑声）
In more ways than one. 在很多方面都是这样。
Both poets, writers, creatives 我们都是诗人,作家,创想者
creatives:n.创意人员(creative的复数);