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JamesVeitch_2016T-_取消订阅的烦恼_
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| It's funny the things you forget. |
然后又变成了处理邮件。 |
| I went to see my mother the other day , and she told me this story that I'd completely forgotten about how, when we were driving together, she would pull the car over, and by the time she had gotten out of the car, and gone around the car to let me out of the car, |
前几天我去看我老妈,她告诉我了这样一个故事, 我已经完全忘了, 我们曾经一起开车出去,她要停车, 当她从车里出来, 围着车绕了一圈,然后准备让我也下车, |
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the other day:不久前某一天;几天以前; let me out:让我出去;放我出去;一切归零;高烧不退;
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| I would have already gotten out of the car and pretended to have died. |
我那时已经下了车, 并且假装已经死了。 |
| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| (Applause) |
（观众笑） |
| Because that's how you die. |
因为在那时你差不多就是这么“死”的。 |
| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| And I remember, that was a game I used to play with myself to entertain myself whenever I was bored or frustrated . |
我记得,我以前常常和自己玩装死, 只要我无聊或者感到沮丧我就玩装死来自娱自乐。 |
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entertain:v.娱乐;款待;使有兴趣;使快乐; bored:adj.无聊的;厌倦的;烦闷的;v.使厌烦;钻,凿,挖;(bore的过去分词和过去式) frustrated:adj.失意的,挫败的;泄气的;v.挫败;阻挠;(frustrate的过去式和过去分词)
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| Settle down. |
好让自己冷静点。 |
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Settle:v.定居;结算;停留;确定;n.高背长椅(老式木家具,有扶手,座下多带柜);
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| People say we live in an age of information overload . Right? |
人们常说我们生活在信息膨胀的时代对吧？ |
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overload:vt.超载,超过负荷;n.超载;负荷过多;
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| I don't know about that, but I just know that I get too many marketing emails. |
我也不清楚, 但是我知道我常收到很多营销邮件。 |
| I got a marketing email from a supermarket firm, which will remain nameless for predominantly legal reasons, but which I'm going to call "SafeMart." |
我收到过来自一个超市集团的营销邮件, 匿名的邮件, 因为一些法律原因, 但是我准备叫它“安全超市”。 |
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nameless:adj.不可名状的,难以形容的;匿名的; predominantly:adv.主要地;显著地; legal:adj.法律的;合法的;法定的;
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| I got an email from them, and it went like this, it said: "Just three weeks until SafeMart at King's Cross opens!!!" |
我收到一封他们发的邮件,上面写着: “还有三周,安全超市就要在国王十字路口开张啦！！！” |
| And I resented this, because not only do I not remember signing up to that, but I resent the fact that they appear to think that I should be excited about a shop opening. |
我讨厌这种邮件, 因为不仅我记不得订阅过这样的消息, 而且我对于他们理所应当地认为我应该 对于新店开张感到无比兴奋这种事儿非常厌恶。 |
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resented:v.愤恨;感到气愤;愤愤不平;(resent的过去分词和过去式)
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| So what I did was I scrolled down to the bottom of the email, and I pressed, " Unsubscribe ." |
于是我滑到邮箱的最底部, 点击了下“取消订阅”。 |
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scrolled:v.滚屏;滚动;(scroll的过去分词和过去式) Unsubscribe:v.取消订阅;注销;注销账户;
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| And I thought that'd be the end of it. |
我想这样应该就会清净了。 |
| But a week later, I got another one that said, "Just two weeks until SafeMart at King's Cross opens!!!" |
但是一周后,我收到了另一封邮件写到, “还有两周安全超市即将在 国王十字路口开张啦！！！” |
| And I thought, obviously, I haven't clicked hard enough. |
我想,应该是我上次没有退订成功。 |
| So I tried it again. Right? |
然后我又退订了一次,这样应该好了吧？ |
| Lo and behold , a week passes, you guessed it, "Just one week until SafeMart at King's Cross opens!!!" |
没想到,过了一周,你猜怎么着, “还有一周,安全超市即将在国王十字路口开张啦！！！” |
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behold:v.看;注视;把...视为;int.瞧;看呀;
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| And here's the problem: |
这就有问题了: |
| The internet gave us access to everything; but it also gave everything access to us. |
互联网让我们与世界相连; 同时也让所有东西与我们相连。 |
| It's hard enough to discriminate between the things that genuinely matter in this world and the minutiae of life, without having emails about supermarket chains and Candy Crush Saga . |
没有关于连锁超市 和糖果传奇（一款手机游戏）的邮件, 我们可能就会很难分辨 世界上真正重要的东西, 和生活中的鸡毛蒜皮。 |
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discriminate:vt.歧视;区别;辨别;vi.区别;辨别; genuinely:adv.真诚地;诚实地; minutiae:n.微小;不重要的细节(minutia的复数); Crush:v.压碎;弄皱,变形;使…挤入;n.粉碎;迷恋;压榨;拥挤的人群; Saga:n.传说;冒险故事;英雄事迹;
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| And I was really annoyed with them, and I thought, OK, I was about to write a strongly worded email, which I can do quite well. |
我真的被它们搞烦了, 我想,看来我必须要写一封语气很重的回复邮件了, 我很擅长这种事儿。 |
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annoyed:adj.恼怒;生气;烦恼;v.使恼怒;使生气;打扰;骚扰(annoy的过去分词和过去式) was about to:眼看就要;即将;正要;行将;
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| And I thought, no -- |
然后我仔细想想,不—— |
| I'm going to find the game. |
我要陪它们玩下去。 |
| So I replied to it, and I said, "I literally cannot wait!!!!" |
所以我回复了它,我写到, “我真是等不及了啊！！！” |
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literally:adv.按字面:字面上:确实地:
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| '"What do you need from me?" |
“我可以为你们做些什么呢？” |
| They got back to me; a guy called Dan said, "Hi James. I've asked a colleague to help me with your query ." |
一个叫Dan的人给我回复了,写道: “你好 James. 我就你的问题向我的同事咨询了一下。” |
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colleague:n.同事,同僚; query:n.疑问,质问;疑问号;[计]查询;vt.询问;对…表示疑问;vi.询问;表示怀疑;
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| Like it needs help. |
好像他才需要帮助吧。 |
| And I said, "What's the plan, Dan? |
我说:“你们有什么打算呢,Dan？ |
| I'm thinking fireworks , bouncy castle ..." |
我能想到的是开业的烟花,充气的城堡……” |
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fireworks:n.烟花;烟火表演;激烈的言辞;令人激动的行动;(firework的复数) bouncy:adj.有弹性的;快活的;精神饱满的;自大的;
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| '"I'm not sure what you mean." |
Dan:“我没搞懂你的意思。” |
| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| I said, "I'm just tremendously excited about the opening!" |
我说:“我只是对你们开业相当激动！” |
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tremendously:adv.非常地;可怕地;惊人地;
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| '"Do you want to book the bouncy castle or shall I?" |
“你打算订充气城堡,还是我来订？” |
| He said, "I think you have misunderstood ." |
他说:“我觉得你可能误会了。” |
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misunderstood:adj.被误解的;v.误解,误会(misunderstand的过去式);
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| '"A new store is opening, but there is no celebration planned." |
“我们新店确实要开业了,但是并没有开业典礼计划。” |
| I said, "But what was all the 'Three weeks until,' 'Two weeks until' emails? |
我说:“但是你们每周都有发那些开业倒计时邮件啊？ |
| I was getting excited." |
让我都白激动了啊。” |
| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| '"I'm sorry you're disappointed." |
Dan:“我对你的失望感到十分歉意。” |
| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| I said, "Not to worry. |
我说:“没事。 |
| Let's do something anyway! |
不管怎么样我们还是做点什么吧！ |
| Besides , the deposit on the bouncy castle was non-refundable ." |
再说充气城堡的订金已经不能退了。 |
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Besides:adv.此外;而且;prep.除…之外; deposit:n.订金; v.放下; non-refundable:adj.不可退款的;不可归还的;
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| '"If we don't use it, we're out a few hundred quid , Dan." |
如果我们不用它,我们就浪费了几百块呢,Dan.” |
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quid:n.咀嚼物;一英镑;一镑金币;
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| He said, "Mr. Veitch, I'm not responsible for anything you have ordered." |
他说:“Veitch先生,我对您所订购的东西没有任何责任。” |
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responsible:adj.负责的,可靠的;有责任的;
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| I said, "Let's not get into who did what. |
我说:“我们先别说谁做了什么。 |
| Bottom line : you and I are in this together." |
无可否认,我们现在已经在一条船上了。 |
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Bottom line:n.底线;归根结底;账本底线,盈亏一览结算线;
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| (Applause) |
（掌声） |
| '"Question: Will you be there to make sure people take their shoes off?" |
请问:你愿意一直在旁边看着保证别人都把鞋子脱了吗？” |
| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| I'll be honest, then my relationship with Dan deteriorated somewhat , because the next email I got was this: "Thanks for your email - your Case Number is ..." |
实话实说,那之后我跟Dan的关系在某种程度上就恶化了, 因为我发现下一封邮件是这样写的: “感谢您的邮件——您的处理编号是……” |
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deteriorated:v.变坏;恶化;退化;(deteriorate的过去分词和过去式) somewhat:n.几分;某物;adv.有点;多少;几分;稍微;
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| That's outrageous . |
这真是让我哭笑不得。 |
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outrageous:adj.粗暴的;可恶的;令人吃惊的;
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| I said, "Dan?" |
我说:“Dan,在吗？” |
| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| And I got -- and I was just like, this is ... -- and I, I .... |
然后我收到的还是……这……让我…… |
| And I said, "Danny?" |
我说:“Danny,你在吗？！” |
| And I thought, this is terrible. All I'm doing is collecting case numbers. |
我觉得,这太糟糕了。我一直在收到这些处理编号。 |
| I said, "D-Dog?" |
我说:“是电子狗吗？” |
| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| '"The store is now open." |
“超市现在开张了。——Dan” |
| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| I said, "But Dan, they must have wondered why there was no bouncy castle." |
我说:“但是Dan,大家都会想为什么没有充气城堡吧。” |
| And then we were back to this. |
然后又变成了处理邮件。 |
| And that might have been the end of the story, but I remembered that anything -- everything -- even something as mundane as getting out of a car, can be fun if you find the right game. |
故事应该在此就结束了。 但是我突然发觉,任何事——每件事—— 甚至于一些日常小事儿,如下车,只要掌握了正确的玩法, 都能变得有趣。 |
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mundane:adj.世俗的,平凡的;世界的,宇宙的;
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| this is what I replied: |
我就回复到: |
| [Thanks for your email - your Case Number is #0000001.] |
[感谢您的邮件——您的处理编号是#0000001。] |
| (Laughter) |
（笑） |
| (Applause) |
（掌声） |
| And we just, uh ... |
然后我们就…… |
| (Laughter) |
（笑） |
| It was like we were dancing. |
这就像我们在翩翩起舞。 |
| It was just a beautiful relationship. |
就像我们是完美的关系。 |
| We just kept going. |
我们就这样进行下去。 |
| It was lovely. |
太和谐了。 |
| But to be honest, guys, it was quite labor-intensive , and I had other stuff to do, believe it or not. |
但是老实说,伙计们,这挺费功夫的, 我还有别的事情要忙, 不论你信不信。 |
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labor-intensive:adj.劳动密集型的; stuff:n.东西:物品:基本特征:v.填满:装满:标本:
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| So what I did is I have a little email auto-replier program. |
于是我做了一个邮件自动回复程序。 |
| And I set it up so every time it receives an email from SafeMart, it just pings one back. |
我设置好了程序,每一次从安全超市收到邮件, 它就这样发送一封回去。 |
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pings:n.子弹飞过空中的声音;[电子]声脉冲;vi.发出撞击声;砰地发声;
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| So I set it up, and it says, "Thanks for your email - your Case Number is ..." |
我设置好的内容是, “谢谢您的邮件,您的处理编号为……” |
| Then it has a little formula that I wrote to up the case number every time. |
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formula:n.公式; adj.(赛车)方程式的(指赛车要符合规定的体积,重量及汽缸容量等);
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| And I put it on the server and set it running. |
然后把它放入服务器 让它运转。 |
| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| I'll be honest, guys -- then I forgot about it. |
坦白讲—— 我最后把这事给忘了。 |
| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| I checked back on it the other day, and it appears there have been a number of emails going back and forth . |
过了几天我回头查看邮件, 它显示出,来回的回复邮件, |
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back and forth:前后移动的,来回的,反复的;
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| We're on 21,439. |
达到21,439篇。 |
| (Applause) |
（掌声） |
| It gives me an immense sense of satisfaction to know that these computer programs are just going to be pinging one another for eternity . |
这件事带给我了很大的满足感,我意识到 这些电脑程序可以一直相互回复, 无穷无尽。 |
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immense:adj.巨大的,广大的;无边无际的;非常好的; satisfaction:n.满意,满足;赔偿;乐事;赎罪; pinging:v.(使)乒乒作响;发送(电子邮件、手机短信);(ping的现在分词) eternity:n.来世,来生;不朽;永世;
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| And as legacies go, I don't think that's bad. |
作为一种馈赠,我觉得还是不错的。 |
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legacies:n.遗产(legacy的复数);
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| So guys, just remember: if ever you feel weighed down by the bureaucracy and often mundanity of modern life, don't fight the frustration . |
所以朋友们,请记住: 如果你们感觉自己被官僚主义深深压迫 或者被平淡无奇的生活压迫, 不要和沮丧做无谓的抗争。 |
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bureaucracy:n.官僚主义;官僚机构;官僚政治; frustration:n.挫折;
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| Let it be the catalyst for whimsy . |
让它成为我们的动力, 搞点小怪。 |
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catalyst:n.[物化]催化剂;刺激因素; whimsy:n.怪念头;反复无常;
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| (Laughter) |
（观众笑） |
| Thank you. |
谢谢。 |
| (Applause) |
（掌声） |