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LeslieMorganSteiner_2012X-_为什么家庭暴力受害者不离开_
I'm here today to talk about a disturbing question, which has an equally disturbing answer. 今天,我想聊一个令人不安的问题, 这个问题的答案同样令人烦扰。
disturbing:adj.引起烦恼的;令人不安的;v.打扰;干扰;搅乱;使不安;(disturb的现在分词)
My topic is the secrets of domestic violence , and the question I'm going to tackle is the one question everyone always asks: 我要说的是家庭暴力的秘密, 而我将要回答的问题 这个问题每个人都曾经问起:
domestic:n.佣人;家佣;家庭纠纷;家庭矛盾;adj.本国的;国内的;家用的;家庭的; violence:n.暴力;侵犯;激烈;歪曲; tackle:v.处理; n.用具;
Why does she stay? “为什么她（家庭暴力受害者）会留下来？”
Why would anyone stay with a man who beats her? “怎么会有人愿意和一个打她的男人继续住在一起？”
I'm not a psychiatrist , a social worker or an expert in domestic violence. 我并不是精神病医生、社会工作者、 也不是家庭暴力方面的专家。
psychiatrist:n.精神病学家,精神病医生; social worker:n.社会工作者;
I'm just one woman with a story to tell. 我只是一个有着亲身经历要讲述的女人。
I was 22. I had just graduated from Harvard College. 当时我22岁,刚从哈佛学院毕业。
Harvard:n.哈佛大学;哈佛大学学生;
I had moved to New York City for my first job as a writer and editor at Seventeen magazine. 我搬到了纽约,开始了自己第一份工作 在“Seventeen”杂志社当编辑和撰稿人。
I had my first apartment, my first little green American Express card, and I had a very big secret. 我第一次有了自己的房子（公寓）, 有了第一张信用卡。 我还有一个非常大的秘密。
Express:v.表达; adj.特快的; n.特快列车; v.使用快速服务;
My secret was that I had this gun loaded with hollow-point bullets pointed at my head by the man who I thought was my soulmate , many, many times. 这个秘密就是我曾经 被我认为是我灵魂伴侣的男人 用这把装满空心弹头的枪指着我的头 太多、太多次。
bullets:n.子弹;弹丸;(bullet的复数) soulmate:n.灵魂伴侣;
The man who I loved more than anybody on Earth held a gun to my head and threatened to kill me more times than I can even remember. 这个我曾经最爱的人, 用枪指着我的头,并威胁要杀掉我, 我已经记不得对我做了多少次。
I'm here to tell you the story of crazy love, a psychological trap disguised as love, one that millions of women and even a few men fall into every year. 现在我所讲述的这个“疯狂爱情”的故事, 是一个伪装成爱情的心理陷阱, 每年都会有上百万的女性,甚至也包括一些男性 会掉进这个陷阱。
psychological:adj.心理的;心理学的;精神上的; trap:v.使陷入困境;卡住;夹住;收集;吸收;n.陷阱;圈套;捕捉器;诡计; disguised:v.假扮;装扮;伪装;掩蔽;掩饰(disguise的过去分词和过去式)
It may even be your story. 或许,它正发生在你的身上。
I don't look like a typical domestic violence survivor. 我看起来不像是典型的家庭暴力受害者。
typical:adj.典型的;特有的;象征性的;
I have a B.A. in English from Harvard College, an MBA in marketing from Wharton Business School . 我拥有哈佛学院的英语学士学位, 还拿到了沃顿商学院的市场营销方面的MBA学位。
Business School:n.(大学里针对毕业生的)工商学院;
I've spent most of my career working for Fortune 500 companies including Johnson & Johnson, Leo Burnett and The Washington Post. 我决大多数时间都在为 财富 500强公司工作, 包括强生,李奥贝纳和华盛顿邮报。
career:n.职业;事业;生涯;经历; Fortune:n.财富;命运;运气;v.给予财富,偶然发生
I've been married for almost 20 years to my second husband and we have three kids together. 我嫁给我的第二任丈夫差不多20年了 并育有3个孩子。
My dog is a black lab, and I drive a Honda Odyssey minivan . 我养了一只黑色拉布拉多猎犬,开本田奥赛德面包车。
Honda:n.本田汽车公司; Odyssey:n.奥德赛(古希腊史诗); minivan:n.小型货车;
(Laughter) （笑）
So my first message for you is that domestic violence happens to everyone -- all races, all religions, all income and education levels. 这就是我要告诉你的第一个事实:家庭暴力 可能发生在每个人身上 无关你的种族、信仰、收入和教育水平。
It's everywhere. 它随处可见。
And my second message is that everyone thinks domestic violence happens to women, that it's a women's issue . 我要说的第二个事实,是很多人认为 既然家庭暴力发生在女性身上, 那应该是女性自身的问题。
issue:n.重要议题;争论的问题;v.宣布;公布;发出;发行;
Not exactly. 不是的。
Over 85 percent of abusers are men, and domestic abuse happens only in intimate , interdependent , long-term relationships, in other words, in families, the last place we would want or expect to find violence, which is one reason domestic abuse is so confusing . 超过85%的施虐者是男性,并且家庭暴力 只发生在亲密的、相互依存的、长期的关系中, 换句话说,发生在家庭中, 这是我们最不愿意,或最不期望看到暴力的地方。 这也是为什么家庭暴力如此叫人困扰的原因之一。
abusers:n.abuser的名词复数形式; intimate:n.知己; v.暗示; adj.亲密的; interdependent:adj.相互依赖的;互助的; long-term:adj.长期的;从长远来看; confusing:adj.令人困惑; v.使糊涂; (confuse的现在分词)
I would have told you myself that I was the last person on Earth who would stay with a man who beats me, but in fact I was a very typical victim because of my age. 我原本以为世界上只有我一个人 会继续留在一个打我的男人身边, 但是事实上在我这个年龄段这种事情非常普遍。
victim:n.受害人;牺牲品;牺牲者;
I was 22, and in the United States, women ages 16 to 24 are three times as likely to be domestic violence victims as women of other ages, and over 500 women and girls this age are killed every year by abusive partners, boyfriends, and husbands in the United States. 我当时22岁。而在美国, 16至24岁的女性相比其他年龄段的女性 受到家庭暴力伤害的可能性 要高出两倍以上。 同样在美国,每年有超过500位 妇女或女孩被施虐者杀害, 凶手是她们的男友,或者丈夫。
United:adj.联合的; v.联合,团结; (unite的过去分词和过去式) abusive:adj.辱骂的;滥用的;虐待的;
I was also a very typical victim because I knew nothing about domestic violence, its warning signs or its patterns. 我是一个非常典型的受害者, 还因为我家庭暴力的预兆和发展模式一无所知。
I met Conor on a cold, rainy January night. 我在一个雨夜遇见了康纳,那时是一月份,天很冷。
He sat next to me on the New York City subway, and he started chatting me up. 我们在纽约的地铁上碰巧坐在一起, 他先跟我聊了起来。
He told me two things. 他告诉我两件事。
One was that he, too, had just graduated from an Ivy League school, and that he worked at a very impressive Wall Street bank. 第一件是他也毕业于常春藤联盟学校, 并且在一个非常好的华尔街银行工作。
Ivy League:n.[教]常春藤联盟; impressive:adj.感人的;令人钦佩的;给人以深刻印象的; Wall Street:n.华尔街(美国纽约金融中心和证券交易所所在地);
But what made the biggest impression on me that first meeting was that he was smart and funny and he looked like a farm boy. 但是第一次见面给我留下最深印象的是 他的智慧和幽默, 而他的外貌看起来像农场男孩。
impression:n.印象;影响;效果;感想;
He had these big cheeks, these big apple cheeks and this wheat-blond hair, and he seemed so sweet. 他的脸颊像大苹果一样红扑扑的 小麦色的金发, 看起来十分讨人喜欢。
big apple:n.纽约市;
One of the smartest things Conor did, from the very beginning, was to create the illusion that I was the dominant partner in the relationship. 在初次交往中康纳做的最聪明的事情, 是让我相信,在这段感情中我是强势的一方。
illusion:n.幻觉,错觉;错误的观念或信仰; dominant:adj.显性的;占优势的;支配的,统治的;n.显性;
He did this especially at the beginning by idolizing me. 尤其刚开始的时候,他让我觉得 我是他崇拜的偶像。
especially:adv.尤其;特别;格外;十分; at the beginning:首先;从一开始;起初;从头开始; idolizing:vt.极端崇拜;把...当偶像崇拜;vi.崇拜偶像;
We started dating, and he loved everything about me, that I was smart, that I'd gone to Harvard, that I was passionate about helping teenage girls, and my job. 我们开始交往,他喜欢关于我的一切, 例如我的聪明,我在哈佛的求学经历, 我给予青少年女性的热情帮助,以及我的工作。
passionate:adj.热情的;热烈的,激昂的;易怒的;
He wanted to know everything about my family and my childhood and my hopes and dreams. 他很愿意了解我的家庭、 我的童年、我的愿望和梦想。
childhood:n.童年;幼年;孩童时期
Conor believed in me, as a writer and a woman, in a way that no one else ever had. 康纳对我信任的程度,我身为一个女人和撰稿人, 之前从未没有在别人那里得到过。
And he also created a magical atmosphere of trust between us by confessing his secret, which was that, as a very young boy starting at age four, he had been savagely and repeatedly physically abused by his stepfather , 通过透露他不为人知的秘密,他在我们之间营造了 奇特的相互信任的氛围。 他告诉我,他从四岁开始 他的继父就开始持续野蛮的 在身体上虐待他。
atmosphere:n.大气;气氛;气压;风格; confessing:v.供认,坦白,承认;悔过;告罪;(confess的现在分词) savagely:adv.野蛮地;残忍地; repeatedly:adv.反复地;再三地;屡次地; abused:v.滥用(以致危害健康); (abuse的过去分词和过去式) stepfather:n.继父;
and the abuse had gotten so bad that he had had to drop out of school in eighth grade, even though he was very smart, and he'd spent almost 20 years rebuilding his life. 虐待的结果是如此之坏,使得他不得不在八年级的时候辍学, 尽管当时他十分的聪明。 他花了几乎20年的时间重建他的生活。
Which is why that Ivy League degree and the Wall Street job and his bright shiny future meant so much to him. 这也就是为什么常春藤大学的学位, 华尔街的工作和光明的未来, 对他意义重大。
shiny:adj.闪亮的;光亮的;反光的;有光泽的;
If you had told me that this smart, funny, sensitive man who adored me would one day dictate whether or not I wore makeup , how short my skirts were, where I lived, what jobs I took, who my friends were and where I spent Christmas, 如果那时有人对我说 这个聪明、幽默、体贴并喜欢我的男人 会有一天命令我是否化妆, 我的裙子能多短, 我生活在哪,要做什么工作, 能和谁交朋友和在哪度过圣诞,
sensitive:adj.敏感的;感觉的;易受影响的;n.敏感的人;有灵异能力的人; dictate:v.决定;口述;支配;强行规定;n.规定;命令; whether or not:是否…; makeup:n.化妆品;组成;补充;补考;
I would have laughed at you, because there was not a hint of violence or control or anger in Conor at the beginning. 我会嘲笑你, 因为我在康纳身上看不出一点暴力或者控制欲 或者愤怒的预兆。
hint:n.提示;暗示;迹象;窍门;v.暗示;透露;示意;
I didn't know that the first stage in any domestic violence relationship is to seduce and charm the victim. 当时我并不知道, 引诱和迷惑受害者是家庭暴力关系 开始的第一步
seduce:v.引诱;诱惑;诱奸;怂恿; charm:n.魅力;咒语;吸引力;魔力;v.迷住;吸引;保护;
I also didn't know that the second step is to isolate the victim. 我当时也不知道,第二步是孤立受害者。
isolate:v.孤立; n.[微]分离菌;
Now, Conor did not come home one day and announce, "You know, hey, all this Romeo and Juliet stuff has been great, but I need to move into the next phase 康纳并不是回到家,向我宣布 “嘿,虽然罗曼蒂克之类的很棒, 但是我们要进入下一阶段了
Romeo:n.年轻的男情人;风流放荡的男子; stuff:n.东西:物品:基本特征:v.填满:装满:标本: phase:n.阶段;时期;月相;(月亮的)盈亏;v.分阶段进行;逐步做;
where I isolate you and I abuse you" — (Laughter) — "so I need to get you out of this apartment where the neighbors can hear you scream and out of this city where you have friends and family and coworkers who can see the bruises ." 我要孤立你然后虐待你。”（笑） “所以我要你离开你自己的公寓, 防止你的邻居他听见你的惨叫, 我还要让你离开这个有你的朋友、家人和同事的城市 不然他们会看到你的伤痕。”
coworkers:n.同事;合作人;(coworker的复数形式) bruises:v.(使)出现伤痕; n.碰伤; (bruise的第三人称单数和复数)
Instead, Conor came home one Friday evening and he told me that he had quit his job that day, his dream job, and he said that he had quit his job because of me, because I had made him feel so safe and loved 事实是,康纳在一个周五的晚上回到家, 告诉我他辞掉了他的工作, 他梦寐以求的工作, 他说他是因为我才辞职, 我让他拥有了无比的幸福和安全感,
quit:v.离开;放弃;停止;使…解除;n.离开;[计]退出;adj.摆脱了…的;已经了结的;
that he didn't need to prove himself on Wall Street anymore, and he just wanted to get out of the city and away from his abusive, dysfunctional family, and move to a tiny town in New England where he could start his life over with me by his side. 他再不需要到华尔街证明自己。 现在他只想离开这座城市, 原理那个充满虐待的、不正常的家庭, 搬到新英格兰的某个小镇 和我一起在那里开始新的生活。
dysfunctional:机能失调的,功能障碍的;
Now, the last thing I wanted to do was leave New York, and my dream job, but I thought you made sacrifices for your soulmate, so I agreed, and I quit my job, and Conor and I left Manhattan together. 当时,我最不想做的就是离开纽约, 离开我热爱的工作, 但是为了自己灵魂伴侣,我想我需要做出牺牲。 所以我同意了,辞掉了工作, 跟康纳一起离开了曼哈顿。
sacrifices:n.牺牲,损失; v.牺牲,损失(sacrifice的单三形式);
I had no idea I was falling into crazy love, that I was walking headfirst into a carefully laid physical , financial and psychological trap. 我以为自己陷入了疯狂的爱情,还不知道 我已经懵懂的走进了一张精心编织的 控制你身体、心灵和经济的陷阱。
headfirst:adv.不顾前后地;头向前地; physical:adj.[物]物理的;身体的;物质的;符合自然法则的;n.体格检查; financial:adj.金融的;财政的,财务的;
The next step in the domestic violence pattern is to introduce the threat of violence and see how she reacts . 家庭暴力模式的第三阶段 就是开始用暴力威胁（受害者） 并观察她的反应。
reacts:vi.反应;影响;反抗;起反作用;vt.使发生相互作用;使起化学反应;
And here's where those guns come in. 这就是刚才（我拿出来的）枪的用途。
As soon as we moved to New England -- you know, that place where Connor was supposed to feel so safe -- he bought three guns. 我们刚搬到新英格兰小镇 ——我想,康纳应该是觉得这里很安全—— 他就买了三支枪。
As soon as:一…就; supposed:adj.误信的;所谓的;v.认为;假设;设想;(suppose的过去分词和过去式)
He kept one in the glove compartment of our car. 一支放在车子的置物箱里,
glove compartment:n.(汽车前排座位前放小物件的)杂物箱;
He kept one under the pillows on our bed, and the third one he kept in his pocket at all times. 一支放在床的枕头下面, 第三支则一直放在口袋里。
pillows:n.枕头;v.枕着(某物);(pillow的第三人称单数和复数)
And he said that he needed those guns because of the trauma he'd experienced as a young boy. 他说小时候的精神创伤 使得他需要拥有这些枪
trauma:n.[外科]创伤(由心理创伤造成精神上的异常);外伤;
He needed them to feel protected. 来让他自己保持安全感。
But those guns were really a message for me, and even though he hadn't raised a hand to me, my life was already in grave danger every minute of every day. 那些枪对我来说是一个明显的信号, 尽管他并没有拿起枪指着我, 我已经无时不刻不处在危险的边缘。
grave:adj.重大的;严肃的;黯淡的;n.墓穴,坟墓;死亡;v.雕刻;铭记;
Conor first physically attacked me five days before our wedding. 康纳第一次打我 是在我们婚礼的五天前。
It was 7 a.m. I still had on my nightgown . 那是早上七点,我还穿着睡袍。
nightgown:n.睡衣(等于dressinggown或nightdress);
I was working on my computer trying to finish a freelance writing assignment , and I got frustrated , and Conor used my anger as an excuse to put both of his hands around my neck 我正在用电脑工作,想要完成自由职业撰稿的任务, 当时我有些烦躁, 康纳以我的愤怒为借口, 用双手掐住我的脖子,
freelance:n.自由作家;自由记者;adj.自由投稿的; assignment:n.分配:(分派的)工作,任务: frustrated:adj.失意的,挫败的;泄气的;v.挫败;阻挠;(frustrate的过去式和过去分词)
and to squeeze so tightly that I could not breathe or scream, and he used the chokehold to hit my head repeatedly against the wall. 死死的掐着,让我无法呼吸,喊不出声。 他从背后勒着我的脖子 一次一次的把我的头往墙上撞。
squeeze:v.挤;紧握;勒索;压榨;n.压榨;紧握;拥挤;佣金; tightly:adv.紧紧地;坚固地; chokehold:n.掐脖子;压制;
Five days later, the ten bruises on my neck had just faded , and I put on my mother's wedding dress , and I married him. 五天之后,脖子上的十个手指印刚消退, 我就穿上我妈妈的婚纱, 嫁给了他。
faded:adj.已褪色的;已凋谢的; wedding dress:n.婚纱;
Despite what had happened, 尽管发生了那些事情,
Despite:prep.尽管,不管;n.轻视;憎恨;侮辱;
I was sure we were going to live happily ever after, because I loved him, and he loved me so much. 我还是相信我们以后能幸福的生活, 因为我们如此的相爱,也因为
And he was very, very sorry. 他表现出的深深的悔意。
He had just been really stressed out by the wedding and by becoming a family with me. 他只是压力太大了,婚礼的筹备和 我家庭成员的到来让他喘不过气。
It was an isolated incident, and he was never going to hurt me again. 这是一个意外, 而他以后不会再伤害我。
isolated:adj.偏远的; v.隔离,孤立,脱离;
It happened twice more on the honeymoon . 蜜月期间我又被打了两次。
honeymoon:n.蜜月;(新活动之初的)和谐时期;v.(去某处)度蜜月
The first time, I was driving to find a secret beach and I got lost, and he punched me in the side of my head so hard that the other side of my head repeatedly hit the driver's side window. 第一次,我驾车去寻找秘密的海滩 我迷路了, 他（坐在副驾驶座上）不停的打我的头,打得如此的使劲 以至于我的头不断的撞到 驾驶座车门的玻璃。
punched:v.拳打;以拳痛击;给…打孔;按(键);(punch的过去分词和过去式)
And then a few days later, driving home from our honeymoon, he got frustrated by traffic, and he threw a cold Big Mac in my face. 没过几天,过完蜜月开车回家的路上 堵车让他很烦躁, 他把一个冰冷的巨无霸砸在我的脸上。
Conor proceeded to beat me once or twice a week for the next two and a half years of our marriage. 在我跟康纳两年半的婚姻生活中, 我每周都会被打一到两次。
proceeded:v.继续做;接着做;继而做;行进;前往;(proceed的过去分词和过去式)
I was mistaken in thinking that I was unique and alone in this situation. 我曾经误以为只有我一个人 有这样的遭遇。
mistaken:adj.错误;不正确;被误解的;v.弄错;误解;误会;(mistake的过去分词) unique:adj.独特的,稀罕的;[数]唯一的;n.独一无二的人或物;
One in three American women experiences domestic violence or stalking at some point in her life, and the CDC reports that 15 million children are abused every year, 15 million. 事实上,每三个美国女性中 就有一个曾是家庭暴力受害者或潜在的目标, 而CDC的报告称每年有1500万的儿童 遭受虐待,1500万。
So actually, I was in very good company. 所以事实上,我不是个例。
Back to my question: 回到我的问题:
Why did I stay? 为什么我要留下来了？
The answer is easy. 答案很简单。
I didn't know he was abusing me. 我并不知道他是在虐待我。
abusing:v.滥用(以致危害健康);妄用;虐待;伤害;(abuse的现在分词)
Even though he held those loaded guns to my head, pushed me down stairs, threatened to kill our dog, pulled the key out of the car ignition as I drove down the highway, poured coffee grinds on my head as I dressed for a job interview , 尽管他用上膛的枪指着我的头, 把我推下楼梯, 威胁杀掉我们的狗, 在高速公路上拔掉车钥匙, 在我为了面试而准备着装时 把咖啡粉从我头上倒下来,
ignition:n.点火,点燃;着火,燃烧;点火开关,点火装置; poured:v.使(液体)连续流出;倾倒;倒出;喷发;(pour的过去分词和过去式) grinds:v.磨碎; n.令人疲劳(或厌倦)的工作; (grind的第三人称单数和复数) interview:n.接见,采访;面试,面谈;v.采访;接见;对…进行面谈;
I never once thought of myself as a battered wife. 我从来没有想过自己是一个受到虐待的妻子。
battered:adj.破旧不堪的;受到重创的;v.连续猛击;殴打;(batter的过去分词和过去式)
Instead, I was a very strong woman in love with a deeply troubled man, and I was the only person on Earth who could help Conor face his demons . 正好相反,我是一个很强硬的女性 深爱着这个饱受困扰的男人, 而且我是这世上唯一一个 可以帮助康纳面对自己心魔的人。
demons:n.恶魔;魔鬼;心魔;邪念;(demon的复数)
The other question everybody asks is, why doesn't she just leave? 大家都想问的另一个问题是, 为什么她不离开？
Why didn't I walk out? I could have left any time. 我为什么没有逃跑？我有很多的机会。
To me, this is the saddest and most painful question that people ask, because we victims know something you usually don't: 对我来说,这是人们问过的最让我伤心和痛苦的问题, 你不能理解,但是只有我们受害者自己清楚
saddest:adj.悲伤的(sad的最高级); painful:adj.痛苦的;疼痛的;令人不快的;
It's incredibly dangerous to leave an abuser. 离开施虐者是多么的危险。
incredibly:adv.难以置信地;非常地;
Because the final step in the domestic violence pattern is kill her. 因为在家庭暴力中的最后一步 就是杀掉她。
Over 70 percent of domestic violence murders happen after the victim has ended the relationship, after she's gotten out, because then the abuser has nothing left to lose. 超过70%的家庭暴力谋杀 发生在受害者结束这段关系后, 在她离开之后, 因为施虐者已经毫无顾忌。
Other outcomes include long-term stalking, even after the abuser remarries; denial of financial resources; and manipulation of the family court system to terrify the victim and her children, who are regularly forced by family court judges to spend unsupervised time with the man who beat their mother. 其他可能的结果包括长期的跟踪, 甚至施虐者再婚之后（仍会跟踪）; 拒绝经济支持; 欺骗家庭法庭 来恐吓受害者和她的孩子。 孩子们通常会被家庭问题法官要求 和那个打他们母亲的男人 一起度过一段无人监管的时间。
outcomes:n.结果;成果;后果;出路;(outcome的复数) denial:n.否认;否定;剥夺(应有的权利);拒不承认(令人不快、痛苦的事); manipulation:n.操作;管理措施;处理;操纵证券市场;变换; terrify:vt.恐吓;使恐怖;使害怕; regularly:adv.经常地;有规律地;定期的 unsupervised:adj.无人监督的;无人管理的;
And still we ask, why doesn't she just leave? 现在我们仍然会问,她为什么不逃走？
I was able to leave, because of one final, sadistic beating that broke through my denial. 我之所以决定离开, 是因为最后一次残暴的殴打 突破了我能承受的极限。
sadistic:adj.虐待狂的;残酷成性的;
I realized that the man who I loved so much was going to kill me if I let him. 我意识到如果我不反抗,这个我曾 深爱的男人会杀掉我。
So I broke the silence. 所以我打破了沉默。
I told everyone: the police, my neighbors, my friends and family, total strangers, and I'm here today because you all helped me. 我向所有人求助: 警察,邻居, 我的朋友和家人,完全陌生的人, 今天我能站在这里,因为你们每个人都帮助了我。
We tend to stereotype victims as grisly headlines, self-destructive women, damaged goods. 我们倾向于将受害者描述成 作贱自己、轻浮的女人, 就像新闻中可怕的标题所言。
stereotype:vt.使用铅版;套用老套,使一成不变;n.陈腔滥调,老套;铅版; grisly:adj.可怕的;厉害的;严重的; self-destructive:adj.自毁的;表现自杀欲望的;
The question, "Why does she stay?" “为什么她要留下？” 问这个问题
is code for some people for, "It's her fault for staying," 的一些人实际上在说,“这是她自己的错“,
as if victims intentionally choose to fall in love with men intent upon destroying us. 就好像受害者是有意的和意图 摧残她们的男人相爱。
intentionally:adv.故意地,有意地; fall in love with:爱上......;与......相爱;
But since publishing "Crazy Love," 但”Crazy Love”这本书出版之后,
I have heard hundreds of stories from men and women who also got out, who learned an invaluable life lesson from what happened, and who rebuilt lives -- joyous , happy lives -- as employees, wives and mothers, lives completely free of violence, like me. 很多男人和女人跟我诉说了他们的故事 他们也想告诉别人, 他们从发生的事情中学到了无价的一课, 他们重新开始了生活——开心快乐的生活—— 作为员工、妻子和母亲, 就像我现在一样生活,远离暴力。
invaluable:adj.无价的;非常贵重的; joyous:adj.令人高兴的;充满欢乐的(等于joyful);
Because it turns out that I'm actually a very typical domestic violence victim and a typical domestic violence survivor. 实际上,我是典型的家庭暴力受害者, 也是典型的家庭暴力幸存者。
I remarried a kind and gentle man, and we have those three kids. 我和一个温柔善良男人再次结婚, 有了三个孩子。
remarried:v.再婚;(remarry的过去式和过去分词)
I have that black lab, and I have that minivan. 我养了一只黑色拉布拉多猎犬,开本田奥赛德面包车。
What I will never have again, ever, is a loaded gun held to my head by someone who says that he loves me. 而我永远不会再拥有的, 永远 是一个嘴里说爱我的人用 上膛了的枪指着我的脑袋。
Right now, maybe you're thinking, "Wow, this is fascinating ," 此时此刻,你可能在想, 哇,这才神奇了,
fascinating:adj.极有吸引力的;迷人的;v.深深吸引;迷住;(fascinate的现在分词)
or, "Wow, how stupid was she," 或者,“喔,她真蠢,”
but this whole time, I've actually been talking about you. 但是在整个过程中,事实上,我在谈论的是你。
I promise you there are several people listening to me right now who are currently being abused or who were abused as children or who are abusers themselves. 我敢保证,现在正在听我说话的人中 有一些人 正遭受着虐待 或者曾经在小时候被虐待过 或者你就是一个施虐者。
currently:adv.当前;一般地;
Abuse could be affecting your daughter, your sister, your best friend right now. 虐待可能正发生在你的女儿身上, 发生在你的姐妹、你最好的朋友身上。
I was able to end my own crazy love story by breaking the silence. 我能够结束自己“疯狂的爱”的故事 靠的是打破沉默。
I'm still breaking the silence today. 今天我仍然在打破着沉默。
It's my way of helping other victims, and it's my final request of you. 这是我帮助其他的受害者的方式, 同时也是我对你们最后的请求。
Talk about what you heard here. 告诉别人你今天听到的。
Abuse thrives only in silence . 虐待只能活在沉默中。
thrives:vi.繁荣,兴旺;茁壮成长; in silence:沉默地;
You have the power to end domestic violence simply by shining a spotlight on it. 你有能力制止家庭暴力 只需要点亮星星之火。
spotlight:n.聚光灯;反光灯;公众注意的中心;v.聚光照明;使公众注意;
We victims need everyone. 我们受害者需要每一个人的帮助。
We need every one of you to understand the secrets of domestic violence. 我们需要你们每一个人理解 家庭暴力的秘密。
Show abuse the light of day by talking about it with your children, your coworkers, your friends and family. 和你的孩子,你的同事, 你的朋友和家人讨论这个话题, 将虐待曝之于光,
Recast survivors as wonderful, lovable people with full futures. 帮助幸存者重新找回美好、可爱的自己, 重新拥有未来。
Recast:vt.重铸;彻底改动;n.重铸;重做的事物; lovable:adj.可爱的,讨人喜欢的;
Recognize the early signs of violence and conscientiously intervene , deescalate it, show victims a safe way out. 发现家庭暴力的预兆 并认真的干预, 减少发生的可能性,给受害者提供安全的出路。
Recognize:v.认识;认出;辨别出;承认;意识到; conscientiously:adv.有良心地; intervene:vi.干涉;调停;插入; deescalate:v.逐步降(级);缩小(冲突范围);
Together we can make our beds, our dinner tables and our families the safe and peaceful oases they should be. 让我们携起手来, 让我们的床,我们餐桌和家庭 成为它们应该成为的安全、和平的绿洲。
oases:n.绿洲(oasis的复数形式);
Thank you. 谢谢。
(Applause) （鼓掌）