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SuleikaJaouad_2019-_死亡教会我活着的意义_-
It was the spring of 2011, and as they like to say in commencement speeches, 2011年春天, 就像大学毕业典礼 演讲里说的那样,
commencement:n.开始,发端;毕业典礼;
I was getting ready to enter the real world. 我做好了面对现实 世界的准备。
I had recently graduated from college and moved to Paris to start my first job. 我刚刚大学毕业, 搬到了巴黎, 开始了我第一份工作。
recently:adv.最近;新近;
My dream was to become a war correspondent , but the real world that I found took me into a really different kind of conflict zone. 我的梦想是成为 一名战地记者, 但现实世界把我 带到了一个 很不一样的矛盾世界。
correspondent:n.通讯记者;客户;通信者;代理商行; conflict:n.冲突;矛盾;争执;抵触;v.抵触;
At 22 years old, 22岁时,
I was diagnosed with leukemia . 我被诊断出了白血病。
diagnosed:v.诊断(疾病);判断(问题的原因);(diagnose的过去分词和过去式) leukemia:n.[内科][肿瘤]白血病;
The doctors told me and my parents, point-blank , that I had about a 35 percent chance of long-term survival . 医生坦白地告诉 我和我的父母, 我有百分之三十五的几率 可以活下去。
point-blank:步步惊魂;步步惊魂; long-term:adj.长期的;从长远来看; survival:n.幸存,残存;幸存者,残存物;
I couldn't wrap my head around what that prognosis meant. 我不能理解和接受 那诊断书意味着什么。
wrap:v.缠绕;隐藏;掩护;包起来;缠绕;穿外衣;n.外套;围巾; prognosis:n.[医]预后;预知;
But I understood that the reality and the life I'd imagined for myself had shattered . 但我明白我想象中的世界 已经被动摇。
shattered:adj.受到严重打击的; v.(使)破碎,碎裂; (shatter的过去式和过去分词)
Overnight , I lost my job, my apartment, my independence , and I became patient number 5624. 一夜之间,我失去了 工作,房子,自由, 我变成了病号5624。
Overnight:adj.夜间的; v.在夜间; n.(美)前一天的晚上; independence:n.独立;独立性;自恃心;独立不羁的精神; patient:adj.有耐心的,能容忍的;n.病人;患者;
Over the next four years of chemo , a clinical trial and a bone marrow transplant , the hospital became my home, my bed, the place I lived 24/7. 在接下来4年里, 我接受了临床化疗, 做了骨髓移植, 医院变成了我家, 还有我的床, 我一直呆着的地方。
chemo:n.化疗(等于chemotherapy);化学疗法; clinical:adj.临床的;诊所的; bone marrow:n.骨髓; transplant:v.移植;迁移;使移居;n.移植;移居者;
Since it was unlikely that I'd ever get better, 自从觉得我的病 再也不会好了,
unlikely:adj.不大可能发生的;非心目中的;非想象的;难以相信的;
I had to accept my new reality. 我接受了这个现实。
And I adapted . 我习惯了,
adapted:adj.适于…的; v.使适应,使适合; (adapt的过去分词和过去式)
I became fluent in medicalese, made friends with a group of other young cancer patients , built a vast collection of neon wigs and learned to use my rolling IV pole as a skateboard . 我流利地说着 医学名词, 其他年轻的癌症病人 成了我的朋友, 我收集五颜六色的假发, 把移动点滴架当成滑板。
fluent:adj.流畅的,流利的;液态的;畅流的; cancer:n.癌症;恶性肿瘤; patients:n.接受治疗者,病人;(patient的复数) neon:n.霓虹灯;氖(10号元素,符号Ne); wigs:n.[轻]假发(wig的复数); pole:n.磁极;电极;柱子;杆子;v.用篙撑船;摆船; skateboard:n.溜冰板;vi.用滑板滑行;
I even achieved my dream of becoming a war correspondent, although not in the way I'd expected. 我甚至改变了成为 战地记者的梦想, 这其实出乎我的意料。
in the way:妨碍;挡道;
It started with a blog , reporting from the front lines of my hospital bed, and it morphed into a column I wrote for the New York Times, called "Life, Interrupted ." 这是从一篇博客开始的, 从我病床记录第一页开始, 它慢慢变成了 纽约时报的一个专栏, 叫做“生命·摧毁”。
blog:n.博客;部落格;网络日志; morphed:在屏幕上变换图像(morph的过去式和过去分词); column:n.栏目,纵队; Interrupted:v.插嘴; adj.被阻止的,中断的; (interrupt的过去分词和过去式)
But -- (Applause) 但是 --（掌声）
Thank you. 谢谢。
(Applause) （掌声）
But above all else, my focus was on surviving. 关键是, 我的关注点是活下去。
And -- spoiler alert -- 并且 -- 我要剧透了哈 --
spoiler:n.剧透(透露与电影,书籍或者游戏内容有关的信息。); alert:n.警报; adj.警觉的; v.向…报警;
(Laughter) （笑声）
I did survive, yeah. 我活了下来。
(Applause) （掌声）
Thanks to an army of supportive humans, 感谢那些支持过我的人们,
supportive:adj.支持的;支援的;赞助的;
I'm not just still here, I am cured of my cancer. 我不仅仅还活着, 而且治好了癌症。
(Applause) （掌声）
Thank you. 谢谢。
(Applause) （掌声）
So, when you go through a traumatic experience like this, people treat you differently. 所以当我们有过 这种痛苦的经历后, 别人会对你另眼相看。
traumatic:adj.外伤的;创伤的;n.外伤药; treat:v.治疗;处理;招待;款待;n.款待;乐事;乐趣;
They start telling you how much of an inspiration you are. 他们会告诉你 你的故事多么鼓舞人心。
They say you're a warrior . 他们说你是一个战士。
warrior:n.勇士;
They call you a hero, someone who's lived the mythical hero's journey , who's endured impossible trials and, against the odds , lived to tell the tale, returning better and braver for what you're been through. 他们叫你英雄, 就好像你踏上了一段 神秘的危险旅程, 经历了各种考验。 克服困难重重凯旋归来, 开始讲述关于自己的传说, 并且因为所见所闻 变得更厉害、勇敢。
mythical:adj.神话的;虚构的; journey:n.旅行;行程;vi.旅行; endured:v.忍耐;忍受;持续;持久;(endure的过去分词和过去式) odds:n.几率;胜算;不平等;差别;
And this definitely lines up with my experience. 这跟我的经历 确实有点类似。
definitely:adv.清楚地,当然;明确地,肯定地;
Cancer totally transformed my life. 癌症改变了我的生活。
transformed:v.使改变形态;使改变外观(或性质);(transform的过去分词和过去式)
I left the hospital knowing exactly who I was and what I wanted to do in the world. 我离开医院, 清楚地认识自己, 知道我想做什么。
And now, every day as the sun rises, 现在,每天日出时,
I drink a big glass of celery juice, and I follow this up with 90 minutes of yoga . 我会喝一大杯芹菜汁, 然后做一个半小时瑜伽。
celery:n.[园艺]芹菜; yoga:n.瑜珈(意为"结合",指修行);瑜珈术;联想可360°翻转的平板电脑;
Then, I write down 50 things I'm grateful for onto a scroll of paper that I fold into an origami crane and send sailing out my window. 然后,我会在一张纸上 写下让我感激的50件事, 折成一只纸鹤并让它 从窗户飞出去。
scroll:n.纸卷;卷轴;涡卷形装饰;v.滚屏;滚动; fold:v.折叠;包;可叠平(以便贮存或携带);裹;n.褶;褶层;折叠部分;褶痕; origami:n.折纸手工;折纸手工品; crane:n.吊车,起重机;鹤;vi.伸着脖子看;迟疑,踌躇;vt.用起重机起吊;伸长脖子;
(Laughter) （笑声）
Are you seriously believing any of this? 你们相信吗？
(Laughter) （笑声）
I don't do any of these things. 我根本不会做 上述的任何事。
(Laughter) （笑声）
I hate yoga, and I have no idea how to fold an origami crane. 我讨厌瑜伽, 也不会折纸鹤。
I have no idea:我没有头绪…;
The truth is that for me, the hardest part of my cancer experience began once the cancer was gone. 实际上, 我的癌症经历中最难的 是癌症被治好后的时光。
That heroic journey of the survivor we see in movies and watch play out on Instagram -- it's a myth. 我们在电影和 Instagram上 看到那些幸存者们的英雄故事 -- 他们都是个谜。
heroic:adj.英雄的;英勇的;记叙英雄及其事迹的;夸张的;n.史诗;英勇行为; Instagram:照片分享(一款运行在iPhone平台上的应用程序);
It isn't just untrue , it's dangerous, because it erases the very real challenges of recovery . 这些描述不仅不现实, 而且很危险。 因为他们掩饰了 康复过程中真实的挑战。
untrue:adj.不真实的;不合标准的;不忠实的;不正当的; erases:v.消除(erase的三单形式);擦除;抹去; recovery:n.恢复,复原;痊愈;重获;
Now, don't get me wrong -- I am incredibly grateful to be alive, and I am painfully aware that this struggle is a privilege that many don't get to experience. 不要误会 -- 我非常感激 有活下来的机会, 我痛苦地意识到 与病魔抗争是 一种大多数人都 没有的幸运。
incredibly:adv.难以置信地;非常地; painfully:adv.痛苦地,费力地; privilege:n.特权;优待;v.给与…特权;特免;
But it's important that I tell you what this projection of heroism and expectation of constant gratitude does to people who are trying to recover. 但我想告诉你们的是, 这种英雄主义的映射和 对持续感激的期待 对努力康复的病人来说, 意味着什么。
projection:n.投射;规划;突出;发射;推测; heroism:n.英勇,英雄气概;英雄行为;勇敢的事迹; expectation:n.预料;预期;期待;希望;指望; gratitude:n.感谢(的心情);感激;
Because being cured is not where the work of healing ends. 因为被治疗好 不意味着康复结束,
healing:n.康复; adj.痊愈中的; v.(使)康复,复原; (heal的现在分词)
It's where it begins. 而意味着开始。
I'll never forget the day I was discharged from the hospital, finally done with treatment . 我永远都不会忘记出院那天, 结束治疗时的感觉。
discharged:v.准许(某人)离开;解雇;释放;排出;(discharge的过去分词和过去式) finally:adv.终于;最终;(用于列举)最后;彻底地; treatment:n.治疗;疗法;对待;处理;讨论;
Those four years of chemo had taken a toll on my relationship with my longtime boyfriend, and he'd recently moved out. 4年的化疗淡化了 我和男友的感情, 他最近搬出去了。
toll:n.伤亡人数; v.(缓慢而有规律地)敲(钟); (尤指)鸣(丧钟); longtime:adj.长时间的;为时甚久的;adv.长久地;
And when I walked into my apartment, it was quiet. 当我走进家门时, 里面是寂静的。
Eerily so. 这只是个开始。
Eerily:adj.怪诞的;奇异的;可怕的;
The person I wanted to call in this moment, the person who I knew would understand everything, was my friend Melissa. 此时我最想打电话的人, 她会明白我说的一切, 是我的朋友梅丽莎。
She was a fellow cancer patient, but she had died three weeks earlier. 她是一位病友, 但她三周前去世了。
As I stood there in the doorway of my apartment, 我站在我家的门廊里,
doorway:n.门口;途径;
I wanted to cry. 我想哭。
But I was too tired to cry. 但我累得哭不出来。
The adrenaline was gone. 肾上腺素作用褪去,
adrenaline:n.[生化]肾上腺素;
I had felt as if the inner scaffolding that had held me together since my diagnosis had suddenly crumbled . 我感觉心中那个 从我被确诊第一天 支撑我的支架, 忽然坍塌。
inner:n.内部;射中接近靶心部分的一发;adj.里面的;向内的;内部的;接近中心的; scaffolding:n.脚手架;搭脚手架的材料; diagnosis:n.诊断; crumbled:破碎;
I had spent the past 1,500 days working tirelessly to achieve one goal: to survive. 在过去1500天里, 我只为一个目标努力: 活下去。
tirelessly:adv.不知疲倦地;不屈不挠地;
And now that I'd done so, 现在目标实现了,
I realized I had absolutely no idea how to live. 我意识到我不知道 怎么继续活下去。
absolutely:adv.绝对地;完全地;
On paper, of course, I was better: 纸面上看,我痊愈了:
I didn't have leukemia, my blood counts were back to normal, and the disability checks soon stopped coming. 我不再患白血病。 我的血样检查恢复正常, 我不再有异样检查。
disability:n.残疾;无能;无资格;不利条件;
To the outside world, 对外人来说,
I clearly didn't belong in the kingdom of the sick anymore. 我再也不属于那个 病号的世界了。
But in reality, I never felt further from being well. 但实际上,我从未 感觉痊愈。
All that chemo had taken a permanent physical toll on my body. 我所接受的化疗在我身上 留下了永久的伤疤。
permanent:adj.永久的,永恒的;n.烫发; physical:adj.[物]物理的;身体的;物质的;符合自然法则的;n.体格检查;
I wondered, "What kind of job can I hold when I need to nap for four hours in the middle of the day? 我心想,“什么工作 可以让我在白天睡四个小时,
nap:n.打盹;短绒毛;赛马情报;v.打盹;(naps是nap的复数)
When my misfiring immune system still sends me to the ER on a regular basis?" 当我那不奏效的免疫系统 让我去定时接受化疗时？“
misfiring:v.不点火(misfire的ing形式); immune system:n.免疫系统;
And then there were the invisible , psychological imprints my illness had left behind: the fears of relapse , the unprocessed grief , the demons of PTSD that descended upon me for days, sometimes weeks. 还有那无形的、 疾病留下的 心理印记: 对疾病复发的恐惧, 毫无掩饰的悲伤, 以及创伤后应激障碍 每次对我长达数天,有时数周的折磨。
invisible:adj.看不见的;n.看不见的人或物; psychological:adj.心理的;心理学的;精神上的; imprints:[法]痕迹; relapse:vi.故态复萌;旧病复发;再度堕落;再陷邪道;n.复发,再发;故态复萌;回复原状; unprocessed:adj.未被加工的; grief:n.悲痛;忧伤;不幸; demons:n.恶魔;魔鬼;心魔;邪念;(demon的复数) PTSD:abbr.创伤后精神紧张性精神障碍(post-traumaticstressdisorder); descended:adj.出身于...的;从一个祖先传下来的;
See, we talk about reentry in the context of war and incarceration . 当我们讲到战争和关押, 我们总谈到重新 融入这个社会。
reentry:n.[航]再入;再进; context:n.环境;上下文;来龙去脉; incarceration:n.监禁;下狱;禁闭;
But we don't talk about it as much in the context of other kinds of traumatic experiences, like an illness. 但当我们说到痛苦的经历, 如疾病时,我们很少那么讲。
Because no one had warned me of the challenges of reentry, 因为没有人曾警告过我 重新融入这个社会的困难,
I thought something must be wrong with me. 所以我觉得是我的问题。
I felt ashamed , and with great guilt, I kept reminding myself of how lucky I was to be alive at all, when so many people like my friend Melissa were not. 我感到很惭愧, 很有罪恶感, 并不停提醒自己 我能活下来已经很幸运了, 许多像梅丽莎一样的 病友都没能撑下来。
ashamed:adj.惭愧;尴尬;因惭愧而不情愿; reminding:v.提醒;使想起;(remind的现在分词)
But on most days, I woke up feeling so sad and lost, 但无数的日子里,我 悲伤而失落地醒来,
I could barely breathe. 我几乎无法呼吸。
barely:adv.仅仅,勉强;几乎不;公开地;贫乏地;
Sometimes, I even fantasized about getting sick again. 有时我甚至幻想着 又一次生病。
fantasized:v.想象;幻想;做白日梦;(fantasize的过去分词和过去式)
And let me tell you, there are so many better things to fantasize about when you're in your twenties and recently single. 我想告诉你们, 在你二十多岁并单身时, 有更好的事物可以幻想。
(Laughter) （笑声）
But I missed the hospital's ecosystem . 但我怀念在医院的时环境。
ecosystem:n.生态系统;
Like me, everyone in there was broken. 那里的每一个人都 像我一样脆弱,
But out here, among the living, I felt like an impostor , overwhelmed and unable to function. 但在医院外的健康人群中, 我觉得自己像个冒名顶替者, 不知所措,无法正常运作。
impostor:n.骗子;冒充者; overwhelmed:v.受打击,压倒;淹没;(overwhelm的过去分词和过去式)
I also missed the sense of clarity I'd felt at my sickest. 我也怀念我病情 最严重时的清晰感。
clarity:n.清楚,明晰;透明;
Staring your mortality straight in the eye has a way of simplifying things, of rerouting your focus to what really matters. 直视自己的死亡让我 简化一切其他事物, 重新把注意力集中在 真正重要的事情上。
Staring:adj.凝视的,目不转睛的;显眼的;v.凝视;盯着看;显眼;(stare的现在分词) mortality:n.死亡数,死亡率;必死性,必死的命运; simplifying:v.简约,简化(simplify进行时形式); rerouting:n.重编路由;变更原定航线;v.改变旅程(rerout的ing形式);
And when I was sick, I vowed that if I survived, it had to be for something. 生病时,我发誓 如果活下来了, 我一定会为了 一个目标而活。
vowed:v.起誓;立誓;发誓;(vow的过去分词和过去式)
It had to be to live a good life, an adventurous life, a meaningful one. 这个目标是好好活着, 过上有冒险精神, 有意义的生活。
adventurous:adj.爱冒险的;大胆的;充满危险的; meaningful:adj.严肃的;重要的;重大的;意味深长的;
But the question, once I was cured, became: How? 但在我痊愈后, 问题变成了:怎么做？
I was 27 years old with no job, no partner, no structure . 我27岁,没工作, 没伴侣,没条理。
structure:n.结构;构造;建筑物;vt.组织;构成;建造;
And this time, I didn't have treatment protocols or discharge instructions to help guide my way forward. 这时,没有任何 治疗协议或医嘱 指导我前进。
protocols:n.协议; v.拟定议定书;
But what I did have was an in-box full of internet messages from strangers. 不过我有满满 一收件箱的信息, 来自陌生人。
in-box:n.邮件网站内的信箱;收件箱;
Over the years, people from all over the world had read my column, and they'd responded with letters, comments and emails. 多年来, 全世界的人们 读到我的专栏, 他们通过信件、 评论和邮件回应。
responded:v.回答,回应;作出反应;响应;反应灵敏;(respond的过去式和过去分词)
It was a mix, as is often the case, for writers. 那是个大杂烩,对作家 来说应该很常见。
I got a lot of unsolicited advice about how to cure my cancer with things like essential oils. 我得到了很多自发 而不靠谱的建议, 比如怎样用精油 治好我的癌症。
unsolicited:adj.未经请求的;主动提供的; essential:n.要点;要素;实质;必需品;adj.完全必要的;必不可少的;极其重要的;本质的;
I got some questions about my bra size. 还有些人问我 内衣码数。
bra:n.文胸,胸罩,(汽车前部的)活动罩
But mostly -- 但是 --
(Laughter) （笑声）
mostly, I heard from people who, in their own different way, understood what it was that I was going through. 总体来说,那些信息 都来自从不同角度 明白我正经历 什么样的痛苦的人们。
I heard from a teenage girl in Florida who, like me, was coming out of chemo and wrote me a message composed largely of emojis. 我收到一封来自 佛罗里达的信, 那个小女孩也 刚接受化疗, 她的信里有 很多表情贴。
composed:adj.由…组成的; v.组成; (compose的过去分词和过去式) largely:adv.主要地;大部分;大量地;
I heard from a retired art history professor in Ohio named Howard, who'd spent most of his life struggling with a mysterious , debilitating health condition that he'd had from the time he was a young man. 我还收到住在俄亥俄州, 退休艺术史教授霍华德的信, 从他年轻时起, 他一生都与一种罕见的, 令人虚弱的疾病抗争。
art history:n.艺术史; mysterious:adj.神秘的;不可思议的;难解的; debilitating:adj.使衰弱的;v.使虚弱(debilitate的ing形式);
I heard from an inmate on death row in Texas by the name of Little GQ -- short for " Gangster Quinn." 还有一封德州的 死囚的来信。 他署名是小GQ -- 是“奎因匪徒”的简称。
inmate:n.(尤指)同院病人;同狱犯人;同被(收容所)收容者; death row:n.死囚牢房;死囚区; by the name of:名叫;以…的名义; Gangster:n.歹徒,流氓;恶棍;
He'd never been sick a day in his life. 他一生从没真正病过。
He does 1,000 push-ups to start off each morning. 他每天早上 做1000个俯卧撑。
push-ups:n.俯卧撑;伏地挺身(pick-up的复数);
But he related to what I described in one column as my "incanceration," 但他对我在一次 专栏里所描述的 癌症关押“很有同感,
described:v.描述;形容;把…称为;做…运动;(describe的过去分词和过去式)
and to the experience of being confined to a tiny fluorescent room. 特别是被困在一个 没什么亮光的小房间里。
confined:adj.狭窄的; v.限制(confine的过去式和过去分词); fluorescent:adj.荧光的;萤光的;发亮的;n.荧光;日光灯;
'"I know that our situations are different," he wrote to me, "But the threat of death lurks in both of our shadows." “我知道我们处境 大不相同“,他写道, “但死亡的威胁都 潜伏在我们的影子中”。
lurks:v.潜伏;潜藏;埋伏;n.潜伏;埋伏;(lurk的第三人称单数和复数)
In those lonely first weeks and months of my recovery, these strangers and their words became lifelines , dispatches from people of so many different backgrounds, with so many different experiences, all showing me the same thing: you can be held hostage by the worst thing that's ever happened to you and allow it to hijack your remaining days, or you can find a way forward. 在刚开始恢复的 那孤独的几个月里, 这些陌生人的声音 成了我的生命线, 从无数经验、背景 完全不同的人 手中发出, 都说着的类似的话: 你可以被 你所遇到的 最坏的事困住, 让它劫持走 你余下的日子, 但你也可以 找办法前进。
lifelines:n.生命线(lifeline的复数形式);救生索(栏); dispatches:n.派遣;急件;vt.派遣;分派; hostage:n.人质;抵押品; hijack:v.抢劫;揩油;拦路抢劫;n.劫持;威逼;敲诈;
I knew I needed to make some kind of change. 我知道我需要改变。
I wanted to be in motion again to figure out how to unstuck myself and to get back out into the world. 我想重新振作起来, 找到走出困境的办法, 回到正常的世界。
motion:n.动作;移动;手势;请求;意向;议案;v.运动;打手势; unstuck:adj.松开的,未粘住的;紊乱的;失灵的;
And so I decided to go on a real journey -- not the bullshit cancer one or the mythical hero's journey that everyone thought I should be on, but a real, pack-your-bags kind of journey. 因此我决定踏上一次 真正的旅程 -- 不是可恶的癌症, 也不是那种人们认为我 应该经历的神秘英雄之旅, 而是真正的、 说走就走的旅行。
bullshit:v.胡说,哄骗;n.胡说;
I put everything I owned into storage, rented out my apartment, borrowed a car and talked a very a dear but somewhat smelly friend into joining me. 我把我的东西 放进储物间, 外租了我的公寓, 借了辆车, 说服了一位可爱 但臭烘烘的朋友 跟我一起出门。
somewhat:n.几分;某物;adv.有点;多少;几分;稍微; smelly:adj.有臭味的,发臭的;
(Laughter) （笑声）
Together, my dog Oscar and I embarked on a 15,000-mile road trip around the United States. 我和我的狗奥斯卡, 踏上了15000英里的 环美公路旅行。
embarked:v.上船;装船;(embark的过去式和过去分词) United:adj.联合的; v.联合,团结; (unite的过去分词和过去式)
Along the way, we visited some of those strangers who'd written to me. 路上,我们拜访了那些 写信给我的陌生人。
I needed their advice, also to say to them, thank you. 我需要他们的建议, 并想向他们说谢谢。
I went to Ohio and stayed with Howard, the retired professor. 我去了俄亥俄州的 退休教授霍华德家过夜。
When you've suffered a loss or a trauma, the impulse can be to guard your heart. 当我们遭受损失 或不幸时, 会有守卫自己 心灵的冲动。
impulse:n.冲动;[电子]脉冲;刺激;神经冲动;推动力;v.推动;
But Howard urged me to open myself up to uncertainty , to the possibilities of new love, new loss. 但霍华德鼓励着我 拥抱未知, 坦然接受新的爱与失。
uncertainty:n.不确定,不可靠;
Howard will never be cured of illness. 霍华德的病 从未被治好,
And as a young man, he had no way of predicting how long he'd live. 年轻时,他无法 预计自己还能活多久,
predicting:v.预言;预告;预报;(predict的现在分词)
But that didn't stop him from getting married. 但这没有阻止他 走进婚姻的殿堂。
Howard has grandkids now, and takes weekly ballroom dancing lessons with his wife. 他现在有几个孙子了, 每周还和妻子去 上舞蹈课。
grandkids:n.(外)孙;(外)孙女;(grandkid的复数) ballroom dancing:na.交际舞;
When I visited them, they’d recently celebrated their 50th anniversary. 我拜访他们时, 他们最近在庆祝 结婚50周年。
In his letter to me, he'd written, "Meaning is not found in the material realm; it's not in dinner, jazz, cocktails or conversation. 在给我的信里, 他写道, “意义不存在于 物质世界; 它不是晚餐,爵士乐, 鸡尾酒或谈话。
cocktails:n.鸡尾酒;凉菜;混合物;(cocktail的复数)
Meaning is what's left when everything else is stripped away." 意义是所有东西都 被除去后剩下的一切“。
stripped:adj.剥去的;v.剥夺;脱衣;把…剪成条状;(strip的过去式和过去分词)
I went to Texas, and I visited Little GQ on death row. 我去了德州, 拜访了死囚小GQ。
He asked me what I did to pass all that time 他问我是怎么度过 生病时在医院的
I'd spent in a hospital room. 时光的。
When I told him that I got really, really good at Scrabble , he said, "Me, too!" and explained how, even though he spends most of his days in solitary confinement , 我告诉他我变得很擅长 玩Scrabble文字游戏, 他说,“我也是！” 并向我展示, 即使他大部分时候 都被独自关押,
Scrabble:v.忙乱地找;翻找;乱抓;乱动;n.争夺;挣扎;奋斗; solitary confinement:n.单独监禁;单独禁闭;
he and his neighboring prisoners make board games out of paper and call out their plays through their meal slots -- a testament to the incredible tenacity of the human spirit and our ability to adapt with creativity. 他和他的邻居们 用纸做成桌上游戏, 通过他们的送餐口 发出游戏挑战 -- 这是人类顽强精神和 用创造力的适应环境 的证明。
neighboring:adj.邻近的;接壤的;v.邻近;使接近;位于…附近;(neighbor的现在分词) slots:n.插槽;老虎机(slot的复数); testament:n.[法]遗嘱;圣约;确实的证明; incredible:adj.难以置信的,惊人的; tenacity:n.韧性;固执;不屈不挠;黏性;
And my last stop was in Florida, to see that teenage girl who'd sent me all those emojis. 我的最后一站 是佛罗里达, 我去见了那位给我发了 很多表情贴的女孩。
Her name is Unique , which is perfect, because she's the most luminous , curious person I've ever met. 她的名字是尤妮克, （意译:独特的） 这太理想了,因为她是 我见过的最活泼好奇的人。
Unique:adj.独特的,稀罕的;[数]唯一的;n.独一无二的人或物; luminous:adj.发光的;明亮的;清楚的; curious:adj.好奇的,有求知欲的;古怪的;爱挑剔的;
I asked her what she wants to do next and she said, "I want to go to college and travel and eat weird foods like octopus that I've never tasted before and come visit you in New York and go camping, but I'm scared of bugs , but I still want to go camping." 我问她下一步想做什么, 她说, “我想上大学,旅行, 吃我从未尝过的奇怪的 食物,比如章鱼, 去纽约拜访你, 然后去露营, 虽然我很怕虫子, 但我还是想去露营”。
weird:adj.奇怪的;奇异的;离奇的;n.命运;宿命;命运女神; octopus:n.章鱼; bugs:n.缺陷;虫子;窃听器;(bug的复数)v.窃听;使烦恼;(bug的第三人称单数)
I was in awe of her, that she could be so optimistic and so full of plans for the future, given everything she'd been through. 我不禁对她 产生一丝敬畏, 她是如此乐观并 对未来如此期待, 即使她经历了那么多。
awe:vt.使敬畏;使畏怯;n.敬畏; optimistic:adj.乐观的;乐观主义的;
But as Unique showed me, it is far more radical and dangerous to have hope than to live hemmed in by fear. 但就像尤妮克 让我意识到的, 比起生活在 恐惧的阴影里, 希望是危险的。
radical:n.自由基;激进分子;游离基;adj.根本的;彻底的;完全的;全新的; hemmed:v.(给某物)缝边,镶边;(hem的过去分词和过去式)
But the most important thing I learned on that road trip is that the divide between the sick and the well -- it doesn't exist. 但我从那次公路旅行 学到的最重要的是, 病人和健康人的区别。 它是不存在的。
The border is porous . 他们的边界充满孔洞。
porous:adj.多孔渗水的;能渗透的;有气孔的;
As we live longer and longer, surviving illnesses and injuries that would have killed our grandparents, even our parents, the vast majority of us will travel back and forth between these realms , spending much of our lives somewhere between the two. 我们的平均寿命越来越长, 我们在那些可以夺取我们 祖父母,甚至父母生命的 疾病和伤害中活下来, 我们中的大多数人在 生病和健康状态之间转换, 生命大部分时间 都活在两者中间。
injuries:n.伤害,损伤;挫伤;(injury的复数) majority:n.大部分:大多数:多数票:成年人: back and forth:前后移动的,来回的,反复的; realms:n.领域(realm的复数);
These are the terms of our existence. 这些是我们 存在的术语。
Now, I wish I could say that since coming home from my road trip, 现在我想说的是, 那次旅行后,
I feel fully healed . 我觉得我完全康复了。
healed:v.(使)康复,复原;治愈(病人);(使)结束;(heal的过去分词和过去式)
I don't. 其实我没有。
But once I stopped expecting myself to return to the person I'd been pre-diagnosis, once I learned to accept my body and its limitations , 但是我一旦 停止希望自己 重新成为被诊断出 白血病前的那个自己, 一旦我学会接受 我的身体和它的极限,
limitations:n.局限性;(限制)因素;边界(limitation的复数形式);
I actually did start to feel better. 我的确感觉更好了。
And in the end, I think that's the trick: to stop seeing our health as binary , between sick and healthy, well and unwell , whole and broken; to stop thinking that there's some beautiful, perfect state of wellness to strive for; 最后,我想 窍门应该是: 不再把我们的健康状况 看成由两部分组成, 健康和有疾病的, 好和不好的, 完整和有缺陷的; 不再认为有一个 完美的健康状况 是我们可以达到的;
binary:adj.[数]二进制的;二元的,二态的; unwell:adj.不舒服的;生病的; wellness:n.健康; strive:v.力求;斗争;反抗;(strive的第三人称单数)
and to quit living in a state of constant dissatisfaction until we reach it. 不要再活在一个 不达到目标就总是不满 的状态下。
quit:v.离开;放弃;停止;使…解除;n.离开;[计]退出;adj.摆脱了…的;已经了结的; dissatisfaction:n.不满;令人不满的事物;
Every single one of us will have our life interrupted, whether it's by the rip cord of a diagnosis or some other kind of heartbreak or trauma that brings us to the floor. 我们每一个人都会 有生活被打乱的时候, 无论那是一张诊断书, 还是别的令人心碎、 精神崩溃的事,
cord:n.(结实的)粗线,细绳;灯芯绒裤子;v.用索子捆[绑,扎];堆积(柴薪) heartbreak:n.心碎;伤心事;
We need to find ways to live in the in-between place, managing whatever body and mind we currently have. 我们需要找到一个在 两种状态中间活着的办法, 保持当下的身体和心态。
in-between:n.中间人;中间存在者;局中的物体;adj.中间的; currently:adv.当前;一般地;
Sometimes, all it takes is the ingenuity of a handmade game of Scrabble or finding that stripped-down kind of meaning in the love of family and a night on the ballroom dance floor , or that radical, dangerous hope 有时,这需要的只是手工制作 Scrabble的心灵手巧, 或只是简简单单的 家庭给予的爱, 亦或是夜晚在舞厅 翩翩起舞, 甚至是那危险的,
ingenuity:n.心灵手巧,独创性;精巧;精巧的装置; handmade:adj.手工的;手制的; stripped-down:无装饰的;简装的; dance floor:n.(旅馆、餐厅等供客人跳舞的)舞场;
that I'm guessing will someday lead a teenage girl terrified of bugs to go camping. 我猜测,有一天会让那个 怕虫子的小女孩去露营 的希望。
If you're able to do that, then you've taken the real hero's journey. 如果你能够 做到这一点, 你就已经踏上了 真正的英雄之旅。
You've achieved what it means to actually be well, which is to say: alive, in the messiest , richest, most whole sense. 你已经达到了 健康的真正目的, 也就是:在最混乱,最丰富, 一切最完整的感觉中活着。
messiest:不整洁的;肮脏的;棘手的;混乱的(messy的最高级);
Thank you, that's all I've got. 这就是我想分享 的全部了,谢谢。
(Applause) （掌声）
Thank you. 谢谢。
(Applause) （掌声）