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LauraTrice_2008-_建议我们说出感谢_
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Hi. I'm here to talk to you about the importance of praise, admiration and thank you, and having it be specific and genuine . |
嗨。我在这里要和大家谈谈 向别人表达赞美,倾佩和谢意的重要性。 并使它们听来真诚,具体。 |
admiration:n.钦佩;赞赏;羡慕;赞美; specific:adj.特殊的,特定的;明确的;详细的;[药]具有特效的;n.特性;细节;特效药; genuine:adj.真实的,真正的;诚恳的;
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And the way I got interested in this was, |
之所以我对此感兴趣 |
I noticed in myself when I was growing up, and until about a few years ago, that I would want to say thank you to someone, |
是因为我从我自己的成长中注意到 几年前, 当我想要对某个人说声谢谢时, |
I would want to praise them, |
当我想要赞美他们时, |
I would want to take in their praise of me and I'd just stop it. |
当我想接受他们对我的赞扬, 但我却没有说出口。 |
And I asked myself, why? |
我问我自己,这是为什么? |
I felt shy, I felt embarrassed . |
我感到害羞,我感到尴尬。 |
embarrassed:adj.尴尬的;窘迫的;v.使...局促不安;(embarrass的过去分词和过去式)
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And then my question became, am I the only one who does this? |
接着我产生了一个问题 难道我是唯一一个这么做的人吗? |
So I decided to investigate . |
所以我决定做些探究。 |
investigate:v.调查;研究;审查;
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I'm fortunate enough to work in the rehab facility , so I get to see people who are facing life and death with addiction . |
我非常幸运的在一家康复中心工作, 所以我可以看到那些因为上瘾而面临生与死的人。 |
fortunate:adj.幸运的;交好运的;吉利的; rehab:n.修复(等于rehabilitation);v.修复(等于rehabilitate); facility:n.设施;设备;特别装置;特色;场所;天资; addiction:n.瘾;嗜好;入迷;
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And sometimes it comes down to something as simple as, their core wound is their father died without ever saying he's proud of them. |
有时候这一切可以非常简单地归结为, 他们最核心的创伤来自于他们父亲到死都未说过“他为他们而自豪”。 |
core:n.核心;要点;果心;[计]磁心;vt.挖...的核; wound:n.创伤,伤口;v.使受伤;受伤,伤害;
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But then they hear from all the family and friends that the father told everybody else that he was proud of him, but he never told the son. |
但他们从所有其它家庭或朋友那里得知 他的父亲告诉其他人为他感到自豪, 但这个父亲从没告诉过他儿子。 |
It's because he didn't know that his son needed to hear it. |
因为他不知道他的儿子需要听到这一切。 |
So my question is, why don't we ask for the things that we need? |
因此我的问题是,为什么我们不索求我们需要的东西呢? |
I know a gentleman married for 25 years who's longing to hear his wife say, "Thank you for being the bread winner so I can stay home with the kids," |
我认识一个结婚25年的男士 渴望听到他妻子说, “感谢你为这个家在外赚钱,这样我才能在家陪伴着孩子,” |
but won't ask. |
但他从来不去问。 |
I know a woman who's good at this. |
我认识一个精于此道的女士。 |
She, once a week, meets with her husband and says, "I'd really like you to thank me for all these things I did in the house and with the kids." |
每周一次,她见到丈夫后会说, “我真的希望你为我对这个家和孩子们付出的努力而感谢我。” |
And he goes, "Oh, this is great, this is great." |
他会应和到“哦,真是太棒了,真是太棒了。” |
And praise really does have to be genuine, but she takes responsibility for that. |
赞扬别人一定要真诚, 但她对赞美承担了责任。 |
And a friend of mine, April, who I've had since kindergarten , she thanks her children for doing their chores. |
一个从我上幼儿园就一直是朋友的叫April的人, 她会感谢她的孩子们做了家务。 |
kindergarten:n.幼儿园;
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And she said, "Why wouldn't I thank it, even though they're supposed to do it?" |
她说:“为什么我不表示感谢呢,即使他们本来就要做那些事情?” |
supposed:adj.误信的;所谓的;v.认为;假设;设想;(suppose的过去分词和过去式)
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So the question is, why was I blocking it? |
因次我的问题是,为什么我不说呢? |
Why were other people blocking it? |
为什么其它人不说呢? |
Why can I say, "I'll take my steak medium rare, |
为什么我能说:“我要一块中等厚度的牛排, |
medium:n.(传播信息的)媒介;手段;工具;方法;adj.中等的;中号的;
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I need size six shoes," but I won't say, "Would you praise me this way?" |
我需要6号尺寸的鞋子,” 但我却不能说:“你可以赞扬我吗?” |
And it's because I'm giving you critical data about me. |
因为这会使我把我的重要信息与你分享。 |
critical:adj.鉴定的;[核]临界的;批评的,爱挑剔的;危险的;决定性的;评论的;
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I'm telling you where I'm insecure . |
会让我告诉了你我内心的不安。 |
insecure:adj.不安全的;不稳定的;不牢靠的;
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I'm telling you where I need your help. |
会让你认为我需要你的帮助。 |
And I'm treating you, my inner circle , like you're the enemy. |
虽然你是我最贴心的人, 我却把你当作是敌人。 |
treating:v.以…态度对待;把…看作;处理;讨论;(treat的现在分词) inner circle:n.核心集团;
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Because what can you do with that data? |
你会用我托付给你的重要信息做些什么呢? |
You could neglect me. |
你可以忽视我。 |
neglect:v.忽视;忽略;疏忽;疏于照顾;n.忽视;忽略;未被重视;
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You could abuse it. |
你可以滥用它。 |
abuse:n.滥用;虐待;辱骂;弊端;恶习,陋习;v.滥用;虐待;辱骂;
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Or you could actually meet my need. |
或者你可以满足我的要求。 |
And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this -- same bike, and they'd do something called "truing" the wheels. |
我把我的自行车拿到车行--我喜欢这么做-- 同样的自行车,他们会对车轮做整形。 |
The guy said, "You know, when you true the wheels, it's going to make the bike so much better." |
那里的人说:“当你对车轮做整形时, 它会使自行车变成更好。” |
I get the same bike back, and they've taken all the little warps out of those same wheels |
我把这辆自行车拿回来, 他们把有小小弯曲的铁丝从轮子上拿走 |
warps:n.[纺]经纱(warp的复数); v.弄歪;
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I've had for two and a half years, and my bike is like new. |
这辆车我用了2年半,现在还像新的一样。 |
So I'm going to challenge all of you. |
所以我要问在场的所有人, |
I want you to true your wheels: be honest about the praise that you need to hear. |
我希望你们把你们的车轮整形一下: 真诚面对对你们想听到的赞美。 |
What do you need to hear? Go home to your wife, go ask her, what does she need? |
你们想听到什么呢? 回家问问你们的妻子,她想听到什么? |
Go home to your husband -- what does he need? |
回家问问你们的丈夫,他想听到什么? |
Go home and ask those questions and then help the people around you. |
回家问问这些问题,并帮助身边的人实现它们。 |
And it's simple. |
非常简单。 |
And why should we care about this? |
为什么要关心这个呢? |
We talk about world peace. |
我们谈论世界和平。 |
How can we have world peace with different cultures, different languages? |
我们怎么用不同的文化,不同的语言来保持世界和平? |
I think it starts household by household, under the same roof. |
我想要从每个小家庭开始。 |
household:n.家庭;一家人;同住一所(或一套)房子的人;adj.家庭的;家常的;王室的;
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So let's make it right in our own backyard . |
所以让我们在家里就把这件事情做好。 |
backyard:n.后院;后庭;
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And I want to thank all of you in the audience for being great husbands, great mothers, friends, daughters, sons. |
我想要感谢所有在这里的人们 因为你们是好丈夫,好母亲, 好伙伴,好女儿和好儿子。 |
And maybe somebody's never said that to you, but you've done a really, really good job. |
或许有些人从没跟你们说过 但你们已经做得非常非常得出色了。 |
And thank you for being here, just showing up and changing the world with your ideas. |
感谢你们来到这里, 向世界显示着你们的智慧,并用它们改变着世界。 |
Thank you. |
谢谢。 |
(Applause) |
(鼓掌) |