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BillBernat_2017X-_如何和忧郁症的朋友相处交流_
The one conversation that uplifted me more than any other in my life was with a woman who told me how, a few days earlier, she drove her Jeep Wrangler to the edge of the Grand Canyon and sat there, revving the engine, thinking about driving over. 人生中最讓我振奮的一段對話, 是一個女人告訴我, 幾天前,她如何 開著她的吉普車到大峽谷的邊緣, 坐在那裡,加快引擎的轉速, 想著開車衝下去。
uplifted:adj.上升的;举起的;v.提高;抬起(uplift的过去分词形式); Wrangler:n.争论者;口角者;牧人; Canyon:n.(周围有悬崖峭壁的)峡谷;( revving:n.发动机的旋转;vt.使加速;增加;vi.加快转速;增长;
Even though I had severe social anxiety , in that conversation, I was totally at ease. 雖然我有過嚴重的社交焦慮症, 在那段對談中,我非常安然自在。
severe:adj.极为恶劣的;十分严重的;严厉的;苛刻的; anxiety:n.焦虑;渴望;挂念;令人焦虑的事;
(Laughter) （笑聲）
She told me what was going on in her life in the days and months leading up, what her thoughts were at that exact moment, why she wanted to die, and why she didn't do it. 她告訴我,她開車中去大峽谷之前, 那幾個月經歷了什麼事、 那一瞬間她的想法是什麼、 為什麼她想尋死, 以及她為何沒有衝下去。
We nodded and half-smiled, and then it was my turn to talk about my journey to a dining table in the hygienic community area of the mental health wing of a mountain-town hospital. 我們點頭微笑著, 接著就換我講述我的經歷了, 那是在山城醫院的心理衛生部門, 一張公共衛生區的餐桌上。
journey:n.旅行;行程;vi.旅行; dining table:餐桌; hygienic:adj.卫生的,保健的;卫生学的; community:n.社区;[生态]群落;共同体;团体; mental:adj.精神的;脑力的;疯的;n.精神病患者;
I took too many sleeping pills , and after they treated me for that, they were like, "Hey, we would love it if you would be our guest in the psych ward ." 我吃了太多的安眠藥, 院方幫我治療之後, 他們說:「嘿,我們 很希望你能夠來我們的 精神病房做客。」
pills:n.药丸; v.起球; (pill的第三人称单数和复数) treated:v.以…态度对待;把…看作;(treat的过去分词和过去式) psych:v.用精神分析治疗;使作好心理准备; ward:n.病房; v.防止;
(Laughter) （笑聲）
We joked that her suicide would have made a way better postcard . 我們開玩笑說她自殺的照片 可以做成相當不錯的明信片。
suicide:n.自杀;自杀行为;自杀者;adj.自杀的;v.自杀;vi.自杀; postcard:n.明信片;
(Laughter) （笑聲）
We talked shop. 我們談論本行。
(Laughter) （笑聲）
She allowed me to be deeply depressed and have a genuine connection to another person, simultaneously . 她容許我有深刻的憂鬱, 同時還能和另一個人有真誠的連結。
depressed:adj.沮丧的; v.使抑郁; (depress的过去式和过去分词) genuine:adj.真实的,真正的;诚恳的; simultaneously:adv.同时地;
For the first time, 這是第一次,
I identified as somebody living with depression , and I felt good about it -- like I was wasn't a bad person for it. 身為帶著憂鬱症過日子的人, 我卻感覺很好 ── 彷彿我並不會因為它而變成壞人。
identified:v.确认;认出;找到;发现;说明身份;(identify的过去式和过去分词) depression:n.沮丧;洼地;不景气;忧愁;
Now imagine one of the people at that table was a member of your family or a close friend. 想像一下,同桌的 其中一個人是你的家人, 或是親密的朋友。
Would you be comfortable talking to them? 你跟他們說話時會自在嗎？
What if instead of the hospital, they were at your kitchen table and told you they were really depressed? 如果不是在醫院, 他們是坐在你的廚房餐桌, 告訴你他們真的很憂鬱呢？
What if:如果…怎么办?
The World Health Organization says that depression is the leading cause of ill health and disability worldwide , affecting 350 million people. 世界衛生組織說, 有三億五千萬人深受其害。
Organization:n.组织;机构;体制;团体; ill health:n.(身心)健康状况差;生病; disability:n.残疾;无能;无资格;不利条件; worldwide:adj.全世界的;adv.在世界各地;
The National Institute of Mental Health reports seven percent of Americans experiencing depression in a year. 美國國家心理衛生研究院 指出在一年中有 7% 的 美國人經歷過憂鬱症。
Institute:v.开始(调查);制定;创立;提起(诉讼);n.学会,协会;学院;
So depression is super common, yet in my experience, most folks don't want to talk to depressed people unless we pretend to be happy. 所以,憂鬱症是非常普遍的, 但依我的經驗, 大部分的人並不想和憂鬱的人說話, 除非我們假裝自己很快樂。
A cheerful facade is appropriate for casual interactions . 平常與人互動時, 做出愉快的表相才適當。
cheerful:adj.快乐的;愉快的;高兴的; facade:n.正面;表面;外观; appropriate:adj.适当的;恰当的;v.占用,拨出; interactions:n.[计]交互,相互作用;相互交流;干扰;(interaction复数)
A depressed person can ask for extra syrup in their pumpkin spice latte without explaining that they need it because they're trapped in the infinite darkness of their soul and they've lost all hope of escape -- 憂鬱的人可以要求在他們的 南瓜香料拿鐵中加入額外的糖漿, 且不用解釋為何他們需要它, 因為他們被困在 自己靈魂的無盡黑暗中, 且失去了所有逃脫的希望－
extra:adj.额外的:n.额外的事物:adv.额外:另外: syrup:n.糖浆,果汁;含药糖浆; pumpkin:n.南瓜;(口)夜郎自大的蠢货;(俚)重要人物; spice:v.在…中加香料; n.(调味)香料; latte:n.热牛奶咖啡,拿铁咖啡; trapped:adj.受困的;受限制的;v.使落入险境;使陷入困境;(trap的过去分词和过去式) infinite:adj.无限的,无穷的; n.无限;
(Laughter) （笑聲）
again. 再一次地。
(Laughter) （笑聲）
Depression doesn't diminish a person's desire to connect with other people, just their ability. 憂鬱並不會減少一個人 與他人交流的渴望, 只是影響到交際能力而已。
diminish:vt.使减少;使变小;vi.减少,缩小;变小;
So in spite of what you might think, talking to friends and family living with depression can be really easy and maybe even fun. 事實跟你想的其實不太一樣, 和患有憂鬱症的朋友及家人說話 可以是很容易、甚至是很有趣的。
in spite of:尽管;不管,不顾;
Not, like, Facebook-selfie-with-Lady-Gaga- at-an-underground-party fun -- 並不是像「在臉書上貼與女神卡卡 在地下派對中的自拍」那種有趣──
I'm talking about the kind of fun where people enjoy each other's company effortlessly . 我在談的有趣, 是人們毫不費力地享受彼此的倍伴。
effortlessly:adv.轻松地;毫不费劲地;
Nobody feels awkward , and no one accuses the sad person of ruining the holidays. 沒有人覺得尷尬, 沒有人會指控悲傷的 那個人把假日給毀了。
awkward:adj.尴尬的;笨拙的;棘手的;不合适的; accuses:v.控告;控诉;谴责;(accuse的第三人称单数) ruining:v.毁坏;破坏;毁灭;(ruin的现在分词)
Why does this chasm even exist? 但為什麼這種隔閡會存在？
chasm:n.峡谷;裂口;分歧;深坑;
On the one side, you have people living with depression who may act in off-putting or confusing ways because they're fighting a war in their head that nobody else can see. 在一邊, 是有憂鬱症的人, 他們行事的方式可能會 令人厭惡或讓人困惑, 因為他們腦袋中正在打一場仗, 這是別人都看不見的。
off-putting:adj.令人不愉快的;老是推托的; confusing:adj.令人困惑; v.使糊涂; (confuse的现在分词)
On the other side , the vast majority of people look across the chasm and shake their heads, like, "Why you gotta be so depressed?" 另一邊, 是絕大部分的人望著隔閡的另一頭, 一邊搖頭, 說:「你們幹嘛這麼憂鬱？」
On the other side:另一面;在另一边; majority:n.大部分:大多数:多数票:成年人:
You may recognize a divide like this in your life. 在你們生活中可能會看見這種隔閡。
recognize:v.认识;认出;辨别出;承认;意识到;
Do you want to build a bridge across it? 你們想要架座橋來跨越它嗎？
You may not want to build a bridge -- and that's a totally valid choice. 你們可能不會想架座橋── 那是個百分百合理的選擇。
valid:adj.有效的;有根据的;合法的;正当的;
Or maybe you'd like to build a stronger connection, but you have a lot of questions and concerns . 或者你想要建立比較強的連結交流, 但你有很多的疑問和擔心的事。
concerns:n.关注; v.使关心(concern的三单形式);
You're what I might call "bridge curious ." 這種人被我稱為是「好奇的橋」。
curious:adj.好奇的,有求知欲的;古怪的;爱挑剔的;
(Laughter) （笑聲）
Here are some possible reasons why some of you may avoid depressed people. 以下是一些可能的原因, 說明為什麼你們有些人 會想要避開憂鬱症的人。
You might be afraid that if you talk to somebody while they're depressed, you're suddenly responsible for their well-being . 你可能會害怕 如果你去跟一個憂鬱症患者說話, 突然間你就要為他們的幸福負責了。
responsible:adj.负责的,可靠的;有责任的; well-being:n.幸福;康乐;
You're not expected to be Dr. Phil. 並沒有人期待你成為 心理治療大師費爾醫生。
Just be friendly -- more like Ellen. 你只要表現出友善態度就好, 像脫口秀主持人艾倫那樣就可以。
(Laughter) （笑聲）
You may worry that you won't know what to say, and every attempt at conversation will be awkward, and the only time you'll feel comfortable is when you both just give up on talking and stare at your phones. 你可能會擔心不知道要說什麼, 每一次嘗試交談都會很尷尬, 而只有一種時候你會覺得舒適, 就是你們雙方都放棄交談, 盯著各自的手機看時。
attempt:n.企图,试图;攻击;v.企图,试图;尝试; stare:v.凝视;盯着看;注视;n.凝视;
Words are not the most important thing to focus on. 交談並非互動中最重要的東西。
You might fear seeing your shadow. 你可能會害怕看見自己的影子。
Hey, if you have been successfully outrunning your personal emotional demons , that's awesome . 嘿,如果你曾經成功地 從自己的情緒惡魔手中逃脫過, 那很棒。
outrunning:vt.超过;跑得比…快;从…逃脱; personal:adj.个人的;身体的;亲自的;n.人事消息栏;人称代名词; emotional:adj.情绪的;易激动的;感动人的; demons:n.恶魔;魔鬼;心魔;邪念;(demon的复数) awesome:adj.令人敬畏的;使人畏惧的;可怕的;极好的;
May the wind be at your back. 願你永遠一帆風順。
(Laughter) （笑聲）
You can be the least woo-woo person in the world and still connect with depressed people. （笑聲） 仍可以和有憂鬱症的人連結交流。
Maybe you've heard that depression is contagious , and you're afraid of catching it. 也許你聽過憂鬱會傳染, 而你害怕會感染到。
contagious:adj.感染性的;会蔓延的;
Bring some hand sanitizer . 那就帶一些乾洗手液。
sanitizer:n.食品防腐剂;消毒杀菌剂(等于sanitiser);
(Laughter) （笑聲）
You're much more likely to catch the joy of human bonding. 你較有可能感染到的 會是人際交流的喜悅。
Maybe you see depressed people differently. 也許你對憂鬱症的人有不同看法。
You think of them as flawed or defective . 你認為他們有瑕疵或缺陷。
flawed:adj.有缺陷的;有瑕疵的;有裂纹的; defective:adj.有缺陷的;不完美的;n.有缺陷的人;不完全变化词;
Multiple university studies have shown that A students are more likely to have bipolar condition. 數篇大學研究指出, 成績優秀的學生較可能有躁鬱症狀。
Multiple:adj.数量多的;多种多样的;n.倍数; bipolar:adj.有两极的,双极的;
Our brains aren't broken or damaged, they just work differently. 我們的大腦並沒有壞掉或受損, 只是運作方式不同。
I spent a lot of years thinking happy people just don't get it. 我一直覺得那些樂天的人就是搞不懂。
(Laughter) （笑聲）
I did eventually stop discriminating against happy people -- 我最後停止了歧視快樂的人──
eventually:adv.最后,终于; discriminating:adj.有识别力的; v.区别;
(Laughter) （笑聲）
I began battling depression when I was eight, and decades later, to my surprise, 我從八歲時就開始對抗憂鬱症, 數十年後,讓我很訝異的是,
I started winning. 我開始佔上風了。
I shifted from being miserable much of the time to enjoying life. 我從經常沉溺在憂傷的情緒中, 到變成能享受人生。
shifted:转移;移动(shift的过去式和过去分词); miserable:adj.悲惨的;痛苦的;卑鄙的;
I live pretty well with my bipolar condition, and I've overcome some other mental health conditions like overeating , addiction and social anxiety. 我和我的躁鬱症狀和平相處, 我還克服了一些其他心理健康症狀, 比如暴飲暴食、成癮症, 以及社交焦慮症。
overcome:vt.克服;胜过;vi.克服;得胜; overeating:v.吃得过多;过度饱食(overeat的ing形式); addiction:n.瘾;嗜好;入迷;
So I live on both sides of this chasm. 所以我活在這隔閡的兩邊。
And I'm offering some guidance based on my experience to help you build a bridge across it if you want to. 我想提供一些指南, 它們是以我的經驗為基礎, 能協助你們搭橋跨越這隔閡, 如果你們想要的話。
It's not hard science, but I worked with a lot people I know who've lived with depression to refine these suggestions. 這不是硬科學, 我和許多患有憂鬱症的人通力合作, 琢磨出這些建議給大家。
refine:v.精炼;改进;改善;提纯;
First up, some things you might want to avoid -- some "don'ts." 首先,你會想要避免這些東西── 一些「不該做的事」。
One of the most off-putting things you can say is, "Just get over it." 最討人厭的一句話就是: 「就克服它吧。」
Great idea -- love it, it's just we already thought of that. 好主意──我喜歡, 只是我們早就想過這方法了。
(Laughter) （笑聲）
The absence of the ability to just get over it is depression. 所謂的憂鬱症, 就是缺乏克服它的能力。
absence:n.没有;缺乏;缺席;不注意;
(Laughter) （笑聲）
(Applause) （掌聲）
We feel it in our bodies -- it's a physical thing for us. 我們能感覺到憂鬱就在我們的體內── 它對我們來說是實體的。
physical:adj.[物]物理的;身体的;物质的;符合自然法则的;n.体格检查;
And medically it's no different from telling someone with a broken ankle or cancer , "just get over it." 在醫學上,這就類似是 告訴一個腳踝斷裂或得癌症的人: 「就克服它吧。」
medically:adv.医学上地;医药上地; cancer:n.癌症;恶性肿瘤;
Don't be hell-bent on fixing us. 不要固執地想要把我們治好。
hell-bent:adj.拼命的;固执的;
Like, thank you, but ... 我是指,謝謝你,但......
the pressure can make us depressed people feel like we're disappointing you. 這種壓力會讓我們這些憂鬱症的人 覺得我們好像讓你失望了。
disappointing:adj.令人失望的;v.使失望;使破灭;使落空(disappoint的现在分词)
Also, things that make some people feel better may not work for us. 而且,能讓某些人提振情緒的事物, 對我們可能沒有用。
You can't cure clinical depression by getting ice cream ... 你無法用冰淇淋來治癒臨床憂鬱症…
clinical:adj.临床的;诊所的;
which is unfortunate, because that would be living the dream. 很可惜,不然對我們而言 那會是美夢成真。
(Laughter) （笑聲）
Don't take a negative response personally . 別人有負面反應的話, 不要覺得是在針對你。
negative:adj.[数]负的;消极的;否定的;阴性的;n.否定;负数;[摄]底片;v.否定;拒绝; response:n.响应;反应;回答; personally:adv.个人;亲自;本人;就本人而言;
So, I have a friend who, about a year ago, messaged me that he was really isolated and depressed. 我有個朋友,大約一年前, 傳訊息給我說他覺得被孤立、很憂鬱。
isolated:adj.偏远的; v.隔离,孤立,脱离;
And I suggested some things for him to do, and he was like, "No, no and no." 我建議了一些他可以做的事, 他的反應是:「不,不,不。」
And I got mad, like, how dare he not embrace my brilliant wisdom ? 我生氣了, 心想,他算老幾,怎麼可以 不接受我聰慧的建議呢？
embrace:n.拥抱,怀抱;v.拥抱;乐意采纳(思想、建议等);信奉;包括; wisdom:n.智慧;明智;才智;学问;
(Laughter) （笑聲）
And then I remembered times I've been depressed, and how I thought I was doomed in all possible futures, or everybody suddenly hated me, and things like that. 接著我想起自己憂鬱的時候, 那時我認為未來注定只有厄運, 或是每個人都會突然討厭我之類的。
doomed:adj.注定的;命定的;v.使…注定失败(doom的过去分词和过去式)
It didn't matter how many people told me otherwise -- 不論多少人告訴我:?不會這樣的?,
I didn't believe them. 我就是不相信他們。
So I let my friend know I cared, and I didn't take it personally. 所以,我讓我的朋友知道我在乎他, 我不會把他的負面反應放在心上。
Don't let a lack of bubbly happiness freak you out. 不要因為沒有夢幻的幸福, 就被嚇壞了。
bubbly:adj.起泡的;多泡的;n.香槟酒; freak:n.怪人,怪事;畸形人;反复无常;adj.奇异的,反常的;
It's not a shark attack. 那又不是鯊魚攻擊。
'"Call the coast guard, my friend is sad!" 「快呼叫海岸巡防員, 我朋友在悲傷了！」
(Laughter) （笑聲）
We can be sad and OK at the same time . 其實傷心也沒有關係的。
at the same time:同时;另一方面;与此同时;
I'm going to say that again, because in our society, we're taught the opposite, and so it's counterintuitive . 我要再說一次, 因為在我們的社會中, 學到完全相反的概念, 所以覺得那是違背直覺的事。
counterintuitive:adj.违反直觉的;
People can be sad and OK at the same time. 但人有傷心情緒是沒有關係的。
So some of these things may apply to you personally, some may not. 以上這些有的可能適用於你, 有的不適用。
apply:v.申请;涂,敷;应用;适用;请求;
Take what's useful. 挑對你有用的。
And remember, you don't have to connect. 切記,你不用非得與人交流。
If you want to, here are some suggestions that may help -- some "dos." 如果你想要, 以下是一些建議,可能會有幫助── 一些「該做的事」。
Talk to us in your natural voice, right? 用你自然的聲音跟我們說話,好嗎？
(Laughter) （笑聲）
You don't need to put on a sad voice because we're depressed -- you don't sneeze when you're talking to somebody with a cold. 你不用因為我們很憂鬱 就用悲傷的聲音說話。 你跟感冒的人說話時, 也不會打噴嚏吧。
sneeze:vi.打喷嚏;n.喷嚏;
(Laughter) （笑聲）
It's not rude to be upbeat . 樂觀並不是無禮。
upbeat:n.兴旺;上升;弱拍;adj.乐观的;上升的;
You can be you, OK? 你可以做自己,好嗎？
If you make an offer to be there for us, clearly state what you can and can't do. 如果你願意為我們盡一份力, 那就明確說清楚你 能做什麼、不能做什麼。
I have told people, "Hey, call or text any time, but I might not be able to get back to you that same day." 我曾告訴別人: 「嘿,隨時都可打電話或傳訊息給我, 但我可能無法在當天回覆你。」
It's totally cool to not make an offer, or to make a narrow offer with really clear boundaries around it. 不提供任何協助也完全沒關係, 或提供清楚有限的協助也可以。
narrow:adj.狭窄的; v.使窄小; n.峡谷; (场所,物品等的)狭窄部分; boundaries:n.边界;分界线;(boundary的复数)
Give us a sense of control. 給我們控制感。
Like, get our consent . 比如,取得我們的同意。
consent:vi.同意;赞成;答应;n.同意;(意见等的)一致;赞成;
I have a friend who, a while back, when I was having a depressive episode , reached out and said, "Hey, I want to check in with you. 我有個朋友,前陣子, 我憂鬱症發作的時候, 她跟我說:「嘿,我想確認你沒事。
depressive:adj.抑郁的;压抑的; episode:n.一段经历;片段,插曲;一集;
Can I call you every day? 我能否每天打電話給你？
Maybe text you every day and call later in the week? 也許每天傳訊息給你, 過幾天再打電話？
What works for you?" 怎樣做你比較方便？」
By getting my permission, she earned my complete confidence and remains one of my best friends today. 因為先徵詢我的同意, 她得到了我完全的信任, 至今仍然是我最好的朋友之一。
confidence:n.信心;信任;秘密;adj.(美)诈骗的;骗得信任的;
And my last suggestion is: interact about not depression, aka, normal stuff . 我的最後一個建議是: 針對「不是憂鬱症」的東西來互動, 也就是,一般日常的東西。
stuff:n.东西:物品:基本特征:v.填满:装满:标本:
I have a friend who, when people were worried about him, they would call and ask if he wanted to go shopping or help them clean out their garage . 我有一個朋友,那時大家很擔心他, 他們會打電話問他要不要去購物, 或協助他們打掃車庫。
garage:n.车库;汽车修理厂;飞机库;v.把…送入车库;把(汽车)开进车库;
Your depressed friends could be a good source of free labor -- 你的憂鬱症朋友也能成為 很好的免費勞力來源──
source:n.来源;水源;原始资料;
(Laughter) （笑聲）
What I'm really getting at is, invite them to contribute to your life in some way, even if it's as small as asking you to go see a movie that you wanted to see in the theater. 我真正想說的是, 邀請他們跟你一起做事情, 即使是很小的事, 比如找他們去看一場 你想要去電影院看的電影。
contribute to:有助于;捐献;
So that's a lot of dos and don'ts and maybes , and it's not by any means a definitive list. 所以,那是很多的「該做」 和「不該做」和「也許」, 這份清單並不是絕對的。
maybes:adv.也许;可能;大概;n.可能性;不确定性; by any means:无论如何; definitive:n.限定词;adj.决定性的;最后的;限定的;
The thing to remember is that they're all grounded in one guiding principle . 要記得的是,
principle:n.原理,原则;主义,道义;本质,本义;根源,源泉;
It's what allowed the woman in the Jeep Wrangler to start me on the path to recovery without even trying. 就是它,讓吉普車女子 不費吹灰之力就使我踏上復原之路。
recovery:n.恢复,复原;痊愈;重获;
She talked to me like I belonged and contributed exactly as I was at that moment. 她當時對我說話的方式,
contributed:v.捐献,捐赠(尤指款或物); (contribute的过去式和过去分词)
If you talk to a depressed person as if their life is just as valuable , intense and beautiful as yours, then there's no need to build a bridge between you, because you've closed the chasm. 如果你和憂鬱症的人說話時, 能把他們的人生視為 和你的一樣有價值、熱情、美麗, 那麼你們之間根本不需要刻意搭橋, 因為你已經消除隔閡了。
valuable:adj.有价值的;贵重的;可估价的;n.贵重物品; intense:adj.强烈的;紧张的;非常的;热情的;
Focus on that instead of your words, and it may be the most uplifting conversation of their life. 專注在這一點上,而非你所說的話, 那就有可能是他們 人生中最振奮的一段談話。
uplifting:adj.令人振奋的;使人开心的;
What could that do for somebody you care about? 這會對你所關心的人 產生什麼樣的影響？
What could it do for you? 這能對你產生什麼樣的影響？
Thank you. 謝謝。
(Applause) （掌聲）