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ElynSaks_2012G-_一段精神疾病的传奇_从内心看起_
So I'm a woman with chronic schizophrenia . 我是一个患有慢性精神分裂症的女人
chronic:adj.慢性的;长期的;习惯性的; schizophrenia:n.[内科]精神分裂症;
I've spent hundreds of days in psychiatric hospitals. 我曾经有几百天都 待在精神病医院里面
psychiatric:adj.精神病学的;精神病治疗的;
I might have ended up spending most of my life on the back ward of a hospital, but that isn't how my life turned out. 也许我有可能一生 大部分时间都待在医院的病房里 但是我的人生并没有这样
ward:n.病房; v.防止;
In fact, I've managed to stay clear of hospitals for almost three decades, perhaps my proudest accomplishment . 事实上, 我成功的离开了医院 将近三十年了 这可能是我最自豪的成就了
accomplishment:n.成就;完成;技艺,技能;
That's not to say that I've remained clear of all psychiatric struggles. 但是这并不代表我没有 精神上的挣扎
After I graduated from the Yale Law School and got my first law job, my New Haven analyst , Dr. White, announced to me that he was going to close his practice in three months, several years before I had planned to leave New Haven. 当我从耶鲁大学毕业以后 我得到了第一份法律工作, 我在纽黑文的医生, 外特 告诉我他将在三个月之后 停止他的治疗工作。这发生在 我准备离开纽黑文的几年前。
Haven:n.避难所;保护区;v.把船开进港;掩护; analyst:n.分析者;精神分析医师;分解者;
White had been enormously helpful to me, and the thought of his leaving shattered me. 外特对我有很大的帮助, 想到他的离开几乎 让我崩溃
enormously:adv.巨大地,庞大地;非常地,在极大程度上; shattered:adj.受到严重打击的; v.(使)破碎,碎裂; (shatter的过去式和过去分词)
My best friend Steve, sensing that something was terribly wrong, flew out to New Haven to be with me. 我最好的朋友史蒂夫 感觉到了有东西很不对 飞到了纽黑文来和我待在一起
Now I'm going to quote from some of my writings : "I opened the door to my studio apartment. 现在我要读一段我自己的笔记了: 我打开我一室一厅的房子
quote:v.引用;报价;举例说明;开价;为(企业的股份)上市;n.引用; writings:n.作品,篇章(writing的复数形式); studio:n.工作室;[广播][电视]演播室;画室;电影制片厂;
Steve would later tell me that, for all the times he had seen me psychotic , nothing could have prepared him for what he saw that day. 史蒂夫后来告诉我 即使他多次见过我病发的时候,也还是 为他当天见到的我吃惊。
psychotic:adj.精神病的;n.精神病患者;疯子;
For a week or more, I had barely eaten. 我有一个星期没怎么吃东西了
barely:adv.仅仅,勉强;几乎不;公开地;贫乏地;
I was gaunt . I walked as though my legs were wooden . 我很憔悴, 我走路的时候 感觉自己的脚是木头做的
gaunt:adj.憔悴的;荒凉的;枯瘦的; wooden:adj.木制的;木头的;木头似的;死板的
My face looked and felt like a mask. 我感觉自己的脸是一张面具
I had closed all the curtains in the apartment, so in the middle of the day the apartment was in near total darkness. 我把所有的窗帘都关起来了 正午的时候 我的房间几乎是完全黑暗的
The air was fetid , the room a shambles . 空气难闻, 屋子凌乱
fetid:adj.臭的;恶臭的;腐臭的; shambles:v.蹒跚;拖着脚走;(shamble的第三人称单数)
Steve, both a lawyer and a psychologist , has treated many patients with severe mental illness, and to this day he'll say I was as bad as any he had ever seen. 史蒂夫, 作为一个律师和心理学家,治疗过 很多有严重精神病的患者, 直到今天 他会觉得这是他见过的最坏的情况了
psychologist:n.心理学家,心理学者; treated:v.以…态度对待;把…看作;(treat的过去分词和过去式) patients:n.接受治疗者,病人;(patient的复数) severe:adj.极为恶劣的;十分严重的;严厉的;苛刻的; mental:adj.精神的;脑力的;疯的;n.精神病患者; to this day:至今;
'Hi,' I said, and then I returned to the couch , where I sat in silence for several moments. “你好”, 我说, 然后回到我沉静了 一时的沙发上
couch:n.睡椅,长沙发;床;卧榻;v.蹲伏,埋伏;躺着; in silence:沉默地;
'Thank you for coming, Steve. 谢谢你的到来
Crumbling world, word, voice. 摇摇欲坠的世界,词, 声音
Crumbling:v.(使)破碎,成碎屑;坍塌;损坏;崩裂;(crumble的现在分词)
Tell the clocks to stop. 告诉钟停下来
Time is. Time has come.' 'White is leaving,' Steve said somberly . 时间, 时间来了 “外特要离开了”, 史蒂夫说
somberly:adv.阴沉地;光线昏暗地;忧郁地;严峻地;颜色暗淡地;
'I'm being pushed into a grave . The situation is grave,' I moan. “我被推倒坟墓里了, 处境就是坟墓” 我呻吟到
grave:adj.重大的;严肃的;黯淡的;n.墓穴,坟墓;死亡;v.雕刻;铭记;
'Gravity is pulling me down. 地心引力在把我往下拉
I'm scared. Tell them to get away.'" 我很害怕, 告诉他门离开“
As a young woman, I was in a psychiatric hospital on three different occasions for lengthy periods. 作为一个年轻女人, 我在精神病院里 待过三段很长的时间。
lengthy:adj.漫长的,冗长的;啰唆的;
My doctors diagnosed me with chronic schizophrenia, and gave me a prognosis of "grave." 我的医生给我诊断了慢性精神分裂 给了我一个”不乐观“的预测
diagnosed:v.诊断(疾病);判断(问题的原因);(diagnose的过去分词和过去式) prognosis:n.[医]预后;预知;
That is, at best, I was expected to live in a board and care, and work at menial jobs. 就是说, 我只能在看护下活着 做很低下的工作
menial:adj.卑微的;仆人的;适合仆人做的;n.仆人;住家佣工;下贱的人;
Fortunately , I did not actually enact that grave prognosis. 但是很幸运的是, 我其实没有 执行这个预测
Fortunately:adv.幸运地; enact:vt.颁布;制定法律;扮演;发生;
Instead, I'm a chaired Professor of Law, Psychology and Psychiatry at the USC Gould School of Law, 相反, 我是一个南加州大学Gould 法学院的首席法律教授, 心理学教授,精神病学教授。
Psychology:n.心理学;心理状态; Psychiatry:n.精神病学;精神病治疗法;
I have many close friends and I have a beloved husband, Will, who's here with us today. 我有很多亲近的朋友 和亲爱的丈夫, 他今天也来了
beloved:adj.心爱的;挚爱的;n.心爱的人;亲爱的教友;
(Applause) Thank you. （掌声） 谢谢！
He's definitely the star of my show. 他当然是我人生钟的明星。
definitely:adv.清楚地,当然;明确地,肯定地;
I'd like to share with you how that happened, and also describe my experience of being psychotic. 我想和你分享这是怎样发生的, 而且向你描述我作为一个精神病患者
describe:v.描述;形容;把…称为;画出…图形;
I hasten to add that it's my experience, because everyone becomes psychotic in his or her own way. 我想说的是,这只是我的经历 因为每个人的精神病多有不同的症状
hasten:vt.加速;使赶紧;催促;vi.赶快;急忙;
Let's start with the definition of schizophrenia. 让我们从精神分裂的定义开始把,
definition:n.定义;清晰度;(尤指词典里的词或短语的)释义;解释;
Schizophrenia is a brain disease . 精神分裂是一种大脑疾病
disease:n.病,[医]疾病;弊病;vt.传染;使…有病;
Its defining feature is psychosis , or being out of touch with reality. 它的主要症状是幻想, 或者是与 现实脱离
defining:v.解释(词语)的含义;给(词语)下定义;阐明;界定;(define的现在分词) psychosis:n.精神病;精神错乱; out of touch:失去联系;不来往的;
Delusions and hallucinations are hallmarks of the illness. 妄想和幻觉 是这个病的标志
Delusions:n.[内科]妄想;错觉(delusion的复数形式); hallucinations:n.幻视,幻听;幻觉;幻象;(hallucination的复数) hallmarks:印记;
Delusions are fixed and false beliefs that aren't responsive to evidence , and hallucinations are false sensory experiences. 妄想是顽固,错误和不会因为现实而改变的信仰 幻觉是不存在的感觉
responsive:adj.响应的;应答的;回答的; evidence:n.证据,证明;迹象;明显;v.证明; sensory:adj.感觉的;知觉的;传递感觉的;
For example, when I'm psychotic I often have the delusion that I've killed hundreds of thousands of people with my thoughts. 比如, 当我病发的时候, 我总是有我用我的想法 杀了几百个人的错觉
I sometimes have the idea that nuclear explosions are about to be set off in my brain. 我有时候会觉得 自己脑子里正要发生核爆炸
nuclear:adj.原子能的;[细胞]细胞核的;中心的;原子核的; explosions:n.[力]爆炸;爆发(explosion的复数);怒气大作; are about to:眼看就要;即将;正要;行将;
Occasionally , I have hallucinations, like one time I turned around and saw a man with a raised knife. 也有时候, 我有幻觉 有个人在我后面 高举这一把刀
Occasionally:adv.偶尔;有时候;偶然;
Imagine having a nightmare while you're awake. 想象以下在清醒的情况下做噩梦
nightmare:n.恶梦;梦魇般的经历;adj.可怕的;噩梦似的;
Often, speech and thinking become disorganized to the point of incoherence . 言语和思想经常变得没有头绪 简直没有任何逻辑
disorganized::v.瓦解;打乱;(disorganize的过去式和过去分词形式) incoherence:n.不连贯,无条理;
Loose associations involves putting together words that may sound a lot alike but don't make sense , and if the words get jumbled up enough, it's called "word salad." 当人有散漫的联想的时候, 就会把一些很相似的词 放在一起, 没有任何意义 感觉像一个文字混在一起的“沙拉”
Loose:adj.宽松的; v.释放; v.松散地; n.放纵; associations:n.协会,[遗]关联(association复数);关联分析,协会组织; involves:v.包含;需要;牵涉;牵连;影响;(使)参加,加入(involve的第三人称单数) make sense:有意义;讲得通;言之有理; jumbled:adj.乱七八糟的;vt.搞乱(jumble的过去分词);
Contrary to what many people think, schizophrenia is not the same as multiple personality disorder or split personality. 和大部分人以为的恰好相反,精神分裂不是 多重人格或 人格分裂
Contrary:adj.相反的;对立的;adv.相反地;n.相反;反面; multiple:adj.数量多的;多种多样的;n.倍数; personality disorder:n.人格障碍; split:v.分离;使分离;劈开;离开;分解;n.劈开;裂缝;adj.劈开的;
The schizophrenic mind is not split, but shattered. 精神分裂的大脑不是分开的, 是破碎的
schizophrenic:adj.精神分裂症的;n.精神分裂症的患者;
Everyone has seen a street person, unkempt , probably ill-fed, standing outside of an office building muttering to himself or shouting. 每个人都看到过街上有人 不修边幅, 营养不良 站在外面乱对自己说话 或者大声嚷嚷
unkempt:adj.蓬乱的,不整洁的;(言语等)粗野的; muttering:n.独自怨言,喃喃自语;v.咕哝;发牢骚(mutter的现在分词);
This person is likely to have some form of schizophrenia. 这种人多半是有精神分裂
But schizophrenia presents itself across a wide array of socioeconomic status , and there are people with the illness who are full-time professionals with major responsibilities. 但是精神分裂出现在很多不同的 社会层次中。 其中有很多患者 是有全职工作的, 承担着很大责任的。
array:n.数组,阵列;排列,列阵;大批,一系列;衣服;v.排列,部署;打扮; socioeconomic:adj.社会经济学的; status:n.地位;状态;情形;重要身份; full-time:adj.专职的;全日制的;全部时间的; professionals:n.[管理]专业人员(professional的复数);
Several years ago, I decided to write down my experiences and my personal journey , and I want to share some more of that story with you today to convey the inside view. 几年前, 我决定 把我的个人经历写下来 而且我像和你分享更多我的个人经历 以此给大家一个轻身经历的人的角度看待这个事情
journey:n.旅行;行程;vi.旅行; convey:vt.传达;运输;让与;
So the following episode happened the seventh week of my first semester of my first year at Yale Law School. 接下载这件事发生在我上耶鲁大学法学院 的第一学期的第七周
episode:n.一段经历;片段,插曲;一集; semester:n.学期;半年;
Quoting from my writings: "My two classmates, Rebel and Val, and I had made the date to meet in the law school library on Friday night to work on our memo assignment together. 从我的笔记中: ”我的两个同学, Rebel和Val 和我约了一个时间 星期五一起在图书馆 学习我们的备忘录的作业
Quoting:v.引用;报价;举例说明;开价;为(企业的股份)上市;(quote的现在分词) Rebel:n.反政府的人;叛乱者;造反者;反抗权威者;v.造反;反抗;背叛;adj.造反的; memo:n.备忘录; assignment:n.分配:(分派的)工作,任务:
But we didn't get far before I was talking in ways that made no sense. 但是我们没有完成, 因为我开始 胡言乱语
' Memos are visitations ,' I informed them. “备忘录是探访”, 我告诉他们
Memos:n.备忘录,备注留言板(memo复数); visitations:n.访问;探视;视察;正式访问; informed:adj.见多识广的; v.通知; (inform的过去分词和过去式)
'They make certain points. The point is on your head. “他们有写观点, 观点就在你脑子里,
make certain:弄清楚;弄确实;
Pat used to say that. Have you killed you anyone?' Pat 曾经就这么说, 你杀了人吗？‘
Rebel and Val looked at me as if they or I had been splashed in the face with cold water. Rebel 和Val看着我, 好像我在 他们脸上泼了冷水一样
splashed:v.泼洒;把(水、泥等)泼在…上(splash的过去分词和过去式)
'What are you talking about, Elyn?' 'Oh, you know, the usual. Who's what, what's who, heaven and hell. Let's go out on the roof. “你在说什么？, Elyn？“ ”哦, 你知道的, 谁是什么, 什么是谁？, 天堂和地狱,让我们去屋顶。
It's a flat surface. It's safe.' 那是平的, 那里安全。“
Rebel and Val followed and they asked what had gotten into me. Rebel和Val跟着我 问我怎么了
'This is the real me,' I announced, waving my arms above my head. ”这就是真正的我“ 我说 高高的挥着我的手
And then, late on a Friday night, on the roof of the Yale Law School, 然后, 在星期五很晚的时候, 在法学院的楼顶上
I began to sing, and not quietly either. 我开始唱歌,很大声
'Come to the Florida sunshine bush . ”来到佛罗里达 阳光和灌木
sunshine:n.阳光;日光;欢乐;幸福 bush:n.灌木; v.以灌木装饰; adj.如灌木般长得低矮的;
Do you want to dance?' 'Are you on drugs?' one asked. 'Are you high?' 'High? Me? No way, no drugs. 你想跳舞吗？“ ”你嗑药了吗” 有人问, “你high了吗？” “咳？不可能, 没有嗑药。
Come to the Florida sunshine bush, where there are lemons , where they make demons .' 'You're frightening me,' one of them said, and Rebel and Val headed back into the library. 来到佛罗里达, 阳光灌木, 那里有柠檬, 那里有恶魔 “你吓倒我了”, 他们一个人说, Rebel和Val 回到了图书馆。
lemons:n.[园艺]柠檬(lemon的复数); demons:n.恶魔;魔鬼;心魔;邪念;(demon的复数) frightening:adj.可怕的;骇人的;引起恐惧的;v.使惊吓;使惊恐(frighten的现在分词)
I shrugged and followed them. 我耸耸肩, 跟着他们。
shrugged:v.耸肩(表示不知道或不在乎);(shrug的过去分词和过去式)
Back inside, I asked my classmates if they were having the same experience of words jumping around our cases as I was. 回来之后, 我告诉我的同学他们 有没有同样的胡言乱语的经历 像我一样
'I think someone's infiltrated my copies of the cases,' I said. “我觉得有人进入了我的案件” 我说
infiltrated:v.(使)悄悄进入,潜入;渗入;渗透;(infiltrate的过去分词和过去式)
'We've got to case the joint . “我们要把关节装起来,
joint:n.关节; adj.共同的; v.连接,贴合;
I don't believe in joints , but they do hold your body together.'" -- 我不相信关节, 但是 它们能把身体连起来。－－
joints:n.关节; v.接合,联合; (joint的第三人称单数和复数)
It's an example of loose associations. -- " Eventually I made my way back to my dorm room, and once there, I couldn't settle down. 这就是一个散漫联想的例子 最终我回到了宿舍 到了后, 我没有办法安心。
Eventually:adv.最后,终于; dorm:n.(美口)宿舍; settle:v.定居;结算;停留;确定;n.高背长椅(老式木家具,有扶手,座下多带柜);
My head was too full of noise, too full of orange trees and law memos I could not write and mass murders I knew I would be responsible for. 我脑子里都是噪音 到处都是桔子树和我写不出来的法律备忘录 以及那些我需要为之负责任的大规模谋杀。
mass:n.块,团; adj.群众的,民众的; v.聚集起来,聚集; responsible:adj.负责的,可靠的;有责任的;
Sitting on my bed, I rocked back and forth , moaning in fear and isolation." 坐在床上, 我摇来摇去 在孤独和恐惧中呻吟。”
back and forth:前后移动的,来回的,反复的; moaning:v.呻吟;抱怨;呼啸;发出萧萧声(moan的现在分词)
This episode led to my first hospitalization in America. 这次发病让我第一次在美国住院了,
hospitalization:n.住院治疗;医院收容;住院保险(等于hospitalizationinsurance);
I had two earlier in England. 我前两次在英国
Continuing with the writings: "The next morning I went to my professor's office to ask for an extension on the memo assignment, and I began gibbering unintelligably as I had the night before, and he eventually brought me to the emergency room . 继续我的笔记: “第二天, 我来到我教授办公室, 问 我能不能晚点交作业, 然后喔喔喔欧开始胡言乱语, 就像前一天晚上一样 他最后把我送到急诊室
extension:n.延长;延期;扩大;伸展;电话分机; gibbering:v.(常因害怕而)语无伦次地说;(gibber的现在分词) emergency room:n.急诊室;
Once there, someone I'll just call 'The Doctor' and his whole team of goons swooped down, lifted me high into the air, and slammed me down on a metal bed with such force that I saw stars. 到了之后,有一个人, 我就叫他“医生”吧, 和他的野蛮助手们,飞扑下来 把我举的高高的 然后狠狠的摔在了一张金属床上 重的我都看到星星了
goons:n.暴徒;愚笨者,呆子;细打包麻布(goon的复数形式); swooped:vi.猛扑;突然袭击;突然下降;飞扑;n.猛扑;俯冲;突然袭击;vt.攫取;抓去; slammed:v.(使…)砰地关上;使劲一推;猛烈抨击;(slam的过去分词和过去式)
Then they strapped my legs and arms to the metal bed with thick leather straps . 然后它们把我的手脚都帮起来了 用很厚的皮带
strapped:adj.缺钱的; v.用带子系; (strap的过去分词和过去式) leather:n.皮革;皮革制品;v.用皮革包盖;抽打;adj.皮的;皮革制的; straps:n.[机]皮带(strap的复数); v.用带捆扎;
A sound came out of my mouth that I'd never heard before: half groan , half scream, barely human and pure terror. 一个我丛没有听到过的声音丛我嘴里说出来: 一半呻吟, 一半尖叫 惨无人性,纯粹恐惧
groan:vi.呻吟;抱怨;发吱嘎声;vt.呻吟;抱怨;n.呻吟;叹息;吱嘎声;
Then the sound came again, forced from somewhere deep inside my belly and scraping my throat raw." 然后这个声音又出现了 从我的肚子了逼出来的 刮着我的喉咙
belly:n.腹部;胃;食欲;v.涨满;鼓起; scraping:n.刮屑;削片;v.刮掉;削去;刮坏;(scrape的现在分词)
This incident resulted in my involuntary hospitalization. 这个事情导致了我被强制住院
involuntary:adj.无意识的;自然而然的;不知不觉的;
One of the reasons the doctors gave for hospitalizing me against my will was that I was " gravely disabled." 其中一个理由我医生给的强制住院的理由是 我严重 生活不自理
hospitalizing:vt.就医;送…进医院治疗; gravely:adv.严重地;严肃地;严峻地;沉重地;
To support this view, they wrote in my chart that I was unable to do my Yale Law School homework. 为了支持这个说法, 它们在我的档案里写说我 不能完成我耶鲁法学院的作业。
I wondered what that meant about much of the rest of New Haven. 我不知道这对其他的纽黑文的人意味着什么
(Laughter) （笑声）
During the next year, I would spend five months in a psychiatric hospital. 在第二年, 我又 在医院里待了五个月
At times, I spent up to 20 hours in mechanical restraints , arms tied, arms and legs tied down, arms and legs tied down with a net tied tightly across my chest. 有时候, 我会再机械限制中度过20小时, 手被捆这, 手和脚被紧紧的捆着 手和脚被捆着, 而且胸前 还有一个网子绑着
mechanical:adj.机械的;力学的;呆板的;无意识的;手工操作的; restraints:n.限制,禁止(restraint的复数); tightly:adv.紧紧地;坚固地;
I never struck anyone. 我没有打任何人
I never harmed anyone. I never made any direct threats. 我没有害任何人, 我没有直接威胁任何人
If you've never been restrained yourself, you may have a benign image of the experience. 如果你没有被限制过, 你可能 对这个经历有个不差的印象
restrained:adj.克制的,受限制的;拘谨的;v.抑制;约束;(restrain的过去分词和过去式) benign:adj.良性的;和蔼的,亲切的;吉利的;
There's nothing benign about it. 但是其实糟透了
Every week in the United States, it's been estimated that one to three people die in restraints. 再美国, 每周 都有一到三个人死于这种限制
United:adj.联合的; v.联合,团结; (unite的过去分词和过去式) estimated:adj.估计的;预计的;估算的;
They strangle , they aspirate their vomit , they suffocate , they have a heart attack. 他们被缧, 吸着自己的呕吐物 他们被窒息, 他们心脏病发作
strangle:v.把…勒死;使…窒息;窒息而死; aspirate:vt.送气发音;吸入;adj.送气音的;n.送气音;抽出物; vomit:n.呕吐物;v.呕吐;吐;呕; suffocate:v.受阻,受扼制;窒息; have a heart:v.发慈悲;
It's unclear whether using mechanical restraints is actually saving lives or costing lives. 不知道这种机械限制是在 救人还是害人
unclear:adj.不清楚的;不易了解的;
While I was preparing to write my student note for the Yale Law Journal on mechanical restraints, 当我在耶鲁法学院刊物上给学生准备关于机械限制的 讲义时,
Journal:n.杂志;日记;日志;(用于报纸名)…报;
I consulted an eminent law professor who was also a psychiatrist , and said surely he would agree that restraints must be degrading , painful and frightening. 我咨询了一位知名的法学教授 和精神病学家 并向他肯定了这种 限制时伤人自尊, 痛苦和可怕的
consulted:v.咨询;请教;商议;查阅;查询;参看(consult的过去分词和过去式) eminent:adj.杰出的;有名的;明显的; psychiatrist:n.精神病学家,精神病医生; degrading:adj.降低身份的; v.降低…身份; (degrade的现在分词) painful:adj.痛苦的;疼痛的;令人不快的;
He looked at me in a knowing way, and said, "Elyn, you don't really understand: 他理解的看着我, 说 “Elyn, 你还是不明白:
These people are psychotic. 这些人又精神病。
They're different from me and you. 他们和你和我都不一样
They wouldn't experience restraints as we would." 他们不会像你我一样经历限制。
I didn't have the courage to tell him in that moment that, no, we're not that different from him. 我当时没有勇气告诉他 不, 我们和你并没有什么不同
We don't like to be strapped down to a bed and left to suffer for hours any more than he would. 我们不喜欢被捆绑在床上 跟他一样不喜欢在那里受苦
In fact, until very recently , and I'm sure some people still hold it as a view, that restraints help psychiatric patients feel safe. 事实上, 最近 我肯定现在还是有人觉得 这些限制能帮助病人感到安全
recently:adv.最近;新近;
I've never met a psychiatric patient who agreed with that view. 我从来没有遇到过一个精神病 同意这种说法
Today, I'd like to say I'm very pro-psychiatry but very anti-force. 今天, 我非常赞成心理治疗 但是非常反对强制型治疗
I don't think force is effective as treatment , and I think using force is a terrible thing to do to another person with a terrible illness. 我觉得强迫没有效果, 而且对一个有严重精神病的人 实施强制手段 是很可怕的
effective:adj.有效的,起作用的;实际的,实在的;给人深刻印象; treatment:n.治疗;疗法;对待;处理;讨论;
Eventually, I came to Los Angeles to teach at the University of Southern California Law School. 最终, 我来到了洛杉矶 在南加州法学院教书
For years, I had resisted medication , making many, many efforts to get off. 这些年来, 我一直反对用药 为此会付出一切。
resisted:v.抵制;阻挡;反抗;回击;抵抗;忍住;(resist的过去分词和过去式) medication:n.药;药物;
I felt that if I could manage without medication, 我感觉到我不服用药物也可以保持
I could prove that, after all, 我想要证明毕竟
I wasn't really mentally ill, it was some terrible mistake. 我精神上没问题,只不过是诊断上犯得错误而已
mentally:adv.精神上,智力上;心理上;
My motto was the less medicine, the less defective . 我的理念是服药越少,瑕疵就越少
motto:n.座右铭,格言;箴言; defective:adj.有缺陷的;不完美的;n.有缺陷的人;不完全变化词;
My L.A. analyst, Dr. Kaplan, was urging me just to stay on medication and get on with my life, but I decided I wanted to make one last college try to get off. 我的分析师 Kaplan博士,当时劝我 坚持服药并且就这样生活下午 但是我决定我想要最最后一次尝试
get on with:v.在…获得成功,于…友好相处;继续干;
Quoting from the text: "I started the reduction of my meds , and within a short time 从文中引用: 我开始减少我的用药量,而在短时间之内
reduction:n.减少;缩小;降低;减价;折扣;缩图; meds:n.药物: short time:adj.短暂的;快速的(shorttime的变形);
I began feeling the effects. 我就感觉到了一些变化
After returning from a trip to Oxford, I marched into 在从牛津旅行回来后,我冲进了Kaplan
Kaplan's office, headed straight for the corner, crouched down, covered my face, and began shaking. 的办公室,冲向角落,蹲了下来 捂住我的脸,开始颤抖
crouched:adj.蜷伏的;v.蹲伏;蜷缩(crouch的过去分词);
All around me I sensed evil beings poised with daggers . 在我周围我感觉到了拿了匕首的恶魔
evil:adj.邪恶的;不幸的;有害的;讨厌的;n.罪恶,邪恶;不幸; poised:adj.摆好姿势准备行动的; v.保持(某种姿势); daggers:n.匕首(dagger的复数);短剑;v.用短剑刺(dagger的第三人称单数);
They'd slice me up in thin slices or make me swallow hot coals. 他们把我切成了碎片 或者让我吞下滚烫的煤球
slices:n.切片,切割(slice的复数形式);v.切成薄片(slice的三单形式); swallow:v.吞下;咽下;吞没;相信;n.吞;咽;燕;一次吞咽的量;
Kaplan would later describe me as 'writhing in agony .' Kaplan后来把我当时情景描述为 在撕心裂肺的痛苦中蠕动
agony:n.苦恼;极大的痛苦;临死的挣扎;
Even in this state, what he accurately described as acutely and forwardly psychotic, 即使在这个状态下,他准确地描述为 急性神经病
accurately:adv.精确地,准确地; described:v.描述;形容;把…称为;做…运动;(describe的过去分词和过去式) acutely:adv.尖锐地;剧烈地;
I refused to take more medication. 我拒绝服用更多的药物
The mission is not yet complete. 因为任务还没有完成
mission:n.使命,任务;代表团;布道;v.派遣;向…传教;
Immediately after the appointment with Kaplan, 在与Kaplan的面会结束后,
appointment:n.任命;约定;任命的职位;
I went to see Dr. Marder, a schizophrenia expert who was following me for medication side effects. 我去看了Marder医生,一位精神分裂症专家 他是负责观察我用药的副作用的
He was under the impression that I had a mild psychotic illness. 他觉得我可能有一定程度上的精神分裂
impression:n.印象;影响;效果;感想; mild:adj.温和的; n.(英国的一种)淡味麦芽啤酒;
Once in his office, I sat on his couch, folded over, and began muttering. 一次在他的办公室,我坐在沙发上,蜷缩起来, 然后开始喃喃自语
'Head explosions and people trying to kill. 头破血流,人们试图杀戮,
Is it okay if I totally trash your office?' 'You need to leave if you think you're going to do that,' said Marder. 我能不能把你的办公室彻底当垃圾处理? 如果你那么想的话,你需要现在离开. Marder说
trash:n.垃圾;废物;v.丢弃;修剪树枝;
'Okay. Small. Fire on ice. Tell them not to kill me. 好吧.小一点.在冰上的火.告诉他们不要杀我.
Tell them not to kill me. What have I done wrong? 告诉他们不要杀我.我做错什么了?
Hundreds of thousands with thoughts, interdiction .' 'Elyn, do you feel like you're dangerous to yourself or others? 成百上千个想法被封锁 Elyn,你是不是觉得 你对自己或他人很危险?
interdiction:n.禁止,制止;封锁; do you feel like:你想…吗？;
I think you need to be in the hospital. 我认为你应该待在医院里
I could get you admitted right away , and the whole thing could be very discrete .' 'Ha, ha, ha. 我可以现在就让你被容纳进来,整个事情会变得 十分分散. 哈哈哈,
right away:立刻; discrete:adj.离散的,不连续的;n.分立元件;独立部件;
You're offering to put me in hospitals? 你想把我放在医院里?
Hospitals are bad, they're mad, they're sad. 医院是不好的,它们都疯了,它们都十分难过
One must stay away. I'm God, or I used to be.'" 任何一个人都得远离医院.我就是上帝,或者我以前是.
At that point in the text, where I said "I'm God, or I used to be," my husband made a marginal note. 在那个情况下, 当我说 我是上帝,或者我以前是 的时候,我的丈夫 在边上记了一笔
marginal:adj.边缘的;临界的;末端的;
He said, "Did you quit or were you fired?" 他问: 那你是退出了还是被开除了?
quit:v.离开;放弃;停止;使…解除;n.离开;[计]退出;adj.摆脱了…的;已经了结的;
(Laughter) (笑声)
'"'I give life and I take it away. 我创造生命然后我拿走他们,
Forgive me, for I know not what I do.' 原谅我吧,因为我不知道该做什么.
Forgive:v.原谅;免除(债务,义务等);
Eventually, I broke down in front of friends, and everybody convinced me to take more medication. 最后,我在朋友面前倒塌了, 然后每个人都想说服我去继续服用药物
convinced:adj.坚信; v.使确信; (convince的过去分词和过去式)
I could no longer deny the truth, and I could not change it. 我在也不能否定事实了, 而且我无法改变这样一个事实
deny:v.否定,否认;拒绝给予;拒绝…的要求;
The wall that kept me, Elyn, Professor Saks, separate from that insane woman hospitalized years past, lay smashed and in ruins ." 那堵隔离我,Elyn还有Saks教授的墙 与那个疯女人住院的年头所隔离 在废墟中倒塌.
insane:adj.疯狂的;精神病的;极愚蠢的; hospitalized:vt.住院;入院就医;(hospitalize的过去分词); smashed:adj.大醉;v.打碎;(使)猛烈撞击;(用力)撞开;(smash的过去分词和过去式) ruins:n.遗迹(ruin的复数形式);废墟;v.毁灭(ruin的三单形式);
Everything about this illness says I shouldn't be here, but I am. And I am, I think, for three reasons: 任何关于此疾病都暗示我不应该在这里 但是我还是在这里.我觉得吧..有三个原因:
First, I've had excellent treatment. 第一,我已经有了极好的治疗了
Four- to five-day-a-week psychoanalytic psychotherapy for decades and continuing, and excellent psychopharmacology . 一周四到五次的心理分析和心理治疗 持续了几十年,以及非常先进的心理配药
psychoanalytic:adj.精神分析的;心理分析的; psychotherapy:n.心理疗法;精神疗法; psychopharmacology:n.精神病药物学;药理学;
Second, I have many close family members and friends who know me and know my illness. 第一,我有我的家庭成员都朋友都知道 我和我的疾病
These relationships have given my life a meaning and a depth, and they also helped me navigate my life in the face of symptoms . 这些关系给我的人生 一个意味和一个深度,他们还帮助我 在这些症状面前找到生活的方向
navigate:vt.驾驶,操纵;使通过;航行于;vi.航行,航空; in the face of:面对; symptoms:n.症状;征候;征兆;(symptom的复数)
Third, I work at an enormously supportive workplace at USC Law School. 第三,我在一个极具支持力的工作环境里工作 就在USC法律学校
supportive:adj.支持的;支援的;赞助的; workplace:n.工作场所;车间;
This is a place that not only accommodates my needs but actually embraces them. 这是一个不仅仅满足我需求的地方 而且实际上它拥抱我的需求
accommodates:vt.容纳;使适应;供应;调解;vi.适应;调解; embraces:v.拥抱;乐意采纳(思想、建议等);信奉;包括;(embrace的第三人称单数)
It's also a very intellectually stimulating place, and occupying my mind with complex problems has been my best and most powerful and most reliable defense against my mental illness. 它也同样是一个刺激思考的地方 能够使我的脑子充满各种复杂的问题 这些都是最强有力最有依赖性的抵御 我精神疾病的武器
intellectually:adv.智力上;理智地;知性上; stimulating:adj.激励人的; v.促进; (stimulate的现在分词) occupying:v.占用;使用;居住;占领;占据;(occupy的现在分词) complex:adj.复杂的;合成的;n.复合体;综合设施; reliable:adj.可信赖的;可依靠的;真实可信的;可靠的;
Even with all that — excellent treatment, wonderful family and friends, supportive work environment — 即使这些全都有---良好的治疗,融合的家庭和 朋友,和谐的工作环境--
I did not make my illness public until relatively late in life, and that's because the stigma against mental illness is so powerful that I didn't feel safe with people knowing. 直到很晚我才公开了 我这个疾病 因为与精神疾病作斗争的烙印 太强大了以至于我想让别人知道
relatively:adv.相当程度上;相当地;相对地; stigma:n.[植]柱头;耻辱;污名;烙印;特征;
If you hear nothing else today, please hear this: There are not " schizophrenics ." 如果你今天啥都没听到, 你一定得记住这一点:这些都不是 精神分裂症
schizophrenics:adj.精神分裂症的;n.精神分裂症的患者;
There are people with schizophrenia, and these people may be your spouse , they may be your child, they may be your neighbor, they may be your friend, they may be your coworker . 而是患有精神分裂症的人们,而这些人可能 是你的配偶,也可能是你的孩子 可能是你的邻居,也可能是你的朋友 还有可能是你的同事
spouse:n.配偶;vt.和…结婚; coworker:n.同事;合作者;
So let me share some final thoughts. 好吧.我就说说我最后的想法
We need to invest more resources into research and treatment of mental illness. 我们需要为精神疾病的研究和治疗 进行更多的资源投资
invest:v.投资;(把资金)投入;投入(时间、精力等);授予; resources:n.[计][环境]资源; v.向…提供资金(resource的第三人称单数);
The better we understand these illnesses, the better the treatments we can provide, and the better the treatments we can provide, the more we can offer people care, and not have to use force. 我们理解这些疾病越到位, 我们能提供的治疗就越先进,这样一来, 我们就能给人们带来更多的关怀 而且不需要使用外力
treatments:n.治疗;疗法;对待;处理;讨论;(treatment的复数)
Also, we must stop criminalizing mental illness. 而且,我们应该停止将精神疾病最恶化
criminalizing:vt.宣告…为犯法行为;判定…为非法事件;
It's a national tragedy and scandal that the L.A. County Jail is the biggest psychiatric facility in the United States. 说洛杉矶监狱是美国最大的心理医疗机构 是国家的悲剧和谣言
tragedy:n.悲惨的事;不幸;灾难;悲剧作品; scandal:n.丑闻;流言蜚语;诽谤;公愤; County:n.郡,县; Jail:n.监狱;监牢;拘留所;v.监禁;下狱; facility:n.设施;设备;特别装置;特色;场所;天资;
American prisons and jails are filled with people who suffer from severe mental illness, and many of them are there because they never received adequate treatment. 美国的监狱是那些被精神疾病所折磨的人 占领的,而且很多人在那 是因为他们从未接受过足够的治疗
jails:n.监狱;监牢;拘留所;vt.监禁;下狱; adequate:adj.充足的;适当的;胜任的;
I could have easily ended up there or on the streets myself. 我当初可以轻松地沦落到大家上
A message to the entertainment industry and to the press: 一条对娱乐行业和新闻业的建议:
On the whole , you've done a wonderful job fighting stigma and prejudice of many kinds. 整体来说,你们在与烙印和各种偏见斗争中 干得很不错
On the whole:基本上,大体上;就全体而论; prejudice:n.偏见;侵害;vt.损害;使有偏见;
Please, continue to let us see characters in your movies, your plays, your columns , who suffer with severe mental illness. 拜托了,继续让我们在你们的电影中,你的戏剧中, 你们的专栏中, 看到那些受严重精神疾病折磨的人
columns:n.柱:(通常为)圆形石柱:(书,报纸印刷页上的)栏(column的复数)
Portray them sympathetically , and portray them in all the richness and depth of their experience as people and not as diagnoses . 同情地描述他们, 并且有深度地挖掘他们, 通过他们亲身的经验而不是简单的一个诊断
Portray:vt.描绘;扮演; sympathetically:adv.悲怜地,怜悯地;富有同情心地; richness:n.丰富;富裕;肥沃;华美; diagnoses:n.诊断;调查分析;评价(diagnosis的复数形式);
Recently, a friend posed a question: 最近,我朋友提出一个问题:
posed:v.造成;引起;产生;提问;质询;摆好姿势;(pose的过去分词和过去式)
If there were a pill I could take that would instantly cure me, would I take it? 如果我手里有一片瞬间可以 治好我的药片,我吃不吃它?
pill:n.[医]药丸;药品;
The poet Rainer Maria Rilke was offered psychoanalysis . 诗人Rainer Maria Rilke 被提供了心理分析
Rainer:n.人工降雨装置;喷灌装置; Maria:n.母驴;母马;[天文学]海(指月亮,火星表面的阴暗部分); psychoanalysis:n.精神分析;心理分析;
He declined , saying, "Don't take my devils away, because my angels may flee too." 他拒绝了,说到: 不要把我的邪恶拿走, 因为我的天使也有可能逃跑.
declined:v.减少;下降;衰弱;婉言拒绝;(decline的过去分词和过去式) devils:n.魔王;恶魔;调皮鬼(devil的复数) flee:v.逃走;迅速离开;逃避,逃跑
My psychosis, on the other hand , is a waking nightmare in which my devils are so terrifying that all my angels have already fled . 而我的精神病 是一个现实的噩梦,里面的恶魔十分可怕 以至于所有的天使都逃走了
on the other hand:另一方面; terrifying:adj.令人恐惧的;骇人的;极大的;v.使害怕,使恐怖;(terrify的现在分词) fled:v.迅速离开;逃避,逃跑;(flee的过去分词和过去式)
So would I take the pill? In an instant . 那么我会不会吃掉那个药片了?
In an instant:瞬间;马上;
That said, I don't wish to be seen as regretting the life I could have had if I'd not been mentally ill, nor am I asking anyone for their pity. 我不希望被看作是对于如果我没有精神疾病我会 拥有的生活所后悔 而我也不是在向任何人寻求怜悯
What I rather wish to say is that the humanity we all share is more important than the mental illness we may not. 我实际想说的是我们所共享的人性 比精神疾病要重要的多
humanity:n.人类;人道;仁慈;人文学科;
What those of us who suffer with mental illness want is what everybody wants: in the words of Sigmund Freud , "to work and to love." 那些经历过精神疾病的人想要的 要是其他所有人想要的 Sigmund Freud说到: 去工作,去爱.
Freud:n.佛洛伊德(1856-1939,奥地利心理分析学家及精神病学家);
Thank you. (Applause) 谢谢.(鼓掌)
(Applause) (鼓掌)
Thank you. Thank you. You're very kind. (Applause) 谢谢.谢谢.你们真善良.(鼓掌)
Thank you. (Applause) 谢谢.(鼓掌)