返回首页

LeeMokobe_2015W-_关于变性人的感受而震撼人心的一首诗_
The first time I uttered a prayer was in a glass-stained cathedral . 我第一次的祈祷是在装饰着彩色玻璃教堂。
uttered:v.出声;说;讲(utter的过去分词和过去式) cathedral:n.大教堂;
I was kneeling long after the congregation was on its feet, dip both hands into holy water , trace the trinity across my chest, my tiny body drooping like a question mark all over the wooden pew. 会众起身,我长久地跪着 将双手沁入圣水中, 在胸前划着十字, 我瘦小的身体低垂如同一个问号 在木制的长椅上。
kneeling:v.跪;跪着;跪下;(kneel的现在分词) congregation:n.集会;集合;圣会; dip:n.游一游; v.蘸; holy water:n.圣水; trace:追溯,追踪 trinity:n.三位一体;三人一组;三个一组的东西;三倍; drooping:adj.下垂的;无力的;v.下垂;弯曲;发蔫(droop的现在分词); question mark:abbr.(=questionstop)疑问号;n.问号; wooden:adj.木制的;木头的;木头似的;死板的
I asked Jesus to fix me, and when he did not answer 我请上帝解救我, 当他没有回答
Jesus:int.上帝啊:天哪:n.耶稣:耶稣基督:
I befriended silence in the hopes that my sin would burn and salve my mouth would dissolve like sugar on tongue, but shame lingered as an aftertaste . 我与寂静为友希望我的罪恶燃烧 我的嘴巴会溶解 就像舌头上的糖, 但是羞耻如同后味般徘徊。
befriended:v.做(尤指需要帮助者)的朋友;友善对待;(befriend的过去分词和过去式) sin:n.罪恶;罪行;过错;过失;恶行;v.犯戒律;犯过失; salve:n.药膏;软膏;油膏;vt.使良心得到宽慰;减轻内疚感 dissolve:v.溶;使(固体)溶解;解除;终止;解散;消除;n.(电影、电视等画面的)渐隐 lingered:v.继续存留;缓慢消失;流连;逗留;徘徊;(linger的过去分词和过去式) aftertaste:n.回味;余韵;
And in an attempt to reintroduce me to sanctity , my mother told me of the miracle I was, said I could grow up to be anything I want. 在试图重回神圣, 我母亲告诉我,我是个奇迹 她说我可以成为我想成为的人。
in an attempt to:力图;试图;企图; reintroduce:vt.再引入;再提出;再介绍; sanctity:n.圣洁;尊严;神圣不可侵犯性; miracle:n.奇迹,奇迹般的人或物;惊人的事例;
I decided to be a boy. 于是我决定 成为一个男孩。
It was cute. 这太可爱了。
I had snapback, toothless grin , used skinned knees as street cred , played hide and seek with what was left of my goal. 我有快速、没牙的笑容, 以脱皮的膝盖作为街头信誉, 用我所剩下的目标去玩捉迷藏。
toothless:adj.无牙的;没有权威的;不起作用的; grin:v.咧嘴笑;露齿而笑;咧着嘴笑;n.咧着嘴笑;露齿的笑; street cred:n.街头信誉; seek:v.寻求;寻找;谋求;
I was it. 我曾是这样。
The winner to a game the other kids couldn't play, 我是游戏赢家其它孩子无法加入这场游戏,
I was the mystery of an anatomy , a question asked but not answered, tightroping between awkward boy and apologetic girl, and when I turned 12, the boy phase wasn't deemed cute anymore. 我是解剖学的奇迹, 一个被提出了却又无解的问题, 我在举止奇怪的男孩和谦虚的女孩间徘徊, 当我12岁的时候,男孩的阶段不再可爱。
anatomy:n.解剖;解剖学;剖析;解析; awkward:adj.尴尬的;笨拙的;棘手的;不合适的; apologetic:adj.道歉的;赔罪的; phase:n.阶段;时期;月相;(月亮的)盈亏;v.分阶段进行;逐步做; deemed:v.认为;视为;相信;(deem的过去分词和过去式)
It was met with nostalgic aunts who missed seeing my knees in the shadow of skirts, who reminded me that my kind of attitude would never bring a husband home, that I exist for heterosexual marriage and child-bearing . 怀旧的姑妈想念我裙摆下的膝盖, 告诉我,以我这样的态度是不会找到丈夫的, 我的存在是为了异性婚姻和生孩子。
nostalgic:adj.怀旧的;乡愁的; reminded:v.提醒;使想起;(remind的过去分词和过去式) attitude:n.态度;看法;意见;姿势; heterosexual:adj.异性的;异性恋的;n.异性恋的人; child-bearing:n.生孩子;
And I swallowed their insults along with their slurs . 我忍耐、吞下他们的侮辱和诽谤。
swallowed:v.吞下;咽下;吞没;淹没;侵吞(swallow的过去分词和过去式) insults:v.侮辱;辱骂(insult的第三人称单数);n.无礼;损害(insult的复数); slurs:vt.忽视; vi.含糊地发音; n.污点;
Naturally , I did not come out of the closet . 自然地,我没有出柜。
Naturally:adv.自然地;自然而然地;轻而易举;天生地;大方地; out of the closet:出柜;衣柜外面;出柜者;
The kids at my school opened it without my permission. 我同校的孩子们未经我允许打开了这个柜子。
Called me by a name I did not recognize , said " lesbian ," 给了我一个我不要的名字 “蕾丝边” 女同性恋者,
recognize:v.认识;认出;辨别出;承认;意识到; lesbian:adj.[心理]女同性恋的;n.女同性恋者;
but I was more boy than girl, more Ken than Barbie. 我比起女孩更像男孩,我更像是肯而不是芭比。
Ken:n.视野范围,见地,知识范围;
It had nothing to do with hating my body, 无关憎恨我的身体,
had nothing to do with:与…无关;
I just love it enough to let it go, 我让它离开是因为太爱它了,
I treat it like a house, and when your house is falling apart, you do not evacuate , you make it comfortable enough to house all your insides, you make it pretty enough to invite guests over, you make the floorboards strong enough to stand on. 我把身体当做一个房子, 当你的房子崩坏倒塌, 你不会撤离, 你会把它变成足够舒适能承载你的所有, 你会把它变得足够漂亮能邀请人们做客, 你会让地板变得坚硬能够平稳站立。
treat:v.治疗;处理;招待;款待;n.款待;乐事;乐趣; evacuate:v.疏散,撤退;排泄;vi.疏散;撤退;排泄; floorboards:n.[建]地板(floorboard的复数形式); v.将汽车油门踏到底(floorboard的第三人称单数形式);
My mother fears I have named myself after fading things. 我的母亲害怕我以凋谢的事物命名自己。
fading:v.(使)变淡,变暗;逐渐消失;衰退,衰落(fade的现在分词)
As she counts the echoes left behind by Mya Hall, 她数着那些名字和其身后的回响米娅·霍尔,
echoes:n.回声; v.发出回声;
Leelah Alcorn, Blake Brockington. 莉拉·奥尔康,布莱克·布鲁金顿。
Blake:n.布莱克(英国作家);
She fears that I'll die without a whisper , that I'll turn into "what a shame" conversations at the bus stop. 她害怕我会默默死去, 我会变成巴士站闲谈人们口中的“太遗憾了。”
whisper:v.耳语;低语;私语;小声说;n.耳语(声);低语(声);私语(声);轻柔的声音;
She claims I have turned myself into a mausoleum , that I am a walking casket , news headlines have turned my identity into a spectacle , 她说我已经把自己变成了陵墓, 我是一个移动的棺材, 新闻头条把我的身份变成了人间奇观,
claims:v.宣称; n.声明; (claim的第三人称单数和复数) mausoleum:n.陵墓;阴森森的大厦; casket:n.棺材;骨灰盒;小箱;vt.把…装进小箱;入殓; identity:n.身份;同一性,一致;特性;恒等式; spectacle:n.景象;场面;奇观;壮观;公开展示;表相,假相n.(复)眼镜;
Bruce Jenner on everyone's lips while the brutality of living in this body becomes an asterisk at the bottom of equality pages. 布鲁斯·詹娜是人们的谈资然而无情生活在他的身体里 变成平等页面下面的星标。
brutality:n.无情;残忍;暴行(需用复数形式); asterisk:n.星号;vt.注上星号;用星号标出;
No one ever thinks of us as human because we are more ghost than flesh , because people fear that my gender expression is a trick, that it exists to be perverse , that it ensnares them without their consent , that my body is a feast for their eyes and hands and once they have fed off my queer , they'll regurgitate all the parts they did not like. 没人甚至将我们视为人类 因为比起活着的人,我们更像鬼, 人们害怕我的性别像是一个诡计, 那是违反常情的, 未经同意就将他们诱捕入网, 对他们的眼睛和手而言我的身体是一场盛宴 直到他们受够了我同性恋的古怪, 他们会吐出那些他们不喜欢的部分。
ghost:n.鬼,幽灵;v.作祟于;替…捉刀;为人代笔; flesh:n.肉;肉体;v.喂肉给…;发胖; gender:n.性别; expression:n.表现,表示,表达; perverse:adj.堕落的,不正当的;倔强的;违反常情的; ensnares:vt.诱捕;诱入陷阱;进入罗网; consent:vi.同意;赞成;答应;n.同意;(意见等的)一致;赞成; feast:n.盛宴;宴会;(宗教的)节日;v.尽情享用(美味佳肴); queer:adj.奇怪的; vt.搞糟; n.同性恋者; regurgitate:vi.回流;回涌;反胃;反刍;vt.使回流;使回涌;使反刍;
They'll put me back into the closet, hang me with all the other skeletons . 他们会把我放回衣柜和其他的骨骼挂在一起。
skeletons:n.骷髅;[解剖]骨骼(skeleton的复数);流言(歌曲名);
I will be the best attraction. 我会成为最受欢迎的奇观。
Can you see how easy it is to talk people into coffins , to misspell their names on gravestones . 可以看见吗？要把人们说进棺材是多么容易的事情, 在墓碑上错误拼写他们的名字。
coffins:n.棺材;棺椁;棺木;(coffin的第三人称单数和复数) misspell:vt.拼错;vi.拼错; gravestones:n.墓碑;金属墓石(gravestone复数);
And people still wonder why there are boys rotting, they go away in high school hallways they are afraid of becoming another hashtag in a second afraid of classroom discussions becoming like judgment day and now oncoming traffic is embracing more transgender children than parents. 人们仍在寻思为什么男孩们腐烂, 他们走进高中的走廊 他们担心某一秒突然变成标签 害怕同学们的谈论变成他们的审判日 现在,更多陌生人开始拥抱变性孩童比他们的父母还要容易接受。
hallways:n.(美)走廊;门厅(hallway的复数); hashtag:n.标签; in a second:立刻,很快; judgment:n.判断;裁判;判决书;辨别力; oncoming:adj.即将到来的;接近的;新兴的;n.来临,接近; embracing:n.拥抱;v.拥抱,包含;(embrace的现在分词) transgender:n.跨性别;跨性别者;
I wonder how long it will be before the trans suicide notes start to feel redundant , before we realize that our bodies become lessons about sin way before we learn how to love them. 我不知道这要多久 直到自杀留言开始变得多余, 直到我们意识到自己的身体成为罪恶的教科书 早于我们了解如何爱自己的身体。
suicide:n.自杀;自杀行为;自杀者;adj.自杀的;v.自杀;vi.自杀; redundant:adj.多余的,过剩的;被解雇的,失业的;冗长的,累赘的;
Like God didn't save all this breath and mercy , like my blood is not the wine that washed over Jesus' feet. 就像上帝并未存有这些气息和宽容, 就像我的血液不是泼在耶稣脚上的葡萄酒。
mercy:n.仁慈,宽容;怜悯;幸运;善行;
My prayers are now getting stuck in my throat. 我的祷告卡在喉咙。
Maybe I am finally fixed, maybe I just don't care, maybe God finally listened to my prayers. 也许我终于被解救, 也许我就是不在乎, 也许上帝终于听到我的祷告。
finally:adv.终于;最终;(用于列举)最后;彻底地;
Thank you. 谢谢。
(Applause) （鼓掌）