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ShakaSenghor_2014-_过错不能定义你的人生_
Twenty-three years ago, at the age of 19, 23 年前, 在我 19 岁的时候,
I shot and killed a man. 我开枪杀了一个人。
I was a young drug dealer with a quick temper and a semi-automatic pistol . 当时我是新手毒贩, 个性很急, 身上还带把半自动手枪。
drug dealer:n.毒品贩子; temper:n.脾气;情绪;心情;性情;v.使缓和;使温和;使(金属)回火; semi-automatic:adj.半自动的; pistol:n.手枪;v.用手枪射击;
But that wasn't the end of my story. 但那不是我的故事结局。
In fact, it was beginning, and the 23 years since is a story of acknowledgment , apology and atonement . 其实那是故事开端, 之后的 23 年 是一段认错、 忏悔与赎罪的故事。
acknowledgment:n.感谢;承认;承认书; atonement:n.赎罪;补偿,弥补;
But it didn't happen in the way that you might imagine or think. 但那不是你想像中的样子。
in the way:妨碍;挡道;
These things occurred in my life in a way that was surprising, especially to me. 这些发生在我生命中的事情让人意外, 尤其让我吃惊。
occurred:v.发生;出现;存在于;出现在;(occur的过去分词和过去式) especially:adv.尤其;特别;格外;十分;
See, like many of you, growing up, I was an honor roll student, a scholarship student, with dreams of becoming a doctor. 就像在座许多人一样, 成长期间,我的学業成绩很好, 拿到奖学金, 梦想要当医生。
honor roll:n.光荣榜;荣誉名册;(大、中学的)优秀生名单; scholarship:n.奖学金;学问;学识;学术成就;
But things went dramatically wrong when my parents separated and eventually divorced. 但是事情有了戏剧性的变化, 因为我的父母分开、 最后以离婚收场。
dramatically:adv.戏剧地;引人注目地;adv.显著地,剧烈地; eventually:adv.最后,终于;
The actual events are pretty straightforward . 这些事件来得势不可当。
straightforward:adj.简单的;坦率的;明确的;径直的;adv.直截了当地;坦率地;
At the age of 17, 17 岁的时候,
I got shot three times standing on the corner of my block in Detroit . 我中枪三次, 那时我站在底特律家附近的街角。
Detroit:n.底特律(美国一座城市);
My friend rushed me to the hospital. 朋友火速送我到医院。
Doctors pulled the bullets out, patched me up, and sent me back to the same neighborhood where I got shot. 医生取出子弹, 为我包扎, 之后再送我回到发生枪击的街区。
bullets:n.子弹;弹丸;(bullet的复数) patched:v.打补丁;缝补;修补;(patch的过去分词和过去式) neighborhood:n.附近;地区;街坊;adj.附近的;
Throughout this ordeal , no one hugged me, no one counseled me, no one told me I would be okay. 经过这场可怕的经历, 没人拥抱我, 没人安慰我, 没人告诉我,一切都会好转。
Throughout:adv.自始至终,到处;全部;prep.贯穿,遍及; ordeal:n.折磨;严酷的考验;痛苦的经验; counseled:v.劝告,建议;(counsel的过去式与过去分词形式)
No one told me that I would live in fear, that I would become paranoid , or that I would react hyper-violently to being shot. 没人告诉我,我会活在恐惧中, 我会变得偏执, 或是我对被射伤的反应会非常激烈。
paranoid:adj.类似妄想狂的;属于偏执狂的;n.患妄想狂的人;偏执狂患者; react:v.起反应;回应;(对食物等)有不良反应,过敏;起化学反应;
No one told me that one day, 没人告诉我,
I would become the person behind the trigger .
trigger:n.触发器; v.触发;
Fourteen months later, at 2 a.m., 14 个月后, 凌晨两点,
I fired the shots that caused a man's death. 我开了枪, 杀死了一个人。
When I entered prison, 入狱的时候,
I was bitter , I was angry, I was hurt. 我很怨恨,我很生气,我很痛苦,
bitter:adj.苦的; n.苦味; v.激烈地; v.使变苦;
I didn't want to take responsibility. 我不想负责。
I blamed everybody from my parents to the system. 我怪罪每个人,
I rationalized my decision to shoot because in the hood where I come from, it's better to be the shooter than the person getting shot. 我合理化自己开枪的决定, 因为在我住的街区, 选择当个开枪的人 好过当个中枪的人。
rationalized:adj.合理化的; v.使合理化;
As I sat in my cold cell,
I felt helpless , unloved and abandoned . 感到无助,失去关爱,被人遗弃。
helpless:adj.无助的;无能的;没用的; unloved:adj.不为人所爱的; abandoned:adj.被抛弃的放纵的;v.抛弃;丢弃,离开;放弃;(abandon的过去分词和过去式)
I felt like nobody cared, and I reacted with hostility to my confinement. 我觉得没人在乎我, 锒铛入狱让我满腹怨恨。
reacted:v.起反应; (react的过去分词和过去式) hostility:n.敌意;战争行动;
And I found myself getting deeper and deeper into trouble. 我发现自己在麻烦里越陷越深。
I ran black market stores, 我常跑黑店、
black market:在黑市卖;做黑市交易;
I loan sharked, and I sold drugs that were illegally smuggled into the prison. 放高利贷、 走私毒品到监狱卖。
illegally:adv.非法地; smuggled:v.走私;私运;偷运(smuggle的过去分词和过去式)
I had in fact become what the warden of the Michigan Reformatory called the worst of the worst. 其实我变成了 密西根感化院典狱长称的: 「万恶之极。」
warden:n.监狱长;管理人;看守人;监护人; Michigan:n.密歇根;美国密歇根州; Reformatory:adj.改革的;感化的;革新的;n.少年管教所;妓女教养所;
And because of my activity, 因为那些行动,
I landed in solitary confinement for seven and a half years out of my incarceration . 我被单独监禁 长达七年半之久。
solitary confinement:n.单独监禁;单独禁闭; incarceration:n.监禁;下狱;禁闭;
Now as I see it, solitary confinement is one of the most inhumane and barbaric places you can find yourself, but find myself I did. 现在回过头看, 最不人道和野蛮的场所, 但却是我找到自己的地方。
inhumane:adj.残忍的;无人情味的; barbaric:adj.野蛮的,粗野的;原始的;
One day, I was pacing my cell, when an officer came and delivered mail. 某天,我在牢房里踱步, 警官送信过来。
I looked at a couple of letters before I looked at the letter that had my son's squiggly handwriting on it. 看了几封信之后, 我开始读儿子亲手写的那封 歪七扭八字迹的信。
squiggly:adv.弯弯曲曲地;
And anytime I would get a letter from my son, it was like a ray of light in the darkest place you can imagine. 每次,我都会收到他的信, 那就像是黑暗深处里的一线曙光。
And on this particular day, I opened this letter, and in capital letters, he wrote, 在这特别的日子,我打开信, 他用大写的字体写下:
My mama told me why you was in prison: murder. 「妈妈说你被关在监狱, 因为你是杀人兇手。」
He said, Dad, don't kill. 他说:「爸爸,不要杀人。
Jesus watches what you do. Pray to Him. 耶稣在看你做了什么事,
Jesus:int.上帝啊:天哪:n.耶稣:耶稣基督:
Now, I wasn't religious at that time, nor am I religious now, but it was something so profound about my son's words. 现在也不信, 但我儿子的话对我来说意义深远。
religious:adj.宗教的;虔诚的;严谨的;修道的;n.修道士;尼姑; profound:adj.深厚的;意义深远的;渊博的;
They made me examine things about my life that I hadn't considered. 那些话让我檢视自己在生命中 从未思考过的事。
It was the first time in my life that I had actually thought about the fact that my son would see me as a murderer. 这是我此生第一次真的意识到 我儿子会把我看做杀人兇手的事实。
I sat back on my bunk and I reflected on something I had read in [Plato], where Socrates stated in Apology that the unexamined life isn't worth living. 我坐在床上, 回想起之前读到柏拉图的着作, 在＜申辩篇＞中,苏格拉底曾说 未经反省的人生不值得活。
bunk:n.铺位;床铺;座床;v.睡在铺上;逃跑; reflected:adj.反射的;得自他人的;v.反射;思考;(reflect的过去式和过去分词) Socrates:n.苏格拉底(古希腊哲学家); unexamined:adj.未经检查的,未经核对的;未经权衡的;
At that point is when the transformation began. 那个时刻正是改变的开始。
transformation:n.转变;(用于南非)民主改革;
But it didn't come easy. 但却得之不易。
One of the things I realized, which was part of the transformation, was that there were four key things. 我领悟了一件事,
The first thing was, 首先,我有很棒的良师益友。
I had great mentors .
mentors:n.导师,教练(mentor复数);
Now, I know some of you all are probably thinking, how did you find a great mentor in prison? 我知道你们之中大概有人会想, 你在监狱怎么找到良师益友？
But in my case, some of my mentors who are serving life sentences were some of the best people to ever come into my life, because they forced me to look at my life honestly, and they forced me to challenge myself about my decision making. 但以我来说, 有一些良师益友虽然被判无期徒刑, 但他们却是我此生接触过最好的人之一, 因为他们强迫我诚实面对自己的人生, 他们强迫我挑战自己做决定。
The second thing was literature . 第二,是文学。
literature:n.文学;文献;文艺;著作;
Prior to going to prison, 在进监狱之前,
Prior:adj.先前的; n.(小隐修院)院长; v.居先;
I didn't know that there were so many brilliant black poets, authors and philosophers , and then I had the great fortune of encountering Malcolm X's autobiography , and it shattered every stereotype I had about myself. 我不认识那么多才华洋溢的 黑人诗人、作家和哲学家, 但后来,我很幸运 能读到麦尔坎．X 的自传, 那本书粉碎我对自己的每一个刻板印象。
philosophers:n.哲学家(philosopher的复数); fortune:n.财富;命运;运气;v.给予财富,偶然发生 encountering:v.遭遇,遇到;偶然碰到;意外地遇见;(encounter的现在分词) autobiography:n.自传;自传文学; shattered:adj.受到严重打击的; v.(使)破碎,碎裂; (shatter的过去式和过去分词) stereotype:vt.使用铅版;套用老套,使一成不变;n.陈腔滥调,老套;铅版;
The third thing was family. 第三是家庭。
For 19 years, my father stood by my side with an unshakable faith , because he believed that I had what it took to turn my life around. 19 年来,我父亲无条件支持我, 对我深信不疑, 因为他相信我拥有能改变生命的东西。
unshakable:adj.不可动摇的;坚定不移的; faith:n.信心;信任;宗教信仰;
I also met an amazing woman who is now the mother of my two-year-old son Sekou, and she taught me how to love myself in a healthy way. 我也碰到一位神奇的女士, 现在她是我两岁儿子塞谷的妈, 她教我用健康的方式爱自己。
The final thing was writing. 最后一件事是写作。
When I got that letter from my son, 收到儿子的信之后,
I began to write a journal about things I had experienced in my childhood and in prison, and what it did is it opened up my mind to the idea of atonement. 我开始写日志, 记录我在童年时期,以及坐牢时的经历, 这件事让我敞开心胸, 愿意赎罪。
journal:n.杂志;日记;日志;(用于报纸名)…报; childhood:n.童年;幼年;孩童时期
Earlier in my incarceration, I had received a letter from one of the relatives of my victim , and in that letter, she told me she forgave me, because she realized I was a young child who had been abused and had been through some hardships and just made a series of poor decisions. 我刚开始被关的时候, 收到一封被害人亲戚的来信, 在那封信中, 她说她原谅我, 因为她知道我只是个孩子, 曾被虐待, 有一些痛苦的经历, 只是做了一连串错误的决定。
relatives:n.亲戚;亲属;同类事物;(relative的复数) victim:n.受害人;牺牲品;牺牲者; abused:v.滥用(以致危害健康); (abuse的过去分词和过去式) hardships:n.艰难(hardship复数形式);困苦; series:n.系列,连续;[电]串联;级数;丛书;
It was the first time in my life that I ever felt open to forgiving myself. 那是我这辈子第一次 开始接受要原谅自己。
One of the things that happened after that experience is that 在那之后发生了一件事,
I thought about the other men who were incarcerated alongside of me, and how much I wanted to share this with them. 我想到被关在我附近的那些人, 我很想和他们分享这个想法。
incarcerated:v.监禁;关押;禁闭;(incarcerate的过去式和过去分词)
And so I started talking to them about some of their experiences, and I was devastated to realize that most of them came from the same abusive environments, 因此我们开始谈他们的经验, 我非常震惊, 他们大多来自同样会受到暴力的环境,
devastated:adj.不安的,混乱的,震惊的; v.彻底破坏; (devastate的过去分词和过去式) abusive:adj.辱骂的;滥用的;虐待的;
And most of them wanted help and they wanted to turn it around, but unfortunately the system that currently holds 2.5 million people in prison is designed to warehouse as opposed to rehabilitate or transform. 大部分的人都需要幫助,也都希望一切能好转, 但不幸的是, 目前关了 250 万人的监狱 是设计来装人, 而不是用来修复或改变人的地方。
unfortunately:adv.不幸地; currently:adv.当前;一般地; warehouse:n.仓库,货栈;货仓; opposed:adj.强烈反对; v.反对(计划、政策等); (oppose的过去分词和过去式) rehabilitate:v.使康复;使恢复正常;恢复…的名誉;恢复原状;
So I made it up in my mind that if I was ever released from prison that I would do everything in my power to help change that. 因此我决定 如果有朝一日离开监狱, 我会尽我最大的能力 来改变这件事。
released:v.释放;使免除;已发布;(release的过去分词和过去式)
In 2010, I walked out of prison for the first time after two decades. 我在 2010 年时出狱, 这是二十年来的第一次。
Now imagine, if you will, 请想像
Fred Flintstone walking into an episode of The Jetsons. 摩登原始人走进「杰森一家」里。
Flintstone:n.燧石;打火石; episode:n.一段经历;片段,插曲;一集;
That was pretty much what my life was like. 那就和我的生活差不多。
For the first time, I was exposed to the Internet, social media , cars that talk like KITT from Knight Rider . 那是我第一次接触网路、 社群媒体, 还有像霹雳游侠里的伙计一样会说话的车。
exposed:adj.无遮蔽的; v.暴露; (expose的过去分词和过去式) media:n.媒体;媒质(medium的复数);血管中层;浊塞音;中脉; Knight:n.(中世纪的)骑士;(英国)爵士(其名前冠以Sir);v.封(某人)为爵士; Rider:n.骑手;附文;扶手;
But the thing that fascinated me the most was phone technology . 不过最让我着迷的是电话。
technology:n.技术;工艺;术语;
See, when I went to prison, our car phones were this big and required two people to carry them. 我进监狱时, 车上的电话这么大, 还得要两个人拿着。
So imagine what it was like when I first grabbed my little Blackberry and I started learning how to text. 想像一下,我第一次拿着我的小黑莓机, 开始学怎么传简讯。
grabbed:v.抓住;攫取;抓住,夺得;(grab的过去分词和过去式) Blackberry:n.[园艺]黑莓;
But the thing is, the people around me, they didn't realize that I had no idea what all these abbreviated texts meant, like LOL, OMG, LMAO, until one day I was having a conversation with one of my friends via text, and I asked him to do something, and he responded back, K. 但问题是我周遭的亲友都不了解 像是 LOL（大笑）、OMG（我的天）、 我请他幫忙,他回了「K」。
abbreviated:adj.简短的;小型的;服装超短的;v.缩写;节略(abbreviate的过去分词); responded:v.回答,回应;作出反应;响应;反应灵敏;(respond的过去式和过去分词)
And I was like, What is K? 我传:「什么是 K？」
And he was like, K is okay. 他传:「K 就是 OK。」
So in my head, I was like, 我脑袋想的是:
Well what the hell is wrong with K? 「K 是哪里有毛病？」
And so I text him a question mark . 所以我传了问号给他。
question mark:abbr.(=questionstop)疑问号;n.问号;
And he said, K = okay. 他说:「K = OK。」
And so I tap back, FU. (Laughter) 我回传:「FU。（脏话简称）」（笑声）
And then he texts back, and he asks me why was I cussing him out. 然后他回传问我 为什么要骂他。
cussing:v.诅咒;咒骂;(cuss的现在分词)
And I said, LOL FU, as in, I finally understand. 我说:「LOL FU。」 我终于理解了。
finally:adv.终于;最终;(用于列举)最后;彻底地;
(Laughter) （笑声）
And so fast forward three years, 时间飞快过了三年,
I'm doing relatively good. 我适应得还不错。
relatively:adv.相当程度上;相当地;相对地;
I have a fellowship at MIT Media Lab, 我拿到麻省理工学院媒体实验室的研究奖金,
fellowship:n.友谊;奖学金;研究员职位;
I work for an amazing company called BMe, 在一间很棒的公司工作,叫 BMe,
I teach at the University of Michigan, but it's been a struggle because I realize that there are more men and women coming home who are not going to be afforded those opportunities. 还在密西根大学任教, 但是我一直在挣扎, 因为我了解 有更多人回到家之后, 不会得到那些机会。
afforded:vt.给予,提供;买得起;
I've been blessed to work with some amazing men and women, helping others reenter society, and one of them is my friend named Calvin Evans . 我很幸运能和许多很棒的人一起工作, 幫助其他人重返社会, 其中有一位是我的朋友凯文．伊凡斯。
blessed:adj.神圣的; v.求上帝降福于; (bless的过去分词和过去式) reenter:v.重返;重新存入;[律]收回(贷出物);再进入; Evans:n.埃文斯;(姓氏)埃文斯;伊文思;
He served 24 years for a crime he didn't commit . 他因为一件从未犯的罪坐了 24 年牢。
commit:v.犯(罪等);干(坏事等);[法]提(审);判处;
He's 45 years old. He's currently enrolled in college. 他 45 岁,正在念大学。
enrolled:v.(使)加入;注册;登记;(enroll的过去分词和过去式)
And one of the things that we talked about is the three things that I found important in my personal transformation, the first being acknowledgment. 我们曾讨论过 我发现在我个人转变中很重要的三件事, 第一件事,是认错。
personal:adj.个人的;身体的;亲自的;n.人事消息栏;人称代名词;
I had to acknowledge that I had hurt others. 我必须承认我曾伤害别人。
I also had to acknowledge that I had been hurt. 我也必须承认自己受了伤。
The second thing was apologizing. 第二件事,是道歉。
I had to apologize to the people I had hurt. 我得向曾被我伤害的人道歉。
Even though I had no expectations of them accepting it, it was important to do because it was the right thing. 即使我毫不期待他们会接受, 但那却很重要,因为那是对的事。
expectations:n.预料;预期;期待;希望;指望;(expectation的复数)
But I also had to apologize to myself. 而且我也必须向自己道歉。
The third thing was atoning . 第三件事,是赎罪。
atoning:vt.赎罪;弥补;偿还;vi.弥补;赎回;
For me, atoning meant going back into my community and working with at-risk youth who were on the same path, but also becoming at one with myself. 对我来说,赎罪意谓着回到我的社区, 服务走上同样道路的高风险青少年, 并且成为和我一样的人。
community:n.社区;[生态]群落;共同体;团体; at-risk:adj.处于危险中的;
Through my experience of being locked up, one of the things I discovered is this: the majority of men and women who are incarcerated are redeemable , and the fact is, 有过被关进牢房的经验后,我发现: 大多数的受刑人都还有救, 事实上,
majority:n.大部分:大多数:多数票:成年人: redeemable:adj.可赎回的;可偿还的;可挽救的;可换成现款的;
90 percent of the men and women who are incarcerated will at some point return to the community, and we have a role in determining what kind of men and women return to our community. 90% 的受刑人之后会回到社区, 有个人有权决定 什么样的人可以重返社区。
determining:v.查明;测定;准确算出;决定;支配;裁决;(determine的现在分词)
My wish today is that we will embrace a more empathetic approach toward how we deal with mass incarceration, that we will do away with the lock-them-up-and-throw-away-the-key mentality , because it's proven it doesn't work. 今天我希望 我们能采取 更有同理心的方式 处理大规模的监禁问题, 摒除把人关起来就置之不理的态度, 因为事实证明那没有用。
embrace:n.拥抱,怀抱;v.拥抱;乐意采纳(思想、建议等);信奉;包括; empathetic:adj.移情作用的;同感的(等于empathic); approach:n.方法;路径;v.接近;建议;着手处理; mass:n.块,团; adj.群众的,民众的; v.聚集起来,聚集; do away with:v.废除,去掉;弄死; mentality:n.心态;[心理]智力;精神力;头脑作用;
My journey is a unique journey, but it doesn't have to be that way. 我拥有一段独特旅程, 但那不代表非得如此不可。
journey:n.旅行;行程;vi.旅行; unique:adj.独特的,稀罕的;[数]唯一的;n.独一无二的人或物;
Anybody can have a transformation if we create the space for that to happen. 任何人都能改变, 只要我们允许发生的可能。
So what I'm asking today is that you envision a world where men and women aren't held hostage to their pasts, where misdeeds and mistakes don't define you for the rest of your life. 因此,今天我请各位想像 一个人人不会被过去绑住的世界, 一个罪行和错误 不会定义你未来人生的世界。
envision:v.想象;预想; hostage:n.人质;抵押品; misdeeds:n.恶行;不义之举;(misdeed的复数) define:v.定义;使明确;规定;
I think collectively , we can create that reality, and I hope you do too. 我想我们能一同实现, 希望你也有同感。
collectively:adv.共同地,全体地;
Thank you. 谢谢。
(Applause) （掌声）