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EmtithalMahmoud_2016P-_一位年轻的诗人讲述达尔富尔的故事_
I was 10 years old when I learned what the word " genocide " meant. 当我在十岁的时候, 我已认识到甚么是「种族灭绝」。
genocide:n.种族灭绝;灭绝整个种族的大屠杀;
It was 2003, and my people were being brutally attacked because of their race -- hundreds of thousands murdered, millions displaced , a nation torn apart at the hands of its own government. 在 2003 年, 我的族人因种族而遭残酷的攻击, 成千上百人被谋害, 上百万人流亡。 一个被自己政府亲手撕裂的国家,
brutally:adv.残忍地;野蛮地;兽性地; displaced:v.取代;替代;置换;迫使(某人)离开家园;转移;(displace的过去式和过去分词)
My mother and father immediately began speaking out against the crisis . 我的父母立即出面发声抨击时局。
crisis:n.危机;危险期;决定性时刻;adj.危机的;用于处理危机的;
I didn't really understand it, except for the fact that it was destroying my parents. 我当时并不了解, 只知道我父母正因此饱受摧残。
One day, I walked in on my mother crying, and I asked her why we are burying so many people. 有一天,我撞见正在哭泣的母亲, 我问她为何我们要埋葬这么多人,
I don't remember the words that she chose to describe genocide to her 10-year-old daughter, but I remember the feeling. 我忘了她用了什么字眼 向她的十岁女儿解释种族灭绝, 然而我仍记得那种感觉,
describe:v.描述;形容;把…称为;画出…图形;
We felt completely alone, as if no one could hear us, as if we were essentially invisible . 我们感到孤立无援, 彷佛无人听到我们的吶喊, 好像没人看得到我们。
essentially:adv.本质上;本来; invisible:adj.看不见的;n.看不见的人或物;
This is when I wrote my first poem about Darfur . 就在当时我写下 关于达尔富尔的第一首诗,
Darfur:n.达尔富尔(苏丹地名);
I wrote poetry to convince people to hear and see us, and that's how I learned the thing that changed me. 我通过写诗说服人们 聆听与关注我们, 我也同时受到影响从而改变,
poetry:n.诗;诗意,诗情;诗歌艺术; convince:v.使确信;使相信;说服,劝说;
It's easy to be seen. 被看见很容易,
I mean, look at me -- I'm a young African woman with a scarf around my head, an American accent on my tongue and a story that makes even the most brutal of Monday mornings seem inviting. 看看我,一个包头巾的年轻非洲女性, 操着美国口音, 我的故事会令最无情的 星期一早晨都散发出吸引力。
accent:n.口音;重音;强调;特点;重音符号;v.强调;重读;带…口音讲话;
But it's hard to convince people that they deserve to be seen. 但很难去说服人们 去看见这些东西。
deserve:vi.应受,应得;
I learned this in my high school classroom one day, when my teacher asked me to give a presentation about Darfur. 我在高中某天的课堂里 领悟到这一点, 当时我的老师要我做一个 关于达尔富尔的简报。
presentation:n.展示;描述,陈述;介绍;赠送;
I was setting up the projector when a classmate of mine said, "Why do you have to talk about this? 当我在架设投影机时 我的一个同学问道: 「为什么我们要讲这个？」
projector:n.[仪]投影仪;放映机;探照灯;设计者;
Can't you think about us and how it will make us feel?" 「为什么你都不考虑我们的感受？」
(Laughter) （笑声）
My 14-year-old self didn't know what to say to her, or how to explain the pain that I felt in that moment, and in every moment that we were forced not to talk about "this." 当时十四岁的我 不知道该跟她说什么, 或是解释我那一刻感受到的痛, 以及每次当我们被强迫 不准谈论「这件事」。
Her words took me back to the days and nights on the ground in Darfur, where we were forced to remain silent; where we didn't speak over morning tea because the warplanes overhead would swallow any and all noise; back to the days when we were told not only that we don't deserve to be heard but that we do not have a right to exist. 她的话把我带回了 在达尔富尔的日日夜夜, 在那里我们被逼着保持沈默; 在那里我们不在喝早茶时聊天, 因为在空中盘旋的战机 会把一切喧哗都吞噬; 回到那些日子我们不仅被告知 我们不值得被倾听, 我们甚至没有生存权利。
warplanes:n.军用飞机,战斗机; overhead:n.开销;经常费用;经常开支;adj.头上方的;地面以上的;adv.在头上方;在空中 swallow:v.吞下;咽下;吞没;相信;n.吞;咽;燕;一次吞咽的量; only that:只是;要不是;
And this is where the magic happened, in that classroom when all the students started taking their seats and I began to speak, despite this renewed feeling that I didn't deserve to be there, that I didn't belong there or have a right to break the silence. 此时奇迹发生了, 教室里所有的学生开始在椅子上坐好, 然后我开始说话, 尽管我还是觉得我不配在那里, 或是我不属于那里, 或拥有打破沈默的权利。
despite:prep.尽管,不管;n.轻视;憎恨;侮辱; renewed:adj.再次发生的; v.重新开始; (renew的过去分词和过去式)
As I talked, and my classmates listened, the fear ebbed away. 当我在陈述, 并且我的同学们在聆听, 恐惧感消失了。
ebbed:n.衰退;退潮;衰落;vi.衰退;减少;衰落;潮退;
My mind became calm, and I felt safe. 我开始冷静下来, 并且我感受到了久违的安全。
It was the sound of our grieving , the feel of their arms around me, the steady walls that held us together. 那是我们哀悼的声音, 他们的手臂围绕在我身边的感觉, 形成稳固的墙壁将我们凝聚在一起。
grieving:v.悲伤,悲痛,伤心;使悲伤;使伤心;(grieve的现在分词) steady:adj.稳定的; v.使稳定; v.稳定地; n.关系固定的情侣;
It felt nothing like a vacuum . 我不再感到空虚。
vacuum:n.真空; adj.真空的; v.用真空吸尘器清扫;
I choose poetry because it's so visceral . 我选择写诗是因为 它是如此发自内心。
visceral:adj.内脏的;出于本能的;发自肺腑的;粗俗的;
When someone is standing in front of you, mind, body and soul , saying " Witness me," 当一个人站在你面前, 你不可能感受不到强烈的 自身的人性。
body and soul:整个;身体与灵魂;灵与肉;全心全意; Witness:n.证人;目击者;证据;v.目击;证明;为…作证;
it's impossible not to become keenly aware of your own humanity . 你不可能感受不到强烈的 自身的人性。
keenly:adv.敏锐地;强烈地;锐利地; humanity:n.人类;人道;仁慈;人文学科;
This changed everything for me. 这彻底改变了我
It gave me courage. 它给了我勇气。
Every day I experience the power of witness, and because of that, I am whole. 每一天我都在体验着 强而有力的见证, 也因为如此,我找回完整自我。
And so now I ask: 所以现在我问各位:
Will you witness me? 你愿意见证我吗？
They hand me the microphone as my shoulders sink under the weight of this stress. 他们递给我一个麦克风, 我的肩膀因压力的重量而垂下。
microphone:n.麦克风;传声器;话筒;
The woman says, "The one millionth refugee just left South Sudan. 一位女士说: 「一百万难民刚刚离开了南苏丹。
millionth:n.百万分之一;第一百万;adj.百万分之一的;第一百万的; refugee:n.难民;避难者;逃亡者;v.避难;adj.避难的;
Can you comment?" 你可以发表看法吗？」
I feel my feet rock back and forth on the heels my mother bought, begging the question: 我感觉我的脚跟在母亲买来的鞋里 不安地前后摇晃, 想着问题论点:
back and forth:前后移动的,来回的,反复的; heels:n.高跟鞋(heel的复数);脚踝;残余料;v.紧跟;给(鞋等)装跟(heel的三单形式);
Do we stay, or is it safer to choose flight? 我们应该留下, 还是搭飞机离开比较安全？
My mind echoes the numbers: one million gone, two million displaced, 400,000 dead in Darfur. 我脑海里响着一堆数字: 一百万人不在了, 两百万人流亡, 四十万人死在达尔富尔。
echoes:n.回声; v.发出回声;
And this lump takes over my throat, as if each of those bodies just found a grave right here in my esophagus . 这巨大的肿块盘踞在我的喉咙, 像是每一具尸体已找到安息之地, 就在我的食道里。
lump:n.肿块;(通常为无定形的)块;隆起;笨重的人;v.把…归并一起(或合起来考虑); grave:adj.重大的;严肃的;黯淡的;n.墓穴,坟墓;死亡;v.雕刻;铭记; esophagus:n.[解剖]食管;[解剖]食道;
Our once country, all north and south and east and west, so restless the Nile couldn't hold us together, and you ask me to summarize . 我们曾经的国家, 北方、南方、东方和西方, 全都不得安宁, 尼罗河都不能将我们连结在一起, 然后现在你要我作出总结。
restless:adj.焦躁不安的;不安宁的;得不到满足的; summarize:v.总结;概述;概括;归纳;
They talk about the numbers as if this isn't still happening, as if 500,000 didn't just die in Syria , as if 3,000 aren't still making their final stand at the bottom of the Mediterranean , 他们说着那些数字, 彷佛这些事情已不再发生, 彷佛那五十万人不是 刚刚才死在叙利亚, 彷佛那三千人没有在 地中海的海底里, 找到了旅途终点。
Syria:n.叙利亚共和国; Mediterranean:n.地中海;adj.地中海的;
as if there aren't entire volumes full of fact sheets about our genocides , and now they want me to write one. 彷佛那些卷宗没有满满 记录着我们的种族灭绝, 然后现在他们要我再写一笔。
volumes:n.卷;体积;容积;大量;(volumes是volume的复数) sheets:n.床单;被单;薄片,薄板;(sheet的复数) genocides:n.种族灭绝;灭绝整个种族的大屠杀;
Fact: we never talked over breakfast, because the warplanes would swallow our voices. 真相是: 我们从不在吃早餐时说话, 因为战机会吞噬我们的声音。
Fact: my grandfather didn't want to leave home, so he died in a war zone. 真相是: 我的祖父不想离开家园, 所以他死在战区里。
Fact: a burning bush without God is just a fire. 真相是: 燃烧的荆棘里没有神 就只是一团火。
bush:n.灌木; v.以灌木装饰; adj.如灌木般长得低矮的;
I measure the distance between what I know and what is safe to say on a microphone. 我思量着,在我知道的事实 跟麦克风之间, 有哪些是我可以安全地说出口的。
Do I talk about sorrow? Displacement ? 我是否该谈到那些悲痛和顛沛流离？
Displacement:n.取代,位移;[船]排水量;
Do I mention the violence , how it's never as simple as what you see on TV, how there are weeks' worth of fear before the camera is on? 我该提起那些暴力 从来都不像是电视上看到那样简单, 那是在被镜头拍到前 就已长期累积的恐惧？
violence:n.暴力;侵犯;激烈;歪曲;
Do I tell her about our bodies, how they are 60 percent water, but we still burn like driftwood , making fuel of our sacrifice ? 我是否该告诉她我们身体的 百分之六十是水组成, 但燃烧起来如流木, 作为燃料壮烈牺牲？
driftwood:n.浮木;流散板;废弃物;adj.漂流木的; sacrifice:n.牺牲;舍弃;祭献;祭祀;祭品;v.牺牲;献出;作祭献
Do I tell her the men died first, mothers forced to watch the slaughter ? 我是否该告诉她男人先死, 母亲们被迫看着屠杀？
slaughter:vt.屠宰,屠杀;杀戮;使惨败;n.屠宰,屠杀;杀戮;消灭;
That they came for our children, scattering them across the continent until our homes sank? 他们抓了我们的孩子, 将他们分散到大陆各地 直到我们的家园沦陷？
scattering:n.散射;分散;adj.分散的;v.散射;散布;驱散(scatter的ing形式); continent:n.大陆,洲,陆地;adj.自制的,克制的;
That even castles sink at the bite of the bomb? 连城堡都会因炮火的侵蚀而崩陷？
Do I talk about the elderly , our heroes, too weak to run, too expensive to shoot, how they would march them, hands raised, rifles at their backs, into the fire? 我是否该提到老人们, 我们的英雄, 太虚弱而无法逃走, 所以他们被命令行军, 高举双手,背后 被步枪指着,走向烈火？ 他们的助行手杖被投入火中 使火不致熄灭？
elderly:adj.上了年纪的;过了中年的;稍老的; rifles:n.[军]步枪(rifle复数);来福枪;卡宾枪;
How their walking sticks kept the flames alive? 他们的助行手杖被投入火中 使火不致熄灭？
It feels too harsh for a bundle of wires and an audience to swallow. 对听众来说,要消化这些 如吞下铁线般,生硬且严酷。
harsh:adj.严厉的;严酷的;刺耳的;粗糙的;刺目的; bundle:n.包; v.匆匆送走; (成群地)匆忙赶往;
Too relentless , like the valley that filled with the putrid smoke of our deaths. 如此残酷无情, 彷佛山谷间充斥着 我们死亡时散发的腐败气息。
relentless:adj.无情的;残酷的;不间断的; putrid:adj.腐败的;腐烂的;令人厌恶的;
Is it better in verse ? 假如放在诗里会好些吗？
verse:n.诗,诗篇;韵文;诗节;vi.作诗;vt.使熟练,使精通;
Can a stanza become a burial shroud ? 诗篇可以用作为裹尸布吗？
stanza:n.演出期;局;场;诗的一节; shroud:n.寿衣;覆盖物;船的横桅索;[电]护罩;vt.覆盖;包以尸衣;
Will it sting less if I say it softly ? 如果我轻声细述, 心中刺痛会少一些吗？
sting:v.刺;蜇;叮;(使)感觉刺痛;n.刺;刺伤;蜇伤;刺毛; softly:adv.温柔地;柔和地;柔软地;静静地;
If you don't see me cry, will you listen better? 如果你没看见我哭泣, 你是否会更用心倾听？
Will the pain leave when the microphone does? 当麦克风被拿开时, 悲痛是否也会离我远去？
Why does every word feel as if I'm saying my last? 为什么我说的一字一句 都感觉像我的最后遗言？
Thirty seconds for the sound bite , and now three minutes for the poem. 三十秒的演讲摘要, 然后现在是三分钟的咏诗。
sound bite:(新闻采访的)原声摘要播出;
My tongue goes dry the same way we died, becoming ash, having never been coal. 我的舌头干渴,和我们死去时一样, 在变成煤炭前已化为灰烬。
I feel my left leg go numb, and I realize that I locked my knees, bracing for impact . 我感到我的左脚麻木, 然后发现我双膝已牢牢钉住, 抵挡着冲击。
bracing:n.支撑; adj.令人振奋的; v.绷紧,顶住(brace的现在分词形式); impact:n.影响;效果;碰撞;冲击力;v.挤入,压紧;撞击;对…产生影响;
I never wear shoes I can't run in. 我从不穿无法让我奔跑的鞋。
Thank you. 谢谢。
(Applause) （掌声）
So, I wanted to leave on a positive note, because that's the paradox that this life has been: in the places where I learned to cry the most, 我想在此留下一个乐观的小结, 因为这就是我人生里的矛盾点: 在那个让我流最多眼泪的地方,
positive:adj.积极的;[数]正的,[医][化学]阳性的;确定的;n.正数;[摄]正片; paradox:n.悖论,反论;似非而是的论点;自相矛盾的人或事;
I also learned how to smile after. 我也在事过境迁后学着微笑。
So, here goes. 好,开始了。
'"You Have a Big Imagination or 400,000 Ways to Cry." 「你有一个巨大的想像力 或是 四十万种哭泣的方式。」
Imagination:n.想象;想象力;创造力;想象的事物;
For [Zainab]. 致席娜布。
I am a sad girl, but my face makes other plans, focusing energy on this smile, so as not to waste it on pain. 我是一个悲伤的女孩, 但这不反应在我的脸上, 我想尽全力微笑, 不想浪费精力在悲痛。
The first thing they took was my sleep, eyes heavy but wide open, thinking maybe I missed something, maybe the cavalry is still coming. 他们首先夺走了我的睡眠, 我的眼皮沈重但睁着老大, 想着我或许遗漏了什么, 也许骑兵还会来。
cavalry:n.骑兵;装甲兵;装甲部队;
They didn't come, so I bought bigger pillows . 但他们没有来, 所以我买了个更大的枕头。
pillows:n.枕头;v.枕着(某物);(pillow的第三人称单数和复数)
(Laughter) （笑声）
My grandmother could cure anything by talking the life out of it. 我的祖母可以治愈一切, 她的话语能让万物冉冉生辉。
And she said that I could make a thief in a silo laugh in the middle of our raging war. 她说我可以让一个仓庫里的小偷 在肆虐的战争里大笑。
silo:n.筒仓;青贮窖;飞弹发射井;vt.把…存入青贮窖;把…储存在筒仓内; raging:adj.愤怒的,狂暴的;v.发怒,恼火(rage的现在分词);
War makes a broken marriage bed out of sorrow. 战争让破裂的婚姻不再显得忧伤。
You want nothing more than to disappear , but your heart can't salvage enough remnants to leave. 你别无所求,只想消失, 但你的心已所剩无几,无法离去。
disappear:v.消失;失踪;不复存在; salvage:n.打捞;海上救助;抢救财货;救难的奖金;v.抢救;海上救助; remnants:n.残余;残留物(remnant的复数);adj.残存的;
But joy -- joy is the armor we carried across the borders of our broken homeland. 但是喜悦── 喜悦是我们横跨 破碎家园时戴着的盔甲。
armor:n.[军]装甲;盔甲;v.为…装甲;
A hasty mix of stories and faces that lasts long after the flavor is gone. 胡乱混杂着故事和面孔 在甘苦逝去后仍余韵久绕。
hasty:adj.轻率的;匆忙的;草率的; flavor:n.情味,风味;香料;滋味;v.加味于;
A muscle memory that overcomes even the most bitter of times, my memory is spotted with days of laughing until I cried, or crying until I laughed. 身体记忆克服了最苦涩的时刻, 但记忆里的伤痕有着那些笑到流泪 或是痛哭到大笑的剪影,
muscle:n.肌肉;力量;v.加强;使劲搬动;使劲挤出; overcomes:vt.克服;胜过;vi.克服;得胜; bitter:adj.苦的; n.苦味; v.激烈地; v.使变苦; spotted:adj.有花点的;有斑点的;v.看见;看出;发现;让步;(spot的过去分词和过去式)
Laughter and tears are both involuntary human reactions , testaments to our capacity for expression . 笑和泪是人类自然的反应, 证明着我们的表达能力。
involuntary:adj.无意识的;自然而然的;不知不觉的; reactions:n.反应;回应;抗拒;生理反应;副作用(reaction的复数) testaments:n.[法]遗嘱;圣约;确实的证明; capacity:n.能力;容量;资格,地位;生产力; expression:n.表现,表示,表达;
So allow me to express that if I make you laugh, it's usually on purpose . 所以请容许我在此表达, 如果我逗你笑, 通常那是有意的。
on purpose:有目的地,故意地;
And if I make you cry, 如果我惹你哭,
I'll still think you are beautiful. 我还是觉得你很美。
This is for my cousin Zainab, bedridden on a random afternoon. 仅此献给我的表妹,席娜布, 在病床边的某个下午。
bedridden:adj.卧床不起的; random:adj.[数]随机的;任意的;胡乱的;n.随意;adv.胡乱地;
I hadn't seen her since the last time we were in Sudan together, and there I was at her hospital bedside in a 400-year-old building in France. 自从上次一起在苏丹之后 我就没见过她, 再见面是我伫立在 医院里她的病榻旁, 在法国,一栋四百年建筑里。
bedside:n.床边,床旁;adj.床旁的,枕边的;
Zainab wanted to hear poems. 席娜布想要听首诗。
Suddenly, English, Arabic and French were not enough. 忽然间,英文、阿拉伯文、 跟法文都不够用。
Every word I knew became empty noise, and Zainab said, "Well, get on with it." 所有我知道的文字 都变成虚无的噪音。 但是席娜布说: 「嘿,就直接开始啊。」
get on with:v.在…获得成功,于…友好相处;继续干;
(Laughter) （笑声）
And I read her everything that I could, and we laughed, and we loved it, and it was the most important stage that I've ever stood on, surrounded by family, 于是我尽我所能地为她朗读, 然后我们笑着, 我们享受其中。 我站在那个最重要的阶段, 被家人环绕着,
by remnants of a people who were given as a dowry to a relentless war but still managed to make pearls of this life; by the ones who taught me to not only laugh, but to live in the face of death; who placed their hands across the sky, 以及其他残存下来的人 曾经给这无情战争作了陪嫁, 但仍能在人生里找到珍珠; 还有那些人教导我不只要笑, 但更要活着面对死亡; 他们的手横跨天空,
dowry:n.嫁妆;天资;亡夫遗产; pearls:n.珍珠;像珍珠之物;(pearl的复数) in the face of:面对;
measuring the distance to the sun and saying, "Smile; 丈量着离太阳之间的距离,说道:
I'm gonna meet you there."
And for Zainab -- 而席娜布──
Zainab, who taught me love in a place like France, 席娜布在法国这样的地方, 教导我爱的真谛。
Zainab, who wanted to he.ar poems on her deathbed -- 席娜布想在她临终前听诗──
deathbed:n.临终之时;临死所卧之床;adj.临终时作的;
Dilated fibromyalgia . 扩张型心肌病变:
Dilated:v.扩大;(使)膨胀,扩张;(dilate的过去分词和过去式) fibromyalgia:n.纤维肌痛;纤维组织肌痛;
Her heart muscles expanded until they couldn't function. 她的心肌会一直扩张, 直到失去功能为止。
muscles:n.肌肉(muscle的复数); expanded:adj.扩充的;展开的;vt.扩大(expand的过去式);
And she held me, and she made me feel like gold. 可她抱着我,让我觉得自己像金子。
And I said, "Zainab, isn't it strange that your only problem is that your heart was too big?" 我说:「席娜布,你不觉得奇怪吗？
Thank you. 谢谢。
(Applause) （掌声）