返回首页

DanielleTorley_2020S-_透过火舞，我走出了悲恸_-
When I was six years old, our house caught fire, and my mother died. 我六岁时, 我们的房子失火了, 我的母亲因此丧命。
It was a cold February night in Michigan . 那是密西根一个寒冷的二月夜晚。
Our chimney had recently been fixed, so we had a warm fire going in the fireplace . 我们的烟囱才刚修过, 所以我们在壁炉中点了温暖的炉火。
My younger sister and I were sitting next to our dog and coloring with a brand-new box of colored pencils, when Mom said it was time for bed. 我和妹妹坐在狗旁边, 正在用一盒全新的彩色铅笔画画, 那时,母亲说该上床了。
Michigan:n.密歇根;美国密歇根州; chimney:n.烟囱; recently:adv.最近;新近; fireplace:n.壁炉; brand-new:adj.崭新的;最近获得的;
We'd planned to go up north that night for a weekend of snowmobiling and sledding, but it was already dark and snowing outside, so we decided to leave the next morning instead. 我们本来打算在那晚北上, 用乘雪橇玩雪车来过周末, 但天色已暗,且外面在下雪, 所以我们决定改成隔天早上再出发。
We went upstairs, brushed our teeth, climbed into bed, my sister's room right next to the stairs, and mine at the far end of the hallway. 我们上楼、刷牙、爬上床, 我妹妹的房间就在楼梯旁边, 我的房间则远在走廊的底端。
Our parents tucked us in and kissed us good night then left the door open just a crack , and the hallway light on, as it always was. 我们的父母哄我们入睡, 亲吻我们,道了晚安, 接着把门带上,留下一道门缝, 没有关走廊的灯,向来都是如此。
snowmobiling:n.雪上汽车;机动雪橇; tucked:v.塞进,折叠,卷起;把…藏入;收藏;(tuck的过去分词和过去式) crack:v.使破裂;打开;变声;n.裂缝;声变;噼啪声;adj.最好的;高明的;
In the middle of the night, I woke up sweating, confused because I couldn't see that hallway light. 在半夜时,我满身大汗地醒来, 我很困惑,因为我看不见走廊的灯。
I started shouting for my parents until finally , I heard words that I'll never forget: "Dave, it's a fire!" 我开始大叫爸妈, 直到我终于听见了 我永生难忘的一句话: 「戴夫,失火了！」
We later found out that our fire from earlier had burned through an unrepaired crack in the chimney, causing the fireplace doors to explode and fire to just pour into the living room . 我们后来才知道,是我们先前的炉火 从烟囱没有修好的裂缝中延烧出来, 导致壁炉的门爆炸, 火苗立刻灌入客厅中,
confused:adj.困惑的; v.使糊涂; (confuse的过去分词和过去式) finally:adv.终于;最终;(用于列举)最后;彻底地; unrepaired:adj.未修缮的,未修理的; explode:v.爆炸;爆裂;勃然(大怒);突然发生(危险); pour:v.倒; n.流出; (已熔金属的)一次浇注量; living room:n.客厅;起居室;
I remember my mom running down to my sister's room, frantically searching for her and finally finding her on the floor. 我记得我母亲冲到我妹妹的房间, 疯狂地找她, 终于在地板上找到她。
I crawled after her on my hands and knees, trying not to breathe in the smoke. 我用双手和双膝跟在她身后爬行, 试图不要吸入烟雾。
I remember standing next to my sister's room, trying to turn on that hallway light, but it was already on; 我还记得我站在我妹妹的房间旁边, 试图打开走廊的灯, 但灯其实已经开了;
frantically:adv.疯狂似地;狂暴地; crawled:v.爬;爬行;(昆虫)爬行;缓慢行进(crawl的过去分词和过去式)
I just couldn't see it because the smoke was so thick. 只是因为烟雾太浓,我看不见。
I remember feeling the heat of the fire on my skin and hearing the sound of it as it climbed up the stairs. 我记得我的皮肤 能感受到大火的热度, 且能听见火势爬上楼梯 向上延烧的声音。
My dad ran down to my bedroom window as an escape route , but it was February, and it was frozen shut. 我父亲想要打开 我卧室的窗户来逃脱, 但那时是二月, 窗户被冰冻到打不开。
Eventually , he broke the window and pried it open, his arms and hands covered in glass and cuts. 最后,他打破窗户才将它打开, 他的手臂和双手都是碎玻璃和割伤。
He lifted my sister and me onto an awning under the window and told us to shout for help. 他把我妹妹和我 送到窗户下的雨篷上, 叫我们大声呼救。
route:n.路线;路途;固定线路;途径;v.按某路线发送; Eventually:adv.最后,终于; pried:v.探听,打听,探查(隐私);(pry的过去分词和过去式) awning:n.雨篷;[建]遮阳篷;甲板等上的天篷;
Not seeing my mom, he considered going back into the fire to find her, but after looking at my sister and me huddled together on that roof and knowing that neither of them may make it out, he stayed with us, calling her name through the window instead. 因为没看见我母亲, 他考虑要冲回火场去找她, 但看着我和我妹妹 在屋顶上蜷缩成一团, 且知道（一旦去找）很可能 他们两人都逃不出来, 所以他决定留下陪我们, 只是透过窗户喊着她的名字。
After a few minutes, a man driving down the street saw the smoke and fire, drove onto our lawn , climbed onto the roof of his car and told us to jump into his arms. 几分钟后,有名男子开车经过, 把车开到我们的草皮上, 再爬到他的车顶, 叫我们跳到他怀中。
huddled:v.挤成一团;胡乱堆积(huddle的过去式及过去分词形式); lawn:n.草地;草坪;
We'd never seen him before, and even though he saved our lives, we never saw him again. 我们以前没见过他, 虽然他救了我们的命, 我们从此也没再见过他。
We were brought over to a neighbor's house while Dad continued to wait on the roof for my mom, reaching his arms and hands through the window and into the fire, calling her name over and over . 我们被带到邻居家, 我父亲仍然在屋顶上等我母亲, 把他的手臂和手穿过窗户, 伸到火中, 不断叫喊她的名字。
He said later that when the fire department arrived, they carried him down the ladder just as a lower-level window shattered and burst into flames . 后来,他说,当消防队抵达时, 他们用梯子把他带下来, 下面一层的窗户在那时粉碎, 瞬间陷入火海。
It took the fire department longer to find my mom. 消防队花了更久才找到我母亲。
over and over:反复;再三; fire department:n.消防部门:消防队员:消防队: ladder:n.阶梯;途径;梯状物;v.成名;发迹;在…上装设梯子; lower-level:低级别的; shattered:adj.受到严重打击的; v.(使)破碎,碎裂; (shatter的过去式和过去分词) burst into flames:突然着火;爆炸;
She'd been on the floor of my bedroom the entire time, pinned down by a dresser that had fallen on her leg. 她一直都倒在我房间的地板上, 衣橱倒下来压住了她的腿。
We think she went back to look for our dog, but by the time the fire department reached them it was too late. 我们认为她是回去找我们的狗, 但当消防队找到 她和狗时,已经太迟了。
She died on the way to the hospital. 她在被送医的过程中不治。
Dad was in critical condition, with smoke inhalation and burns and cuts over a third of his body. 父亲的状况很危急, 他吸入浓烟、有烧伤, 且身体有三分之一都是割伤。
pinned:v.固定;使不能动弹;按住;钳住;(pin的过去分词和过去式) dresser:n.梳妆台;碗柜;化妆师;裹伤员; critical:adj.鉴定的;[核]临界的;批评的,爱挑剔的;危险的;决定性的;评论的; inhalation:n.吸入;吸入药剂;
He spent nearly a month in the hospital, unable to attend Mom's funeral and undergoing multiple , excruciating skin graft surgeries . 他住院将近一个月, 无法参加母亲的葬礼, 还要撑过数次极痛苦的植皮手术。
My sister and I stayed with a neighbor across the street, but we would sit in front of their living room window for hours, just staring at the remains of our burnt home. 我和我妹妹待在对街的邻居家中, 但我们会在他们家的客厅 窗户前坐好几个小时, 只是望着我们烧掉的房子。
funeral:n.葬礼;麻烦事;adj.丧葬的,出殡的; undergoing:v.经历,经受(变化、不快的事等);(undergo的现在分词) multiple:adj.数量多的;多种多样的;n.倍数; excruciating:adj.折磨人的;极痛苦的;极坏的;v.折磨;使受酷刑;(excruciate的现在分词) skin graft:n.植皮;皮肤移植;皮移植片; surgeries:n.外科手术(surgery复数); staring:adj.凝视的,目不转睛的;显眼的;v.凝视;盯着看;显眼;(stare的现在分词)
After a few days, it became evident that we would need to go and stay with some different family friends. 几天后,很显然 我们得要离开,去和不同的亲友住。
The next few years were tough. 接下来的几年很辛苦。
As a single father of two young girls, 我父亲成了两个小女孩的
Dad did his very best to provide for us as we all tried to grieve and recover. 单亲爸爸,他尽全力把我们养大, 我们大家都在哀悼和恢复。
We began to move on in this new reality. 我们开始在这新的现实中走下去。[04:11]
evident:adj.明显的;明白的; provide for:供养,供给;规定;为…作准备; grieve:v.使悲伤,使苦恼;悲痛,哀悼;
Dad bought a new house down the street, without a fireplace, and eventually remarried . 父亲在同条街买了新房子, 这次没有壁炉, 后来也再婚了。
My sister and I excelled in school. 我和我妹妹在学校表现出色。
I was a cheerleader , and she rode horses and played in the band . 我是啦啦队长, 她骑马且在乐团中表演。
But nothing could stop the gut-wrenching nightmares that haunted me. 但我摧心裂肝的恶梦始终挥之不去。
remarried:v.再婚;(remarry的过去式和过去分词) excelled:v.优于;超过;超越(excel的过去分词形式);胜过; cheerleader:n.拉拉队队员; band:n.带;波段;频带;箍;v.加彩条(或嵌条等);(将价格、收入等)划分档次; gut-wrenching:adj.极度痛苦的,撕心裂肺的; nightmares:n.噩梦;梦魇;极其糟糕的情况;(nightmare的复数)
I would dream of fire, of being trapped in fire with no escape. 我会梦到大火, 梦到被困在火场,没有出路。
I remember, and even now I can feel, the sheer panic and the pressure in my chest. 我记得,就连现在我还可以感受到 那纯粹的慌张和我胸口的压力。
Or worse were the dreams where I was outside the fire watching it, trying to save the people inside. 更糟糕的是梦见我在房子 外面眼睁睁看着大火, 试图拯救困在里面的人。
trapped:adj.受困的;受限制的;v.使落入险境;使陷入困境;(trap的过去分词和过去式) sheer:adj.纯; v.十足地; n.透明薄纱; v.[航海](使)偏航; (使)转向; panic:adj.恐慌的;n.惊恐;恐慌;惶恐不安;v.惊慌失措;
I'd wake up gasping for breath, tears running down my face and sobbing . 我会上气不接下气地醒来, 泪流满面,啜泣着。
When I was 15, a friend of mine and a very talented artist, painted two abstract portraits for me. 我十五岁时, 我有位朋友是个 很有才华的艺术家, 为我画了两幅抽象的画像。
One was done in black and white and depicted a scared girl cowering in the corner of a room, shadows surrounding her. 一幅是黑白的, 画中是一名害怕的女孩, 蜷缩在房间的角落, 阴影围绕着她。
gasping:adj.喘气的;痉挛的;v.喘气;渴望(gasp的现在分词); sobbing:v.哭诉;泣诉;抽噎着说;(sob的现在分词) abstract:n.摘要; adj.抽象的; vt.摘要; vi.做摘要; portraits:n.肖像;半身照;详细的描述;描绘;(portrait的复数) in black and white:白纸黑字; depicted:vt.描述;描画; cowering:v.(因恐惧而)蜷缩,畏缩,退缩;(cower的现在分词)
The other was a bursting rainbow of color; the girl was in the center of the page, arms open and outstretched , clearly full of joy and happiness. 另一幅则满是五颜六色; 女孩在画面的中间, 张开双臂,向外伸出, 明显充满了喜悦和快乐。
He knew my past, and he knew that I was conflicted and confused, but he had also seen my potential and wanted to show me what he already saw. 他知道我的过去, 他知道我内心很冲突、困惑, 但他也看见我的潜力, 想让我知道他看见了什么。
After a few years, I realized that these two portraits showed two completely different paths before me: a life of fear or the promise and potential for recovery . 几年后,我了解到这两幅画像 呈现出我的两条路, 全然不同的两条路: 恐惧的人生, 或希望和恢复的潜能。
bursting:adj.充满的;渴望的;v.爆炸;猛然打开;突然开始(burst的现在分词); rainbow:n.彩虹 outstretched:adj.伸展的; v.拉(伸)长; (outstretch的过去式和过去分词) conflicted:adj.因心理冲突而不知所措的;v.冲突,抵触;(conflict的过去分词和过去式) potential:n.潜能;可能性;[电]电势;adj.潜在的;可能的;势的; recovery:n.恢复,复原;痊愈;重获;
I had always been drawn to that brighter, more colorful painting, but I wasn't quite sure what it meant for me or how to transform my current mentality into that kind of joy and happiness. 那幅比较亮、比较彩色的画 向来很能吸引我, 但我不确定它对我的意有为何, 或者我要如何转变目前的心态,
So outwardly , I moved on with life -- graduated high school, went to college -- while inwardly , 所以,外表上, 我继续过我的人生—— 高中毕業,进入大学—— 但内在,
I continued to bounce between the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, like a Ping-Pong ball between those two portraits. 我持续不断在最高的高点 和最低的低点之间来回弹着, 就像那两幅画之间的乒乓球。
transform:v.使改变;使改观;使转换;n.[数]变换式;[化]反式; mentality:n.心态;[心理]智力;精神力;头脑作用; outwardly:adv.表面上;向外;外观上地; inwardly:adv.向内地;思想上;在内部; bounce:v.反弹;反射;(使)弹起;n.弹跳;跳动;弹性;
In 2004, I went backpacking through Central America with a friend. 2004 年,我去当背包客, 和一名朋友前往中美洲。
We spent our first week on the island of Roatán, off the coast of Honduras. 我们的第一周待在 宏都拉斯外海的罗阿坦岛上,
After a few days there, my friend and I realized that one of our new local friends was a fire dancer. 在那里待了几天后, 我朋友和我发现, 我们在当地新交到的朋友 当中有一位火舞者。
backpacking:n.徒步旅行; Central America:n.中美洲(包括危地马拉、伯利兹、洪都拉斯、萨尔瓦多、尼加拉瓜、哥斯达黎加以及巴拿马);
Neither of us had ever seen fire dancing before, so one night, we decided to go see a show. 我们都从来没有见过火舞, 所以,有一晚,我们决定去看表演。
We watched, mesmerized , as he and two friends lit these props on fire, threw them in the air and spun them around their bodies. 表演让我们深深着迷, 他和两名朋友把道具点燃, 把道具丢到空中, 绕着他们的身体转动。
Their moves were deliberate and controlled, yet still graceful and flowing to the music. 他们的动作很慎重,控制精准, 但仍然优雅且和音乐完美搭配。
I was completely entranced. 我完全入迷了。
The next day, he offered to teach us how to fire dance, or "spin" -- without fire, of course. 隔天,他提出可以教我们 如何火舞,或「旋转」—— 当然,不用点火。
mesmerized:v.施催眠术,迷住,迷惑(mesmerize的过去式);adj.着迷的; props:n.[矿业]支柱;小道具;后盾(prop的复数);v.支撑;维持(prop的三单形式); spun:adj.纺成的;v.纺(spin的过去分词);旋转; deliberate:v.深思熟虑;仔细考虑;反复思考;adj.故意的;蓄意的;存心的;不慌不忙的; graceful:adj.优雅的;优美的;
He showed us the difference between a fire staff, which is a long piece of wood or aluminum with two Kevlar wicks , and fire poi, which are Kevlar wicks with chains and finger loops . 他教我们道具的差别,火棍 是长的木或铝棍,两头有火布, 另外还有火链, 是火布加上铁链和指环。
After that first time spinning poi, 在第一次舞动火链之后,
I knew that this was a hobby that I wanted to continue learning in the hopes that maybe one day, 我知道这是我想持续学习的嗜好, 希望也许有一天,
I might be brave enough to try it with fire. 我能勇敢到真正尝试点火。
aluminum:n.铝; Kevlar:n.用在芳族聚酰胺纤维商品上的商标; wicks:n.灯芯;蜡烛芯;(电)电极芯;导火线;(wick的复数) loops:n.[计]循环(loop复数); v.使...成环,以圈结,以环连结(loop的第三人称单数形式); spinning:n.纺纱(手艺):纺线v.(使)旋转:纺线:纺纱;(spin的现在分词)
Now, I can guess what people might be thinking: 我猜得到大家可能会怎么想:
How was I not terrified and running in the opposite direction? 我为什么没有吓坏,转身跑掉？
And honestly, I don't know. 老实说,我不知道。
I think that perhaps being a cheerleader and doing gymnastics and piano while growing up, these activities were very structured and prescribed , whereas this type of flow art seemed like a form of meditation but with a focus on fire, this thing that scared me so deeply for my entire life. 我想,也许因为在成长过程中 都是非常有结构且有规矩的活动, 而这种流动的艺术 就像是某种形式的冥想, 只是焦点是在「火」, 我一生中一直深深让我害怕的火。
After that first time practicing, my friend and I cobbled together our own sets of homemade poi using socks, shoelaces and tennis balls. 在练习过第一次之后, 我朋友和我一起手工制作 我们的火链组, 用的是袜子、鞋带,和网球。
We did not light shoelaces and socks on fire, we just used it for the practice part. 我们并没有把鞋带和袜子拿来点火, 只是把它们拿来练习用。
gymnastics:n.体操;体育;体操运动; structured:adj.有结构的;有组织的;v.组织;构成(structure的过去分词);建造; prescribed:v.给…开(药); (prescribe的过去式和过去分词) whereas:conj.然而;鉴于;反之; meditation:n.冥想;沉思,深思; cobbled:adj.铺有鹅卵石的;v.铺鹅卵石(cobbled的过去式和过去分词); shoelaces:n.鞋带;(shoelace的复数)
But after returning home to Michigan, we decided to buy our own sets of actual fire poi. 但在返回密西根之后, 我们决定购买我们自己的火链组。
And after a few months, we decided that we were ready to light them on fire. 几个月后, 我们决定该是点火的时候了。
We bundled up in cotton layers , got a fire extinguisher , wet a towel for safety, prepared our fuel, gave each other a very energetic pep talk and high five and lit those poi on fire. 我们将棉层扎在一起, 拿来了一个灭火器, 将毛巾弄湿以防万一,准备好燃料, 精力充沛地跟彼此说一段 鼓励士气的话,互相击掌, 接着就把火链点燃。
It was terrifying . 那很可怕。
Half of my brain was freaking out and thinking, "OK, wait -- maybe we need to think about this. 我有半个脑子都吓坏了, 想着:「好,等等—— 也许我们要三思而后行。
We should probably stop." 我们应该罢手比较好。」
The sound of the fire as it whooshed by my head was incredibly loud and brought me right back to my childhood . 当火从我头旁边 扫过去时声音相当大, 立马把我带回了童年的记忆。 立马把我带回了童年的记忆。[08:38]
bundled:v.捆绑(bundle的过去分词);包;归拢;把…撵走;adj.捆绑的;附带的; layers:n.层;表层;层次;阶层;v.把…分层堆放;(layer的第三人称单数和复数) fire extinguisher:n.灭火器; energetic:adj.精力充沛的;充满活力的;需要能量的;积极的; pep talk:n.打气的话;激励人心的话; high five:举手击掌 terrifying:adj.令人恐惧的;骇人的;极大的;v.使害怕,使恐怖;(terrify的现在分词) freaking:adj.该死的,他妈的;v.(使)强烈反应,畏惧;(freak的现在分词) whooshed:v.(物件在空气中飞速移动)发出嘶嘶声(嘘嘘声);(whoosh的过去式) incredibly:adv.难以置信地;非常地; childhood:n.童年;幼年;孩童时期
But it was also incredibly exhilarating . 但同时也很让人振奋。
The other half of my brain, the creative half, was thinking, "I can't believe it! I'm a fire dancer." 我的另一半脑子, 创意的那一半,在想: 「我无法置信！我是火舞者。」
For anyone who spins , there's a level of adrenaline or that rush of fire dancing. 任何旋转的人都会分泌肾上腺素, 或者那火舞的奔涌感。
exhilarating:adj.令人兴奋的; v.使高兴; (exhilarate的现在分词) other half:n.另一半(指配偶或男友,女友); creative:adj.创造性的; spins:n.[物]旋转; v.[物]旋转(spin的三单形式); adrenaline:n.[生化]肾上腺素;
But as someone whose life had been so greatly impacted by fire, 但身为一个人生 受到大火严重冲击的人,
I also felt an immense sense of empowerment at being able to control and manipulate fire. 我也感到自己拥有强大的力量, 能够控制、操纵火。
I made a conscious decision to step out of my grief . 我做了有意识的决定, 要步出我的悲痛。
It was not easy. 那并不容易。
greatly:adv.很,大大地;非常; impacted:adj.压紧的;结实的;嵌入的;(人口)稠密的;v.装紧;挤满(impact的过去分词); immense:adj.巨大的,广大的;无边无际的;非常好的; empowerment:n.许可,授权; manipulate:vt.操纵;操作;巧妙地处理;篡改; conscious:adj.意识到的;故意的;神志清醒的; grief:n.悲痛;忧伤;不幸;
There's a Nirvana lyric that says "I miss the comfort of being sad," 超脱乐团有一句歌词是 「我想念感到悲伤时的舒适」,
and that was exactly it. 就是这种感觉。
I was in control of my sadness. 我能控制我的悲伤。
I knew what it would bring to me, and I knew what to expect, but I also knew deep down that eventually, 我知道它会带给我什么, 我知道要期待什么, 但我内心深处也知道,最终,
Nirvana:n.涅槃;天堂; lyric:adj.抒情的;吟唱的;n.抒情诗;歌词;
I had to do that really hard work of trying to heal from my past. 我得非常努力疗愈, 从我的过去走出来。
So I kept practicing. 所以我持续练习。
I took a plastic grocery bag, cut it into strips , tied it to the ends of those poi and used it to replicate the sound of the fire as it went past my head. 我拿杂货店的塑胶袋,裁成带状, 绑在火键的末端, 用它们来彷制火扫过 我的头旁边时发出的声音。
heal:v.复原;治疗(病人);使又愉快起来;(使)结束 grocery:n.食品杂货店;食品杂货; strips:n.条(strip的复数); v.剥夺(stirp的三单形式); replicate:vt.复制; vi.重复; adj.复制的; n.复制品;
And I kept lighting the poi on fire. 我持续将火键点燃。
At some point, something shifted . 在某个时点,转变发生了。
My perspective on fire dancing changed from something that I was apprehensive about to something that brought me a sort of peace. 我对火舞的观点改变了, 从我忧虑的东西, 变成了带给我宁静的东西。
Without realizing it, 不知不觉间,
I had initiated my own form of exposure therapy, an actual type of psychotherapy where you deliberately expose yourself to things that have caused you trauma or scare you. 我展开了我自创式的暴露治疗法, 它是种真的心理治疗法, 刻意将你自己暴露在
shifted:转移;移动(shift的过去式和过去分词); perspective:n.观点;远景;透视图;adj.透视的; apprehensive:adj.忧虑的;不安的;敏悟的;知晓的; initiated:v.开始;发起;创始;使了解;传授;吸收;(initiate的过去式和过去分词) exposure:n.暴露;显露;揭露;面临; psychotherapy:n.心理疗法;精神疗法; deliberately:adv.故意地;谨慎地;慎重地; expose:v.揭露,揭发;使曝光;显示; trauma:n.[外科]创伤(由心理创伤造成精神上的异常);外伤;
I'd exposed myself to fire in this very unique way and had transformed what it meant to me. 我用这种非常独特的方式 将自己暴露在火中, 转变了火对我的意义。
My nightmares slowed down and now, years later, have stopped almost completely. 我的恶梦缓解了, 数年过去,现在我几乎不再做恶梦了。
I started fire dancing not just for myself but at events and performances . 我开始不只为自己火舞, 也去做活动、表演。
I started a fire troop with friends while living in Dubai , created beautiful art with my sister who became a photographer, taught children how to spin at birthday parties, performed onstage and at festivals and even taught my own children the basics of spinning. 住在杜拜时,我和朋友 成立了一个火舞团, 和我妹妹一起创作美丽的艺术, 她后来成了摄影师, 在生日派对上教导孩子如何做旋转, 在节庆活动时在舞台上表演, 最后还教我自己的孩子旋转的基础。
exposed:adj.无遮蔽的; v.暴露; (expose的过去分词和过去式) unique:adj.独特的,稀罕的;[数]唯一的;n.独一无二的人或物; transformed:v.使改变形态;使改变外观(或性质);(transform的过去分词和过去式) performances:n.演出;[法]履行(performance的复数形式); Dubai:n.迪拜(阿拉伯联合酋长国的酋长国之一); performed:v.表演;执行;履行;演出;工作,运转(好/不好)(perform的过去分词和过去式) onstage:adj.台上的;台上演出的;adv.上台;上场;
And that's not to say that I don't still have an apprehension to fire in general . 并不是说我大体上就不再怕火了。
I can practice a move a million times, but then when I try it with fire, 一个动作,我可以练习一百万次, 但当我点火再来做时,
I feel that familiar panic and tightening in my chest. 我的胸口仍然会感到 熟悉的慌张和紧绷。
I'm still apprehensive about living in a two-story house or having a fireplace. 我仍然会怕住在两层楼的房子里, 也会怕有壁炉的房子。
apprehension:n.理解;恐惧;逮捕;忧惧; in general:总之,通常;一般而言; familiar:adj.熟悉的;常见的;亲近的;n.常客;密友; tightening:v.(使)变紧,更加牢固;使更加严格;加强;(tighten的现在分词) two-story:两层(楼)的;
Every night before I go to sleep, 每晚,我睡觉前,
I clear a path between my kids' bedroom doors, our bedroom door and all the exit doors, in case we need to leave quickly. 我会确保孩子的卧室门、 以免我们需要快速离开。 以免我们需要快速离开。
And it's taken me a long time to get on board with the idea of closing bedroom doors at night to slow down a fire, because I'd always thought if I closed my kids' bedroom doors, 我花了很长的时间才能认同 晚上把卧室房门关上 可以减缓大火延烧的观念, 因为我总是认为, 如果关上孩子卧室的房门,
I might not be able to hear them like my mom heard me. 我可能就无法像我母亲当初 听见我叫喊一样听见他们。
And of course, this is my story. 当然,这是我的故事。
I can't say that I have the answer for someone with a different kind of trauma. 我无法说我的答案 适用受到其他创伤的人。
If the situation had been reversed , and I'd lost a child in a fire, 如果情况反过来, 我在大火中失去了孩子,
I'm not sure that fire dancing would be the answer, or if I'd even have the capacity to get near fire again. 我不确定火舞还会是我的答案, 也不确定我会有办法能再次靠近火。
answer for:因…而受罚;对…负责; reversed:v.颠倒; (reverse的过去分词和过去式) capacity:n.能力;容量;资格,地位;生产力;
But what I can say from my own experience is that after experiencing a trauma or hardship , you have a choice between two paths. 但根据我自己的经验,我能说, 在经历了创伤或困境之后, 你可以在两条路之间做选择。
One path will lead you to a life of fear and cowering in the darkness, like that black-and-white painting I described earlier. 一条路会带你到恐惧 且抖缩在黑暗中的人生, 就像我先前提到的黑白画作。
You might move on with life, but at the same time , you're still clinging to that sadness that brings you comfort. 你可能可以继续过日子,但同时, 你仍然会紧抓着 那带给你安慰的悲伤。
hardship:n.艰难;困苦;拮据; black-and-white:adj.印刷的;黑白混合的;用笔写的; described:v.描述;形容;把…称为;做…运动;(describe的过去分词和过去式) at the same time:同时;另一方面;与此同时; clinging:adj.紧身的; v.依附; (cling的现在分词)
The other path, stepping out of grief, will not change or undo anything. 另一条路,走出悲痛, 不会改变什么,发生的已经发生。
It will be hard. 这条路不好走。
It will always be hard, with high mountains and deep, dark valleys. 一直都不好走, 有高山,
But this path looks forward and moves forward. 但这条路是向前看、向前行。
When I learned to dance with fire, 当我学会火舞时,
I learned to reconcile the traumatic part of my life with the totality of my life as it was still unfolding . 我学会在我的人生 仍然在持续展开的过程中, 和我人生中创伤的那部分和平相处,
Fire became more than just trauma but beauty and art as well, everything, all at once, just like life, flickering and smoldering and burning and dazzling , and somehow , in the middle of it, finding a way to dance ... 火变成不只是创伤, 也是美,也是艺术, 这杂陈的五味,就像人生, 摇曳不定、闷烧、 燃烧、让人目眩, 不知怎么的,在这过程中,
reconcile:v.使和谐一致;调和;使配合;使和解;妥协; traumatic:adj.外伤的;创伤的;n.外伤药; totality:n.[天]全食;全体;总数; unfolding:v.(使)展开;打开;展示;透露;(unfold的现在分词) flickering:adj.扑动的; v.闪现; (flicker的现在分词) smoldering:n.闷烧,阴燃;adj.(情绪)郁积的(smoder的变形); dazzling:adj.耀眼的; v.(强光等)使目眩; (dazzle的现在分词) somehow:adv.以某种方法;莫名其妙地;
me. 我。
Thank you. 谢谢。