返回首页

TanyaMenon_2017X-_拥有重大机遇的秘诀？在于你还未遇到的人_
I started teaching MBA students 17 years ago. 17年前我开始教授 MBA课程
Sometimes I run into my students years later. 有时会在几年之后 碰到以前教过的学生
And when I run into them, a funny thing happens. 当我遇见他们时 有个很有意思的现象
I don't remember just their faces; 我不仅记得他们的脸
I also remember where exactly in the classroom they were sitting. 也记得他们坐在 教室的哪个位置
And I remember who they were sitting with as well. 和谁坐在一起
This is not because I have any special superpowers of memory. 这不是因为我有什么 记忆超能力
superpowers:n.超级大国;超能力;超级强权;(superpower的复数形式)
The reason I can remember them is because they are creatures of habit. 我之所以能记得学生们 是因为他们都是 跟着习惯走的人
creatures:n.生物;动物;(具有某种特征的)人(creature的复数)
They are sitting with their favorite people in their favorite seats. 总会与最喜欢的人 坐在最喜欢的位子
They find their twins, they stay with them for the whole year. 他们会找一个形影不离的伙伴 然后一整年都和他待在一起
Now, the danger of this for my students is they're at risk of leaving the university with just a few people who are exactly like them. 他们这样做是有风险的 当学生们离开大学步入社会 他们很可能只认识很少的人 并且还与他们很像
They're going to squander their chance for an international, diverse network. 他们会浪费掉接触国际化 多样化关系网的机会
squander:vt.浪费;vi.浪费;漂泊;n.浪费; diverse:adj.不同的;多种多样的;变化多的;
How could this happen to them? 这是如何发生的呢
My students are open-minded . 我的学生们思想开放
open-minded:adj.虚心的;思想开明的;无偏见的;
They come to business school precisely so that they can get great networks. 他们来到商学院正 是为了扩大社交圈子
business school:n.(大学里针对毕业生的)工商学院;
Now, all of us socially narrow in our lives, in our school, in work, and so I want you to think about this one. 我们所有人的社交圈都很有限 在生活 学校 工作中都是如此 因此我希望大家可以 思考一下这个问题
narrow:adj.狭窄的; v.使窄小; n.峡谷; (场所,物品等的)狭窄部分;
How many of you here brought a friend along for this talk? 你们当中有多少人 带了朋友来听讲座
I want you to look at your friend a little bit. 我希望你看看自己身边的朋友
Are they of the same nationality as you? 他们与你是否国籍相同
Are they of the same gender as you? 是否性别相同
gender:n.性别;
Are they of the same race? 与你的种族是否一样
Really look at them closely. 仔细好好看看他们
Don't they kind of look like you as well? 他们是不是也有点像你自己
(Laughter) （笑声）
The muscle people are together, and the people with the same hairstyles and the checked shirts. 身强体壮的在一起 发型相似的人在一起 穿着差不多衬衫的人在一起
muscle:n.肌肉;力量;v.加强;使劲搬动;使劲挤出; hairstyles:n.发型;发式;(hairstyle的复数)
We all do this in life. 在生活中 我们都会如此
We all do it in life, and in fact, there's nothing wrong with this. 实际上这样做并没有什么错
It makes us comfortable to be around people who are similar. 与自己相似的人在一起 让我们感到自在
The problem is when we're on a precipice , right? 问题是当我们遇到困难时该怎么办
precipice:n.悬崖;绝壁;险境;
When we're in trouble, when we need new ideas, when we need new jobs, when we need new resources -- this is when we really pay a price for living in a clique . 当我们遇到麻烦 需要新的想法 想换个新工作 或是需要新的资源 这就是我们为小圈子生活 付出代价的时候
resources:n.[计][环境]资源; v.向…提供资金(resource的第三人称单数); clique:n.派系;阀;私党;小圈子;vi.结党;
Mark Granovetter, the sociologist , had a famous paper "The Strength of Weak Ties," 社会学家马克·格拉诺维特 有一篇着名论文 叫做《弱关系的力量》
sociologist:n.社会学家;
and what he did in this paper is he asked people how they got their jobs. 他在这篇论文中询问人们 是如何找到工作的
And what he learned was that most people don't get their jobs through their strong ties -- their father, their mother, their significant other . 他从中了解到 大多数人得到工作 并不是通过关系紧密的人 例如父亲 母亲或伴侣
significant other:n.有特殊关系的那一位(如配偶、情人、恋人);
They instead get jobs through weak ties, people who they just met. 相反 他们会通过那些刚认识的人 关系不紧密的人获得工作
So if you think about what the problem is with your strong ties, think about your significant other, for example. 因此 思考一下你和 身边最重要的人 比如你的伴侣 之间出了什么问题
The network is redundant . 这种人际网是多余的
redundant:adj.多余的,过剩的;被解雇的,失业的;冗长的,累赘的;
Everybody that they know, you know. 他们认识的每个人你也都认识
Or I hope you know them. Right? 我希望你也认识他们
Your weak ties -- people you just met today -- they are your ticket to a whole new social world. 与你关系不紧密的人 你今天刚见过的人 他们才是你打开 社交大门的通行证
The thing is that we have this amazing ticket to travel our social worlds, but we don't use it very well. 事实上 我们都拥有这张通行证 但是并没有善加利用
Sometimes we stay awfully close to home . 有时候 我们和家庭成员异常亲近
awfully:adv.非常;极其; close to home:触及痛处;
And today, what I want to talk about is: 现在 我想要说的是
What are those habits that keep human beings so close to home, and how can we be a little bit more intentional about traveling our social universe? 那些让人类如此恋家的习惯是什么 我们如何能更积极地 对待扩大社交圈子这件事
intentional:adj.故意的;蓄意的;策划的;
So let's look at the first strategy . 我们先来看第一条策略
strategy:n.策略;行动计划;部署;战略;
The first strategy is to use a more imperfect social search engine . 第一条是说 要使用不完美的社交搜索引擎
imperfect:adj.有缺点的; n.未完成体; v.有瑕疵地; search engine:n.(计算机)搜索引擎;
What I mean by a social search engine is how you are finding and filtering your friends. 这里的社交搜索引擎 指的是你如何找到和筛选你的朋友
filtering:v.[化工]过滤,滤除(filter的ing形式);
And so people always tell me, "I want to get lucky through the network. 因此人们经常跟我说 我想要通过社交获得好运
I want to get a new job. I want to get a great opportunity." 我想要一个新工作 我想要获得很棒的机会
And I say, "Well, that's really hard, because your networks are so fundamentally predictable ." 我会说 这是很困难的 因为你的社交圈子 根本上来讲是可预测的
fundamentally:adv.从根本上;基础地;重要地 predictable:adj.可预言的;
Map out your habitual daily footpath , and what you'll probably discover is that you start at home, you go to your school or your workplace , you maybe go up the same staircase or elevator , you go to the bathroom -- the same bathroom -- and the same stall in that bathroom, you end up in the gym, then you come right back home. 详细列出你一天生活的轨迹 你很可能发现每天从家里出发 去学校或者去工作 你可能走同样的楼梯或电梯 你去同样的洗手间 同一个洗手间位置相同的隔间 最后你会去健身房 之后回到家里
habitual:adj.习惯的;惯常的;习以为常的; footpath:n.人行道;小路;小径; workplace:n.工作场所;车间; staircase:n.楼梯; elevator:n.电梯;升降机;升降舵;起卸机; stall:n.摊位;牲畜棚;小隔间,淋浴室,洗手间;v.(使)熄火,抛锚;故意拖延;
It's like stops on a train schedule . 这就像是列车停靠的站点一样
schedule:工作计划,日程安排
It's that predictable. 完全可以预测
It's efficient , but the problem is, you're seeing exactly the same people. 它很高效 但问题是 你见到的都是相同的人
efficient:adj.有效率的;有能力的;生效的;
Make your network slightly more inefficient . 让你的人际网络不太高效
slightly:adv.些微地,轻微地;纤细地; inefficient:adj.无效率的,效率低的;无能的;
Go to a bathroom on a different floor. 去另一层楼的洗手间
You encounter a whole new network of people. 你会遇到从来没遇到的人
encounter:v.遭遇,邂逅;遇到;n.遭遇,偶然碰见;
The other side of it is how we are actually filtering. 另一方面 我们实际上也在进行筛选
And we do this automatically . 我们自动进行筛选
automatically:adv.自动地;机械地;无意识地;adj.不经思索的;
The minute we meet someone, we are looking at them, we meet them, we are initially seeing, "You're interesting." 我们在见到某人时 会先打量一番 通过第一眼观察 便会判断 这人很有趣
initially:adv.最初,首先;开头;
'"You're not interesting." "You're relevant ." 这人很无聊 这人用得着
relevant:adj.相关的;切题的;中肯的;有重大关系的;有意义的,目的明确的;
We do this automatically. We can't even help it. 我们会自动开始筛选 根本无法控制
And what I want to encourage you to do instead is to fight your filters . 我鼓励大家对抗这种筛选机制
filters:n.过滤器; v.过滤; (filter的第三人称单数和复数)
I want you to take a look around this room, and I want you to identify the least interesting person that you see, and I want you to connect with them over the next coffee break . 我希望你环视这间屋子 找出你看到的最无趣的人 然后在下一次茶歇时 和他认识一下
identify:v.识别:鉴定:确认:发现: coffee break:n.工间喝咖啡休息时间;
And I want you to go even further than that. 我希望你更进一步
What I want you to do is find the most irritating person you see as well and connect with them. 找到那个让你看上去觉得 最招人讨厌的人 跟他认识一下
irritating:adj.惹人生气的;恼人的;使人生气的;v.使烦恼;刺激;(irritate的现在分词)
What you are doing with this exercise is you are forcing yourself to see what you don't want to see, to connect with who you don't want to connect with, to widen your social world. 这项练习是强迫你自己 去观察那些你不想看到的 去认识那些你不想认识的人 这样就扩宽了你的社交圈
widen:v.(使)变宽;拓宽;(使)扩展,程度加深,范围扩大;
To truly widen, what we have to do is, we've got to fight our sense of choice. 如果想要真正地扩大你的圈子 我们需要对抗我们的感觉
We've got to fight our choices. 对抗让你做出选择的感觉
And my students hate this, but you know what I do? 我的学生都很讨厌这样做 但你知道我是怎么做的么
I won't let them sit in their favorite seats. 我不让他们坐在自己喜欢的座位上
I move them around from seat to seat. 我让他们换其他位置坐
I force them to work with different people so there are more accidental bumps in the network where people get a chance to connect with each other. 我迫使他们和不同的人一起 因此在社交圈中就出现了 更多意外的碰撞 通过这些碰撞 人们有机会认识彼此
accidental:n.偶然;[乐]临时符;adj.不测的;非本质的; bumps:碰撞(bump的第三人称单数);碰撞(bump的复数);
And we studied exactly this kind of an intervention at Harvard University. 我们在哈佛大学 对这种干预方法进行了研究
intervention:n.介入;调停;妨碍; Harvard:n.哈佛大学;哈佛大学学生;
At Harvard, when you look at the rooming groups, there's freshman rooming groups, people are not choosing those roommates. 在哈佛 你观察室友群体时 大一新生并不选择自己的室友
They're of all different races, all different ethnicities . 他们来自不同种族 不同民族
ethnicities:n.种族划分;
Maybe people are initially uncomfortable with those roommates, but the amazing thing is, at the end of a year with those students, they're able to overcome that initial discomfort . 也许人们一开始会感觉不自在 但令人惊讶的是 一年之后 同学们能够克服一开始的不适
overcome:vt.克服;胜过;vi.克服;得胜; discomfort:n.不适,不安;不便之处;vt.使…不舒服;使…不安;
They're able to find deep-level commonalities with people. 他们能够发现和其他人 深层次的共同点
commonalities:n.公共;共性;老百姓;平民;
So the takeaway here is not just "take someone out to coffee." 这里的关键不只是 带某人去喝咖啡
It's a little more subtle . 而是更微妙的东西
subtle:adj.微妙的;精细的;敏感的;狡猾的;稀薄的;
It's "go to the coffee room." 是 去咖啡厅
When researchers talk about social hubs , what makes a social hub so special is you can't choose; you can't predict who you're going to meet in that place. 研究者谈论社交中心时认为 社交中心的特殊之处 在于你无法选择 你不能预测你会在那儿遇到谁
hubs:n.枢纽;中心(hub的复数);毂;
And so with these social hubs, the paradox is, interestingly enough, to get randomness , it requires, actually, some planning. 在这里 一个有趣的悖论是 要想达到随机性 实际上需要一些规划
paradox:n.悖论,反论;似非而是的论点;自相矛盾的人或事; interestingly:adv.有趣地; randomness:n.随意;无安排;不可测性;
In one university that I worked at, there was a mail room on every single floor. 在我曾经工作的一所大学中 每一层楼都有一间收发室
What that meant is that the only people who would bump into each other are those who are actually on that floor and who are bumping into each other anyway. 这意味着 在那里遇到的人 都工作在同一楼层 他们通过其他方式也总能遇到
bumping:v.碰上,撞上;颠簸行进(bump的现在分词)
At another university I worked at, there was only one mail room, so all the faculty from all over that building would run into each other in that social hub. 在另一所我曾工作的大学中 只有一件收发室 因此全楼的教职工 都会在这个小中心遇到彼此
faculty:n.科,系;能力;全体教员;
A simple change in planning, a huge difference in the traffic of people and the accidental bumps in the network. 只是在规划上做一个小的改变 就会带来人员流动的巨大差异 也会产生社交圈中意外的碰撞
Here's my question for you: 问大家一个问题
What are you doing that breaks you from your social habits? 为了改掉社交习惯 你做了哪些事情
Where do you find yourself in places where you get injections of unpredictable diversity ? 你会去哪些地方 与各种各样的人不期而遇
injections:n.注射(injection的复数);注射剂;注射室; unpredictable:adj.不可预知的;不定的;出乎意料的;n.不可预言的事; diversity:n.差异(性):多样性:多样化:
And my students give me some wonderful examples. 我的学生给出了一些很棒的示范
They tell me when they're doing pickup basketball games, or my favorite example is when they go to a dog park. 他们会去篮球场 与陌生人打篮球 我很喜欢的一个想法是 一些学生会去小狗公园
pickup:n.收集,整理;小卡车;拾起;搭车者;偶然结识者;
They tell me it's even better than online dating when they're there. 这些学生表示这比网上约会更好
So the real thing that I want you to think about is we've got to fight our filters. 因此 我需要你们思考的是 我们需要对抗自己的筛选机制
We've got to make ourselves a little more inefficient, and by doing so, we are creating a more imprecise social search engine. 我们需要让自己更低效一些 这样就产生了 一个更不精确的社交搜索引擎
imprecise:adj.不精确的;不严密的;不确切的;
And you're creating that randomness, that luck that is going to cause you to widen your travels, through your social universe. 你们就创造出了随机性 还有那些好运气 在结识更多人的过程中 帮助你扩宽社交圈
But in fact, there's more to it than that. 而事实还不仅如此
Sometimes we actually buy ourselves a second-class ticket to travel our social universe. 有时候我们会在结识他人的过程中 给自己一些不利条件
second-class:adj.第二流的;次劣的;adv.坐二等车;作为第二类邮件;
We are not courageous when we reach out to people. 我们不够勇敢去主动认识他人
courageous:adj.有胆量的,勇敢的;
Let me give you an example of that. 我来给大家举一个例子
A few years ago, I had a very eventful year. 几年前的一个多事之秋
eventful:adj.多事的;重要的;多变故的;重大的;
That year, I managed to lose a job, 我辞掉了工作
I managed to get a dream job overseas and accept it, 接受了一个梦寐以求的海外工作
overseas:adv.在海外,海外;adj.海外的,国外的;
I had a baby the next month, 下一个月我怀孕了
I got very sick, 我非常虚弱
I was unable to take the dream job. 无法从事那项工作
And so in a few weeks, what ended up happening was, 结果就是 在几周之后
I lost my identity as a faculty member, and I got a very stressful new identity as a mother. 我教师的身份没有了 新的身份是一个充满压力的母亲
identity:n.身份;同一性,一致;特性;恒等式; stressful:adj.紧张的;有压力的;
What I also got was tons of advice from people. 我从其他人那里获得了很多建议
And the advice I despised more than any other advice was, "You've got to go network with everybody." 在这些建议中 我最鄙视的一条就是 你得去和每个人打打交道
despised:v.鄙视;蔑视;看不起;(despise的过去分词和过去式)
When your psychological world is breaking down, the hardest thing to do is to try and reach out and build up your social world. 当你的内心世界濒临崩塌 最困难的事情就是尝试 主动建立自己的社交圈
psychological:adj.心理的;心理学的;精神上的;
And so we studied exactly this idea on a much larger scale . 因此我们在更大范围 上研究了这个观点
scale:n.规模;比例;鳞;刻度;天平;数值范围;v.衡量;攀登;剥落;生水垢;
What we did was we looked at high and low socioeconomic status people, and we looked at them in two situations. 我们观察了社会经济地位高 和地位低的两组人 将其置于两种情况
high and low:到处;高低贵贱; socioeconomic:adj.社会经济学的; status:n.地位;状态;情形;重要身份;
We looked at them first in a baseline condition, when they were quite comfortable. 我们先以基准情况进行观察 他们表现都十分自如
baseline:n.基线;底线;
And what we found was that our lower socioeconomic status people, when they were comfortable, were actually reaching out to more people. 之后我们发现 社会经济地位低的人们 会在主动接触更多人的 时候感到更加自如
They thought of more people. 他们希望认识更多人
They were also less constrained in how they were networking. 相比于社会经济地位更高的人群
constrained:adj.不自然的; v.约束; (constrain的过去分词和过去式)
They were thinking of more diverse people than the higher-status people. 地位低的人在结交朋友时也更放得开 想要接触更多样化的人群
Then we asked them to think about maybe losing a job. 然后我们让他们考虑失去工作
We threatened them. 以此作为一种威慑
And once they thought about that, the networks they generated completely differed. 当他们一旦开始思考这一点 他们构建的社交网变得完全不同
generated:v.产生;引起;(generate的过去式和过去分词)
The lower socioeconomic status people reached inwards . 社会经济地位低的人不再接触外界
inwards:adv.向内地;向中心地;
They thought of fewer people. 他们会考虑到更少的人
They thought of less-diverse people. 多元化程度也降低
The higher socioeconomic status people thought of more people, they thought of a broader network, they were positioning themselves to bounce back from that setback . 社会经济地位高的人 会考虑到更多的人 和更宽的社交圈 他们会认定自己会 不惧困难 重新振作
bounce:v.反弹;反射;(使)弹起;n.弹跳;跳动;弹性; setback:n.挫折;退步;逆流;
Let's consider what this actually means. 我们思考一下这意味着什么
Imagine that you were being spontaneously unfriended by everyone in your network other than your mom, your dad and your dog. 设想你的社交圈里所有人都与你 解除好友关系 除了你的爸爸妈妈和你家的狗
spontaneously:adv.自发地;自然地;不由自主地; unfriended:adj.无友人的;无依的;
(Laughter) 这本质上就是我们正在做的事情
This is essentially what we are doing at these moments when we need our networks the most. 这本质上就是我们正在做的事情 在我们最需要朋友的时刻
essentially:adv.本质上;本来;
Imagine -- this is what we're doing. We're doing it to ourselves. 想象一下 这就是我们正在对自己做的事
We are mentally compressing our networks when we are being harassed , when we are being bullied , when we are threatened about losing a job, when we feel down and weak. 我们在精神上压制自己的关系网 当我们受到侵犯时 当我们被欺负时 当我们被威胁失去工作时 当我们感觉低落和脆弱时
compressing:n.压缩;v.压缩,压榨(compress的现在分词形式); harassed:adj.疲惫焦虑的;v.侵扰;骚扰;不断攻击(敌人);(harass的过去分词和过去式) bullied:v.恐吓;伤害;胁迫;(bully的过去分词和过去式)
We are closing ourselves off, isolating ourselves, creating a blind spot where we actually don't see our resources. 我们封闭了自己 隔离了自己 产生了一个盲点 令我们看不到自己拥有的资源
isolating:adj.孤立的;绝缘的;v.使隔离;使绝缘(isolate的ing形式); blind spot:n.视线盲区(尤指车辆驾驶员看不见的路段);无视;没有认识;
We don't see our allies , we don't see our opportunities. 我们看不到自己的盟友 看不到自己机会
allies:n.盟友,支持者:v.与…结盟(ally的第三人称单数和复数)
How can we overcome this? 我们应该如何克服这一点呢
Two simple strategies . 有两条简单的方法
strategies:n.策略;行动计划;部署;战略;(strategy的复数)
One strategy is simply to look at your list of Facebook friends and LinkedIn friends just so you remind yourself of people who are there beyond those that automatically come to mind. 第一条很简单 查看你的脸书和领英网好友 提醒自己有哪些人在联系人列表里 而你却没想起来
LinkedIn:人际关系网;邻客音;社交网站; remind:v.提醒;使想起;
And in our own research, one of the things we did was, we considered Claude Steele's research on self-affirmation : simply thinking about your own values, networking from a place of strength. 在我们自己进行的研究中 我们参照了克劳德·斯蒂尔 在自我肯定方面的研究 即 从优势角度思考 你自己的价值关系网 你自己的价值关系网
self-affirmation:n.自我肯定;
What Leigh Thompson, Hoon-Seok Choi and I were able to do is, we found that people who had affirmed themselves first were able to take advice from people who would otherwise be threatening to them. 雷恩·汤普森 崔洪熙和我发现 那些能够先肯定自我的人们 可以接受来自他人的建议 而不是把他们当做威胁
affirmed:n.收到来电;vt.肯定(affirm的过去式);vi.断言(affirm的过去式);
Here's a last exercise. 下面我们进行最后一个小练习
I want you to look in your email in-box , and I want you to look at the last time you asked somebody for a favor. 我希望你们看看自己的电邮收件箱 看看最后一次你向他人 寻求帮助的时候
in-box:n.邮件网站内的信箱;收件箱;
And I want you to look at the language that you used. 看一下你的措辞
Did you say things like, "Oh, you're a great resource," 你是不是提到 你真是太重要了
or " I owe you one," 我欠你一个人情
I owe you:我欠你的;
'"I'm obligated to you." 我对您感激不尽
obligated:adj.有义务的,有责任的,必须的; v.使负有义务; (obligate的过去式和过去分词)
All of this language represents a metaphor . 这些话语都代表了一种寓意
represents:v.代表;维护…的利益;相当于;(represent的第三人称单数) metaphor:n.暗喻,隐喻;比喻说法;
It's a metaphor of economics, of a balance sheet , of accounting, of transactions . 是一种经济学的说法 像会计学里面的收支平衡表 是一种交易
balance sheet:资产负债表; transactions:n.处理,[图情]会报;汇报(transaction复数);
And when we think about human relations in a transactional way, it is fundamentally uncomfortable to us as human beings. 当我们以交易的角度思考人类关系 作为人类的我们会感到很不舒服
transactional:adj.交易型的;事务性的;事务处理的;
We must think about human relations and reaching out to people in more humane ways. 我们必须用一种更人性的方式 去思考人类关系和与他人交往
humane:adj.仁慈的,人道的;高尚的;
Here's an idea as to how to do so. 给大家提供一个解决方法
Look at words like "please," "thank you," "you're welcome" in other languages. 观察其他语言中 请 谢谢 不客气 等等词汇
Look at the literal translation of these words. 是如何表达的
literal:adj.文字的;逐字的;无夸张的;
Each of these words is a word that helps us impose upon other people in our social networks. 这几个词都帮助我们在关系网中 让别人接受我们
impose upon:征收;强加于;
And so, the word "thank you," 因此 谢谢 这个词
if you look at it in Spanish, Italian, French, "gracias," " grazie ," " merci " in French. gracias grazie merci 在西班牙语 意大利语 法语中分别是
grazie:n.谢谢(意大利语);修道院; merci:int.谢谢(法语);
Each of them are " grace " and " mercy ." 它们都含有grace(优雅)和mercy(仁慈)
grace:n.优雅;恩惠;魅力;慈悲;v.使优美; mercy:n.仁慈,宽容;怜悯;幸运;善行;
They are godly words. 它们都是神圣的单词
godly:adj.神圣的;对神敬虔的;
There's nothing economic or transactional about those words. 这些话语中没有经济交易的含义
The word "you're welcome" is interesting. 不客气 这个词则很有趣
The great persuasion theorist Robert Cialdini says we've got to get our favors back. 伟大的说服理论学家 罗伯特·科拉迪尼说 我们需要别人能对我们的帮助以回报
persuasion:n.说服;说服力;信念;派别; theorist:n.理论家;
So we need to emphasize the transaction a little bit more. 因此我们会稍微带上一点交易色彩
emphasize:v.强调;重视;着重;使突出;
He says, "Let's not say 'You're welcome.' 他表示 我们不要说 不客气
Instead say, 'I know you'd do the same for me.'" 改成说 我知道你也会这样对我的
But sometimes it may be helpful to not think in transactional ways, to eliminate the transaction, to make it a little bit more invisible . 但有时候 也许不从交易角度思考 把交易的意味冲淡一些 会更有帮助
eliminate:v.消除;排除; invisible:adj.看不见的;n.看不见的人或物;
And in fact, if you look in Chinese, "Don't be formal; we're family. We don't need to go through those formalities ." 事实上 如果参考中文 意思是 我们都是自家人 用不着客套
formalities:n.手续;礼节(formality的复数);拘谨;
And "kembali" in Indonesian is "Come back to me." 在印度尼西亚语中 不客气是kembali 意思是再来找我
Indonesian:n.印尼人;印尼语群;印度尼西亚语;adj.印尼的;
When you say "You're welcome" next time, think about how you can maybe eliminate the transaction and instead strengthen that social tie. 当你下次说 You*re welcome 时 思考一下如何能够 消除这种交易的感觉 从而设法加强社交联系
Maybe "It's great to collaborate ," or "That's what friends are for." 也许换成 与你合作很愉快 这就是朋友应该做的 会更好
collaborate:vi.合作;勾结,通敌;
I want you to think about how you think about this ticket that you have to travel your social universe. 我还希望大家可以思考一下你拥有的 打开人际网络大门的钥匙
Here's one metaphor. 有一个比喻
It's a common metaphor: "Life is a journey ." Right? 它很普通 说的是 生活就是一次旅行
journey:n.旅行;行程;vi.旅行;
It's a train ride, and you're a passenger on the train, and there are certain people with you. 它是一次火车之旅 如果你是列车上的乘客 身边会有一些特定的人
passenger:n.旅客;乘客;白吃饭的人;闲散人员;
Certain people get on this train, and some stay with you, some leave at different stops, new ones may enter. 有些人会乘坐这趟列车 有些人会陪着你 有些人会在不同的车站离开 新的人又会上车
I love this metaphor, it's a beautiful one. 我喜爱这个比喻 它很美
But I want you to consider a different metaphor. 但是我希望你能思考另一个比喻
This one is passive , being a passenger on that train, and it's quite linear . 因为这个比喻太被动了 作为列车的乘客 你的轨迹太单调了
passive:adj.被动的,消极的;被动语态的;n.被动语态; linear:adj.线的,线型的;直线的,线状的;长度的;
You're off to some particular destination. 你总会在某个特定地点下车
Why not instead think of yourself as an atom, bumping up against other atoms , maybe transferring energy with them, bonding with them a little and maybe creating something new on your travels through the social universe. 为什么不把自己想成是 一个原子 在社交的宇宙中 与其他原子碰撞 也许与他们传递能量 与他们建立亲密联系 甚至创造出新的东西
atoms:n.[物]原子(atom的复数); transferring:n.[计]转移,传递;v.移动,[计]转移(transfer的现在分词形式);
Thank you so much. 非常感谢
And I hope we bump into each other again. 我希望我们能够再次见到彼此
(Applause)