返回首页

KitraCahana_2014P-_我的父亲，身受禁锢却自由翱翔_
I know a man who soars above the city every night. 我認識一個人,
soars:v.上升;高耸(soar的第三人称单数);n.翱翔;猛增的程度(soar的复数);
In his dreams, he twirls and swirls with his toes kissing the Earth. 在他的夢裡,翩翩起舞, 腳趾親吻著大地。
twirls:n.旋转的东西; v.使快速旋转; swirls:n.旋涡; v.使旋转(swirl的第三人称单数形式); toes:n.脚趾;足尖部;有…脚趾的;v.用脚尖走;(toe的第三人称单数和复数)
Everything has motion , he claims , even a body as paralyzed as his own. 萬物皆動,他如此宣告, 縱使全身麻痺如他。
motion:n.动作;移动;手势;请求;意向;议案;v.运动;打手势; claims:v.宣称; n.声明; (claim的第三人称单数和复数) paralyzed:adj.瘫痪的;麻痹的;v.使麻痹;使无力;使失去勇气(paralyze的过去分词);
This man is my father. 他,就是我的父親。
Three years ago, when I found out that my father had suffered a severe stroke in his brain stem , 三年前,當我發現 父親發生嚴重的腦幹中風,
severe:adj.极为恶劣的;十分严重的;严厉的;苛刻的; stroke:n.中风;笔画;钟声;抚摩;v.抚摩(动物的毛皮);轻抚;轻挪;轻触; stem:n.花草的茎或梗;高脚酒杯的脚;烟斗柄;词干;v.阻止;封堵;遏止;
I walked into his room in the ICU at the Montreal Neurological Institute and found him lying deathly still, tethered to a breathing machine. 我走進他的加護病房, 在蒙特婁神經學研究中心, 我發現他癱瘓在病床上, 戴著呼吸器,
Montreal:n.蒙特利尔(加拿大东南部港市); Neurological:adj.神经病学的,神经学上的; Institute:v.开始(调查);制定;创立;提起(诉讼);n.学会,协会;学院; deathly:adj.死一般的;致命的;adv.死了一样地;非常; tethered:v.拴(牲畜);(tether的过去式和过去分词)
Paralysis had closed over his body slowly, beginning in his toes, then legs, torso , fingers and arms. 麻痺緩慢地封閉他的身體, 從腳趾開始,接著是腿, 軀幹、手指和手臂,
Paralysis:n.麻痹;无力;停顿; torso:n.躯干;裸体躯干雕像;未完成的作品;残缺不全的东西;
It made its way up his neck, cutting off his ability to breathe, and stopped just beneath the eyes. 一路麻痺到脖子, 阻斷了他的呼吸能力, 繼續上行到眼睛下方才停止。
beneath:prep.在…之下;adv.在下方;
He never lost consciousness . 他從沒有失去意識,
consciousness:n.意识;知觉;觉悟;感觉;
Rather, he watched from within as his body shut down, limb by limb, muscle by muscle. 而是從內在觀看這一切, 看著自己的身體停機, 四肢從腳到手, 肌肉一條接著一條。
limb:n.肢,臂;分支;枝干;v.切断…的手足;从…上截下树枝; muscle:n.肌肉;力量;v.加强;使劲搬动;使劲挤出;
In that ICU room, I walked up to my father's body, and with a quivering voice and through tears, 在加護病房裡,我走向父親的身體, 我的聲音顫抖,眼淚奔流,
quivering:v.轻微颤动;抖动;抽动;哆嗦;(quiver的现在分词)
I began reciting the alphabet. 開始逐一唸出英文字母:
reciting:v.背诵,吟诵,朗诵;列举;逐一讲述;(recite的现在分词)
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, A、B、C、
H, I, J, K. H、I、J、K,
At K, he blinked his eyes. 唸到 K,他眨了一下眼睛。
blinked:vt.眨眼;使…闪烁;vi.眨眼;闪烁;n.眨眼;瞬间;闪光;
I began again. 然後我再從頭開始,
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, A、B、C、
H, I. H、I,
He blinked again at the letter I, then at T, then at R, and A: 唸到 I,他又眨了一下眼睛。 接著是 T,
Kitra. Kitra,我的名字。
He said "Kitra, my beauty, don't cry. 他說:「Kitra,我美麗的孩子,別哭,
This is a blessing." 這...是個祝福。」
There was no audible voice, but my father called out my name powerfully . 父親並沒有發出聲音,
audible:adj.听得见的;听得见地; powerfully:adv.强大地;强烈地;非常;
Just 72 hours after his stroke, he had already embraced the totality of his condition. 中風後才短短 72 個小時, 他已經欣然接受了整件事實。
embraced:v.拥抱;欣然接受,乐意采纳;信奉;包含;(embrace的过去分词和过去式) totality:n.[天]全食;全体;总数;
Despite his extreme physical state, he was completely present with me, guiding, nurturing , and being my father as much if not more than ever before. 儘管身體極度受挫, 他卻完全與我同在, 引導我, 做我的父親,絲毫不減, 甚至更甚以往。
Despite:prep.尽管,不管;n.轻视;憎恨;侮辱; extreme:adj.极端的;极度的;偏激的;尽头的;n.极端;末端;最大程度;极端的事物; physical:adj.[物]物理的;身体的;物质的;符合自然法则的;n.体格检查; nurturing:v.养育;培养;扶持;支持;助长;(nurture的现在分词)
Locked-in syndrome is many people's worst nightmare . 「閉鎖症候群」 是許多人最恐懼的夢靨,
Locked-in:adj.牢固的,锁定的; syndrome:n.[临床]综合征;综合症状;并发症状;校验子;并发位; nightmare:n.恶梦;梦魇般的经历;adj.可怕的;噩梦似的;
In French, it's sometimes called "maladie de l'emmuré vivant." 法文有時稱這種狀態為:
Literally , "walled-in-alive disease ." 意思是:「活生生被圍牆禁錮的疾病」。
Literally:adv.按字面:字面上:确实地: disease:n.病,[医]疾病;弊病;vt.传染;使…有病;
For many people, perhaps most, paralysis is an unspeakable horror , but my father's experience losing every system of his body was not an experience of feeling trapped , but rather of turning the psyche inwards , dimming down the external chatter , facing the recesses of his own mind, and in that place, falling in love with life and body anew . 對許多人來說,或許是絕大多數, 癱瘓是無以言喻的驚駭。 但是我父親的經驗, 雖然他喪失了全身的功能, 卻不覺得受困, 反而轉向內觀, 靜下外在的擾嚷, 面對自己心靈的潛默。 然後在那深處, 愛上新的生命和身體。
unspeakable:adj.无法形容的;不能以言语表达的;坏透了的; horror:n.恐惧;厌恶;震惊;对某事物的强烈畏惧(或憎恨); trapped:adj.受困的;受限制的;v.使落入险境;使陷入困境;(trap的过去分词和过去式) psyche:n.灵魂;心智; inwards:adv.向内地;向中心地; dimming:n.调光;变暗;v.变暗(dim的现在分词); external:n.外部;外观;形式;外部情况;adj.外部的;外面的;外界的;外来的; chatter:v.打颤;卡嗒地响;瞎谈;(鸟等)鸣;n.饶舌;卡嗒声;啁啾; recesses:深处; anew:重新,再
As a rabbi and spiritual man dangling between mind and body, life and death, the paralysis opened up a new awareness for him. 父親是位拉比,和屬靈的人, 擺盪在身與心、生與死之間, 癱瘓為他開啟了新的意識,
rabbi:n.拉比(犹太人的学者);法师;犹太教律法专家;先生; spiritual:n.圣歌(尤指美国南部黑人的);adj.精神的,心灵的; dangling:v.悬垂;悬挂;提着;来回摆动着;(dangle的现在分词) awareness:n.意识,认识;明白,知道;
He realized he no longer needed to look beyond the corporeal world in order to find the divine . 他領悟到自己不再需要 超越肉體世界, 才能追尋神聖。
corporeal:adj.物质的,有形的;肉体的; divine:adj.神圣的;非凡的;天赐的;极好的;v.占卜;预言;用占卜勘探;n.牧师;神学家;
'" Paradise is in this body. 「天堂就在這個身體裡面,
Paradise:n.天堂;至福境地;
It's in this world," he said. 就在這個世界。」 他說。
I slept by my father's side for the first four months, tending as much as I could to his every discomfort , understanding the deep human psychological fear of not being able to call out for help. 頭四個月,我睡在父親身邊, 盡我所能地照顧他, 減輕他所有的不適; 了解那種深層人性心理恐懼, 害怕無法求救。
discomfort:n.不适,不安;不便之处;vt.使…不舒服;使…不安; psychological:adj.心理的;心理学的;精神上的;
My mother, sisters, brother and I, we surrounded him in a cocoon of healing . 我的母親、姊妹、弟弟和我, 我們圍著父親,形成醫治的蛹。
cocoon:n.茧;卵囊;vt.把…紧紧包住; healing:n.康复; adj.痊愈中的; v.(使)康复,复原; (heal的现在分词)
We became his mouthpiece , spending hours each day reciting the alphabet as he whispered back sermons and poetry with blinks of his eye. 我們變成他的發話筒, 每天好幾個小時唸字母, 寫下父親藉著眨眼,悄訴出來的講道和詩作。
mouthpiece:n.喉舌;代言人;送话口; sermons:n.布道;讲道;冗长的说教;(sermon的复数) poetry:n.诗;诗意,诗情;诗歌艺术; blinks:n.闪光小鸡草;水生小鸡草;小繁缕;闪光繁缕;
His room, it became our temple of healing. 他的病房,化身為我們醫治的殿堂。
His bedside became a site for those seeking advice and spiritual counsel , and through us, my father was able to speak and uplift , letter by letter, blink by blink. 他的床畔,安慰著前來尋求建議 和屬靈輔導的人。透過我們, 父親可以說話, 昇華心靈, 一個字母又一個字母, 一眨眼再一眨眼。
bedside:n.床边,床旁;adj.床旁的,枕边的; site:n.地点;位置;场所;v.设置;为…选址; seeking:v.寻找;寻求;谋求;争取;(向人)请求(seek的现在分词) counsel:n.劝告,忠告,建议;法律顾问;律师;vt.提供专业咨询;建议,劝告(做某事) uplift:vt.提高;抬起;vi.提高;上升;升起;n.举起,抬起;道德的向上;精神的高涨;
Everything in our world became slow and tender as the din , drama and death of the hospital ward faded into the background. 我們的世界裡,一切都變得緩慢而溫柔, 讓醫院病房的喧囂、瘋狂、死亡 淡褪下去。
tender:v.投标;提供;提出;n.投标;(蒸汽机车的)煤水车;adj.和善的;温柔的;亲切的; din:vt.喧闹,絮絮不休地说;vi.喧闹,絮絮不休地说;n.喧嚣; drama:n.戏剧;戏剧艺术;戏剧文学;戏剧性事件; faded:adj.已褪色的;已凋谢的;
I want to read to you one of the first things that we transcribed in the week following the stroke. 我想朗讀父親中風後第一個禮拜, 我們聽寫下來的內容。
transcribed:转录;
He composed a letter, addressing his synagogue congregation , and ended it with the following lines: "When my nape exploded , 他寫了一封信, 給教堂的會眾, 信末的幾句話是: 「當我的項頸炸開,
composed:adj.由…组成的; v.组成; (compose的过去分词和过去式) synagogue:n.犹太教会堂;犹太人集会; congregation:n.集会;集合;圣会; nape:n.颈背;项; exploded:adj.分解的; v.爆炸; (explode的过去分词和过去式)
I entered another dimension : inchoate , sub-planetary, protozoan. 我進入了另一個次元: 初生,俯瞰塵世,細微,
dimension:n.方面;[数]维;尺寸;次元;容积vt.标出尺寸;adj.规格的; inchoate:adj.早期的;刚开始的;未充分发展的;vt.开始;vi.开始;
Universes are opened and closed continually . 一個個宇宙開啟、封閉,生生不息,
Universes:语义层;此生彼世; continually:adv.不断地;频繁地;
There are many when low, who stop growing. 很多人在生命的低谷 停止成長。
Last week, I was brought so low, but I felt the hand of my father around me, and my father brought me back." 上星期,我被擊打到如此卑微, 但我感覺到父神的手扶住我, 我的父神把我帶了回來。」
When we weren't his voice, we were his legs and arms. 沒有做他的聲音時, 我們是他的雙腳和雙臂。
I moved them like I know I would have wanted my own arms and legs to be moved were they still for all the hours of the day. 我移動他的臂膀, 假想我若整天動彈不得時 會希望得到的舒展。
I remember I'd hold his fingers near my face, bending each joint to keep it soft and limber . 我記得我把他的手指拉近我的臉, 幫他彎曲每一個關節,以保持柔軟彈性。
joint:n.关节; adj.共同的; v.连接,贴合; limber:adj.柔软的;敏捷的;vt.使柔软;将接在前车上;vi.做准备活动;
I'd ask him again and again to visualize the motion, to watch from within as the finger curled and extended , and to move along with it in his mind. 我不斷地請他 想像這個動作, 從體內看著每根手指彎曲, 再打開,用意念跟著手指一起動。
again and again:adv.再三地,反复地; visualize:vt.形象,形象化;想像,设想;vi.显现; curled:adj.卷曲的;鬈发的;v.[纸]卷曲;环绕(curl的过去分词); extended:adj.延长了的;扩展了的;v.使伸长;扩大;扩展;(extend的过去式和过去分词)
Then, one day, from the corner of my eye, 有一天,我眼睛的餘光
I saw his body slither like a snake, an involuntary spasm passing through the course of his limbs . 看見他的身體曲行如蛇, 不自主的痙攣流竄過四肢。
slither:vi.蜿蜒地滑行;vt.使滑动;n.滑动;滑行; involuntary:adj.无意识的;自然而然的;不知不觉的; spasm:n.[临床]痉挛;抽搐;一阵发作; limbs:n.[解剖]四肢(limb的复数);
At first, I thought it was my own hallucination , having spent so much time tending to this one body, so desperate to see anything react on its own. 剛開始,我以為是自己的錯覺, 花了這麼多時間照料這癱瘓的身軀, 迫切想看到任何東西自己動起來。
hallucination:n.幻觉,幻想;错觉; desperate:adj.不顾一切的;令人绝望的;极度渴望的; react:v.起反应;回应;(对食物等)有不良反应,过敏;起化学反应;
But he told me he felt tingles , sparks of electricity flickering on and off just beneath the surface of the skin. 但是他告訴我他有感覺到蜇麻, 斷斷續續的電流 搔著他的皮下。
tingles:vi.感到刺痛;(耳朵等)鸣响;vt.刺痛;使激动;n.刺痛感;激动;鸣响; sparks:n.(船或飞机上的)无线电通信师; electricity:n.电力;电流;强烈的紧张情绪; flickering:adj.扑动的; v.闪现; (flicker的现在分词)
The following week, he began ever so slightly to show muscle resistance . 接下來的一週,他開始出現極其微弱的肌肉抗力,
slightly:adv.些微地,轻微地;纤细地; resistance:n.电阻;抵抗;阻力;抗力;
Connections were being made. 刺激和反應開始有連結,
Body was slowly and gently reawakening , limb by limb, muscle by muscle, twitch by twitch. 身體柔緩地甦醒, 四肢一個接著一個, 抽動一下接著一下。
gently:adv.轻轻地;温柔地;温和地; reawakening:vt.苏醒;再度觉醒(reawaken的现在分词形式); twitch:n.抽搐;抽动;痉挛;阵痛;vi.抽搐;抽动;阵痛;vt.使抽动;攫取;猛拉;
As a documentary photographer, 身為紀實攝影師,
I felt the need to photograph each of his first movements like a mother with her newborn . 我覺得必須拍下 他的每一個初始動作, 像母親一樣地記錄新生嬰兒。
newborn:adj.新生的;再生的;n.婴儿;
I photographed him taking his first unaided breath, the celebratory moment after he showed muscle resistance for the very first time, the new adapted technologies that allowed him to gain more and more independence . 我拍下他第一口不需輔助的呼吸、 肌肉抗力乍現帶給我們的歡欣時刻、 以及幫助他更獨立自主的新技術。
unaided:adj.未受协助的;无助的; celebratory:adj.庆祝的;庆贺的;快乐的; adapted:adj.适于…的; v.使适应,使适合; (adapt的过去分词和过去式) technologies:n.技术;科技(technology的复数); independence:n.独立;独立性;自恃心;独立不羁的精神;
I photographed the care and the love that surrounded him. 我拍下圍繞著他的愛與照料。
But my photographs only told the outside story of a man lying in a hospital bed attached to a breathing machine. 但是我只拍得到外在的故事, 述說一個身臥病榻, 接著呼吸器的人。
attached:adj.依恋;v.重视;把…固定;(attach的过去分词和过去式)
I wasn't able to portray his story from within, and so I began to search for a new visual language, one which strived to express the ephemeral quality of his spiritual experience. 我無法刻劃他內在的故事, 所以我開始尋找一種新的視覺語言, 努力表達父親精神世界那種瞬息即逝的感覺。
portray:vt.描绘;扮演; strived:vi.努力;奋斗;抗争; express:v.表达; adj.特快的; n.特快列车; v.使用快速服务; ephemeral:adj.短暂的;朝生暮死的;n.只生存一天的事物;
Finally , I want to share with you a video from a series that I've been working on that tries to express the slow, in-between existence that my father has experienced. 最後,我想分享 最近創作的一系列影片之一, 試圖表達父親滯留生死之間的緩慢存在。
Finally:adv.终于;最终;(用于列举)最后;彻底地; series:n.系列,连续;[电]串联;级数;丛书; in-between:n.中间人;中间存在者;局中的物体;adj.中间的;
As he began to regain his ability to breathe, 當他漸漸恢復呼吸的能力,
regain:vt.再次得到;重新获得,恢复;返回;n.恢复;收复;收回
I started recording his thoughts, and so the voice that you hear in this video is his voice. 我開始錄下他的思緒, 所以這支影片中講話的是他:
(Video) Ronnie Cahana: You have to believe you're paralyzed to play the part of a quadriplegic . 「你必須相信 自己絲毫不能動彈, 才能扮演 一個四肢癱瘓的人。
quadriplegic:n.四肢瘫痪者;adj.四肢瘫痪的;
I don't. 但我不相信。
In my mind, and in my dreams every night 在我的腦海中, 在我的夢境裡, 夜夜,
I Chagall-man float over the city twirl and swirl with my toes kissing the floor. 我化身夏卡爾畫中人物,飄浮起來, 俯瞰城市, 翩翩飛舞, 腳趾親吻著大地。
I know nothing about the statement of man without motion. 我完全不知道 何謂無法動彈的人。
statement:n.声明;陈述,叙述;报表,清单;
Everything has motion. 萬物皆動。
The heart pumps . 心會跳動,
pumps:n.[机]泵; v.用泵送;
The body heaves . 身體會喘息,
heaves:n.(马的)[兽医]肺气肿; v.举起;
The mouth moves. 嘴巴會張合。
We never stagnate . 我們永遠不會停滯不前,
stagnate:vi.停滞;淤塞;变萧条;vt.使淤塞;使沉滞;使萧条;
Life triumphs up and down. 生命的勝利,高低起伏。」
triumphs:n.巨大成功; v.打败; (triumph的第三人称单数和复数)
Kitra Cahana: For most of us, our muscles begin to twitch and move long before we are conscious, but my father tells me his privilege is living on the far periphery of the human experience. 對我們多數人來說, 我們的肌肉開始抽扭運動, 過一陣子才會意識到。 但是父親告訴我,他的奇異恩典是 能夠活在人類生命經驗的邊陲。
muscles:n.肌肉(muscle的复数); privilege:n.特权;优待;v.给与…特权;特免; periphery:n.外围,边缘;圆周;圆柱体表面;
Like an astronaut who sees a perspective that very few of us will ever get to share, he wonders and watches as he takes his first breaths and dreams about crawling back home. 就像太空人有幸欣賞 極少人得以看見的景致, 他驚奇地看著自己重新呼吸, 並且夢想著爬回家門。
perspective:n.观点;远景;透视图;adj.透视的; crawling:v.爬行;匍匐行进;(crawl的现在分词)
So begins life at 57, he says. 他說,就這樣人生從 57 歲開始。
A toddler has no attitude in its being, but a man insists on his world every day. 幼童對生命的態度還沒有形成, 但是一個成人每天都決定著自己的世界。
toddler:n.学步的小孩;幼童装; attitude:n.态度;看法;意见;姿势;
Few of us will ever have to face physical limitations to the degree that my father has, but we will all have moments of paralysis in our lives. 僅極少數人被迫面對 像我父親這麼極端的身體限制, 但我們都會經歷生命中的停滯。
limitations:n.局限性;(限制)因素;边界(limitation的复数形式);
I know I frequently confront walls that feel completely unscalable , but my father insists that there are no dead ends. 我知道我就常常面對生命的圍牆, 感覺完全無法超越。 但是我的父親堅持, 生命沒有死胡同。
frequently:adv.频繁地,经常地;时常,屡次; confront:v.直面;无法回避;降临于;处理;对抗; unscalable:adj.不能攀登的;
Instead, he invites me into his space of co-healing to give the very best of myself, and for him to give the very best of himself to me. 相反的,他邀請我進入共同療癒的空間, 讓我展現最好的自己, 而他,也給我最好的父親。
Paralysis was an opening for him. 癱瘓對他而言,是個開端,
It was an opportunity to emerge , to rekindle life force , to sit still long enough with himself so as to fall in love with the full continuum of creation . 是生命湧現的契機, 重獲生命的力量, 安靜地獨坐, 久到可以愛上創造的永恆。
emerge:v.浮现;显现;暴露;露出真相; rekindle:v.使重新活跃;使复苏; life force:n.生命力; fall in love with:爱上......;与......相爱; continuum:n.[数]连续统;[经]连续统一体;闭联集; creation:n.创造,创作;创作物,产物;
Today, my father is no longer locked in. 現在,父親已經脫離桎梏,
He moves his neck with ease, has had his feeding peg removed, breathes with his own lungs, speaks slowly with his own quiet voice, and works every day to gain more movement in his paralyzed body. 可以自由地轉動脖子, 也不再需要餵食管, 可以用自己的肺呼吸, 用自己平靜的嗓音慢慢地說話。 每天努力復健, 讓癱瘓的身體增加更多的活動。
peg:n.楔子; v.用夹子夹住;
But the work will never be finished. 但是這工作永遠不會結束。
As he says, "I'm living in a broken world, and there is holy work to do." 正如他所說: 還有神聖的工作要做。」
Thank you. 謝謝。
(Applause) （觀眾掌聲）