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JeanPaulMari_2015X-_与死亡轻触后的冰冷余震_
It was April 8, 2003. 2003年4月8日。
I was in Baghdad , covering the war in Iraq. 我在巴格达,报道伊拉克战争。
Baghdad:n.巴格达(伊拉克首都);
That day, Americans tanks started arriving in Baghdad. 在那天,美国坦克进入巴格达。
We were just a few journalists in the Palestine Hotel, and, as happens in war, the fighting began to approach outside our windows. 而当时我们只是住在巴勒斯坦酒店的几个新闻工作者, 战争正在打响, 对我们来说,战事开始逼近我们的窗外。
journalists:n.新闻记者(journalist的复数); approach:n.方法;路径;v.接近;建议;着手处理;
Baghdad was covered in black smoke and oil. 巴格达被黑雾和汽油掩盖。
It smelled awful. 气味十分难闻
We couldn't see a thing, but we knew what was happening. 虽然什么都看不到,但我们知道发生了什么。
Of course, I was supposed to be writing an article, but that's how it always goes -- you're supposed to be writing and something big happens. 那时我当然应该在写报道 但事态总是这样-- 你应该在写报道,然后大事发生了。
supposed:adj.误信的;所谓的;v.认为;假设;设想;(suppose的过去分词和过去式)
So I was in my room on the 16th floor, writing and looking out the window every now and then to see what was happening. 所以当时我在16楼的房间里, 一边写一边不时走到窗前 看看外面在发生什么事。
every now and then:不时地;常常;
Suddenly, there was a huge explosion . 而就此时,突然发生了巨大的爆炸,
explosion:n.爆炸;爆发;激增;
During the previous three weeks, there had been shelling with half-ton missiles , but this time, the shock -- 在之前3个星期里, 那里有大约半吨导弹弹壳, 但是这次震动--
previous:adj.以前的;早先的;过早的;adv.在先;在…以前; shelling:n.去皮;去壳;v.剥去…的外壳;向…开枪;脱落(shell的ing形式); missiles:n.导弹;发射物;投掷物;(missile的复数)
I felt it inside of me, and I thought, "It's very close. 我从体内感觉到它, 我想,“这离我太近了。
It's very, very close." 真的非常,非常近。”
So I went down to see what was happening. 所以我下楼去看发生了什么事。
I went down to the 15th floor to take a look. 我到了15楼 四下看看。
And I saw people, journalists, screaming in the hallways . 我看到很多人,记者们,在走廊里尖叫。
hallways:n.(美)走廊;门厅(hallway的复数);
I walked into a room and realized that it had been hit by a missile. 我走进一个房间里 意识到那里被导弹袭击了。
Someone had been wounded . 有人受伤了。
wounded:adj.受伤的; n.伤员; v.使受伤; (wound的过去分词和过去式)
There was a man near the window, a cameraman named Taras Protsyuk, lying face-down. 有一个人靠在窗边, 他是一个叫塔拉斯 普罗斯特斯雅克的摄像师, 面向地面躺着。
cameraman:n.摄影师;照相师;摄影记者; Taras:n.塔拉斯(爱尔兰村庄);
Having worked in a hospital before, I wanted to help out. 因为我在医院工作过,我希望能够帮助。
So I turned him over. 我把他翻过来。
And when I turned him over, 在我这样做的时候,
I noticed that he was open from sternum to pubis , but I couldn't see anything, nothing at all. 我注意到他的身体从胸骨到趾骨都伤裂了, 但是我什么也没有发现,什么也没有。
sternum:n.[解剖]胸骨;[昆]胸板; pubis:n.耻骨;前胸侧部;
All I saw was a white, pearly , shiny spot that blinded me, and I didn't understand what was going on. 我能看见的,只是一个白色,珍珠一样闪光的斑点,无法直视, 而且我也并不明白到底发生了什么。
pearly:adj.珍贵的;珍珠似的;生产珍珠的;用珍珠装饰的; shiny:adj.闪亮的;光亮的;反光的;有光泽的;
Once the spot disappeared and I could see his wound, which was very serious, my buddies and I put a sheet underneath him, and we carried him onto an elevator that stopped at each of the 15 floors. 污点消退后,我能看到他的伤口, 伤得非常严重, 我和我的同伴在他身体底下面了一张床单, 我们把他抬进电梯间,下降过程中在每层楼都停了一次。
disappeared:adj.消失的;消失了的;v.消失,失踪;(disappear的过去式和过去分词) buddies:n.伙伴,好朋友;v.交朋友;(buddy的第三人称单数和复数) sheet:n.薄板;床单;纸张;报纸;v.覆盖;展开;给…铺床单;铺开;adj.片状的; underneath:prep.在…的下面;在…的支配下;n.下面;底部;adj.下面的;底层的; elevator:n.电梯;升降机;升降舵;起卸机;
We put him in a car that took him to the hospital. 我们把他送进车里,然后把他送去了医院。
He died on the way to the hospital. 他在去医院的路上死了。
The Spanish cameraman José Couso, who was on the 14th floor and also hit -- because the shell had exploded between the two floors -- died on the operating table . 当时住在14楼的西班牙摄影师何塞 库索,也遭遇轰炸-- 因为当时炸弹在两层楼中间爆炸-- 他死在手术台上。
exploded:adj.分解的; v.爆炸; (explode的过去分词和过去式) operating table:n.手术台;
As soon as the car left, I went back. 车开走了以后,我回到酒店里。
As soon as:一…就;
There was that article I was supposed to write -- which I had to write. 当时有一篇我要交的报道-- 我应该写稿。
And so -- 所以--
I returned to the hotel lobby with my arms covered in blood, when one of the hotel gofers stopped me and asked me to pay the tax I hadn't paid for 10 days. 我回到酒店大堂,双臂沾满鲜血, 一名酒店勤杂工拦住我 让我缴纳10天没交的税款。
lobby:n.大堂;门厅;民众接待厅;游说;v.游说(从政者或政府);
I told him to get lost. 我叫他到别的地方去。
And I said to myself: "Clear your head, put it all aside. 然后我对自己说:“让自己清醒,别被影响。
If you want to write, you need to put it all aside." 如果你想继续写稿,就要放下这件事。”
And that's what I did. 我就这么做了。
I went upstairs, wrote my article and sent it off. 我走上楼,写完了报道,交了出去。
Later, aside from the feeling of having lost my colleagues , something else was bothering me. 后来,除了一种失去同事的感觉, 我还觉得被别的什么困扰。
colleagues:n.同事;同行(colleague的复数); bothering:v.使某人烦恼或担忧;打扰;(bother的现在分词)
I kept seeing that shiny, pearly spot, and I couldn't understand what it meant. 我总是看见那个珍珠一样闪光的斑点, 我不懂那代表着什么意思。
And then, the war was over. 后来,战争结束了。
Later, I thought: "That's not possible. I can't just not know what happened." 后来我想:“不可能啊,我不可能不知道发生了什么。”
Because it wasn't the first time, and it didn't only happen to me. 因为那不仅是第一回,也不仅发生在我身上。
I have seen things like that happen to others in my 20 to 35 years of reporting. 在我20到35年的记者生涯中, 我见过别人身上发生这样的事。
I have seen things that had an effect on me too. 我也见过对我造成影响的事。
For example, there was this man I knew in Lebanon , a 25-year-old veteran who had been fighting for five years -- a real veteran -- who we would follow everywhere. 比如说我以前认识一个黎巴嫩 25岁的退伍军人,当过5年兵-- 一个真正的老兵--我们一路跟着他。
Lebanon:n.黎巴嫩(西南亚国家,位于地中海东岸); veteran:n.老兵; adj.(尤指军事方面)老练的;
He would crawl in the dark with confidence -- he was a great soldier, a true soldier -- so we would follow him, knowing that we would be safe with him. 他能自信地在黑暗中摸索前进-- 他是一个伟大的士兵,一个真正的士兵-- 所以我们跟着他,因为跟着他很安全。
crawl:v.爬;匍匐行进;(昆虫)爬行;缓慢行进;n.爬泳;缓慢的速度;自由泳; confidence:n.信心;信任;秘密;adj.(美)诈骗的;骗得信任的;
And one day, as I was told -- and I've seen him again since -- he was back in the camp, playing cards, when someone came in next door, and discharged their weapon. 有一天,我被告知-- 而且后来我还见过他-- 他回到营地,在玩牌, 有人从隔壁进来, 卸下他们的武器。
discharged:v.准许(某人)离开;解雇;释放;排出;(discharge的过去分词和过去式)
As the gun went off, that blast , that one shot, made him duck quickly under the table , like a child. 枪击开始后, 那声爆炸,那一击,让他快速藏到桌子下面, 像个小孩。
blast:n.爆炸; v.爆破; under the table:adj.暗中进行的;秘密的;不法的;
He was shaking, panicking . 他颤抖着,十分震惊。
panicking:v.(使)惊慌,惊慌失措;(panic的现在分词)
And since then, he has never been able to get up and fight. 从那以后,他再也不能重新起来战斗。
He ended up working as a croupier in a Beirut casino where I later found him, because he couldn't sleep, so it was quite a suitable job. 后来他做了赌场管理 后来我是在一个贝鲁特赌场里找到他的, 因为他容易失眠,那正好是一个合适的工作。
croupier:n.副主持人;赌场上的总管理人; Beirut:n.贝鲁特(黎巴嫩一港口); suitable:adj.合适的;适宜的;适当的;适用的;
So I thought to myself, "What is this thing that can kill you without leaving any visible scars? 我就想, “到底是什么可以杀死你 却不留任何痕迹？
visible:adj.明显的;看得见的;现有的;可得到的;n.可见物;进出口贸易中的有形项目;
How does that happen? 这是怎么发生的？
What is this unknown thing?" 这种未知的东西到底是什么？”
It was too common to be coincidental . 这比巧合寻常多了。
coincidental:adj.巧合的;符合的;暗合的;一致的;
So I started to investigate -- that's all I know how to do. 所以我开始研究-- 这是我力所能及的。
investigate:v.调查;研究;审查;
I started to investigate by looking through books, reaching out to psychiatrists , going to museums, libraries, etc. 我开始做调查 寻找书目, 探访心理医师, 去博物馆,图书馆,等等。
psychiatrists:n.精神病学家;精神科医生;(psychiatrist的复数)
Finally , I discovered that some people knew about this -- often military psychiatrists -- and that what we were dealing with was called trauma . 终于,我发现有些人了解这个-- 大部分是军中心理医师-- 我们讨论的现象称为（心理）创伤。
Finally:adv.终于;最终;(用于列举)最后;彻底地; military:adj.军事的;军人的;适于战争的;n.军队;军人; trauma:n.[外科]创伤(由心理创伤造成精神上的异常);外伤;
Americans call it PTSD or traumatic neurosis . 在美国它被称作PTSD,或者创伤性神经症。
PTSD:abbr.创伤后精神紧张性精神障碍(post-traumaticstressdisorder); traumatic:adj.外伤的;创伤的;n.外伤药; neurosis:n.[心理]神经症;神经衰弱症;
It was something that existed, but that we never spoke about. 这是一种 存在的现象, 只是我们从来不公开讨论它。
So, this trauma -- what is it? 所以,这种创伤-- 到底是什么？
Well, it's an encounter with death. 它是一次与死亡的接触。
encounter:v.遭遇,邂逅;遇到;n.遭遇,偶然碰见;
I don't know if you've ever had an experience with death -- 我不知道你们有没有与死亡接触的经历。
I'm not talking about dead bodies, or someone's grandfather lying in a hospital bed, or someone who got hit by a car. 我不是说（接触）尸体, 不是说谁的爷爷躺在医院病床上, 也不是说哪个遭遇过车祸的人。
I'm talking about facing the void of death. 我说的是面对死亡的空虚感。
void:adj.空的;无效的;无人的;n.空虚;空间;空隙;v.使无效;排放;
And that is something no one is supposed to see. 这是任何人都不应该接触到的。
People used to say, "Neither the sun, nor death can be looked at with a steady eye." 人们曾说, “死亡和阳光都不能用肉眼直视。”
steady:adj.稳定的; v.使稳定; v.稳定地; n.关系固定的情侣;
A human being should not have to face the void of death. 一个人不应该去面对死亡的空虚感。
But when that happens, it can remain invisible for a while -- days, weeks, months, sometimes years. 但是当它发生的时候, 它可能会潜伏一段时间-- 几天,几个星期,几个月甚至几年。
invisible:adj.看不见的;n.看不见的人或物; for a while:adv.片刻;暂时;一会儿;一时;
And then, at some point, it explodes , because it's something that has entered your brain -- a sort of window between an image and your mind -- that has penetrated your brain, staying there and taking up all the space inside. 然后在某一时间, 它会爆发, 因为它已经进入你的大脑-- 它好比一个图像和你的意识之间的窗户, 渗透到你的脑子里, 留在那里,占据里面的空间。
explodes:v.爆炸,爆发;激增; penetrated:v.穿过;进入;渗透,打入(组织、团体等);看透(penetrate的过去分词和过去式)
And there are people -- men, women, who suddenly no longer sleep. 里面有人--男人,女人, 突然不再沉睡。
And they experience horrible anxiety attacks -- panic attacks, not just minor fears. 他们经历严重的焦虑发作-- 焦虑发作,不仅仅是一般的恐惧。
horrible:可怕的,极讨厌的, anxiety:n.焦虑;渴望;挂念;令人焦虑的事; minor:adj.未成年的; n.未成年人; vi.副修;
They suddenly don't want to sleep, because when they do, they have the same nightmare every night. 他们会突然不想睡觉, 因为他们睡觉的话,每晚会做相同的噩梦。
nightmare:n.恶梦;梦魇般的经历;adj.可怕的;噩梦似的;
They see the same image every night. 他们每晚都看见相同的场景。
What type of image? 什么样的画面？
For example, a soldier who enters a building and comes face to face with another soldier aiming at him. 举个例子,一个士兵进入大楼 和另一个正在瞄准他的士兵面对面。
He looks at the gun, straight down the barrel . 他看了看枪,顺枪筒而下。
barrel:n.桶;枪管;一桶(的量);v.飞驰;
And this barrel suddenly becomes enormous , deformed . 这个枪筒突然变大,变畸形。
enormous:adj.庞大的,巨大的;凶暴的,极恶的; deformed:adj.畸形的; v.使...残缺,使...变形(deform的过去式和过去分词形式);
It becomes fluffy , swallowing everything. 它变得毛茸茸,吞噬一切。
fluffy:adj.蓬松的;松软的;毛茸茸的;无内容的; swallowing:v.吞下;咽下;做吞咽动作;吞没;侵吞;(swallow的现在分词)
And he says -- later he will say, "I saw death. 然后他说-- 他会说,“我看见了死亡。
I saw myself dead, therefore I'm dead." 我看见我死了,所以我死了。”
And from then on , he knows he is dead. 从此以后,他知道他死了。
from then on:从那时起
It is not a perception -- he is convinced that he is dead. 这不是一种知觉,他确信他已经死了。
perception:n.感知;知觉;看法;洞察力; convinced:adj.坚信; v.使确信; (convince的过去分词和过去式)
In reality, someone came in, the guy left or didn't shoot, whatever, and he didn't actually get shot -- but to him, he died in that moment. 但现实中,有人走进来,又出去了,没有开枪之类的 他也没有真正被击中-- 但是对他来说,他在那一刻已经死了。
Or it can be the smell of a mass grave -- 可能是一种集体坟墓的气味--
mass:n.块,团; adj.群众的,民众的; v.聚集起来,聚集; grave:adj.重大的;严肃的;黯淡的;n.墓穴,坟墓;死亡;v.雕刻;铭记;
I saw a lot of that in Rwanda. 我在卢旺达见过很多。
It can be the voice of a friend calling, and they're being slaughtered and there's nothing you can do. 可能是一个朋友的呼喊声, 他正在被屠杀,你却什么也做不了。
slaughtered:v.屠宰;宰杀;屠杀;杀戮;使惨败;(slaughter的过去分词和过去式)
You hear that voice, and you wake up every night -- for weeks, months -- in a trance-like state, anxious and terrified, like a child. 你会听见那个声音, 然后你每晚都会惊醒,几个星期,甚至几个月-- 在恍惚里,焦虑又恐惧, 就像个小孩。
I have seen men cry -- just like children -- from seeing the same image. 我见过男人哭-- 就像小孩一样-- 因为总是看见那种同样的画面。
So having that image of horror in your brain, seeing the void of death -- that analogue of horror which is hiding something -- will completely take over . 所以那种恐怖的画面在脑海里, 看见那种死亡的空虚-- 和恐惧相似,在隐藏着某些事物-- 它会完全占领你。
horror:n.恐惧;厌恶;震惊;对某事物的强烈畏惧(或憎恨); analogue:n.类似物;类似情况;对等的人;adj.类似的;相似物的;模拟计算机的; take over:接管;继承;接收;接任;接替;
You cannot do anything, anything at all. 你什么也做不了。
You cannot work anymore, you cannot love anymore. 你也不能工作了, 也不能去爱。
You go home and don't recognize anyone. 你回到家,但谁也不认识。
recognize:v.认识;认出;辨别出;承认;意识到;
You don't even recognize yourself. 你甚至不认识自己。
You hide and don't leave the house, you lock yourself in, you become ill. 你躲在房子里不出门,把自己关起来,变得病态。
I know people who placed small cans outside their house with coins inside, in case someone tried to get in. 我知道有的人把装满硬币的小罐子放在门外, 为了防止有人想进入。
All of a sudden , you feel like you want to die or kill or hide or run away. 突然,你觉得你想死或者杀人 或者藏起来,或者逃走。
All of a sudden:突然地,出乎意料地;
You want to be loved, but you hate everyone. 你希望被爱,但你恨每一个人。
It's a feeling that seizes you entirely day in and day out , and you suffer tremendously . 这种感觉完全侵略你 从早到晚, 你承受着巨大的痛苦。
day in and day out:天天;夜以继日; tremendously:adv.非常地;可怕地;惊人地;
And no one understands. 而且没有任何人理解。
They say, "There's nothing wrong with you. You seem fine, you have no injuries . 别人会说,“你什么事都没有。你看起来很好,没有受伤。
injuries:n.伤害,损伤;挫伤;(injury的复数)
You went to war, came back; you're fine." 你去了战场,安全归来,你没事的。”
These people suffer tremendously. 这些人遭受巨大的痛苦。
Some commit suicide . 有些会自杀。
commit:v.犯(罪等);干(坏事等);[法]提(审);判处; suicide:n.自杀;自杀行为;自杀者;adj.自杀的;v.自杀;vi.自杀;
After all, suicide is like updating your daily planner -- 总之,自杀只不过像在记事本里写下新的一行一--
updating:v.更新;向…提供最新信息;使现代化;(update的现在分词) planner:n.计划者,规划师;
I'm already dead, I might as well commit suicide. 我既然已经死了,何不干脆自杀。
might as well:不妨,何妨;还是…的好;
Plus, there is no more pain. 而且,这样就没有痛苦了。
Some commit suicide, others end up under the bridge, drinking. 有的人选择自杀,有的人酗酒流浪到桥下。
Everyone remembers that grandfather or uncle or neighbor who used to drink, never said a word, always in a bad mood , beat his wife and who would end up either sinking into alcoholism or dying. 每个人都记得自己的一位的爷爷,叔叔或者邻居 曾经酗酒,什么都不说 总是发脾气,会打老婆 最终他们不是沉迷于酒精就是死了。
mood:n.情绪,语气;心境;气氛; alcoholism:n.酗酒;[内科]酒精中毒;
And why do we not talk about this? 我们为什么不讨论这些呢？
We don't talk about it because it's taboo . 不讨论它是因为这是禁忌话题。
taboo:n.禁忌;禁止;adj.禁忌的;忌讳的;vt.禁忌;禁止;
It's not like we don't have the words to express the void of death. 不是说我们无法用词形容死亡的空虚感。
express:v.表达; adj.特快的; n.特快列车; v.使用快速服务;
But others don't want hear it. 但别人根本不想听。
The first time I returned from an assignment , 我第一次完成任务回来的时候,
assignment:n.分配:(分派的)工作,任务:
They said, "Oh! He's back." 别人都说,“哦！他回来了。”
There was a fancy dinner -- white tablecloth , candles, guests. 他们举行了丰盛的晚宴-- 白桌布,烛光,客人。
fancy:n.幻想; adj.想象的; v.想象; tablecloth:n.桌布;台布;
'"Tell us everything!" “把一切都告诉我们！”
Which I did. 于是我说了。
After 20 minutes, people were giving me dirty looks, the hostess had her nose in the ashtray . 20分钟后,人们开始用肮脏的眼神看我, 女主人把鼻子低到了烟灰缸里。
hostess:n.女主人,女老板;女服务员;舞女;女房东; ashtray:n.烟灰缸;
It was horrible and I realized I ruined the whole evening. 情况惨不忍睹,我意识到我扫了大家的兴。
ruined:adj.毁灭的;荒废的;v.毁坏;破坏;糟蹋;(ruin的过去分词和过去式)
So I don't talk about it anymore. 所以我就再也不说了。
We're just not ready to listen. 我们只是没有做好倾听的准备。
People say outright : "Please, stop." 人们直接说:“请别说了。”
outright:v.全部地; adj.完全的,彻底的;
Is that a rare occurrence ? 这是偶然现象吗？
occurrence:n.发生;出现;存在;发生的事情;
No, it's extremely common. 不是,这非常常见。
extremely:adv.非常,极其;极端地;
One third of the soldiers who died in Iraq -- well, not "died," let me re-phrase that -- one third of the US soldiers who went to Iraq suffer from PTSD. 1/3在伊拉克战死的士兵-- 不应该说是“战死”,让我重新组织一下语言-- 1/3去了伊拉克的美国士兵 遭受PTSD的折磨。
In 1939, there were still 200,000 soldiers from the First World War that were being treated in British psychiatric hospitals. 1939年,仍然有200000名一战士兵 在英国精神病院接受治疗。
First World War:n.第一次世界大战(1914至1918年间,主战场在欧洲); treated:v.以…态度对待;把…看作;(treat的过去分词和过去式) psychiatric:adj.精神病学的;精神病治疗的;
In Vietnam, 54,000 people died -- 在越南,54000人死亡--
Americans. 美国人。
In 1987, the US government identified 102,000 -- twice as many -- 102,000 veterans who died from committing suicide. 1987年,美国政府认证了102000名 是两倍的人数(和越南相比）-- 102000名老兵用自杀结束了生命。
identified:v.确认;认出;找到;发现;说明身份;(identify的过去式和过去分词) veterans:n.老兵;退伍军人(veteran的复数形式); committing:v.做出;犯罪或错等;自杀;承诺,保证;(commit的现在分词)
Twice as many deaths by suicide than by combat in Vietnam. 是在越南战场上牺牲的士兵的两倍。
combat:v.战斗;防止;减轻;与…搏斗;n.战斗;搏斗;打仗;
So you see, this relates to everything, not just modern warfare , but also ancient wars -- you can read about it, the evidence is there. 所以你看,它们都可以联系起来, 不仅仅是在现代战争里,古代战争也是-- 你可以阅读文献资料,也会看到相应的线索。
warfare:n.战争;冲突; evidence:n.证据,证明;迹象;明显;v.证明;
So why do we not talk about it? 所以我们为什么不说呢？
Why have we not talked about it? 我们为什么没有讨论过它？
The problem is that if you don't talk about it, you're heading for disaster . 问题是你如果不讨论它, 那么你就会走向灾难。
disaster:n.灾难,灾祸;不幸;
The only way to heal -- and the good news here is that this is treatable -- think Munch's The Scream, Goya , etc. -- it's indeed treatable. 唯一可以治愈的方法-- 而且好消息是这是可以被治愈的-- 想想呐喊（油画）,格雅（音乐）,等等。-- 这绝对是可以治愈的。
heal:v.复原;治疗(病人);使又愉快起来;(使)结束 treatable:adj.能治疗的;好对付的;能处理的; Goya:n.戈雅(西班牙画家);
The only way to heal from this trauma, from this encounter with death that overwhelms , petrifies and kills you is to find a way to express it. 能治愈这种创伤的唯一方法, （治愈）这种和死亡的偶遇,压垮你和震惊你的东西, 就是找一种方法表达出来。
overwhelms:vt.压倒;淹没;受打击; petrifies:vi.石化;惊呆;vt.使…石化;使…惊呆;
People used to say, "Language is the only thing that holds all of us together." 人们曾说, “语言是唯一把我们团结起来的东西。”
Without language, we're nothing. 如果没有语言,我们就什么也不是。
It's the thing that makes us human. 这是让我们成为人类的东西。
In the face of such a horrible image -- a wordless image of oblivion that obsesses us -- the only way to cope with it is to put human words to it. 在这样恐怖的场景面前-- 一个无声的,被遗忘的场景,却纠缠着我们-- 唯一能对抗它的方法 就是用人类的语言来表述它。
In the face of:面对; wordless:adj.沉默的,无言的; oblivion:n.遗忘;湮没;赦免; obsesses:vt.迷住,缠住;使…着迷;使…困扰; cope:v.处理;n.大圆衣;
Because these people feel excluded from humanity . 因为这些人觉得自己被排除在人性之外。
excluded:v.排除;拒绝;把…除外;驱除;(excluded是exclude的过去分词) humanity:n.人类;人道;仁慈;人文学科;
No one wants to see them anymore and they don't want to see anyone. 人们都不愿意看他们,他们也不愿意看自己。
They feel dirty, defiled , ashamed . 他们觉得自己肮脏,污秽,羞愧。
defiled:v.弄脏;玷污;糟蹋;亵渎;(defile的过去分词和过去式) ashamed:adj.惭愧;尴尬;因惭愧而不情愿;
Someone said, "Doctor, I don't use the subway anymore because I'm afraid people will see the horror in my eyes." 有个人说,“医生,我再也不坐地铁了 因为我害怕别人会从我眼睛里看出恐惧。”
Another guy thought he had a terrible skin disease and spent six months with dermatologists , going from doctor to doctor. 另一个人以为他患了严重的皮肤病 然后花了6个月寻访了许多皮肤病医生。
disease:n.病,[医]疾病;弊病;vt.传染;使…有病; dermatologists:n.皮肤病医生;皮肤病专家;(dermatologist的复数)
And then one day, they sent him to a psychiatrist. 后来有一天,他们把他送到一位精神治疗师那里。
During his second session , he told the psychiatrist he had a terrible skin disease from head to toe . 第二次疗程中,他告诉那个精神治疗师 他从头到脚都感染了严重的皮肤病。
session:n.会议;(法庭的)开庭;(议会等的)开会;学期;讲习会; toe:n.脚趾;鞋头;v.用脚趾踩;用脚尖踢;
The psychiatrist asked, "Why are you in this state?" 医生问他,“你为什么会有这样的现状？”
And the man said, "Well, because I'm dead, so I must be rotting away." 他说,“嗯,因为我已经死了,所以我应该正在腐烂。”
So you see this is something that has a profound effect on people. 由此可见,这是对人们有深远影响的事情。
profound:adj.深厚的;意义深远的;渊博的;
In order to heal, we need to talk about it. 为了让创伤痊愈,我们需要说出它们。
The horror needs to be put into words -- human words, so we can organize it and talk about it again. 这种恐惧需要用语言表达出来-- 人类的语言,让我们能组织它,能表达它。
organize:v.组织;安排;处理;分配;管理;
We have to look death in the face . 我们需要直视死亡。
look death in the face:面对死亡;
And if we can do that, if we can talk about these things, then step by step , by working it out verbally , we can reclaim our place in humanity. 如果我们可以这样做,如果我们可以讨论这些事, 那么逐渐用语言来解决, 我们可以重新我们在开拓人道主义中的领地。
step by step:adj.按部就班的; verbally:adv.口头地,非书面地;用言辞地; reclaim:v.开拓;回收再利用;改造某人,使某人悔改;n.改造,感化;再生胶;
And it is important. 这很重要。
Silence kills us. 沉默将毁灭我们。
So what does this mean? 所以这到底意味着什么？
It means that after a trauma, without question , we lose our " unbearable lightness of being," 这意味着在一次创伤以后, 毫无疑问,我们失去那种”生命不能承受之轻“的感觉,
without question:毫无疑问; unbearable:adj.难以忍受的;承受不住的; lightness:n.轻盈;轻松;明亮;(颜色)浅淡;
that sense of immortality that keeps us here -- meaning, if we're here, we almost feel like we're immortal, which we're not, but if we didn't believe that, we'd say, "What's the point of it all?" 那种使我们伫立在这里的,不朽的意识-- 这意味着,我们的存在让我们几乎觉得这是不朽的,虽然并不是这样, 但我们并不相信,我们会说,”那这一切又有什么意义呢？“
immortality:n.不朽;不朽的声名;不灭;
But trauma survivors have lost that feeling of immortality. 但创伤的生还者丢失了那种不朽的感觉。
They've lost their lightness. 他们失去了生命的轻快感。
But they have found something else. 但他们却发现了别的东西。
So this means that if we manage to look death in the face, and actually confront it, rather than keep quiet and hide, like some of the men or women I know did, 所以这意味着如果我们能直面死亡, 和它对峙,而不是隐藏和保持沉默, 就像我知道的一些男人女人那样,
confront:v.直面;无法回避;降临于;处理;对抗; keep quiet:保持安静;
such as Michael from Rwanda, Carole from Iraq, Philippe from the Congo and other people I know, like Sorj Chalandon, now a great writer, who gave up field assignments after a trauma. 例如卢旺达的麦克,伊拉克的卡罗尔,刚果的菲利普 还有一些其他人, 比如索亚 夏隆冬,他现在是位有名的作家, 他在一次灾难以后放弃了现场作业。
assignments:n.作业;分配;(assignment的复数形式)
Five friends of mine committed suicide, they're the ones who did not survive the trauma. 我有五个朋友选择了自杀, 他们是那些没有从灾难中生还的人。
committed:adj.坚信的; v.做出错事; (commit的过去分词和过去式)
So if we can look death in the face, if we, mortal humans, human mortals , understand that we are human and mortal, mortal and human, if we can confront death and identify it once again 所以我们如果可以直面死亡, 如果我们,平凡的人类,人类的平凡, 能够理解我们只是人类,生命平凡而且有限, 如果我们能够直面死亡,并且重新定义它,
mortals:n.人;凡人;普通人;(mortal的复数) identify:v.识别:鉴定:确认:发现:
as the most mysterious place of all mysterious places, since no one has ever seen it -- if we can give it back this meaning, yes, we may die, survive and come back to life, but we'll come back stronger than before. 理解这是在所有神秘的处境之中最为神秘的处境, 因为没有人曾经见过它-- 如果我们能重新将这层意义附加于（死亡）, 是的,我们可能会死亡, 会生还 然后重新回到生活中, 但当我们回来的时候我们会比从前更加坚强
mysterious:adj.神秘的;不可思议的;难解的;
Much stronger. 更加强大。
Thank you. 谢谢各位。
(Applause) （掌声）