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SimonSinek_2021H-_要如何在困难的时刻找到你的「为什么」_
Chris Anderson: Simon, I'll start us off by saying, I mean, here we are, look, after a year of the pandemic , probably one of the most extraordinary experiences any of us have had. 克里斯安德森:赛门, 开头我想先说,我们来到了 疫情爆发的一年后,这很可能 是我们所有人所经历过 最不凡的经历之一。
What do you think the unexpected psychological carryovers might be? 依你所见,可能会有什么未预期的心理后遗症？
I mean, do you think we've kind of -- 你是否认为我们会——
Part of me thinks that people have got more fragile , that it's almost like there's a sort of learned timidity . 部分的我认为大家变得更脆弱了, 就好像有某种习得的胆怯。
pandemic:adj.(疾病等)全国流行的;普遍的;n.流行性疾病; extraordinary:adj.非凡的;特别的;离奇的;临时的;特派的; unexpected:adj.意外的,想不到的; psychological:adj.心理的;心理学的;精神上的; carryovers:n.结转;拎携带;带出;(carryover的复数) fragile:adj.脆的;易碎的; timidity:n.胆怯,胆小;羞怯;
Have you seen any evidence of that or how would you characterize it? 你是否有发现相关的证据, 或者你会怎么描述？
Simon Sinek: I think we've definitely all become much more aware of mental health. 赛门西奈克:我想,大家绝对 都变得更注意心理健康。
And that it's a real thing and that mental health affects strong and healthy people. 心理健康是真的存在, 就连坚强、健康的人 也会受到心理健康影响。
evidence:n.证据,证明;迹象;明显;v.证明; characterize:v.描述;是…的特征;以…为典型;使…具有特点(或最引人注目的特征); definitely:adv.清楚地,当然;明确地,肯定地; mental:adj.精神的;脑力的;疯的;n.精神病患者;
We all suffered trauma during COVID. 在 COVID-19 期间 我们都受到了创伤。
Some of us dealt with it earlier, some of us dealt with it later, some of us are still dealing with it, but nobody escapes it. 有些人比较早去处理, 有些人比较晚, 有些人还在处理,但没有人逃得过。
When COVID first started, you know, many of us had to pivot our organizations , had to pivot our businesses very quickly. COVID-19 刚出现时, 很多人得要把组织做转变, 得要很快地把企業做转变。
trauma:n.[外科]创伤(由心理创伤造成精神上的异常);外伤; pivot:n.枢轴; vt.以…为中心旋转; vi.在枢轴上转动; adj.枢轴的; organizations:n.组织,构造,有机体(organization的复数);组织机构;
And so I, like many others, we went into mission mode. 我和很多其他人一样, 进入了任务模式。
And I called a friend of mine who is active-duty military . 我打电话给一个现役军人朋友。
And I asked him a very simple question, how do I compartmentalize my emotions so that I can stay focused on the mission? 我问他一个很简单的问题: 我要如何把情绪切割开来, 好专注在任务上？
mission:n.使命,任务;代表团;布道;v.派遣;向…传教; military:adj.军事的;军人的;适于战争的;n.军队;军人; compartmentalize:vt.划分,区分; emotions:n.强烈的感情;激情;情感;(emotion的复数)
And he gave me a very stern warning. 他给了我严厉的警告。
He said, you can't. 他说,不可能。
He said, we can compartmentalize our emotions for only a short period of time, but no one, no one escapes the trauma of combat . 他说,我们只能在短时间内 切割我们的情绪, 但没有人,没有人能够 躲得过战斗的创伤。
And he said, you may not even experience the trauma while you're in it, you may not experience it when you first come home, you may experience it months later. 他说,你在战斗的同时 可能根本不会感受到创伤, 刚回家时也许也不会, 可能要几个月后才会。 他返家后四、五个月才感受到。
stern:n.船尾;末端;adj.严厉的;坚定的; combat:v.战斗;防止;减轻;与…搏斗;n.战斗;搏斗;打仗;
He says, I experience it four or five months after I get home. 于是我马上挂了电话,
So immediately I hung up the phone and called all my A-type personality friends and said, OK, we think we're good, but we're going to get hit by this at some point. 打给我所有的 A 型人格朋友, 打给我所有的 A 型人格朋友, 说:好,我们认为我们没事, 但我们迟早都会面临创伤。
And we made a deal that when we started to feel off our game, we would call each other. 我们做了约定,当我们 开始觉得状况不佳时, 我们可以打给彼此。
Safe space. 安全空间。
And we made another deal that there would be no crying alone. 我们还做了一个约定, 不可以独自哭泣。
personality:n.性格;个性;人格;魅力;气质;名人;特色;
That if you had to cry, you picked up the phone and you called somebody. 如果你想哭,拿起电话打给某个人。
Well, about four or five months into COVID, 疫情开始四、五个月左右,
I started to feel off my game and I didn't know what was going on. 我开始感到状况不佳, 我不知道是怎么回事。
And so I called that same friend in the military and I asked no leading questions. 于是我又打给那位军队中的朋友, 我完全不问引导性的问题。 我就只是问他:
I simply asked him, tell me what your symptoms are when you suffer the trauma when you come home from combat. 告诉我,你从战场返家后, 受创伤所苦时的症状是什么？
And he said, well, number one, he falls out of his sleep pattern. 他说,第一,他的睡眠模式被打乱。
He said he starts going to bed late for no reason and doesn't want to get up in the morning. 他开始无缘无故就会晚上床, 早上也不想起床。
And I thought to myself, yep. 我想想自己,正是如此。
symptoms:n.症状;征候;征兆;(symptom的复数)
He says he has some unproductive days and he comes up with an excuse like, "It's OK, you know, you deserve a rest. It's fine." 他说,有时他很没有生产力, 他会找藉口,比如: 「没关系的,休息是你应得的,不要紧。」
But then he has another and another and another. 但这种事却一再发生。
And I thought to myself, yep. 我想想自己,正是如此。
And he said he becomes very antisocial where he doesn't want to ask for help and he definitely doesn't want to talk to anybody. 他说,他变得非常不想社交, 不想寻求协助, 完全不想和任何人说话。
unproductive:adj.非生产性的;徒劳的;不毛的;不生产的; deserve:vi.应受,应得; antisocial:adj.反社会的;扰乱社会的;不爱交际的;n.违背社会公德的人;反社会者;
And I thought to myself, yep. 我想想自己,正是如此。
And I realized what I was going through was trauma. 我明白了我所遇到的状况就是创伤。
And I was afraid to use the D-word, depression , for fear that that was some sort of diagnosis . 但我不敢说出「忧」 开头的那个词,忧郁, 害怕那算是某种诊断。
I think a lot of people are afraid of that word, but that's exactly what I was going through. 我想有很多人都会怕那个词, 但那正是我的经历。
I was going through lowercase “D” depression. 我正在经历 非专有名词的「忧郁」。
And I followed the rule that we set with our friends and I called people. 我也遵守了我和朋友订下的规则, 打电话给别人。
depression:n.沮丧;洼地;不景气;忧愁; diagnosis:n.诊断; lowercase:n.小写字母;小写字体;adj.小写字体的;vt.用小写字体书写;
Because one of the things I asked my friend is like, how do you overcome it? 因为我问我朋友: 你怎么克服这个问题？
He said, you have to force yourself back into a sleep pattern and force yourself to call friends and ask for help. 他说,你得强迫自己回到睡眠模式, 并强迫自己打电话向朋友求助。
And so I think one of the things, 所以,我认为……
I think that comes out of COVID, is we recognized just the importance of human connection. 我认为疫情带来的其中一个影响, 是我们了解到 人与人连结的重要性。
overcome:vt.克服;胜过;vi.克服;得胜; recognized:v.认识;认出;辨别出;承认;意识到;(recognize的过去分词和过去式)
You know, in this fast-paced digital world, we kidded ourselves to think that we had connections just because we were connected. 在这个快步调的数位世界里, 我们骗自己去想,我们连结 在一起就表示我们有关系。 但,惊人的是, 当疫情开始时就可以看到,
But it was amazing to see when COVID started, regardless of someone's age or a technological competency , we all picked up the phone. 但,惊人的是, 当疫情开始时就可以看到, 不论年龄或科技能力, 我们都拿起了电话。
Like, young people were talking to each other. 连年轻人都在和彼此说话。
fast-paced:adj.快节奏的;快速的;快步调的; digital:adj.数字的;手指的;n.数字;键; regardless:adj.不管的; v.不顾后果地; technological:adj.技术[工程](上)的;因工艺技术高度发展而引起的; competency:n.能力(等于competence);资格;
And I think that intense craving for a human voice and human touch, 那种对人声和人情味的强烈渴望,
I think we were reminded just how fragile we are as human beings. 我想,疫情提醒了我们, 身为人类我们有多么脆弱。
CA: That phrase you've mentioned, "no crying alone," that's powerful. 克:你刚才提到「不可以独自哭泣」, 这句话很强大。
I mean, forgive me asking, did you cry with someone? 你有没有……容我请问, 你有没有找别人陪你哭泣？
intense:adj.强烈的;紧张的;非常的;热情的; craving:n.渴望;热望;v.渴望;恳求;(crave的现在分词); reminded:v.提醒;使想起;(remind的过去分词和过去式) forgive:v.原谅;免除(债务,义务等);
SS: Yes. 赛:有。
I followed my own counsel to my friends. 我有遵守我自己给朋友的忠告。
And when I had to cry, when I was overwhelmed , 当我得哭出来时,当我无法招架时,
I picked up the phone and I just cried. 我就是拿起电话,让自己哭出来。
And I had friends call me and do the same. 我的朋友也会打给我,做一样的事。
CA: And there was healing in that. 克:那是有疗愈作用的。[04:24]
counsel:n.劝告,忠告,建议;法律顾问;律师;vt.提供专业咨询;建议,劝告(做某事) overwhelmed:v.受打击,压倒;淹没;(overwhelm的过去分词和过去式) healing:n.康复; adj.痊愈中的; v.(使)康复,复原; (heal的现在分词)
SS: The most important thing that came from it was that we didn't -- none of us felt alone. 赛:这个做法所带来最重要的影响是…… 没有人感到自己是孤身一个人的。
And there's intense safety. 而且会让人有很强的安全感。
That amazing sense of safety that we all desire as human beings. 那是我们人类都渴望的神奇安全感。
You know, you can't feel safe when you're vulnerable , like, that's when we need it the most. 当你很脆弱时就无法感到安全, 但那却是最需要安全感的时刻。
But you have to build those relationships. 但你得去建立那些关系。
You build those relationships in the happy times, the good times, where you think you're strong, you think you're great. 你会在美满、顺利的时候建立关系, 在你感到强壮、出色的时候。
It's very hard to start building those relationships in the moment of crisis . 在发生危机的时候 很难开始建立这些关系。
vulnerable:adj.易受攻击的,易受…的攻击;易受伤害的;有弱点的; crisis:n.危机;危险期;决定性时刻;adj.危机的;用于处理危机的;
And I think it's a lesson for leadership, quite frankly. 老实说,我认为这可以教我们 和领导力有关的一课。
Which is, you can't judge the quality of a crew by how a ship performs in calm waters. 船航行在风平浪静的海面上时, 无法判断船员的素质如何。
You judge the quality of a crew by how a ship performs in rough waters. 波涛汹涌时才能判断 船员的素质如何。
But the time in calm waters is when you're building relationship and trust and you don't really actually know if you have trusting relationships and trusting teams and loving relationships until the crisis strikes. 但风平浪静的时候 才是建立关系和信任感的时候, 且你其实无法真正知道你是否有可信任的关系、 可信任的团队、友爱的关系, 危机来袭时才能见真章。
performs:v.执行;表演;演出;履行(perform的第三人称单数)
And I heard this from a lot of people: 我听过很多人这样说:
When COVID happened, they commented on how they realized who their real friends were. 疫情发生时, 他们说,他们这才知道 谁是他们真正的朋友。
Some people kind of fell by the wayside , it was nothing personal. 有些人就没再联络, 不是因为他这个人怎么样,
It's just like, we didn't call each other and we're still, you know, weren't angry or anything. 只是我们都没打给彼此, 我们也……没有生气或什么的。
And there are some people who came out of the woodwork to check in on us and those friendships flourished . 有些人反而就冒出来, 确认我们好不好, 那些友情就升华了。
wayside:n.路旁;adj.路旁的; woodwork:n.木制品;木工活; flourished:v.繁荣;昌盛;兴旺;茁壮成长;(flourish的过去式和过去分词)
And that's what I mean. 那就是我的意思。
It takes hardship for those friendships and that trust to really bear fruit. 要经过考验,那些友谊和信任感才会真正开花结果
But that's why we have to invest in people when we're doing well and we don't think we need anybody. 那就是为什么经营关系应该要是在 我们过得很好且自认 不需要别人的时刻。
And I think we forget that. 我想我们忘了这一点。
CA: What would you say to someone who has realized that they're in this moment, what's been a really difficult year, and they actually don't feel that there's someone they could, for example, pick up the phone and cry with? 克:你有什么话可以告诉 发现自己处在这种时刻的人, 今年十分辛苦,而他们实在……没有人可以, 比如, 让他们打电话过去哭诉？
hardship:n.艰难;困苦;拮据; invest:v.投资;(把资金)投入;投入(时间、精力等);授予;
Is it hopeless for them until this passes? 他们就没有希望,只能等疫情过去？
Or what would you say to them? 或,你会对他们说什么？
SS: There is an irony . 赛:很讽刺,
There's an irony in when we need help. 我们 需要协助的时机很讽刺。
And when I was writing the book "Leaders Eat Last," 我在写《最后吃,才是真领导》时,
I had the opportunity to spend some time with and visit Alcoholics Anonymous . 我有榮幸能拜访匿名戒酒会, 和他们渡过一些时光。
irony:n.讽刺;反语;具有讽刺意味的事;adj.铁的;似铁的; Alcoholics Anonymous:n.匿名戒酒会(1935年成立于芝加哥的国际组织,成员不用全名);
And it is a remarkable organization. 那是个很了不起的组织。
And many of us are familiar with the 12-step program. 很多人都知道戒酒的十二步骤。
And many of us are familiar with the first step, which is admitting you have a problem. 很多人都知道第一步, 就是承认自己有困难。
But then it's the other 11 steps that also matter. 但另外十一步也很重要。
remarkable:adj.卓越的;非凡的;值得注意的; familiar:adj.熟悉的;常见的;亲近的;n.常客;密友;
And Alcoholics Anonymous knows that if you master the first 11 steps, but not the 12th, you are likely to succumb to the disease . 匿名戒酒会知道, 如果你能精通前十一步, 却漏了第十二步, 你很可能会被这疾病打垮。
But if you master the 12 steps, you're more likely to overcome the disease. 但如果你精通了十二步骤, 你很可能可以克服这疾病。
That 12th step is to help another alcoholic. 第十二步就是去协助另一名酗酒者。
It's service. 是服务他人。
And so there's a great irony when we need help to actually help someone who's struggling with the same thing as us. 很讽刺的是当我们需要协助时, 其实应该要去协助 和我们陷入同样困境的人。[07:09]
succumb:vi.屈服;死;被压垮; disease:n.病,[医]疾病;弊病;vt.传染;使…有病;
And it is the most healing thing we can do. 这是我们能做出最疗愈的事。
So, you know, if we need someone to cry with, it's to offer the shoulder for somebody else to cry with. 如果我们需要找个肩膀靠着哭, 就要把肩膀让别人靠着哭。
If we're feeling lonely, it's to be there for someone else who's struggling with loneliness. 如果我们觉得寂寞, 就要去陪伴也因为寂寞而苦的人。
And this goes way beyond these subjects, which is if we're looking for love to help somebody else find love, if we're looking for the job we love, to help somebody else find the job that they love. 这个做法的应用远超过这些主题, 如果我们在寻找爱, 就去幫别人找到爱。 如果我们在找热爱的工作, 就去幫别人找到他们热爱的工作。
And there's tremendous value in service. 服务他人的价值非常高。
And you hear about these things all the time, you talk to people why they chose to go in the profession they went into, especially if they're in the service profession, let's say somebody is a counselor for trauma. 你常常会听到这种事。 去问别人,他们为何 选择进入现在的职業, 假设某人是创伤的谘询专家。
tremendous:adj.极大的,巨大的;惊人的;极好的; profession:n.行业,职业;业内人士;同行; especially:adv.尤其;特别;格外;十分;
And you say, why did you go into this profession? 你问他:为什么进入这一行？
'"When I was younger, I suffered a trauma, and somebody was there to counsel me and I decided I wanted to commit my life to doing that for others." 对方说:「我年轻时受过创伤, 那时有别人来辅导我, 所以我决定要投入 为他人做同样的事。
This is what happens with service. 这就是服务他人的结果。
And we forget, just because we live in a modern world, we're actually a very old-fashioned machine. 因为住在现代的世界里,我们忘了 我们其实是非常老式的机器。
The human animal is a legacy machine living in a modern world. 人类这种动物是住在 现代世界的陈旧机器。
commit:v.犯(罪等);干(坏事等);[法]提(审);判处; old-fashioned:adj.老式的;过时的;守旧的; legacy:n.遗赠,遗产;
And we still work the same way we used to. 我们还在用老方式。
And we desperately need each other to survive and thrive as much as we did when we were living in huts in small tribes of 150 people. 我们非常需要彼此,才能生存、 程度并不少于我们住在茅草屋, 整个部落只有一百五十个人的年代。
And so service service is the thing. 所以要做的就是服务他人。
CA: That sounds like, even for someone who's not feeling, like, depressed or at the edge right now, but a good checklist-question to ask is, is there someone I could reach out to actually, 克:听起来,就算某人并不觉得 忧郁或者正处在崩溃边缘, 仍然可以问个确认问题: 我能不能协助谁？
desperately:adv.拼命地;绝望地;不顾一切地;极度地; thrive:v.繁荣;茁壮成长;蓬勃发展;兴旺发达; huts:n.小屋;临时营房;vt.使住在小屋中;驻扎;vi.住在小屋中;驻扎; depressed:adj.沮丧的; v.使抑郁; (depress的过去式和过去分词)
there maybe other people who are in a much worse situation and maybe there is a call I could make that would be incredibly valuable to that person and help build a relationship with future? 可能有些人的情况更糟糕许多, 也许我可以打一通电话, 可能会非常…… 对那个人会很有价值, 且能协助建立未来关系。
SS: "Are you OK?" "How are you? 赛:「你没事吧？」「你好吗？」
You know, a friend of mine, George Flynn, he says his test for a leader is if they ask you how you're doing, they actually care about the answer. 我的朋友,乔治佛林, 他说,他这样测试领导者:如果领导者问你「你好吗」, 他们会真的在乎你的回答。
incredibly:adv.难以置信地;非常地; valuable:adj.有价值的;贵重的;可估价的;n.贵重物品;
And I really like that. 我觉得很棒。
CA: OK, I could talk with you for hours about this, but we're going to go to some questions now. 克:这个话题我可以 跟你一直谈下去, 但提问时间到了。
So here's a question from Kayum. 这是凯亚姆的问题。
'"If there is no way to get back to normal," as you said, "then are we on the right path of building new normal already? 「如果不可能回到正常生活」, 如你所言, 「那,我们是否已经走上了 建立新『正常』的道路？
Or can you help us with a blueprint that new normal should be based on?" 或者你能否告诉我们,新『正常』 应该以什么样的蓝图为基础？」
SS: So blueprint? No. 赛:提供蓝图？没办法。
Guidances? Yes. 引导？可以。
I think that humanity has to be -- 我想,人必须要——
We have to remember that humanity matters. 我们必须要切记人的重要性。[09:25]
blueprint:vt.计划;制成蓝图;n.蓝图,设计图;计划; humanity:n.人类;人道;仁慈;人文学科;
And when I say humanity, I don't mean big-H Humanity, 我所谓的人,不是指人类,
I mean little-H humanity, our humanity. 我指的是人性,我们的人性。
When COVID first happened, so many leaders leaned on their humanity, whether they were effective or ineffective leaders prior to COVID, many of them picked up the phone and said, "Are you OK?" 疫情刚爆发时, 好多领导人都展现了他们的人性, 不论在疫情之前他们是 有能或无能的领导者, 许多人拿起电话, 说:「你还好吗？」
They called their teams just to check in on them. 打给团队,确认他们好不好。
Or they called their friends to say, "Are you OK? How are you?" 或者打给朋友,说: 「你没事吧？你好吗？」
Well, we don't need a global pandemic to do that. 我们不需要等到全球 疫情爆发才这么做。
leaned:v.前俯后仰;倾斜;倚靠;使斜靠;(lean的过去分词和过去式) ineffective:adj.无效的,失效的;不起作用的; prior:adj.先前的; n.(小隐修院)院长; v.居先; global:adj.全球的;总体的;球形的;
That's called good leadership and we should be doing that all the time. 那叫做「好的领导」, 我们随时都该这么做。
And we should be encouraging those in our charge to do the same for those in their charge. 我们应该要鼓励我们旗下的人, 也要这样去关心他们旗下的人。
You know, the hierarchy can still be effective that way. 阶级制度在那方面应该派得上用场。
I hope that remains. 我希望这一点能持续。
I hope that remains. 我希望这一点能持续。
I hope the use of the telephone remains. 我希望大家能持续使用电话。
That we don't just go back to texting all the time. 希望我们不再回到总是不断发讯息。[10:11]
hierarchy:n.层级;等级制度;
I hope that putting our phones away and having family dinner remains. 我希望把电话摆到一边去,
I think there's a lot of kids that will actually come through this with stronger relationships with their siblings if they have them, and stronger relationship with their parents because they had so much time together. 我想,有许多孩子 在经过这次疫情之后, 和手足 （如果有的话）的关系会更坚固, 和父母的关系也会更坚固, 因为他们有好多时间相处。
And kids who may have struggled prior because they weren't getting the kind of attention they needed because their parents were so busy with work, you know, even if mom or dad are busy on a Zoom call all day, 有些孩子在疫情之前可能苦于 无法得到他们需要的注意力, 因为他们的父母忙着工作, 就算爸爸或妈妈整天都忙着视讯,
siblings:n.兄;弟;姐;妹;(sibling的复数) struggled:v.奋斗;努力;争取;艰难地行进;抗争;(struggle的过去式和过去分词)
that hour that they would ordinarily just go get a cup of coffee or something, that they could focus on their kid. 至少他们可以用原本会去 买杯咖啡的那一小时 专注在孩子身上。
I think a lot of kids actually will come out of this. 我想很多孩子会渡过这一关。
And kids are remarkably adaptable . 孩子的适应力超强。
They're remarkably adaptable. 他们非常能适应。
CA: Here's a question from Mariusz. 克:接着是马里伍兹的问题。[10:59]
ordinarily:adv.通常地;一般地; remarkably:adv.非常;极为;格外;出乎意料地 adaptable:adj.适合的;能适应的;可修改的;
'"Could you give us some tips on how to discover our Why?" 「你能不能透露点密技,
SS: Absolutely . 赛:当然可以。
I'll give you a little exercise that you can do with your friends. 我教你一个 可以找朋友一起做的练习。
It's called the Friends Exercise. 叫做「朋友练习」。
Find a friend you love and who loves you. 找和你互相关心的朋友来做。[11:12]
tips:n.尖端; v.(使)倾斜,翻覆; (tip的第三人称单数和复数) Absolutely:adv.绝对地;完全地;
The person who, if they called you at three o'clock in the morning, you take the call and you know they would do the same for you. 要找的人是,如果他们 半夜三点打电话给你, 你会接起电话,且你知道 他们同样也会这样对你。
Do not do this with a sibling or a spouse . 这个练习的对象 不可以是手足或配偶,
Do not do this with a parent. 不可以是家长。
Those relationships are too close. 那些关系太过密切。
Do it with a best friend. 找最好的朋友来做。
And go up to them and ask the simple question, "Why are we friends?" 去找他们,问这个简单的问题: 「我们为什么是朋友？」[11:28]
spouse:n.配偶;vt.和…结婚;
And they're going to look at you like you're crazy because you're asking them to put into words a feeling. 他们会把你当疯子般看着你, 因为你要求他们 把感觉用言语说出来。
You're asking them to use a part of the brain, the neocortex , that doesn't control feelings, and to put the thing that exists in the limbic brain into language, which it doesn't do. 你要求他们用大脑中的新皮质, 那是无法控制感觉的区域, 把存在于大脑边缘的感觉 用语言说出来, 这不是它的功能。
And so it's actually a very difficult question. 所以这个问题其实很困难。
They're going to say, "I don't know." 他们会说:「我不知道。」
It's not that they don't know, it's that they can't put it into words. 他们不是不知道, 是说不出来。讽刺的是,
Ironically , you stop asking the question why and you start asking the question, "what" because "what" is a rational question. 你要停止问「为什么」, 开始问「什么」。 因为「什么」是理性的问题。[11:54]
neocortex:n.新(大脑)皮质; limbic:adj.边的;缘的; Ironically:adv.讽刺地;说反话地; rational:n.理性;人类;合理的事物;[数]有理数;adj.合理的;理性的;明智的;理智的;
'"What is it about me that I know that you would be there for me no matter what ?" 「我有什么特质,让我能肯定 不论发生什么事你都会挺我？」
And they won't know how to answer it. 他们不会知道如何回答。
They'll start describing you. 他们会开始描述你。
'"I don't know, you're funny, I trust you. 「我不知道,你很有趣,
You've always been there for me." 我信任你,你总是在我身边。」[12:10]
no matter what:不管什么…; describing:v.描述;形容;把…称为;做…运动;(describe的现在分词)
You play devil's advocate. 你要唱反调。
'"Good. That's the definition of a friend. 「很好,那就是朋友的定义。
What specifically is it about me that I know you'd be there for me no matter what?" 『我』到底有什么特质, 让我确定你不论如何都会挺我？」
And they'll continue to do the same. 他们会继续下去。 他们会尝试描述你。
They'll keep trying to describe you. You keep playing devil's advocate. 你就继续唱反调: 那是好朋友的定义。你懂的。
definition:n.定义;清晰度;(尤指词典里的词或短语的)释义;解释; specifically:adv.特别地;明确地; describe:v.描述;形容;把…称为;画出…图形;
You get the idea. 最终,他们会放弃,
Eventually they'll give up and they'll start describing themselves. 最终,他们会放弃, 他们会开始描述他们自己。
And they'll say, and this is what my friend said to me when I did it with them, "I don't know, Simon. I don't even have to talk to you.
I could just sit in the same room as you and I feel inspired ."
And I got goosebumps , I'm getting them right now.
They will articulate the value you have in their life and you will have some sort of emotional response , goosebumps or you'll well up, because what they're telling you is your Why, your Why is the thing you give to the world. 而你会产生情绪反应, 鸡皮疙瘩或情绪满满, 因为他们说出你的「为什么」, 也就是你给世界的东西。[12:42]
Eventually:adv.最后,终于; inspired:adj.受到启发的; v.鼓舞; (inspire的过去分词和过去式) goosebumps:n.鸡皮疙瘩; articulate:vt.清晰地发(音); vi.发音; adj.发音清晰的; emotional:adj.情绪的;易激动的;感动人的; response:n.响应;反应;回答;
You can do this with multiple friends and they will say almost exactly, if not the exact same thing, because that is your Why. 他们说的就算不同也会大同小异, 因为那就是你的「为什么」, 是你给世界的东西。
That is the thing you give to the world. 你不见得会听到明确的字句,
So it may not give you exact language, but it will put you squarely in the ballpark for what your Why is. 但你就能大致上知道 你的「为什么」是什么。
CA: Here's an anonymous question. 克:接着是个匿名者问的问题。
multiple:adj.数量多的;多种多样的;n.倍数; squarely:adv.直角地;诚实地;正好;干脆地;正当地; ballpark:n.(美)棒球场;活动领域;可变通范围;adj.大约的;
'"I have a friend who is currently struggling with depression, and he's just not like he used to be. 「我有个朋友, 目前正受忧郁症所苦, 他和以前判若两人。
I don't know what to say to him. 我不知道该对他说什么。
He's actually annoyed by the question, 'How are you doing?' 他其实 很讨厌别人问他『你还好吗？』,
How can I offer my help?" 我能怎么幫他？」
SS: So one of the things I learned by accident a couple of years ago is sometimes statements work better than questions. 赛:我几年前意外学到的是, 有时陈述会比询问更有效。[13:21]
currently:adv.当前;一般地; annoyed:adj.恼怒;生气;烦恼;v.使恼怒;使生气;打扰;骚扰(annoy的过去分词和过去式) statements:n.说明; v.(英国)对儿童进行特殊教育评估认定; (statement的第三人称单数和复数)
Because questions people can avoid, right? 因为问题是可以闪避的。
This is what we all did during COVID. 我们在疫情中都会问「你好吗？」
'"How are you?" "Fine. Fine." Everyone's fine, right? 「你好吗？」「很好。」 大家都很好,对吧？
And then what do you do with that? 这样你还能怎么办？
And so try making a statement, right? 所以,试着改用陈述句。
Something's wrong. 有点不对劲。
Something's different. 有点不一样。
You're not the same. 你不一样了。
I'm worried about you. 我很担心你。
Make statements. 用陈述句。
And it leaves very little room for somebody to divert the conversation. 这样就几乎让对方没有空间
You're not the person I know. 你不是我认识的那个人。
And do it with love and empathy and the most important thing, don't show up to solve the problem. 说的时候要带着爱和同理心, 最重要的是,不要一出现 就想解决问题。
Especially when you're starting to have a difficult conversation, you don't show up to solve the problem. 特别是要开始进行 很不容易的谈话时, 别去解决问题, 你要做的是创造一个环境,
divert:v.使转向;使绕道;转移;使分心;娱乐; empathy:n.神入;移情作用;执着;
You show up to create an environment in which they'd be willing to open up to you.
That's the only goal.
So try a statement instead of a question. 试着用陈述取代询问。
CA: So here's the last question, I'm going to ask this for me. 克:最后一个问题, 是我自己想问的。
What do you mean, Simon, when you say that everyone is a leader? 赛门,你说人人都是领袖, 这是什么意思？
SS: Leadership has nothing to do with rank or title. 赛:领导力和地位或身分无关。
I know many people who sit at the highest levels of organizations who are not leaders. 我认识很多在组织里坐到 最高位的人,他们却不是领袖。
We do as they tell us because they have authority over us, but we don't trust them and we wouldn't follow them. 我们照他们的话做, 是因为他们的职权比较高。 但我们不信任他们, 也不会追随他们。
And yet I also know many people who sit at very low levels of organizations that have no formal rank and no formal authority, and yet they've made the choice to look after the person to the left of them and the person to the right of them, and we would trust them and follow them anywhere. 但我也认识很多在组织里 位置非常低的人, 他们没有正职的地位或职权。 但,他们选择去照顾 他们左边的人以及右边的人, 而我们信任他们, 追随他们到天涯海角。 领导力是种责任,要协助 身边的人向上爬并照顾他们。
authority:n.权威;权力;当局; formal:adj.适合正式场合的; n.(美)须穿礼服的社交集会; (口)夜礼服;
Leadership is the responsibility to see those around us rise.
It's the responsibility to take care of those around us. 那是领导力的真缔。
That's what leadership is. 重点不是掌管。
It's not about being in charge. 重点是照顾被我们掌管的人。
It's about taking care of those in our charge.
And the only thing title and authority allow you to do is lead with greater scale . 身分和职权只是让你 在更大的格局下领导。
Every single one of us has the opportunity to be the leader we wish we had. 每一个人都有机会可以扮演 我们希望自己拥有的领袖。
Every single one of us. 每一个人都有。
CA: Simon, thank you so much for spending this time with us. 克:赛门,非常谢谢你 腾出时间给我们。
scale:n.规模;比例;鳞;刻度;天平;数值范围;v.衡量;攀登;剥落;生水垢;
SS: Thanks, Chris. I really appreciate it. 赛:谢谢,克里斯。 好好照顾自己。好好照顾彼此。
Take care of yourself. Take care of each other.
[Get access to thought-provoking events you won't want to miss. 〔别错过发人深省的活动。
appreciate:v.欣赏;感激;感谢;理解; thought-provoking:adj.发人深省的;引起思考的;