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ChristianPicciolini_2017X-_我是如何陷入了美国的新纳粹运动_─_和我是如何脱离出来的_
My journey away from violent extremism began 22 years ago, when I denounced racism and left the American white supremacist skinhead movement that I had helped build. 我走出暴力极端主义的旅程 开始于 22 年前, 当我公然谴责了种族主义 并离开了我曾经协助建立的 美国白人至上光头党。
journey:n.旅行;行程;vi.旅行; violent:adj.暴力的;猛烈的; extremism:n.极端主义(尤指政治上的极右或极左);极端性;过激主义; denounced:adj.公开抨击的;v.谴责;揭发;声明…无效(denounce的过去分词); racism:n.种族主义,种族歧视;人种偏见; supremacist:n.至上主义者;adj.至上主义者的; skinhead:n.行为暴戾的青少年;理平头的男人;
(Cheers and applause) （欢呼与掌声）
I was just 22 years old at the time, but I had already spent eight years, from the time I was 14 years old, as one of the earliest and youngest members and an eventual leader within America's most violent hate movement. 当时我只有 22 岁, 但是我已经花了 8 年, 从我 14 岁开始, 成为了最早、最年轻的成员之一, 最后还成为了美国最暴力的 仇恨运动的领导人。
eventual:adj.最后的,结果的;可能的;终于的;
But I wasn't born into hate; in fact, it was quite the opposite. 但我并不是生于仇恨; 事实正好相反。
I had a relatively normal childhood . 我的童年还算挺正常的。
relatively:adv.相当程度上;相当地;相对地; childhood:n.童年;幼年;孩童时期
My parents are Italian immigrants who came to the United States in the mid-1960s and settled on the South Side of Chicago, where they eventually met, and opened a small beauty shop. 我的父母是意大利移民, 在 1960 年代中期来到的美国, 在芝加哥的南城安顿了下来。 他们在那里相识, 并开了一家小型美容店。
immigrants:n.移民(immigrant的复数); United:adj.联合的; v.联合,团结; (unite的过去分词和过去式) settled:adj.稳定的; v.结束; (settle的过去分词和过去式) eventually:adv.最后,终于;
Right after I was born, things got a little bit more difficult. 我出生以后没多久, 生活就变得更困难一些。
They struggled to survive with raising a young family and a new business, often working seven days a week, 14 hours a day, taking on second and third jobs just to earn a meager living. 他们艰难地生活着, 要养活一个年轻的家庭和生意, 常常一周要工作 7 天, 一天 14 个小时, 还要兼职多份工作 只为赚取一点微薄的生活费。
struggled:v.奋斗;努力;争取;艰难地行进;抗争;(struggle的过去式和过去分词) meager:adj.贫乏的;瘦的;n.兆;
And quality time with my parents was pretty nonexistent . 和父母相处的宝贵时光 基本是不存在的。
quality time:n.(尤指关爱子女,增进感情的)黄金时光; nonexistent:adj.不存在的;
Even though I knew they loved me very much, growing up, I felt abandoned . 虽然我知道他们非常爱我, 但成长的过程中, 我觉得我被抛弃了。
abandoned:adj.被抛弃的放纵的;v.抛弃;丢弃,离开;放弃;(abandon的过去分词和过去式)
I was lonely, and I started to withdraw , and then I started to resent my parents and become very angry. 我很孤独,我开始远离一切。 接着,我开始憎恨我的父母, 我变得很愤怒。
withdraw:v.撤回;提;撤离;停止提供; resent:vt.怨恨;愤恨;厌恶;
And as I was growing up, through my teenage years, 我慢慢长大,在青春期,
I started to act out to try and get attention from my parents. 我开始做出格的事 以试图得到我父母的注意力。
And one day, when I was 14, 有一天,我 14 岁时,
I was standing in an alley , and I was smoking a joint , and a man who was twice my age, with a shaved head and tall black boots, came up to me, and he snatched the joint from my lips. 我正站在一个小巷里,吸着大麻, 一名光头男子,年纪有我的两倍, 穿着黑色长靴, 走到了我面前, 从我的唇边夺走了大麻。
alley:n.小巷;小路;小径; joint:n.关节; adj.共同的; v.连接,贴合; shaved:v.剃(须发);(尤指)刮脸;(少量地)削减;(shave的过去分词和过去式) snatched:v.一把抓起;一下夺过;夺去;抢走;偷窃;(snatch的过去分词和过去式)
Then he put his hand on my shoulder and he looked me in the eyes, and he said, "That's what the communists and the Jews want you to do to keep you docile ." 然后他把手放到了我的肩上, 看着我的眼睛, 说到: “这正是共产党和犹太人想让你做的, 把你变得容易驯服。”
communists:n.共产党员(communist的复数形式); docile:adj.温顺的,驯服的;容易教的;
I was 14 years old, 当时我 14 岁,
I'd been trading baseball cards and watching "Happy Days" -- 我还在交换棒球卡片, 看“欢乐时光”（电视剧）－－
I didn't really know what a Jew was. 我并不太知道什么是犹太人。
Jew:v.(集合词)犹太人;犹太人的世界;犹太教;-dom;n.犹太人;犹太教徒;
(Laughter) （笑）
It's true. 这是真的。
And the only communist that I knew was the bad Russian guy in my favorite Rocky movie. 而我唯一知道的共产党员是 在我最喜欢的“洛奇”系列电影中的 俄罗斯反派。
Rocky:adj.岩石的;多岩石的;困难的;难以维持的;
(Laughter) （笑）
And since I'm here baring my soul with you, 既然我是在这里坦白,
baring:n.暴露,掘开;v.脱去;暴露(bare的ing形式);
I can reveal that I did not even know what the word "docile" meant. 我可以告诉你当时我也不知道 “驯服”这个词是什么意思。
reveal:v.显示;透露;揭露;泄露;n.揭露;暴露;门侧,窗侧;
(Laughter) （笑）
Dead serious. 我是认真的。
But it was as if this man in this alley had offered me a lifeline . 但那个巷子里的男人 像是给了我一条生命线。
lifeline:n.生命线;救生索;
For 14 years, I'd felt marginalized and bullied . 14 年来,我曾感到 被边缘化,被欺负。
marginalized:使边缘化;忽略;排斥(marginalize的过去式和过去分词); bullied:v.恐吓;伤害;胁迫;(bully的过去分词和过去式)
I had low self-esteem . 我的自尊心很低。
self-esteem:n.自尊;自负;自大;
And frankly, I didn't know who I was, where I belonged, or what my purpose was. 说实话,我并不知道我是谁, 我归属于哪里, 我的人生目的是什么。
I was lost. 我很迷茫。
And overnight , because this man had pulled me in, and I had grabbed onto that lifeline with every fiber of my being. 一夜间,因为这个男人拽了我一把, 我用尽全身抓紧了那条生命线。
overnight:adj.夜间的; v.在夜间; n.(美)前一天的晚上; grabbed:v.抓住;攫取;抓住,夺得;(grab的过去分词和过去式) fiber:n.纤维;光纤(等于fibre);
I had gone from "Joanie Loves Chachi" 我已从“乔安妮爱恰奇“ （电视剧）
to full-blown Nazi. 走向了彻头彻尾的纳粹。
full-blown:adj.成熟的;(花)盛开的;(帆等)张满的;
Overnight. 一夜间。
I started to listen to the rhetoric and believe it. 我开始倾听他们的言论, 并相信它。
rhetoric:n.修辞,修辞学;华丽的词藻;adj.花言巧语的;
I started to watch very closely as the leaders of this organization would target vulnerable young people who felt marginalized and then draw them in with promises of paradise that were broken. 我开始密切的观察着 这个组织的领导者们, 他们会针对弱势的、 感到自己被边缘化的年轻人, 然后许下自己以后会违背的 天堂般的承诺 来吸引他们。
organization:n.组织;机构;体制;团体; vulnerable:adj.易受攻击的,易受…的攻击;易受伤害的;有弱点的; paradise:n.天堂;至福境地;
And then I started to recruit myself. 接着,我自己也开始招募新人。
recruit:n.新兵; v.吸收(新成员); (通过招募)组成;
I started to do that by making white-power music. 为了招募人,我开始制作 宣传白人至上的音乐。
And soon, I became the leader of that infamous organization that was led by that man in that alley who recruited me that day, who was America's first neo-Nazi skinhead and who had radicalized me. 不久,我成为了 那个声名狼藉的组织的领导者, 之前的领导人就是那个巷子里 招募了我的男人, 他是美国第一个新纳粹光头党成员, 并极端化了我。
infamous:adj.声名狼藉的;无耻的;邪恶的;不名誉的; recruited:v.招聘,雇佣;招募;(recruit的过去分词和过去式) neo-Nazi:adj.新纳粹主义分子的;新纳粹主义的;n.新纳粹主义分子; radicalized:vt.使…激进;使…偏激;vi.激进化;成为过激论者;
For the next eight years, 在接下来的八年中,
I believed the lies that I had been fed. 我相信了那些喂给我的谎言。
And though I saw no evidence of it whatsoever , 尽管我没有看到任何证据,
evidence:n.证据,证明;迹象;明显;v.证明; whatsoever:pron.无论什么;
I didn't hesitate to blame every Jewish person in the world for what I thought was a white, European genocide being promoted by them through a multiculturalist agenda . 但我毫不犹豫的责怪了 世界上每一个犹太人, 因为我以为他们在用多文化的事程 推进欧洲白人的种族屠杀。
hesitate:v.(对某事)犹豫,迟疑不决;顾虑;疑虑; Jewish:adj.犹太人的;犹太族的; genocide:n.种族灭绝;灭绝整个种族的大屠杀; promoted:v.促进:促销:提升:(promote的过去分词和过去式) agenda:n.议事日程;
I blamed people of color for the crime and violence and the drugs in the city, completely neglecting the fact that I was committing acts of violence on a daily basis, and that in many cases, it was white supremacists who were funneling drugs into the inner cities. 我怪罪了有色人种, 怪他们造成了城市里的 犯罪、暴力、和毒品, 完全忽视了事实上,我自己也 天天都在犯下暴力行为。 而且在很多时候, 是白人至上主义者 把毒品带到了城市内部。
violence:n.暴力;侵犯;激烈;歪曲; neglecting:v.未予看管;忽视;不予重视;疏忽;(neglect的现在分词) committing:v.做出;犯罪或错等;自杀;承诺,保证;(commit的现在分词) supremacists:n.种族优越论者;(supremacist的复数) funneling:n.漏斗式;v.成漏斗形;汇集(funnel的现在分词); inner:n.内部;射中接近靶心部分的一发;adj.里面的;向内的;内部的;接近中心的;
And I blamed immigrants for taking jobs from white Americans, completely neglecting the fact that my parents were hardworking immigrants who struggled to survive, despite not getting help from anybody else. 我怪罪了移民, 怪他们抢走了美国白人的工作, 完全忽视了事实上, 我父母也是辛勤劳作的移民, 需要奋斗以生存, 即使没有任何他人的帮助。
despite:prep.尽管,不管;n.轻视;憎恨;侮辱;
For the next eight years, 在接下来的八年里,
I saw friends die, 我看到了朋友死去,
I saw others go to prison and inflict untold pain on countless victims and their families' lives. 看到了他人进入监狱 并施加无法形容的痛苦 到无数个受害者 和他们家人的生活。
inflict:vt.造成;使遭受(损伤,痛苦等);给予(打击等); untold:adj.数不清的;未说过的;未透露的;无限的; countless:adj.无数的;数不尽的;
I heard horrific stories from young women in the movement, who'd been brutally raped by the very men they were conditioned to trust, and I myself committed acts of violence against people, solely for the color of their skin, who they loved, or the god that they prayed to. 我从参与运动中年轻的女性 听到过可怕的故事, 她们被自己习惯性信任的男人强奸, 而我自己也对他人犯下了暴力行为, 只因为他们的肤色, 他们爱的人, 或者他们祈祷的神。
horrific:adj.可怕的;令人毛骨悚然的; brutally:adv.残忍地;野蛮地;兽性地; raped:v.强奸;强暴(rape的过去分词和过去式) committed:adj.坚信的; v.做出错事; (commit的过去分词和过去式) solely:adv.单独地,唯一地;
I stockpiled weapons for what I thought was an upcoming race war. 我积攒了武器, 为了我以为会到来的种族战争。
stockpiled:n.库存;积蓄;vt.贮存;储蓄;vi.积累;储备物资; upcoming:adj.即将来临的;
I went to six high schools; 我去了六所高中:
I was kicked out of four of them, one of them, twice. 我被四所开除, 其中一所被开除了两次。
And 25 years ago, I wrote and performed racist music that found its way to the internet decades later and partially inspired a young white nationalist to walk into a sacred Charleston, South Carolina , church and senselessly massacre nine innocent people. 25 年前,我编写并表演了 种族歧视的音乐。 它十多年后传到了网上, 并部分的启发了 一个年轻的白人民族主义者 走进一个神圣的教堂, 在查尔斯顿,南卡罗来纳州 然后毫无感觉的 屠杀了九个无辜的人。
performed:v.表演;执行;履行;演出;工作,运转(好/不好)(perform的过去分词和过去式) racist:n.种族主义者;种族主义的; partially:adv.部分地;偏袒地; inspired:adj.受到启发的; v.鼓舞; (inspire的过去分词和过去式) nationalist:n.民族主义者; adj.民族主义的(等于nationalistic); Carolina:n.卡罗莱纳州(在美国东南部); senselessly:adv.毫无知觉地;无意识地;不省人事地; massacre:n.屠杀;残杀;惨败;v.屠杀;杀戮;使惨败; innocent:adj.无辜的;无罪的;无知的;n.天真的人;笨蛋;
But then my life changed. 但接着,我的人生改变了。
At 19 years old, I met a girl who was not in the movement, who didn't have a racist bone in her body, and I fell in love with her. 19 岁时,我遇到了一个 不在这个运动中的女孩。 她身体里没有一根种族歧视的骨头。 然后我爱上了她。
And at 19, we got married, and we had our first son. 19 岁时,我们结了婚, 然后有了我们第一个儿子。
And when I held my son in my arms in the delivery room that day, not only did I reconnect with some of the innocence that I had lost at 14 years old, but it also began to challenge 当那天我在产房中 用双手抱起我儿子时, 我不只重新找回了一部分 我 14 岁时丢到的纯真, 我也开始质疑
delivery:n.[贸易]交付;分娩;递送; reconnect:v.使再接合; innocence:n.清白,无罪;天真无邪;
the very important things that drew me to the movement to begin with: identity , community and purpose -- things that I had been struggling with as a young boy. 最一开始把我吸引进 这个运动的重要因素: 身分,集体,和目的－－ 当我还是小男孩时 一直在挣扎的东西。
identity:n.身份;同一性,一致;特性;恒等式; community:n.社区;[生态]群落;共同体;团体;
And now, I struggled with the concept of who I was again. 而现在,我再一次 挣扎于 “ 我是谁 ” 的概念。
Was I this neo-Nazi hatemonger , or was I a caring father and husband? 我是个煽动仇恨的新纳粹, 还是一个有爱心的父亲和丈夫？
hatemonger:na.煽动仇恨者;
Was my community the one that I had manufactured around me to boost my own ego , because I felt self-hatred for myself and I wanted to project it onto others, or was it the one that I had physically given life to? 我的集体是那个我自己捏造出来的、 为了膨胀自我的集体, 因为我曾经恨着自己 并想把这恨意投射到他人身上, 还是那个给了我生命的社会？
manufactured:adj.制造的,已制成的;v.制造,加工(manufacture的过去式); boost:n.提高;增长;帮助;激励;v.使增长;使兴旺;偷窃; ego:n.自我;自负;自我意识; self-hatred:n.自我憎恨;自我仇恨;
Was my purpose to scorch the earth or was it to make it a better place for my family? 我的目的是把一切变成焦土, 还是让我的家庭活得更好？
scorch:vt.烧焦;使枯萎;挖苦;vi.烧焦;枯萎;n.烧焦;焦痕;
And suddenly, like a ton of bricks hit me, 突然间,就像一吨砖块 砸到了我身上,
I became very confused with who I'd been for the last eight years. 我变的非常困惑, 不知道过去 8 年的我是谁。
confused:adj.困惑的; v.使糊涂; (confuse的过去分词和过去式)
And if only I'd been brave enough to walk away at that moment, to understand what the struggle was that was happening inside of me, then maybe tragedy could have been averted . 如果当时的我能足够勇敢地走开, 能理解在我内心所发生的斗争, 那悲剧就可能会被避免。
tragedy:n.悲惨的事;不幸;灾难;悲剧作品; averted:v.防止,避免;转移目光;背过脸;(avert的过去分词和过去式)
Instead, I did compromise . 但是我选择了妥协。
compromise:n.妥协;折中;互让;和解;v.妥协;违背(原则);达不到(标准);使陷入危险;
I took myself off the streets for the benefit of my family, because I was nervous that maybe I could go to jail or end up dead, and they would have to fend for themselves. 为了家庭,我离开了街头, 因为担心我可能会进监狱或者死去, 导致我的家人会需要为自己谋生。
for the benefit of:为…的利益; jail:n.监狱;监牢;拘留所;v.监禁;下狱; fend:vt.谋生;保护;挡开;供养;vi.照料;供养;力争;
So I stepped back as a leader, and instead I opened a record store that I was going to sell white-power music in, of course, because I was importing it in from Europe. 所以我从领导者的位置退了一步, 然后开了一家唱片店。 当然,我打算卖 宣传白人至上的音乐, 因为我在从欧洲进口这些唱片。
But I knew that if I was just a racist store selling racist music the community would not allow me to be there. 不过我知道如果只是一个 种族歧视的店家贩卖种族歧视的音乐 社区肯定不会容许我把店开在那里。
So I decided I was going to also stock the shelves with other music, like punk rock and heavy metal and hip-hop . 所以我决定也在架子上放些其它唱片, 像是朋克摇滚、重金属、 和嘻哈。
punk:n.废物;小阿飞;年轻无知的人;adj.朋客,崩客;无用的,低劣的; heavy metal:重金属; hip-hop:n.街舞,即兴音乐;嘻哈;
And while the white-power music that I was selling was 75 percent of my gross revenue , because people were driving in from all over the country to buy it from the only store that was selling it, 虽然我贩卖的白人至上音乐 占到了我总利润的 75 %, 因为人们会从全国各地开车到 这唯一一家卖这种音乐的店,
gross:adj.总共的;粗野的;恶劣的;显而易见的;v.总共收入;n.总额,总数; revenue:n.收益;营业额;税务署;
I also had customers come in to buy the other music. 但我也有顾客来买其它音乐。
And eventually, they started to talk to me. 久而久之,他们也开始和我交谈。
One day, a young black teen came in, and he was visibly upset . 一天,一个年轻的 黑人青年走了进来, 他看起来就很不开心。
visibly:adv.明显地;显然;看得见地; upset:adj.沮丧; v.打乱; n.苦恼; (意外的)混乱;
And I decided to ask him what was wrong. 而我决定问问他出了什么事。
And he told me that his mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer . 他告诉我他的母亲 被诊断为患有乳腺癌。
diagnosed:v.诊断(疾病);判断(问题的原因);(diagnose的过去分词和过去式) cancer:n.癌症;恶性肿瘤;
And suddenly, this young black teenager, who I'd never had a meaningful conversation or interaction with, 忽然间,这个黑人青年, 一个我之前从来没有过 任何有意义的交谈或互动的人,
meaningful:adj.严肃的;重要的;重大的;意味深长的; interaction:n.[计]交互,相互作用;相互交流;干扰;
I was able to connect with, because my own mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer, and I could feel his pain. 和我产生了联系, 因为我自己的母亲 也被诊断患有乳腺癌, 而我能感受到他的痛苦。
On another occasion, a gay couple came in with their son, and it was undeniable to me that they loved their son in the same profound ways that I loved mine. 还有一次,一个同性恋情侣 和他们的儿子走了进来, 而我无法否认他们爱着自己的儿子, 就像我深深地爱着我儿子一样。
undeniable:adj.不可否认的;公认优秀的;无可争辩的; profound:adj.深厚的;意义深远的;渊博的;
And suddenly, I couldn't rationalize or justify the prejudice that I had in my head. 突然间,我无法再解释或合理化 之前脑海中的偏见。
rationalize:vt.使…合理化;使…有理化;为…找借口;vi.实行合理化;作辩解;合理地思考; justify:v.证明合法;整理版面;替…辩护; prejudice:n.偏见;侵害;vt.损害;使有偏见;
I decided to pull the white-power music from the inventory when I became too embarrassed to sell it in front of my new friends. 我决定把白人至上的音乐从库存抽走, 因为我觉得在新朋友面前 卖这些音乐太惭愧了。
inventory:n.存货,存货清单;详细目录;财产清册; embarrassed:adj.尴尬的;窘迫的;v.使...局促不安;(embarrass的过去分词和过去式)
And of course, the store couldn't sustain itself, so I had to close it. 当然,我的店无法经营下去, 所以我把它关了。
sustain:v.支持;支撑;遭受;证实;
At that same time, I lost nearly everything in my life. 同时,我失去了 生命中几乎所有的东西。
I used it as an opportunity to walk away from the movement that I'd been a part of for eight years, the only identity, community and purpose that I'd really known for most of my life. 我把它用作一个机会 来离开我曾参与了 8 年的运动: 我大半生唯一知道的 身分、集体、和目的。
So I had nobody. 我没有任何人。
I lost my livelihood because I closed the store. 我丢掉了生计,因为把店关了。
livelihood:n.生计,生活;营生;
I didn't have a great relationship with my parents, even though they tried. 我和父母的关系并不好, 虽然他们有过尝试。
And my wife and children left me, because I hadn't left the movement and disengaged quickly enough. 我的妻子和孩子离开了我, 因为我并没有及早离开运动。
disengaged:adj.空闲的;自由的;已脱离的;v.脱离(disengage的过去分词);
And suddenly, 突然,
I didn't know who I was again, or where I fit in or what my purpose was supposed to be. 我再一次不知道我是谁, 我归属于哪里, 或者我的目的应该是什么。
supposed:adj.误信的;所谓的;v.认为;假设;设想;(suppose的过去分词和过去式)
I was miserable inside, and I often woke up in the morning wishing that I hadn't. 我的内心很痛苦, 每天早上醒来时, 我常常希望我没有醒来。
miserable:adj.悲惨的;痛苦的;卑鄙的;
About five years in, one of the few friends that I had was concerned about my well-being , and she came to me and she said, "You need to do something, because I don't want to see you die." 大概五年后, 我少数几个朋友之一 很担忧我的身心健康, 所以她找到了我,然后说: “你必须做点什么, 因为我不想看你死去。”
concerned:adj.有关的;关心的;v.关心;与…有关;(concern的过去时和过去分词) well-being:n.幸福;康乐;
And she suggested that I go apply for a job where she worked, at a company called IBM. 她建议我去她工作的地方 申请一个职位, 一个叫 IBM 的公司。
apply:v.申请;涂,敷;应用;适用;请求;
Yeah, I thought she was crazy, too. 是啊,我也以为她疯了。
(Laughter) （笑）
Here I was, a closeted ex-Nazi covered in hate tattoos . 看看我,一个私底下 满身都是关于仇恨的刺青的前纳粹。
closeted:adj.私下密谈的;v.私下密谈(closet的过去式和过去分词); tattoos:n.文身; v.给…文身; (tattoo的第三人称单数和复数)
I didn't go to college. 我没上过大学。
I'd been kicked out of multiple high schools multiple times. 我曾被不止一所高中 开除过不止一次。
multiple:adj.数量多的;多种多样的;n.倍数;
I didn't even own a computer. 我甚至都没有电脑。
But I went in, and somehow , miraculously , I got the job. 但我走了进去, 不知道这样,奇迹般地, 我得到了一份工作。
somehow:adv.以某种方法;莫名其妙地; miraculously:adv.奇迹般地;神奇地;非凡地;出乎意料地;
I was thrilled . 我非常激动。
thrilled:adj.非常兴奋; v.使非常兴奋; (thrill的过去分词和过去式)
And then I became terrified to learn that they'd actually be putting me back at my old high school, the same one I got kicked out of twice, to install their computers. 接着,我知道了一件让我惶恐的事: 他们安排我到 我原来的高中, 就是那个把我开除了两次的高中, 去安装他们的电脑。
install:v.安装;设置;安置;建立(程序);
This was a high school where I had committed acts of violence against students, against faculty; where I had protested out in front of the school for equal rights for whites and even had a sit-in in the cafeteria to try and demand a white student union. 在这所高中,我曾犯下暴力行为 对学生,对老师; 我曾在学校的门口抗议 来争取白人平权, 我甚至在食堂静坐抗议 来试图取得一个白人学生会。
protested:v.(公开)反对;抗议;坚决地表示;申辩;(protest的过去分词和过去式) sit-in:n.静坐抗议;静坐罢工;
And of course, as karma would have it, within the first couple of hours, who walks right by me but Mr. Johnny Holmes, the tough black security guard I had gotten in a fistfight with, that got me kicked out the second time and led out in handcuffs from the school. 不出所料,按着命运的因果报应, 就在我进学校的前几个小时, 走过我身边的 是Johnny Holmes先生, 我曾经打过架的强悍黑人保安。 这事导致我第二次被开除, 我还戴着手铐离开了学校。
karma:n.因果报应,因缘; security guard:保安人员; fistfight:n.互殴; handcuffs:n.手铐;v.用手铐铐住(某人);(handcuff的第三人称单数和复数)
He didn't recognize me, but I saw him, and I didn't know what to do. 他没有认出来我, 但是我看见了他, 而我不知道该做什么。
recognize:v.认识;认出;辨别出;承认;意识到;
I was frozen; I was this grown man now, years out of the movement, and I was sweating and I was trembling . 我僵在了那里;我是一个成年人的, 离开了运动很多年了, 而我当时满身是汗,全身发抖。
trembling:v.颤抖;极担心;焦虑;恐惧;(tremble的现在分词)
But I decided I had to do something. 但我决定必须做点什么。
And I decided I needed to suffer under the weight of my past, because for five years I had tried to outrun it. 我决定我需要背负过去的重量, 为它遭受痛苦, 因为五年来我一直试图避开它。
outrun:v.超过;跑得比…快;从…逃脱;
I'd tried to make new friends and cover my tattoos with long sleeves , and I wouldn't admit it because I was afraid of being judged the same way I had judged other people. 我曾尝试交新的朋友, 用长袖衣服遮住我的刺青, 而我不敢承认, 因为我害怕被评判, 就像我当初评判他人一样。
sleeves:n.[服装]袖子; v.给…装袖子; (sleeve的单三形式)
Well, I decided I was going to chase Mr. Holmes out to the parking lot -- probably not the smartest decision that I made. 于是,我决定去追霍姆斯先生 一直到停车场－－ 大概不是我做过的最聪明的决定。
parking lot:n.停车场;
(Laughter) （笑）
But when I found him, he was getting into his car, and I tapped him on the shoulder. 当我找到他的时候, 他正要上车, 于是我拍了下他的肩膀。
And when he turned around and he recognized me, he took a step back because he was afraid. 当他转过身来并认出我时, 他因为恐惧往后退了一步。
recognized:v.认识;认出;辨别出;承认;意识到;(recognize的过去分词和过去式)
And I didn't know what to say. 而我不知道该说什么。
Finally , the words came out of my mouth, and all I could think to say was, "I'm sorry." 终于,字句从我的嘴中脱出, 而所有我能想说的是: “我很抱歉。”
Finally:adv.终于;最终;(用于列举)最后;彻底地;
And he embraced me, and he forgave me. 然后他拥抱了我, 并原谅了我。
embraced:v.拥抱;欣然接受,乐意采纳;信奉;包含;(embrace的过去分词和过去式)
And he encouraged me to forgive myself. 他还鼓励我原谅自己。
forgive:v.原谅;免除(债务,义务等);
He recognized that it wasn't the story of some broken go-nowhere kid who was going to just join a gang and go to prison. 他看出了这不只是一个破碎的、 一无所成的孩子的故事, 一个只会加入黑帮、蹲监狱的人。
gang:n.一群; v.(英)去;
He knew that this was the story of every young person who was vulnerable, who was searching for identity, community and purpose, and then hit a wall and was unable to find it and went down a dark path. 他知道这是每一个 容易受伤的年轻人的故事, 他们在寻找自己的 身分、集体、和目标, 碰壁了, 找不回来了, 然后走上了黑暗的道路。
young person:n.(14至17岁的)青少年;
And he made me promise one thing, that I would tell my story to whoever would listen. 他让我承诺了一件事: 我要把我的故事 讲给任何一个想听的人。
whoever:任何人:无论是谁:
That was 18 years ago, and I've been doing it ever since. 这是 18 年前, 从那时起我就一直在做。
(Applause) （掌声）
You might be asking yourself right now: 你现在可能会问自己:
How does a good kid from a hardworking immigrant family end up going down such a dark path? 一个从勤劳工作的 移民家庭来的好孩子 是怎么走下了这么一条黑暗的道路？
One word: potholes . 一个词:凹洞。
potholes:n.凹坑;坑槽;洞坑(pothole的复数形式);
That's right. Potholes. 没错,凹洞。
I had a lot of potholes when I was kid. 我小时候有着很多凹洞。
We all had them -- you know, the things in life that we hit that invariably just kind of nudge us off our path, and if they remain unresolved or untreated or not dealt with, sometimes we can get dangerously lost down pretty dark corridors . 我们都曾有过－－ 你知道的,我们人生中撞到的东西 无可避免的把我们 轻轻推离自己的道路, 而如果它们一直没被解决, 没被治愈, 没被处理, 我们有时会危险地 走丢到黑暗的角落。
invariably:adv.总是;不变地;一定地; nudge:n.推动; vt.推进; vi.轻推; unresolved:adj.未解决的;无决断力的;不果断的; untreated:adj.未经处理的;未经治疗的; dangerously:adv.危险地;不安全; corridors:n.廊道,[建]走廊(corridor的复数形式);
Potholes can be things like trauma , abuse , unemployment , neglect, untreated mental health conditions, even privilege . 凹洞可以是创伤、 虐待、失业、 忽视、 没被治疗的心理疾病、 甚至特权。
trauma:n.[外科]创伤(由心理创伤造成精神上的异常);外伤; abuse:n.滥用;虐待;辱骂;弊端;恶习,陋习;v.滥用;虐待;辱骂; unemployment:n.失业;失业率;失业人数; mental:adj.精神的;脑力的;疯的;n.精神病患者; privilege:n.特权;优待;v.给与…特权;特免;
And if we hit enough potholes on our journey in life, and we don't have the resources or the help to navigate around them or to pull us out, well, sometimes good people end up doing bad things. 而如果我们在人生的旅途上 碰到了很多凹洞, 并且没有资源或者协助 来帮我们绕开它们 或把我们拉出来, 有的时候好人也会做出坏事。
resources:n.[计][环境]资源; v.向…提供资金(resource的第三人称单数); navigate:vt.驾驶,操纵;使通过;航行于;vi.航行,航空;
One such person who had potholes is Darrell . 其中一个有凹洞的人是Darrell。
Darrell:n.[男名]男子名;
Darrell is from upstate New York. 达雷尔来自纽约州北部。
upstate:adj.北部的;偏僻的;n.州的北部;adv.在州的北部;在州内远离大城市地区;
He had read my memoir , and he was really upset about the ending. 他读过我的回忆录, 对结局感到非常失望。
memoir:n.回忆录;研究报告;自传;实录;
You see, I'd gotten out of the movement and he was still in. 你看,我已经离开了运动, 而他还在其中。
And he emailed me and he said, "I didn't really like the way that turned out." 于是他发了封电子邮件给我,说: “我不是很喜欢最后结局的发展。”
And I said, "Well, I'm sorry." 然后我说,“喔,我很抱歉。”
(Laughter) （笑）
'"But if you want to talk about it, we could certainly do that." “但是如果你想聊聊, 我们当然可以。”
And after a couple of weeks of going back and forth with Darrell, 和Darrell来往回信的几周中,
back and forth:前后移动的,来回的,反复的;
I learned he was a 31-year-old military veteran who had been injured and was really angry about not being able to go to Afghanistan to kill Muslims. 我了解到他是一个 31 岁的 因伤退役的军人, 他很气愤自己不能 去阿富汗杀穆斯林。
military:adj.军事的;军人的;适于战争的;n.军队;军人; veteran:n.老兵; adj.(尤指军事方面)老练的; injured:adj.受伤的:委屈的: v.伤害,使受伤: n.伤员; Afghanistan:n.阿富汗(国家名称,位于亚洲);
And one day on the phone, he told me that he had seen a Muslim man in the park praying, and that all he wanted to do was kick him in the face. 一天,在电话上, 他告诉我他看到了 一个穆斯林男子在公园祈祷, 而他唯一想做的 是一脚踢到他的脸上。
I flew to Buffalo the next day, and I sat down with Darrell, and I asked him, "Have you ever met a Muslim person before?" 第二天,我飞到了水牛城, 和Darrell坐下来谈, 然后我问他: “你曾认识过任何一个穆斯林吗？”
Buffalo:n.[畜牧][脊椎]水牛;[脊椎]野牛(产于北美);水陆两用坦克;
And he said, "No! 他说,“没有！
Why the hell would I want to do that? 我为什么见鬼了要这么做？
They're evil . I don't want anything to do with them." 他们是邪恶的。 我不想和他们扯上任何关系。”
evil:adj.邪恶的;不幸的;有害的;讨厌的;n.罪恶,邪恶;不幸;
I said, "OK." 我说,“ 好吧。”
So I excused myself, and I went into the bathroom and I took my phone out in the bathroom, and I Googled the local mosque , and I called them very quietly from the bathroom, and I said, "Excuse me, imam , I need a favor. 于是我走进了洗手间, 拿出了我的手机, 谷歌搜索了当地的清真寺, 然后我在从洗手间 很小声地打电话给他们, 我说:“不好意思, 伊玛目 ［领袖］,我需要帮忙。
Googled:vt.在谷歌上搜索;(google的过去式和过去分词) mosque:n.清真寺; imam:n.伊玛目;(伊斯兰的)阿訇;
I have a Christian man who would really love to learn more about your religion." 我这有一个基督教徒 非常想了解你们的宗教。”
(Laughter) （笑）
'" Do you mind if we stop by?" “你会介意我们去拜访吗？”
Do you mind:你介意吗？;
Well, it took some convincing for Darrell to go, but finally we got there, and when I knocked on the door, the imam said he only had 15 minutes left for us, because he was preparing for a prayer service. 我花了不少功夫来说服Darrell, 不过最终我们到了那里。 我敲了敲门, 伊玛目说他只有 15 分钟留给我们, 因为他需要准备祷告。
convincing:adj.令人信服的; v.使确信; (convince的现在分词)
I said, "We'll take it." 我说,“ 没问题。”
We went in, and two and a half hours later, we came out after hugging and crying and, very strangely , bonding over Chuck Norris for some reason. 我们走了进去, 两个半小时后, 我们已经历了泪水和拥抱, 很奇怪的,我们还因为查克·诺里斯 拉近了距离。［动作片演员］
strangely:adv.奇怪地;奇妙地;不可思议地; Chuck:n.卡盘;夹头;辞退;(牛等的)颈肉;v.放弃;[机]用卡盘夹紧;(口语)抛出,逐出;
(Laughter)
I don't know what it was about that, but that's what happened. 我不知道那是怎么回事, 但它就是发生了。
And I'm happy to say now that Darrell and the imam, you can often find them at the local falafel stand, having lunch together. 现在我可以很开心的说, 你经常能看到 达雷尔和伊玛目在当地的 中东小吃摊一起吃午饭。
falafel:n.沙拉三明治(等于felafel);
(Applause) （掌声）
You see, it's our disconnection from each other. 你可以看出, 问题是人们缺乏联系。
disconnection:n.[电]断开;分离,切断;
Hatred is born of ignorance . 仇恨来源于无知。
ignorance:n.无知,愚昧;不知,不懂;
Fear is its father, and isolation is its mother. 恐惧是其父,孤立是其母。
When we don't understand something, we tend to be afraid of it, and if we keep ourselves from it, that fear grows, and sometimes, it turns into hatred. 当我们不理解一个东西时, 我们常常会害怕它, 而如果我们让自己远离它, 这恐惧会加大,有时会变成仇恨。
Since I've left the movement, I've helped over a hundred people disengage from extremist movements, from white supremacist groups -- 自从离开运动,我已经 帮助了超过一百个人 脱离极端主义运动, 白人至上群体－－
extremist:n.极端主义者,过激分子;
(Applause) （掌声）
to even jihadist groups. 甚至是伊斯兰圣战主义者。
jihadist:n.圣战主义者;
And the way I do that is not by arguing with them, not by debating them, not by even telling them they're wrong, even though, boy, I want to sometimes. 我的做法并不是和他们争吵, 不是和他们辩论, 甚至不是跟他们说 他们哪里错了, 尽管有时,天哪,我真的很想。
debating:v.讨论,辩论;仔细考虑;思考;盘算;(debate的现在分词)
I don't do that. 但我不这么做。
Instead, I don't push them away. 相反,我不会把他们推开,
I draw them in closer, and I listen very closely for their potholes, and then I begin to fill them in. 而是把他们拉近, 认真倾听他们的凹洞, 然后开始把他们填满。
I try to make people more resilient , more self-confident , more able to have skills to compete in the marketplace so that they don't have to blame the other, the other that they've never met. 我试着让人们变得更有韧性, 更自信, 更有能力学习技能以在市场竞争, 这样他们就不必责怪其他人, 他们自己从来没见过的其他人。
resilient:adj.弹回的,有弹力的; self-confident:adj.自信的; compete:v.竞争;对抗;参加比赛(或竞赛); marketplace:n.市场;集市;
I'd like to just leave you with one last thing before I go. 在我走之前, 我想再留下最后一个想法。
Of all the people I've worked with, they will all tell you the same thing. 所有我曾经帮助过的人 都会告诉你同样的东西。
One, they became extremists because they wanted to belong, not because of ideology or dogma . 第一,他们成为极端主义者的原因 是因为他们想有所归属, 而不是因为什么理论或教义。
extremists:n.极端主义者;极端分子;过激分子;(extremist的复数) ideology:n.意识形态;思想意识;观念学; dogma:n.教条,教理;武断的意见;
And second, what brought them out was receiving compassion from the people they least deserved it from, when they least deserved it. 第二,把他们带出困境的 是得到同情, 从最不该同情他们的人, 在他们最不配同情的时候。
compassion:n.同情;怜悯; deserved:adj.值得的;该奖[罚]的;v.值得;应得;应受;(deserve的过去分词和过去式)
(Applause) （掌声）
So I would like to leave you with a challenge: go out there today, tomorrow -- hopefully every day -- find somebody that you think is undeserving of your compassion and give it to them, because I guarantee you, they're the ones who need it the most. 所以我想留给各位一个挑战: 走出去, 今天、明天、最好每天 找到一个你认为不值得你同情的人 然后给他们同情。 因为我保证, 他们是最需要你的同情心的人。
undeserving:adj.不值得…的;不配受到的; guarantee:n.保证;担保;保证人;保证书;抵押品;v.保证;担保;
Thank you very much. 谢谢！
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