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GuyWinch_2014X-_为什么情绪急救势在必行_
I grew up with my identical twin , who was an incredibly loving brother. 我和我的双胞胎哥哥一起长大, 他是个富有爱心的好兄弟。
identical twin:n.单卵性双胞胎之一(性别相同,外貌相似); incredibly:adv.难以置信地;非常地;
Now, one thing about being a twin is that it makes you an expert at spotting favoritism . 要知道,作为双胞胎,你很快就在一件事上成为专家, 就是注意到偏爱。
favoritism:n.偏袒;得宠;
If his cookie was even slightly bigger than my cookie, I had questions. 如果他的饼干比我的大哪怕一点点,我就会质疑。
slightly:adv.些微地,轻微地;纤细地;
And clearly, I wasn't starving. 当然我也没被饿着。
(Laughter) （笑声）
When I became a psychologist , I began to notice favoritism of a different kind, and that is how much more we value the body than we do the mind. 当我成为一个心理学家,我开始注意到另一种不同的偏爱, 那就是我们赋予我们的身体比精神更多的价值。
psychologist:n.心理学家,心理学者;
I spent nine years at university earning my doctorate in psychology , and I can't tell you how many people look at my business card and say, "Oh, a psychologist. So not a real doctor," 我花了九年时间获得心理学博士学位, 但不知道有多少人看了我的名片说, “哦,心理学家,原来不是真正的医生。”
doctorate:n.博士学位;博士头衔; psychology:n.心理学;心理状态; business card:n.[商]名片;
as if it should say that on my card. 就好像我的名片上就该明确说明似的。
(Laughter) （笑声）
This favoritism we show the body over the mind, I see it everywhere. 这种对身体多于精神的偏爱随处可见。
I recently was at a friend's house, and their five-year-old was getting ready for bed. 我最近在朋友家, 他们五岁的小孩准备上床睡觉。
recently:adv.最近;新近;
He was standing on a stool by the sink brushing his teeth, when he slipped , and scratched his leg on the stool when he fell. 他站在小凳子上,在水池边刷牙, 然后他滑了一下,摔倒的时候刮了他的腿。
stool:n.凳子;大便;粪便;v.长出新枝;排便 slipped:adj.打滑的;v.滑倒;滑落;脱落;(slip的过去分词和过去式) scratched:adj.受抓损的;有刮痕;v.抓;搔;(scratch的过去式及过去分词)
He cried for a minute , but then he got back up, got back on the stool, and reached out for a box of Band-Aids to put one on his cut. 他哭了一下,随后就爬起来了, 站回小凳子上,拿了一个创可贴贴在他的伤口上。
for a minute:一会儿; Band-Aids:n.创可贴;护创膏布(Band-Aid的复数);
Now, this kid could barely tie his shoelaces , but he knew you have to cover a cut, so it doesn't become infected , and you have to care for your teeth by brushing twice a day. 这孩子刚学会系鞋带儿, 但他都知道要保护伤口以免感染, 同时还要一天刷两次牙来保护牙齿。
barely:adv.仅仅,勉强;几乎不;公开地;贫乏地; shoelaces:n.鞋带;(shoelace的复数) infected:adj.带菌的; v.传染; (infect的过去分词和过去式)
We all know how to maintain our physical health and how to practice dental hygiene , right? 我们都知道怎样保持身体的健康 还有怎样保持牙齿卫生,对不对？
maintain:v.维持;保持;维修;保养;坚持(意见); physical:adj.[物]物理的;身体的;物质的;符合自然法则的;n.体格检查; dental:n.牙医;[语]齿音;;adj.牙齿的;牙科的;齿音的; hygiene:n.卫生;卫生学;保健法;
We've known it since we were five years old. 我们从五岁起就知道这些东西了。
But what do we know about maintaining our psychological health? 但是我们知道怎样保持精神上的健康吗？
maintaining:n.维护;保养;v.维持;保养;(maintain的现在分词) psychological:adj.心理的;心理学的;精神上的;
Well, nothing. 完全不知道。
What do we teach our children about emotional hygiene? 我们教给孩子们情绪保健吗？
emotional:adj.情绪的;易激动的;感动人的;
Nothing. 完全没有。
How is it that we spend more time taking care of our teeth than we do our minds. 为什么我们花在牙齿的时间 比花在精神的时间上还多呢？
Why is it that our physical health is so much more important to us than our psychological health? 为什么我们那么重视身体健康 远远多于心理健康呢？
We sustain psychological injuries even more often than we do physical ones, injuries like failure or rejection or loneliness. 我们承受心理上的伤害比身体上的多得多, 例如失败,被拒绝,孤独。
sustain:v.支持;支撑;遭受;证实; injuries:n.伤害,损伤;挫伤;(injury的复数) rejection:n.抛弃;拒绝;被抛弃的东西;盖帽;
And they can also get worse if we ignore them, and they can impact our lives in dramatic ways. 如果我们忽视它们,情况也会恶化, 它们同样会给我们的生活带来重大的影响。
ignore:v.驳回诉讼;忽视;不理睬; impact:n.影响;效果;碰撞;冲击力;v.挤入,压紧;撞击;对…产生影响; dramatic:adj.突然的;巨大的;令人吃惊的;激动人心的;
And yet, even though there are scientifically proven techniques we could use to treat these kinds of psychological injuries, we don't. 然而,虽然有科学证实的疗法 来帮助我们治疗这些心理上的伤害, 我们却不采取行动。
scientifically:adv.系统地;合乎科学地;学问上; techniques:n.技巧;技艺;工艺;技术;(technique的复数) treat:v.治疗;处理;招待;款待;n.款待;乐事;乐趣;
It doesn't even occur to us that we should. 我们甚至都没意识到我们应该采取行动。
occur:v.发生;出现;存在于;出现在;
'"Oh, you're feeling depressed ? Just shake it off; it's all in your head." “哦,你感到抑郁么？别去想了,都在你脑袋里。”
depressed:adj.沮丧的; v.使抑郁; (depress的过去式和过去分词)
Can you imagine saying that to somebody with a broken leg: "Oh, just walk it off; it's all in your leg." 你能想象对一个骨折了的人说这样的话吗？ “哦,走走就好了,都在你腿上。”
(Laughter) （笑声）
It is time we closed the gap between our physical and our psychological health. 我们应该消除这种对身体和精神健康的区别对待。
gap:n.差距;间隙;缺口;间隔;v.使豁裂;豁开;
It's time we made them more equal, more like twins. 应该把两者对等起来, 像双胞胎一样。
Speaking of which, my brother is also a psychologist. 说起双胞胎,我哥哥也是个心理医生。
So he's not a real doctor, either. 所以他也不是真正的医生。
(Laughter) （笑声）
We didn't study together, though. 我们不是在一起上的学。
In fact, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life is move across the Atlantic to New York City to get my doctorate in psychology. 事实上,我这辈子经历过的最困难的事 就是跨过大西洋搬到纽约 来读心理学的博士学位。
Atlantic:adj.大西洋的;巨人阿特拉斯的;n.大西洋;
We were apart then for the first time in our lives, and the separation was brutal for both of us. 那是我们俩第一次分隔两地, 这个分离对我俩来说都很残酷。
separation:n.分离;分开;分割;隔离; brutal:adj.残忍的;野蛮的,不讲理的;
But while he remained among family and friends, 当他和家人朋友一起时,
I was alone in a new country. 我却孤单的在一个新的国度。
We missed each other terribly, but international phone calls were really expensive then and we could only afford to speak for five minutes a week. 我们都非常想念对方, 但那时候国际长途都很贵 我们一周只打的起五分钟的电话。
afford:v.给予,提供;买得起; speak for:要求得到;代表…讲话;
When our birthday rolled around, it was the first we wouldn't be spending together. 当我们生日快到了的时候, 那是我们第一个没在一起过的生日。
We decide to splurge , and that week we would talk for 10 minutes. 我们决定奢侈一把,在那个星期聊上十分钟。
splurge:v.挥霍;卖弄;n.挥霍;炫耀;
I spent the morning pacing around my room, waiting for him to call -- and waiting and waiting, but the phone didn't ring. 我那天早上在房间里踱来踱去,等着我哥哥给我打过来 － 我等啊等啊,电话就是不响。
Given the time difference, I assumed , "Ok, he's out with friends, he will call later." 由于时差的关系,我就想, “好吧,他一定是和朋友在一起,他晚点儿会打来的。”
assumed:adj.假定的;假设的;v.假定;假设;认为;承担;(assume的过去分词和过去式)
There were no cell phones then. 那时候也没有手机。
But he didn't. 但他始终没打来。
And I began to realize that after being away for over 10 months, he no longer missed me the way I missed him. 我开始意识到,在我离开十个月以后, 他不再像我想他那样想我了。
I knew he would call in the morning, but that night was one of the saddest and longest nights of my life. 我知道他早上会打来, 但那一晚是我一生中最伤心,最漫长的一晚。
saddest:adj.悲伤的(sad的最高级);
I woke up the next morning. 第二天一早醒来,
I glanced down at the phone, and I realized I had kicked it off the hook when pacing the day before. 我瞅了一眼电话,我意识到,来回踱步时 我把电话线踹下来了
glanced:v.瞥一眼;匆匆一看;扫视;浏览;(glance的过去分词和过去式) off the hook:摆脱困境;脱身;
I stumbled out off bed, 我迷迷糊糊的跳下床,
stumbled:v.绊脚;跌跌撞撞地走;蹒跚而行;(stumble的过去分词和过去式)
I put the phone back on the receiver, and it rang a second later, and it was my brother, and, boy, was he pissed . 我刚把电话插回接口,一秒钟之后电话就响了。 是我哥哥,他可气坏了。
pissed:adj.烂醉的;怒冲冲的;v.撒尿;(piss的过去分词和过去式)
(Laughter) （笑声）
It was the saddest and longest night of his life as well. 那也是他一生中最伤心漫长的一夜。
Now I tried to explain what happened, but he said, "I don't understand. If you saw I wasn't calling you, why didn't you just pick up the phone and call me?" 当我跟他解释事情的经过,他说, “我不明白。你看我没给你打, 你为什么不打给我呢？”
He was right. Why didn't I call him? 他说的对。我为什么不打给他呢？
I didn't have an answer then, but I do today, and it's a simple one: loneliness. 我当时无法解释,但我现在明白了, 非常简单的原因:孤独。
Loneliness creates a deep psychological wound , one that distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking. 孤独导致深重的心理创伤, 扭曲我们的感知能力,剥夺我们的思考能力。
wound:n.创伤,伤口;v.使受伤;受伤,伤害; distorts:v.使变形;扭曲;使失真;歪曲;(distort的第三人称单数) perceptions:n.认知;观念(perception的复数);理解; scrambles:vt.攀登; n.抢夺,争夺; vi.爬行,攀登;
It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do. 它使我们相信身边的人不再在乎我们。
It make us really afraid to reach out, because why set yourself up for rejection and heartache when your heart is already aching more than you can stand? 它使我们不敢与人联络, 为什么给自取其辱被拒绝呢？ 你的心痛的还不够多么？
heartache:n.心痛;悲叹;
I was in the grips of real loneliness back then, but I was surrounded by people all day, so it never occurred to me. 我那个时候被孤独紧紧包裹着, 但我总和别人在一起,我自己都没意识到。
grips:vbl.抓爪; occurred:v.发生;出现;存在于;出现在;(occur的过去分词和过去式)
But loneliness is defined purely subjectively . 但孤独是完全从主观上定义的。
defined:adj.有定义的,确定的; v.使明确; purely:adv.完全;仅仅; subjectively:adv.主观地;臆想地;内省地;
It depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you. 它完全取决于你是否觉得 在情绪上或是交际上和你周围的人相隔绝。
solely:adv.单独地,唯一地; emotionally:adv.感情上;情绪上;令人激动地;情绪冲动地; disconnected:adj.分离的; v.切断(煤气、水或电的供应); (disconnect的过去式和过去分词)
And I did. 我当时是这样的。
There is a lot of research on loneliness, and all of it is horrifying . 我们有很多关于孤独的研究,都很可怕。
horrifying:adj.令人极其震惊的;v.惊吓;使厌恶;(horrify的现在分词)
Loneliness won't just make you miserable , it will kill you. 孤独不仅让你觉得凄惨,它还可能致死。
miserable:adj.悲惨的;痛苦的;卑鄙的;
I'm not kidding. 我可不是开玩笑。
Chronic loneliness increases your likelihood of an early death by 14 percent. 长期的孤独会增加你早逝的可能性 高达14%之多。
Chronic:adj.慢性的;长期的;习惯性的; likelihood:n.可能性,可能;
Loneliness causes high blood pressure , high cholesterol . 孤独可能导致高血压,高胆固醇。
blood pressure:n.[医]血压; cholesterol:n.[生化]胆固醇;
It even suppress the functioning of your immune system , making you vulnerable to all kinds of illnesses and diseases . 它甚至会影响你的免疫系统, 使你容易患上各种疾病。
suppress:vt.抑制;镇压;废止; immune system:n.免疫系统; vulnerable:adj.易受攻击的,易受…的攻击;易受伤害的;有弱点的; diseases:n.[医]病(disease的复数);[医]疾病;[植保]病害;疾病种类;
In fact, scientists have concluded that taken together, chronic loneliness poses as significant a risk for your longterm health and longevity as cigarette smoking. 事实上,科学家已经得出结论, 长期的孤独对你的健康和长寿 的负面影响比抽烟还要糟。
concluded:v.断定:得出结论:终止:达成:缔结(协定)(conclude的过去分词和过去式) poses:姿势; significant:adj.重大的;有效的;有意义的;值得注意的;意味深长的;n.象征;有意义的事物; longevity:n.长寿,长命;寿命;
Now cigarette packs come with warnings saying, "This could kill you." 香烟的包装上还有“吸烟致命”的警句。
But loneliness doesn't. 可孤独没有。
And that's why it's so important that we prioritize our psychological health, that we practice emotional hygiene. 这就是我们为什么要重视心理健康, 要注意保持情绪健康。
prioritize:v.按重要性排列;划分优先顺序;优先处理;
Because you can't treat a psychological wound if you don't even know you're injured . 因为,你无法治愈心理上的创伤, 如果你都不知道自己受到了伤害的话。
injured:adj.受伤的:委屈的: v.伤害,使受伤: n.伤员;
Loneliness isn't the only psychological wound that distorts our perceptions and misleads us. 孤独不是唯一 可能扭曲及误导我们的心理创伤。
misleads:vt.误导;带错;
Failure does that as well. 失败也有同样效果。
I once visited a day care center, where I saw three toddlers play with identical plastic toys. 我曾访问过一个幼儿园, 在那儿我观察了三个儿童,在玩完全一样的塑料玩具。
toddlers:n.初学走路的孩子;儿童短衫(toddler的复数形式);
You had to slide the red button, and a cute doggie would pop out. 你得把一个红色的钮滑开,然后一个可爱的小狗就会跳出来。
doggie:小狗,狗
One little girl tried pulling the purple button, then pushing it, and then she just sat back and looked at the box, with her lower lip trembling . 一个小女孩对紫色的钮又拉又按, 然后她就坐下来,瞧着那盒子,下嘴唇开始发颤。
purple:n.紫色;紫袍;v.变紫;使成紫色;adj.紫色的;华丽的文辞; trembling:v.颤抖;极担心;焦虑;恐惧;(tremble的现在分词)
The little boy next to her watched this happen, then turned to his box and and burst into tears without even touching it. 她旁边的一个小男孩看到这一幕, 再看着他的盒子,都没动手就哇哇大哭了。
burst:v.破裂;爆炸;突破;冲进;n.爆发;点射;释放;(情感的)迸发;
Meanwhile , another little girl tried everything she could think of until she slid the red button, the cute doggie popped out, and she squealed with delight . 与此同时,另一个小女孩试了各种方法 直到她滑动了那个红钮, 可爱的小狗跳了出来,她开心的叫了起来。
Meanwhile:adv.同时,其间;n.其间,其时; squealed:v.尖声长叫;发出长而尖的声音;告密;告发;(squeal的过去分词和过去式) delight:n.高兴;vi.高兴;vt.使高兴;
So three toddlers with identical plastic toys, but with very different reactions to failure. 同样的塑料玩具给了这三个幼儿, 但他们对失败的反应截然不同。
reactions:n.反应;回应;抗拒;生理反应;副作用(reaction的复数)
The first two toddlers were perfectly capable of sliding a red button. 前两个小孩完全有能力滑动那个红钮。
capable:adj.能干的,能胜任的;有才华的;
The only thing that prevented them from succeeding was that their mind tricked them into believing they could not. 唯一阻止他们成功的因素 就是他们被自己做不成的想法给骗了。
Now, adults get tricked this way as well, all the time. 成年人也经常中这样的圈套。
In fact, we all have a default set of feelings and beliefs that gets triggered whenever we encounter frustrations and setbacks . 事实上,我们都有一个固定的思维感知模式, 每当我们感到沮丧,受到挫折,我们便会进入这个模式。
default:n.违约;拖欠;缺席;缺陷;v.违约;拖欠;缺乏;不履行; triggered:v.发动;引起;触发;开动;起动;(trigger的过去分词和过去式) encounter:v.遭遇,邂逅;遇到;n.遭遇,偶然碰见; frustrations:n.沮丧;受阻;阻止;挫败;(frustration的复数) setbacks:n.挫折;周折(setback复数);
Are you aware of how your mind reacts to failure? 你清不清楚你是怎么对应失败的？
reacts:vi.反应;影响;反抗;起反作用;vt.使发生相互作用;使起化学反应;
You need to be. 你应该清楚。
Because if your mind tries to convince you you're incapable of something and you believe it, then like those two toddlers, you'll begin to feel helpless and you'll stop trying too soon, or you won't even try at all. 因为如果你的头脑告诉你你不能做成什么事 而你相信了的话, 你就会像那前两个小孩似的,开始感到无助 然后你很快就放弃了,甚至都不去试一下。
convince:v.使确信;使相信;说服,劝说; incapable:adj.不能的;无能力的;不能胜任的; helpless:adj.无助的;无能的;没用的;
And then you'll be even more convinced you can't succeed. 然后你就更加确信你成功不了。
convinced:adj.坚信; v.使确信; (convince的过去分词和过去式)
You see, that's why so many people function below their actual potential . 你看,这就是为什么那么多人都无法充分发挥他们的潜能。
potential:n.潜能;可能性;[电]电势;adj.潜在的;可能的;势的;
Because somewhere along the way, sometimes a single failure convinced them that they couldn't succeed, and they believed it. 因为不一定在什么地方,有那么一次失败 让他们认定了自己不能成功。
Once we become convinced of something, it's very difficult to change our mind. 我们一旦被某件事说服,往往就很难改变主意。
I learned that lesson the hard way when I was a teenager with my brother. 我十几岁的时候,和我哥哥一起,吃了点苦头才明白这道理。
We were driving with friends down a dark road at night, when a police car stopped us. 有一天晚上,我俩和朋友们在一条很黑的路上开着车。 一辆警车把我们拦下了。
police car:警察巡逻车;
There had been a robbery in the area and they were looking for suspects . 附近发生了抢劫,警察在追踪嫌犯。
robbery:n.盗窃;抢劫;掠夺; suspects:v.怀疑;不信任;(suspect的第三人称单数)
The officer approached the car, and he shined his flashlight on the driver, then on my brother in the front seat, and then on me. 警察走到车边,对司机晃了晃手电筒, 又照了照坐在副驾驶的我哥哥,然后照到了我。
approached:v.走近;临近;探讨;建议;(approach的过去分词和过去式)
And his eyes opened wide and he said, "Where have I seen your face before?" 他瞪大了眼睛说得, “我在哪儿见过你？”
(Laughter) （笑声）
And I said, "In the front seat." 我说,“副驾驶座上。”
(Laughter) （笑声）
But that made no sense to him whatsoever . 但对他来说,我的回答莫名其妙。
whatsoever:pron.无论什么;
So now he thought I was on drugs. 所以他认为我嗑了药。
(Laughter) （笑声）
So he drags me out of the car, he searches me, he marches me over to the police car, and only when he verified I didn't have a police record, could I show him I had a twin in the front seat. 于是他把我拖出车子,又搜了我的身, 他把我押到警车那儿, 直到他验证了我并没有犯罪记录, 我才有机会解释我和副驾驶座位上的是双胞胎。
verified:adj.已查清的,已证实的;
But even as we were driving away, you could see by the look on his face he was convinced that I was getting away with something. 但是直到我们开走了,你仍可以看到他的表情 他认定我一定干了什么坏事。
Our mind is hard to change once we become convinced. 一旦我们认定了的事情,我们很难改变看法。
So it might be very natural to feel demoralized and defeated after you fail. 所以当你失败了,感觉士气低落是很自然的。
demoralized:adj.士气低落的; v.使士气低落;
But you cannot allow yourself to become convinced you can't succeed. 但是你不能允许自己相信你不可能成功。
You have to fight feelings of helplessness . 你要和那种无助的感觉斗争。
helplessness:n.无能为力;无可奈何状态;
You have to gain control over the situation. 你要重新控制局面。
And you have to break this kind of negative cycle before it begins. 而且你必须在这种负能量循环开始前打破它。
negative:adj.[数]负的;消极的;否定的;阴性的;n.否定;负数;[摄]底片;v.否定;拒绝;
Our minds and our feelings, they're not the trustworthy friends we thought they were. 我们的想法和感觉, 它们不是像我们想象的那么忠诚的朋友。
trustworthy:adj.可靠的;可信赖的;
They are more like a really moody friend, who can be totally supportive one minute, and really unpleasant the next. 它们更像是一个非常情绪化的朋友, 有时非常支持你,而有时令人不愉快。
moody:adj.喜怒无常的;易怒的;郁郁寡欢的; supportive:adj.支持的;支援的;赞助的; unpleasant:adj.令人不快的;不舒服的;不客气的
I once worked with this woman who after 20 years marriage and an extremely ugly divorce , was finally ready for her first date. 我以前的一个女同事 她结婚20年之后离婚了,婚离的很惨烈, 然后她终于准备好开始新的约会了。
extremely:adv.非常,极其;极端地; ugly:adj.丑陋的;邪恶的;令人厌恶的; divorce:n.离婚;分离;v.与某人离婚;使分离; finally:adv.终于;最终;(用于列举)最后;彻底地;
She had met this guy online, and he seemed nice and he seemed successful, and most importantly , he seemed really into her. 她在网上认识了这个男的。他看上去人很好,也很成功, 最重要的是,他似乎对她非常感兴趣。
and most importantly:最主要的是…;
So she was very excited, she bought a new dress, and they met at an upscale New York City bar for a drink. 她非常兴奋,还为约会买了新裙子, 然后他们约在纽约的一个高级酒吧里喝一杯。
upscale:adj.迎合高层次消费者的;质优价高的;vt.升高一级;
Ten minutes into the date, the man stands up and says, "I'm not interested," and walks out. 约会才进行了10分钟,那位男士站起来说, “我没兴趣了,” 然后就走了。
Rejection is extremely painful . 被拒绝是极其痛苦的。
painful:adj.痛苦的;疼痛的;令人不快的;
The woman was so hurt she couldn't move. All she could do was call a friend. 这位女士非常受伤,以致于都动不了了。于是她给一个朋友打电话。
Here's what the friend said: "Well, what do you expect? 她朋友是这样说的:“那你还想怎样？
You have big hips , you have nothing interesting to say, why would a handsome, successful man like that ever go out with a loser like you?" 你又胖又没有什么好聊的, 为什么任何一个英俊的成功男士 会和你这样的失败者约会呢？“
hips:n.臀部;髋;臀部…的;野蔷薇果(hip的复数)
Shocking, right, that a friend could be so cruel? 太不像话了,是不是,朋友怎么可以这样冷酷无情？
But it would be much less shocking if I told you it wasn't the friend who said that. 这或许听上去不太过分, 要是我告诉你这话不是朋友说的。
It's what the woman said to herself. 这其实是那位女士对她自己说的。
And that's something we all do, especially after a rejection. 我们都干过这事儿,尤其是被拒绝之后。
especially:adv.尤其;特别;格外;十分;
We all start thinking of all our faults and all our shortcomings, what we wish we were, what we wish we weren't, we call ourselves names. 我们开始去想我们犯的错,我们的缺点, 我们要是这样就好了,我们要是不那样就好了, 我们给自己起外号。
Maybe not as harshly , but we all do it. 也许程度不同,但我们都干过这事。
harshly:adv.严厉地;刺耳地;粗糙地;
And it's interesting that we do, because our self-esteem is already hurting. 我们为什么会这样做。我们的自尊已经被伤害了。
self-esteem:n.自尊;自负;自大;
Why would we want to go and damage it even further? 为什么我们要进一步伤害它呢？
We wouldn't make a physical injury worse on purpose . 要是身体受伤了,我们不会故意去把它弄的更糟。
injury:n.伤害,损害;受伤处; on purpose:有目的地,故意地;
You wouldn't get a cut on your arm and decide, "Oh, I know! 你要是胳膊上有个伤口,你不会说,“啊,我知道！
I'm going to take a knife and see how much deeper I can make it." 我要拿刀看我到底能捅多深。“
But we do that with psychological injuries all the time. 但是我们经常如此对待心理伤害。
Why? Because of poor emotional hygiene. 为什么？由于糟糕的心理保健意识。
Because we don't prioritize our psychological health. 因为我们不重视心理健康。
We know from dozens of studies that when your self-esteem is lower, you are more vulnerable to stress and to anxiety , that failures and rejections hurt more and it takes longer to recover from them. 很多研究表明,如果你的自尊心低落, 你就更容易感到压力和焦虑, 失败和拒绝会伤害你更深,你也需要更多的时间复原。
anxiety:n.焦虑;渴望;挂念;令人焦虑的事; rejections:n.排斥(rejection的复数);废料;
So when you get rejected , the first thing you should be doing is to revive your self-esteem, not join Fight Club and beat it into a pulp . 所以如果你被拒绝了,首要的事情是应该 重新激活你的自尊心,而不是去拳击俱乐部打拳来发泄。
rejected:adj.被拒的;不合格的;v.拒绝,驳回;(reject的过去式和过去分词) revive:vi.复兴;复活;苏醒;恢复精神;vt.使复兴;使苏醒;回想起;重演,重播; pulp:n.纸浆; v.使…化成纸浆; vi.变成纸浆;
When you're in emotional pain, treat yourself with the same compassion you would expect from a truly good friend. 当你在经历感情上痛苦, 像一个真正的好朋友那样同情你自己。
compassion:n.同情;怜悯;
We have to catch our unhealthy psychological habits and change them. 我们需要改变不健康的心理习惯。
unhealthy:不健康的
One of unhealthiest and most common is called rumination . 最常见又最不健康的习惯之一就是穷思竭虑。
rumination:n.沉思;反刍;
To ruminate means to chew over. 就是事后反复咀嚼回味一件事。
ruminate:vt.反刍;沉思;反复思考;vi.沉思,反刍;
It's when your boss yells at you, or your professor makes you feel stupid in class, or you have big fight with a friend and you just can't stop replaying the scene in your head for days, sometimes for weeks on end. 比如你的老板冲你发脾气了,或是教授在课上让你感到愚蠢, 或是你和好朋友吵架了, 然后你不断的在脑海里回放当时的情况,好几天, 甚至好几个礼拜都不停。
replaying:v.重赛;重新播放(replay的现在分词)
Ruminating about upsetting events in this way can easily become a habit, and it's a very costly one. 反复回味不愉快的事很容易变成习惯, 而这个习惯代价很大。
Ruminating:vt.反刍;沉思;反复思考;vi.沉思,反刍; upsetting:adj.令人心烦意乱的; v.使烦恼; (upset的现在分词) costly:adj.昂贵的;代价高的;
Because by spending so much time focused on upsetting and negative thoughts, you are actually putting yourself at significant risk for developing clinical depression , alcoholism , eating disorders , and even cardiovascular disease. 因为当你在不愉快和负面的事情上花这么多时间, 你把自己放在一个非常危险的境地, 可能诱发抑郁症,酗酒,饮食失调, 甚至心血管疾病。
clinical:adj.临床的;诊所的; depression:n.沮丧;洼地;不景气;忧愁; alcoholism:n.酗酒;[内科]酒精中毒; disorders:n.无秩序,混乱; v.[电子]扰乱(disorder的单三形式); cardiovascular:adj.[解剖]心血管的;
The problem is the urge to ruminate can feel really strong and really important, so it's a difficult habit to stop. 问题在于那种反复回味的需要会变得非常强烈,非常紧迫, 所以这种习惯会很难打破。
I know this for a fact, because a little over a year ago, 我知道事实如此,因为就在一年多以前,
I developed the habit myself. 我自己就经历了这个习惯。
You see, my twin brother was diagnosed with stage III non-Hodgkin's lymphoma . 我的双胞胎哥哥被确诊为三期非霍奇金淋巴瘤。
diagnosed:v.诊断(疾病);判断(问题的原因);(diagnose的过去分词和过去式) lymphoma:n.[肿瘤]淋巴瘤;
His cancer was extremly aggressive . 他的癌症来势汹汹。
cancer:n.癌症;恶性肿瘤; aggressive:adj.侵略性的;好斗的;有进取心的;有闯劲的;
He had visible tumors all over his body. 全身都有看得到的肿瘤。
visible:adj.明显的;看得见的;现有的;可得到的;n.可见物;进出口贸易中的有形项目; tumors:n.肿瘤(tumor的复数);
And he had to start a harsh course of chemotherapy . 他要做一轮大剂量的化疗。
chemotherapy:n.[临床]化学疗法;
And I couldn't stop thinking about what he was going through. 我情不自禁去想他所经历的这一切。
I couldn't stop thinking about how much he was suffering, even though he never complained , not once. 情不自禁去想他受的这些罪, 尽管他从没抱怨过,一次都没有。
complained:v.抱怨;埋怨;发牢骚;(complain的过去分词和过去式)
He had this incredibly positive attitude . 他有着这种不可思议的积极态度。
positive:adj.积极的;[数]正的,[医][化学]阳性的;确定的;n.正数;[摄]正片; attitude:n.态度;看法;意见;姿势;
His psychological health was amazing. 他的心理健康程度太了不起了。
I was physically healthy, but psychologically I was a mess . 我身体上很健康,但心理上我那时是一团糟。
psychologically:adv.心理上地;心理学地; mess:n.混乱;餐厅;杂乱;肮脏;v.使不整洁;弄脏;弄乱;随地便溺;
But I knew what to do. 但我知道该怎样做。
Studies tell us that even a two-minute distraction is sufficient to break the urge to ruminate in that moment. 研究表明,哪怕只是分心短短两分钟 都足以打破那一刻你穷思竭虑的需求。
distraction:n.注意力分散;消遣;心烦意乱; sufficient:adj.足够的;充分的;
And so each time I had a worrying, upsetting, negative thought, 所以每次当我担心,烦恼,或带有负面情绪时,
I forced myself to concentrate on something else until the urge passed. 我就强迫自己专注于其他的事情,直到那种感觉过去。
concentrate on:集中精力于;全神贯注于;
And within one week, my whole outlook changed and became more positive and more hopeful. 仅仅一周时间,我的视角就全变了 变得更积极,更充满希望。
outlook:n.见解;前景;人生观;可能性;
Nine weeks after he started chemotherapy, my brother had a CAT scan , and I was by his side when he got the results. 做了化疗九周之后,我哥哥做了电脑断层扫描, 出结果的时候,我就在他身边。
CAT scan:n.计算机层析成像扫描;
All the tumors were gone. 所有的肿瘤都消失了。
He still had three more rounds of chemotherapy to go, but we knew he would recover. 他还得再做三轮化疗, 但是我们知道他能恢复。
This picture was taken two weeks ago. 这张照片是两周前照的。
By taking action when you're lonely, by changing your responses to failure, by protecting your self-esteem, by battling negative thinking, you won't just heal your psychological wounds , you will build emotional resilience , you will thrive . 当你在孤独的时候采取行动, 当你改变对待失败的反应, 当你保护自己的自尊心, 当你与负面的想法做斗争, 你不仅可以治愈心理上的创伤, 你会建立起情绪恢复能力,你会变得更强。
responses:n.回答,答复;反应;响应;(response的复数) wounds:n.(身体上的)伤,伤口; v.使(身体)受伤; (wound的第三人称单数和复数) resilience:n.恢复力;弹力;顺应力; thrive:v.繁荣;茁壮成长;蓬勃发展;兴旺发达;
A hundred years ago, people began practicing personal hygiene, and life expectancy rates rose by over 50 percent in just a matter of decades. 一百年以前,人们开始注重个人卫生, 人的寿命延长了50%还多 这仅用了十年就实现了。
personal:adj.个人的;身体的;亲自的;n.人事消息栏;人称代名词; life expectancy:预期寿命;
I believe our quality of life could rise just as dramatically if we all began practicing emotional hygiene. 我相信,我们的生活质量也会有同样程度的提高 如果我们开始关注情绪上的保健。
dramatically:adv.戏剧地;引人注目地;adv.显著地,剧烈地;
Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone was psychologically healthier? 能想象一下么,这个世界会是什么样子 如果每个人都在心理上更健康
If there were less loneliness and less depression? 如果世上少一些孤独和抑郁
If people knew how to overcome failure? 如果人们了解如何走出失败的阴影
overcome:vt.克服;胜过;vi.克服;得胜;
If they felt better about themselves and more empowered ? 如果人们更自信,充满力量。
empowered:v.授权;给(某人)…的权力;(empower的过去分词和过去式)
If they were happier and more fulfilled ? 如果人们更幸福,更满足。
fulfilled:adj.感到满足的; v.实现; (fulfill的过去式和过去分词)
I can, because that's the world I want to live in, and that's the world my brother wants to live in as well. 我能,因为那是一个我想置身其中的世界, 也是我哥哥想置身其中的世界。
And if you just become informed and change a few simple habits, well, that's the world we can all live in. 只要你了解这些知识,并改变一些简单的习惯, 那将是一个我们都能置身其中的世界。
informed:adj.见多识广的; v.通知; (inform的过去分词和过去式)
Thank you very much. 非常感谢。
(Applause) （鼓掌）