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ArikHartmann_2016X-_我们对于爱滋病毒的治疗已经进步了，为什么汙名却仍然没改变？_
So I want to start this talk by showing y'all a photo, and it's a photo many of you have probably seen before. 在這場演說的一開始, 我想讓各位看一張照片, 在座很多人可能已經看過這張照片。
So I want you all to take a moment and look at this photo, and really reflect on some of the things that come to mind, and what are some of those things, those words. 我想請各位花一點點時間, 看看這張照片, 然後好好深思出現在腦海中的東西, 那些東西、那些話語,是什麼？
reflect on:仔细考虑,思考;反省;回想,回顾;怀疑;
Now, I'm going to ask you all to look at me. 現在,我想請各位看著我。
What words come to mind when you look at me? 當你們看著我的時候, 想到的是什麼？
What separates that man up there from me? 把我和上面那個人區隔開的 是什麼？
The man in that photo is named David Kirby and it was taken in 1990 as he was dying from AIDS-related illness, and it was subsequently published in "Life Magazine." 照片中的男子名叫大衛柯比, 照片是在 1990 年拍攝的, 他因為愛滋相關的疾病病危, 後來照片在《生活》雜誌刊登出來。
subsequently:adv.随后,其后;后来;
The only real thing separating me from Kirby is about 30 years of medical advancements in the way that we treat HIV and AIDS. 真正把我和柯比 區隔開來的東西,只有一樣, 就是在治療愛滋病毒和愛滋病方面, 約三十年的醫療進步。
advancements:n.进步;进展(advancement的复数形式);升任; in the way:妨碍;挡道; treat:v.治疗;处理;招待;款待;n.款待;乐事;乐趣; HIV:n.艾滋病病毒;
So what I want to ask next is this: 所以,接著我想要問:
If we have made such exponential progress in combatting HIV, why haven't our perceptions of those with the virus evolved alongside? 如果在對抗愛滋病毒上我們 已經有這麼快速的進展, 為什麼我們對於愛滋病人的 感受沒有一併演進？
exponential:adj.指数的;n.指数; combatting:与…格斗,与…对抗(combat的现在分词形式); perceptions:n.认知;观念(perception的复数);理解; evolved:v.(使)逐渐形成;进化;进化形成;(evolve的过去分词和过去式)
Why does HIV elicit this reaction from us when it's so easily managed? 既然愛滋病病毒已能被簡單處理, 為什麼它還會引發這樣的反應？
elicit:v.抽出,引出;引起; reaction:n.反应,感应;反动,复古;反作用;
When did the stigmatization even occur , and why hasn't it subsided ? 這種汙名化是何時發生的？ 為什麼它還沒有消失？
stigmatization:n.stigmatize的变形侮辱,谴责; occur:v.发生;出现;存在于;出现在; subsided:vi.平息;减弱;沉淀;坐下;
And these are not easy questions to answer. 要回答這些問題並不容易。
They're the congealing of so many different factors and ideas. 它們都牽涉到許多 不同的因素和想法。
factors:n.因素(factor的复数); v.做代理商;
Powerful images , like this one of Kirby, these were the faces of the AIDS crisis in the '80s and '90s, and at the time the crisis had a very obvious impact on an already stigmatized group of people, and that was gay men. 強大的影像,像是柯比這張照片, 這些是在八○、九○年代 愛滋危機時的臉孔, 在那危機的時代,非常明顯 會影響到已經被汙名化的族群, 也就是同性戀族群。
images:n.印象;声誉;形象;画像;雕像;(image的第三人称单数和复数) crisis:n.危机;危险期;决定性时刻;adj.危机的;用于处理危机的; obvious:adj.明显的;显著的;平淡无奇的; impact:n.影响;效果;碰撞;冲击力;v.挤入,压紧;撞击;对…产生影响; stigmatized:adj.受非难的;被污名化的;v.污辱;指责(stigmatize的过去分词);
So what the general straight public saw was this very awful thing happening to a group of people who were already on the fringes of society. 所以,一般的異性戀大眾看到的, 是這件非常糟的事情 發生在一個已經處在 社會邊緣的族群身上。
fringes:n.额前短垂发; v.形成…的边缘; (fringe的第三人称单数和复数)
The media at the time began to use the two almost interchangeably -- gay and AIDS -- and at the 1984 Republican National Convention , one of the speakers joked that gay stood for: "Got AIDS yet?" 當時的媒體幾乎就把兩者 ──愛滋病和同性戀── 當作可互換使用的詞, 在 1984 年共和黨全國代表大會上, 一位發言人開玩笑說同性戀（GAY） 代表「Got Aids Yet（得愛滋沒）？」
media:n.媒体;媒质(medium的复数);血管中层;浊塞音;中脉; interchangeably:adv.[数]可交换地; Republican:adj.共和国的;共和政体的;共和主义的;拥护共和政体的;n.共和主义者; National Convention:n.(尤指美国政党推选总统候选人的)全国代表大会;
And that was the mindset at the time. 那就是當時的心態。
mindset:n.心态;倾向;习惯;精神状态;
But as we started to understand the virus more and how it was transmitted , we realized that that risk had increased its territory . 但隨著我們更了解這種病毒, 更了解它如何傳染, 我們發現,風險的範圍擴大了。
transmitted:v.传送;输送;发射;播送;传播;传染;(transmit的过去分词和过去式) territory:n.领土,领域;范围;地域;版图;
The highly profiled case of Ryan White in 1985, who was a 13-year-old hemophiliac who had contracted HIV from a contaminated blood treatment , and this marked the most profound shift in America's perception of HIV. 1985 年的萊恩懷特案例非常知名, 他是位十三歲的血友病患者, 因為用感染的血液治療, 讓他染上了愛滋病毒, 造成美國人對愛滋病毒的感受 產生最深刻轉變。
highly:adv.高度地;非常;非常赞许地; profiled:v.描绘…轮廓,评论人物(profile的过去式); hemophiliac:n.血友病患者;adj.血友病的; contracted:adj.契约的; v.使收缩; contaminated:v.污染;玷污,毒害(人的思想或品德);(contaminate的过去分词和过去式) treatment:n.治疗;疗法;对待;处理;讨论; profound:adj.深厚的;意义深远的;渊博的; shift:n.移动;变化;手段;轮班;v.移动;转变;转换;
No longer was it restricted to these dark corners of society, to queers and drug users, but now it was affecting people that society deemed worthy of their empathy , to children. 這病毒不只出現於社會的黑暗角落, 不只是同志和吸毒者才會得到, 它也會影響到那些 被社會視為值得同情的人, 孩子們。
restricted:adj.受限制的;保密的;v.限制(restrict的过去式和过去分词); queers:adj.奇怪的; vt.搞糟; n.同性恋者; deemed:v.认为;视为;相信;(deem的过去分词和过去式) worthy:adj.值得的; n.杰出人物; empathy:n.神入;移情作用;执着;
But that permeating fear and that perception, it still lingers . 但那具穿透力的恐懼和感受 仍然徘徊不去。
permeating:vt.渗透,透过;弥漫;vi.弥漫;透入;散布; lingers:逗留;
And I want a show of hands for these next few questions. 接下來的幾個問題, 要請各位舉手表示。
How many of you in here were aware that with treatment, those with HIV not only fend off AIDS completely, but they live full and normal lives? 在座有哪些人知道,透過治療, 得了愛滋病毒的人 不只是能完全抵禦愛滋病, 他們還能回到完整、正常的生活？
fend:vt.谋生;保护;挡开;供养;vi.照料;供养;力争;
Y'all are educated. 你們都是受過教育的。
(Laughter) （笑聲）
How many of you are aware that with treatment, those with HIV can reach an undetectable status , and that makes them virtually uninfectious? 在座有哪些人知道,透過治療, 得了愛滋病毒的人能夠 達到一種檢測不到的狀態, 且會讓他們幾乎是沒有傳染力的？
undetectable:adj.发现不了的;无法觉察的; status:n.地位;状态;情形;重要身份; virtually:adv.事实上,几乎;实质上;
Much less. 少了很多人。
How many of you were aware of the pre- and postexposure treatments that are available that reduce the risk of transmission by over 90 percent? 在座有哪些人知道, 有暴露前和暴露後治療, 可以將傳染的風險減少掉 至少 90%？
treatments:n.治疗;疗法;对待;处理;讨论;(treatment的复数) transmission:n.传输;传染;播送;发射;广播;传动装置;
See, these are incredible advancements that we have made in fighting HIV, yet they have not managed to dent the perception that most Americans have of the virus and those living with it. 看吧,我們在對抗愛滋病毒上 有這些不可思議的進步, 但這些進步卻沒能夠影響到大部份 美國人對於該病毒以及病患的感受。
incredible:adj.难以置信的,惊人的; dent:n.凹痕;[名]登特;v.使…凹陷;破坏;
And I don't want you to think I'm downplaying the danger of this virus, and I am not ignorant of the harrowing past of the AIDS epidemic . 我並不希望你們認為我刻意 輕描淡寫這種病毒的危險性, 我並不是不知道在愛滋病 流行時的那段悲慘歷史。
downplaying:vt.不予重视;将...轻描淡写; ignorant:adj.无知的;愚昧的; harrowing:adj.令人痛心的; v.耙地; (harrow的现在分词) epidemic:n.流行病;蔓延;adj.传染病;流行性的;
I am trying to convey that there is hope for those infected and HIV is not the death sentence it was in the '80s. 我想傳達的訊息是, 受感染的人是有希望的, 且愛滋病毒不再像 八○年代時代表著死刑了。
convey:vt.传达;运输;让与; infected:adj.带菌的; v.传染; (infect的过去分词和过去式) death sentence:n.死刑;
And now you may ask, and I asked this question myself initially : 你可能會問這個問題, 我自己在一開始就問了:
initially:adv.最初,首先;开头;
Where are the stories? 故事在哪裡？
Where are these people living with HIV? Why haven't they been vocal ? 帶著愛滋病毒過日子的人在哪裡？ 他們為什麼沒聲音？
vocal:adj.嗓音的;发声的;大声表达的;直言不讳的;n.(乐曲中的)歌唱部分;
How can I believe these successes, or these statistics , without seeing the successes? 我要如何相信這些成功經驗 或是這些統計數據, 如果我沒親眼看見成功？
statistics:n.统计数字;统计资料;统计学;(statistic的复数)
And this is actually a very easy question for me to answer. 對我來說,要回答這個問題很容易。
Fear, stigma and shame: these keep those living with HIV in the closet , so to speak . 恐懼→汙名→羞恥: 這些因素讓得了愛滋病毒的人 可以說是躲在櫃子裡面。
closet:n.贮藏室;壁橱adj.隐藏(身份等)的;v.把…关在房间里; so to speak:可以说;打个譬喻说;
Our sexual histories are as personal to us as our medical histories, and when you overlap the two, you can find yourself in a very sensitive space. 我們在性方面的過去經驗 和我們的病例一樣是很個人的資訊, 當你把兩者部份重疊時, 就會發現自己處在一個 非常敏感的空間中。
sexual:adj.性的;性别的;有性的; personal:adj.个人的;身体的;亲自的;n.人事消息栏;人称代名词; overlap:n.重叠;重复;v.部分重叠;与…同时发生; sensitive:adj.敏感的;感觉的;易受影响的;n.敏感的人;有灵异能力的人;
The fear of how others perceive us when we're honest keeps us from doing many things in life, and this is the case for the HIV-positive population. 當我們誠實的時候, 會害怕別人對我們的感受, 因此讓我們在人生中 有許多事都不敢去做, 對於愛滋病毒檢測 陽性的人而言就是如此。
perceive:v.注意到;意识到;将…理解为;认为;
To face social scrutiny and ridicule is the price that we pay for transparency , and why become a martyr when you can effectively pass as someone without HIV? 我們要為透明所付出的代價, 就是面對社會的嚴密檢視和奚落, 為什麼要當烈士, 如果你裝成沒有愛滋病的人 就能有效地混過去？
scrutiny:n.详细审查;监视;细看;选票复查; ridicule:vt.嘲笑;嘲弄;愚弄;n.嘲笑;笑柄;愚弄; transparency:n.透明,透明度;幻灯片;有图案的玻璃; martyr:vt.牺牲;折磨;杀害;n.烈士;殉道者;
After all, there are no physical indications you have the virus. 畢竟,沒有任何身體上的特徵 代表你得了愛滋病毒。
physical:adj.[物]物理的;身体的;物质的;符合自然法则的;n.体格检查; indications:n.适应症,显示;标志(indication复数形式);
There's no sign that you wear. 你身上沒有戴著標牌。
There is safety in assimilation , and there is safety in invisibility . 同化能夠帶來安全感, 不被看見能夠帶來安全感。
assimilation:n.同化;吸收;[生化]同化作用; invisibility:n.看不见;看不见的东西;难看见;
I'm here to throw back that veil and share my story. 我來這裡是要把面紗揭開, 分享我的故事。
throw back:返祖者; veil:n.面纱;面罩;遮蔽物;托词;v.遮蔽;掩饰;以面纱遮掩;用帷幕分隔;
So in the fall of 2014, I was a sophomore in college and like most college students, I was sexually active, and I generally took precautions to minimize the risk that sex carries. 2014 年秋天,我是大二學生, 我和大部份大學生一樣性活躍, 我通常都會做預防措施 把性帶來的風險減到最小。
sophomore:n.(大学)二年级学生:(高中)二年级学生: sexually:adv.性,性欲 generally:adv.通常;普遍地,一般地; precautions:n.防范;预防措施;预警(precaution的复数); minimize:v.使减少到最低限度;降低;贬低;使显得不重要;
Now, I say generally, because I wasn't always safe. 我說「通常」,因為 我並非總是那麼小心。
It only takes a single misstep before we're flat on the ground, and my misstep is pretty obvious. 只要一次失誤,我們就可能完蛋了, 而我的失誤十分明顯。
misstep:n.失足;过失;踏错;失策;vi.失足;走上歧途;
I had unprotected sex, and I didn't think much of it. 我曾做過沒有保護措施的性交, 而我不以為意。
unprotected:adj.无保护的;未设防的;v.无保护;(unprotect的过去式和过去分词);
Fast-forward about three weeks, and it felt like I'd been trampled by a herd of wildebeest . 把時間快轉三週, 感覺就像我被一群牛羚踩踏過去。
Fast-forward:n.快进功能;adj.进展迅速的;vi.快进;vt.使快进; trampled:v.踩伤;践踏;摧残(人权、心灵等);(trample的过去分词和过去式) herd:n.兽群,畜群;放牧人;vi.成群,聚在一起;vt.放牧;使成群; wildebeest:n.羚羊的一种;牛羚(又名角马)(产于非洲);
The aches in my body were like nothing I have felt before or since. 我過去和之後都沒有體驗過 這種程度的身體疼痛。
I would get these bouts of fever and chill . 我會不斷發燒又發冷。
bouts:n.发作;来回一次(bout的复数); chill:n.寒冷; adj.寒冷的; v.冷冻,冷藏;
I would reel with nausea , and it was difficult to walk. 我會因為眩暈嘔吐,很難行走。
reel:vi.卷;眩晕;蹒跚地走;退缩;vt.卷;使旋转;n.蹒跚;眩晕;旋转; nausea:n.恶心,晕船;极端的憎恶;
Being a biology student, I had some prior exposure to disease , and being a fairly informed gay man, I had read a bit on HIV, so to me, it clicked that this was seroconversion, or as it's sometimes called, acute HIV infection . 身為生物學系的學生, 我比別人早接觸到疾病知識, 而身為一個有見識的同性戀, 我對愛滋病毒有些認識, 所以,對我來說, 這似乎就是血清轉化現象, 或時候會被稱為急性愛滋病毒感染。
biology:n.(一个地区全部的)生物;生物学; prior:adj.先前的; n.(小隐修院)院长; v.居先; exposure:n.暴露;显露;揭露;面临; disease:n.病,[医]疾病;弊病;vt.传染;使…有病; fairly:adv.相当地;公平地;简直; informed:adj.见多识广的; v.通知; (inform的过去分词和过去式) acute:adj.严重的,[医]急性的;敏锐的;激烈的;尖声的; infection:n.感染;传染;(身体某部位的)感染;传染病;
And this is the body's reaction in producing antibodies to the HIV antigen . 而這是身體的反應, 產生愛滋病毒抗原的抗體。
antibodies:n.[免疫]抗体(antibody的复数); antigen:n.[免疫]抗原;
It's important to note that not everybody goes through this phase of sickness, but I was one of the lucky ones who did. 很重要的是要注意到,並非 每個人都會經歷這個生病階段, 而我很幸運是有經歷的人之一。
phase:n.阶段;时期;月相;(月亮的)盈亏;v.分阶段进行;逐步做;
And I was lucky as in, there were these physical symptoms that let me know, hey, something is wrong, and it let me detect the virus pretty early. 說幸運,是因為有這些身體徵兆, 才讓我知道,嘿, 好像有什麼不對勁, 讓我能在很早期就偵測出病毒。
symptoms:n.症状;征候;征兆;(symptom的复数)
So just to clarify , just to hit the nail on head, 所以,為了澄清, 為了要能準確知道,
clarify:v.澄清;阐明;得到澄清;得到净化;
I got tested on campus . 我在校園裡做了檢測。
campus:n.(大学)校园;大学,大学生活;校园内的草地;
And they said they would call me the next morning with the results, and they called me, but they asked me to come in and speak to the doctor on staff. 他們說,隔天早上會 打電話給我告訴我結果, 他們打來了, 但他們是叫我過去,和醫生直接談。
And the reaction I received from her wasn't what I was expecting. 而我從她身上得到的反應 和我預期的不同。
She reassured me what I already knew, that this wasn't a death sentence, and she even offered to put me in contact with her brother, who had been living with HIV since the early '90s. 她向我保證我已經知道的事, 這並不是判死刑, 她甚至願意讓我和她哥哥聯絡, 她哥哥從九○年代初就 一直和愛滋病毒共存。
reassured:adj.使消除疑虑的;使放心的;v.使安心;再次保证(reassure的过去式); contact:n.接触,联系;v.使接触,联系;
I declined her offer, but I was deeply touched. 我拒絕了她的好意,但我深受感動。
declined:v.减少;下降;衰弱;婉言拒绝;(decline的过去分词和过去式)
I was expecting to be reprimanded . 我本來預期會被譴責的。
reprimanded:v.申斥;训斥;斥责;(reprimand的过去分词和过去式)
I was expecting pity and disappointment, and I was shown compassion and human warmth, and I'm forever grateful for that first exchange . 我本來預期會有憐憫和失望, 我得到的卻是同情和人情溫暖, 我永遠感激那第一次的交流。
compassion:n.同情;怜悯; exchange:n.交换;交流;交易所;兑换;v.交换;交易;兑换;
So obviously for a few weeks, I was a physical mess . 不難想像,接下來幾週, 我的身體狀況糟透了
mess:n.混乱;餐厅;杂乱;肮脏;v.使不整洁;弄脏;弄乱;随地便溺;
Emotionally , mentally , I was doing OK. 情緒上、心理上,我都還可以。
Emotionally:adv.感情上;情绪上;令人激动地;情绪冲动地; mentally:adv.精神上,智力上;心理上;
I was taking it well. 對這件事我很能接受。
But my body was ravaged , and those close to me, they weren't oblivious . 但我的身體受盡蹂躪, 和我親近的人,他們不會沒察覺。
ravaged:v.毁坏;损坏;严重损害;(ravage的过去分词和过去式) oblivious:adj.遗忘的;健忘的;不注意的;不知道的;
So I sat my roommates down, and I let them know I'd been diagnosed with HIV, that I was about to receive treatment, and I didn't want them to worry. 所以,我請室友們坐下, 我讓他們知道我被 診斷出了愛滋病毒, 我很快就要接受治療, 我不希望他們擔心。
diagnosed:v.诊断(疾病);判断(问题的原因);(diagnose的过去分词和过去式) was about to:眼看就要;即将;正要;行将;
And I remember the look on their faces. 我還記得他們臉上的神情。
They were holding each other on the couch and they were crying, and I consoled them. 坐在沙發上,他們抱著彼此哭泣, 而我在安慰他們。
couch:n.睡椅,长沙发;床;卧榻;v.蹲伏,埋伏;躺着; consoled:n.[计]控制台;[电]操纵台;vt.安慰;慰藉;
I consoled them about my own bad news, but it was heartwarming to see that they cared. 因為我的壞消息,我還要安慰他們, 但看到他們在乎,讓我覺得很窩心。
heartwarming:adj.感人的;暖人心房的;
But from that night, I noticed a shift in the way that I was treated at home. 但從那晚之後, 我就注意到,我在家中 被對待的方式有所轉變。
treated:v.以…态度对待;把…看作;(treat的过去分词和过去式)
My roommates wouldn't touch anything of mine, and they wouldn't eat anything I had cooked. 我的室友不會碰任何我的東西, 他們也不吃我煮的任何東西。
Now, in South Louisiana , we all know that you don't refuse food. 在南路易斯安那州, 我們都知道你不會拒絕食物的。
Louisiana:n.美国路易斯安那州;
(Laughter) （笑聲）
And I'm a damn good cook, so don't think that passed me by. 而我是個超棒的廚師, 所以別以為我沒注意到。
damn:v.谴责;该死;n.诅咒;adj.可恶的;
(Laughter) （笑聲）
But from these first silent hints , their aversion got gradually more obvious and more offensive . 但從這些最初的沉默暗示之後, 他們的反感漸漸變明顯了, 且更冒犯我了。
hints:n.暗示,提示(hint的复数形式);v.暗示,示意(hint的单三形式); aversion:n.厌恶;讨厌的人; gradually:adv.渐渐地;逐步地; offensive:n.进攻;攻势;攻击;侵犯;adj.冒犯的;得罪人的;无礼的;
I was asked to move my toothbrush from the bathroom, 我被要求牙刷不能放在浴室,
toothbrush:n.牙刷;
I was asked to not share towels, and I was even asked to wash my clothes on a hotter setting. 我被要求不能和他們共用毛巾, 我甚至被要求洗衣服時 設定的水溫要更高。
This wasn't head lice , y'all. 各位,這不是頭蝨。
lice:n.虱子(louse的复数);
This wasn't scabies . This was HIV. 這不是疥瘡。這是愛滋病毒。
scabies:n.[皮肤]疥疮;
It can be transmitted through blood, sexual fluids like semen or vaginal fluids and breast milk. 它的傳染途徑有血液、 性體液,如精子或陰道分泌液, 還有母乳。
fluids:n.液体;流体;液;(fluid的复数) semen:n.精液;精子; vaginal:adj.[解剖]阴道的;叶鞘的;
Since I wasn't sleeping with my roommates, 既然我沒和我的室友上床,
I wasn't breastfeeding them -- 我也沒有餵他們母乳,
breastfeeding:n.母乳哺育;v.用母乳喂养(breastfeed的现在分词);
(Laughter) （笑聲）
and we weren't reenacting " Twilight ," 且我們又沒有在重演《暮光之城》, （譯註:吸血鬼電影）
reenacting:vt.重新制定;再扮演;再制定; Twilight:n.黎明,黄昏;薄暮;衰退期;朦胧状态;adj.昏暗的,微明的;暮年的;
I was of no risk to them and I made this aware to them, but still, this discomfort , it continued, until eventually I was asked to move out. 我對他們而言是沒風險的。 我讓他們知道這件事, 但這種不舒服感仍然持續著, 直到最後我被要求搬出去。
discomfort:n.不适,不安;不便之处;vt.使…不舒服;使…不安; eventually:adv.最后,终于;
And I was asked to move out because one of my roommates had shared my status with her parents. 我會被要求搬出去, 是因為其中一名室友和 她的父母談了我的狀況。
She shared my personal medical information to strangers. 她把我的個人醫療資訊 和陌生人分享。
And now I'm doing that in a roomful of 300 of y'all, but at the time, this was not something I was comfortable with, and they expressed their discomfort with their daughter living with me. 而我現在在這間三百人的廳中 也在做著同樣的事, 但當時,那件事讓我感到不舒服, 而她父母表示,讓他們的女兒 和我同住會讓他們感到不舒服。
roomful:n.满房间;全屋的人; expressed:v.表示;表达;显而易见;不言自明;(express的过去分词和过去式)
So being gay, raised in a religious household and living in the South, discrimination wasn't new to me. 我是同性戀,在有 宗教信仰的家庭中長大, 還住在南方, 歧視對我來說並不陌生。
religious:adj.宗教的;虔诚的;严谨的;修道的;n.修道士;尼姑; household:n.家庭;一家人;同住一所(或一套)房子的人;adj.家庭的;家常的;王室的; discrimination:n.歧视;区别,辨别;识别力;
But this form was, and it was tremendously disappointing because it came from such an unlikely source . 但這個形式是以前沒碰過的, 且它非常讓人失望, 因為它是來自那麼 不可能歧視我的來源。
tremendously:adv.非常地;可怕地;惊人地; disappointing:adj.令人失望的;v.使失望;使破灭;使落空(disappoint的现在分词) unlikely:adj.不大可能发生的;非心目中的;非想象的;难以相信的; source:n.来源;水源;原始资料;
Not only were these college-educated people, not only were they other members of the LGBT community , but they were also my friends. 他們不只受大學教育, 他們不只也是 LGBT 社群的成員, 他們還是我的朋友。
community:n.社区;[生态]群落;共同体;团体;
So I did. I moved out at the end of the semester . 所以,我照做了, 我在學期末時搬出去了。
semester:n.学期;半年;
But it wasn't to appease them. 但搬出去不是為了滿足他們。
appease:vt.使平息;使满足;使和缓;对…让步;
It was out of respect for myself. 而是出於對我自己的尊重。
I wasn't going to subject myself to people who were unwilling to remedy their ignorance , and I wasn't going to let something that was now a part of me ever be used as a tool against me. 我不要讓我自己臣服於 那些不願補救自身無知的人, 我不要讓現在已經 成為我一部份的東西 被用來當作對抗我的工具。
unwilling:adj.不愿意的;不情愿的;勉强的; remedy:vt.补救;治疗;纠正;n.补救;治疗;赔偿; ignorance:n.无知,愚昧;不知,不懂;
So I opted for transparency about my status, always being visible . 所以,我選擇讓我的狀況透明化, 永遠被看見,不再躲藏。
opted:v.选择;挑选;(opt的过去分词和过去式) visible:adj.明显的;看得见的;现有的;可得到的;n.可见物;进出口贸易中的有形项目;
And this is what I like to call being the everyday advocate . 我把它稱為「當個日常的倡導者」。
advocate:v.拥护;支持;提倡;n.支持者;提倡者;辩护律师;出庭辩护人;
The point of this transparency, the point of this everyday advocacy , was to dispel ignorance, and ignorance is a very scary word. 這種透明化的重點, 做日常倡導者的重點, 是要消除無知, 而無知是個非常可怕的詞。
advocacy:n.主张;拥护;辩护; dispel:vt.驱散,驱逐;消除(烦恼等);
We don't want to be seen as ignorant, and we definitely don't want to be called it. 我們都不想被視為無知的人, 我們肯定不想被說是無知的人。
definitely:adv.清楚地,当然;明确地,肯定地;
But ignorance is not synonymous with stupid. 但無知並不是愚笨的同義詞。
synonymous:adj.同义的;同义词的;同义突变的;
It's not the inability to learn. 無知並非沒有能力去學習。
inability:n.无能力;无才能;
It's the state you're in before you learn. 它是在你學習之前的一種狀態。
So when I saw someone coming from a place of ignorance, 所以,當我看到 來自無知之地的人時,
I saw an opportunity for them to learn. 我看到的是讓他們學習的機會。
And hopefully, if I could spread some education, then I could mitigate situations for others like I had experienced with my roommates and save someone else down the line that humiliation . 我希望,如果我可以散佈一些教育, 或許可以幫助遇到類似像 我的室友狀況的其他人, 把情況緩和下來, 幫其他人省去一些羞辱。
mitigate:vt.使缓和,使减轻;vi.减轻,缓和下来; humiliation:n.丢脸,耻辱;蒙羞;谦卑;
So the reactions I received haven't been all positive . 我得到的反應不全是正面的。
reactions:n.反应;回应;抗拒;生理反应;副作用(reaction的复数) positive:adj.积极的;[数]正的,[医][化学]阳性的;确定的;n.正数;[摄]正片;
Here in the South, we have a lot stigma due to religious pressures, our lack of a comprehensive sex education and our general conservative outlook on anything sexual. 在南方這裡, 我們背負許多汙名, 原因包括宗教的壓力、 我們缺乏全面的性教育, 以及我們一般來說會用保守眼光 來看任何和性有關的事。
comprehensive:adj.综合的;广泛的;有理解力的;n.综合学校;专业综合测验; conservative:adj.保守的;n.保守派,守旧者; outlook:n.见解;前景;人生观;可能性;
We view this as a gay disease. 我們把愛滋病視為同性戀的病。
Globally, most new HIV infections occur between heterosexual partners, and here in the States, women, especially women of color, are at an increased risk. 全球來看,大部份新的愛滋病毒 感染案例發生在異性伴侶間, 在美國這裡,女性, 特別是有色人種女性, 面臨的風險在上升。
infections:n.传染病;口腔病害(infection复数形式); heterosexual:adj.异性的;异性恋的;n.异性恋的人; especially:adv.尤其;特别;格外;十分;
This is not a gay disease. It never has been. 這並不是同性戀的病,從來就不是。
It's a disease we should all be concerned with . 這是一種我們應該要關心的疾病。
concerned with:关心;涉及;忙于;与…有关;
So initially, I felt limited . 所以,一開始,我覺得很受限。
limited:adj.有限的; n.高级快车; v.限制; (limit的过去分词和过去式)
I wanted to expand my scope and reach beyond what was around me. 我想要擴展我的眼界, 想要脫出圍繞在我身邊的一切。
expand:v.扩张;使膨胀;详述;发展;张开,展开; scope:n.能力; v.仔细看;
So naturally , 所以,很自然地,
naturally:adv.自然地;自然而然地;轻而易举;天生地;大方地;
I turned to the dark underworld of online dating apps, to apps like Grindr, and for those of you who are unfamiliar , these are dating apps targeted towards gay men. 我轉向了線上約會 應用程式的黑暗世界, 像 Grindr 這種應用程式, 如果你不熟悉這領域, 這些都是同性戀的約會應用程式。
underworld:n.黑社会;地狱;下层社会;尘世; unfamiliar:adj.不熟悉的;不常见的;没有经验的;
You can upload a profile and a picture and it will show you available guys within a radius . 你可以上傳你的個人資訊和照片, 它就會告訴你在一個半徑內 可聯繫的同性戀。
upload:v.上传; radius:n.半径,半径范围;[解剖]桡骨;辐射光线;有效航程;
Y'all have probably heard of Tinder . 你們可能都聽過 Tinder。
Tinder:n.火绒;易燃物;
Grindr has been around for a lot longer, since it was much harder to meet your future gay husband at church or the grocery store, or whatever straight people did before they found out they could date on their phones. Grindr 的歷史比它長很多, 因為若想找個同性戀的 未來老公相對難許多, 不論在教堂、雜貨店, 或使用任何異性戀在發現 能用手機約會前的所使用的方式。
grocery:n.食品杂货店;食品杂货;
(Laughter) （笑聲）
So on Grindr, if you liked what you saw or read, you could send someone a message, you can meet up, you can do other things. 所以,在 Grindr 上, 如果你喜歡你看到或讀到的, 你就可以發個訊息給對方, 你們可以見面,可以做其他事。
So on my profile, I obviously stated that I had HIV, 所以,在我的個人資訊中, 我很明確寫出我有愛滋病毒,
I was undetectable, and I welcomed questions about my status. 我的病毒是檢測不出來的, 且我歡迎大家詢問我的狀況。
And I received a lot of questions and a lot of comments, both positive and negative . 我收到很多問題, 和很多意見,正面和負面的都有。
negative:adj.[数]负的;消极的;否定的;阴性的;n.否定;负数;[摄]底片;v.否定;拒绝;
And I want to start with the negative, just to frame some of this ignorance that I've mentioned before. 我想要從負面的開始, 只是想表達我之前提到的無知。
frame:n.框架; v.设计; adj.有木架的;
And most of these negative comments were passing remarks or assumptions . 大部份的負面意見 都是在提出評論或是假設。
remarks:n.评论(remark的复数);摘要;附注; assumptions:n.假定;假设;承担;获得;(assumption的复数)
They would assume things about my sex life or my sex habits. 他們對我的性生活 或是性習慣做出假設。
assume:v.承担;假定;采取;呈现;
They would assume I put myself or others at risk. 他們會假設我讓 我自己及他人承受風險。
But very often I would just be met with these passing ignorant remarks. 但我經常遇到 這種提出無知評論的人。
In the gay community, it's common to hear the word "clean" 在同性戀社群中, 常常會聽到「乾淨」這個字,
when you're referring to someone who is HIV negative. 指的是愛滋病毒檢測結果陰性的人。
referring:v.引用;提到;将…归因于…;把…提交;(refer的现在分词)
Of course the flip side to that is being unclean , or dirty, when you do have HIV. 當然,它反面就是不乾淨,或骯髒, 也就是指有愛滋病毒的人。
the flip side:反面; unclean:adj.不纯洁的;行为不检的;
Now, I'm not sensitive and I'm only truly dirty after a day in the field, but this is damaging language. 我並不敏感, 我只有在田裡一整天之後 才會真的很骯髒, 但這是種有破壞性的用詞。
This is a community-driven stigma that keeps many gay men from disclosing their status, and it keeps those newly diagnosed from seeking support within their own community, and I find that truly distressing . 這是一種由社群驅使的汙名, 讓許多同性戀不敢揭露他們的狀況, 也讓剛被診斷出愛滋病的人 不能在他們自己的社群內尋求協助, 而我覺得這點非常令人苦惱。
disclosing:公开; seeking:v.寻找;寻求;谋求;争取;(向人)请求(seek的现在分词) distressing:adj.使人痛苦的;令人苦恼的;v.使忧虑;使悲伤;使苦恼(distress的现在分词)
But thankfully , the positive responses have been a lot more numerous , and they came from guys who were curious . 但,謝天謝地,正面的回應更多, 做出這些回應的是好奇的人。
thankfully:adv.感谢地;感激地; responses:n.回答,答复;反应;响应;(response的复数) numerous:adj.许多的,很多的; curious:adj.好奇的,有求知欲的;古怪的;爱挑剔的;
And they were curious about the risks of transmission, or what exactly "undetectable" meant, or where they could get tested, or some guys would ask me about my experiences, and I could share my story with them. 他們好奇想了解傳染的風險, 或是「無法檢測出來」是什麼意思, 或是可以在哪裡做檢測, 或是還有人會問我我的經歷, 我就能和他們分享我的故事。
But most importantly, 但,最重要的是,
I would get approached by guys who were newly diagnosed with HIV and they were scared, and they were alone, and they didn't know what step to take next. 會有剛被診斷出愛滋病的人來找我, 他們很害怕,他們很孤單, 他們不知道下一步該怎麼做。
approached:v.走近;临近;探讨;建议;(approach的过去分词和过去式)
They didn't want to tell their family, they didn't want to tell their friends and they felt damaged, and they felt dirty. 他們不想要告訴家人, 他們不想要告訴朋友, 他們覺得受損、骯髒。
And I did whatever I could to immediately calm them, and then I would put them in contact with AcadianaCares, which is a wonderful resource we have in our community for those with HIV. 我會盡我所能立刻安撫他們, 接著,我會讓他們和 AcadianaCares 搭上線, 那是我們社群當中一個很棒的資源, 針對愛滋病患者的。
resource:n.资源;资料;才智;财力;v.向…提供资金(或设备);
And I'd put them in contact with people I knew personally so that they could not only have this safe space to feel human again, but so they could also have the resources they needed in affording their treatment. 我讓他們聯絡我自身認識的人, 讓他們不只能找到一個 再次感到自己是人的地方, 同時也可以取得他們需要的資源, 讓他們能負擔治療。
personally:adv.个人;亲自;本人;就本人而言; resources:n.[计][环境]资源; v.向…提供资金(resource的第三人称单数); affording:v.买得起;(有时间)做,能做;承担得起(后果);提供;(afford的现在分词)
And this was by far the most humbling aspect of my transparency, that I could have some positive impact on those who were suffering like I did, that I could help those who were in the dark, because I had been there, and it wasn't a good place to be. 目前為止,這是我讓自己透明化之後 最謙遜的面向, 我能夠對和我一樣受苦的人 造成正面的影響, 我可以協助在黑暗中的人, 因為我也曾在黑暗中待過, 那並不是個好棲身處。
humbling:adj.令人羞辱的;v.羞辱(humble的ing形式);使…谦恭;使…卑贱; aspect:n.方面;层面;外观;方位;
These guys came from all different backgrounds, and many of them weren't as informed as I had been, and they were coming to me from a place of fear. 這些人來自各式各樣的背景, 當中許多人並不像 我當時知道的那麼多, 他們是從恐懼的地方過來找我。
Some of these people I knew personally, or they knew of me, but many more, they were anonymous . 這些人當中,有的我認識本人, 或是他們聽說過我, 但更多是匿名的人。
anonymous:adj.匿名的,无名的;无个性特征的;
They were these blank profiles who were too afraid to show their faces after what they had told me. 他們的個人資訊是空白的, 在發生了他們告訴我的那些事之後, 他們害怕到不願露臉。
profiles:n.配置文件; v.扼要描述;
And on the topic of transparency, 至於透明化的這個主題,
I want to leave y'all with a few thoughts. 我想要留給各位幾個想法,
I found that with whatever risk or gamble I took in putting my face out there, it was well worth any negative comment, any flak I received, because I felt I was able to make this real and this tangible impact. 我發現,當我公開我的臉孔, 不論我冒什麼風險或賭上什麼, 任何負面評論都值得, 我受到的任何抨擊都值得, 因為我覺得我能夠造成 這真實、有形的影響。
gamble:vi.赌博; vt.赌博; n.赌博; flak:n.高射炮;抨击;谴责; tangible:adj.有形的;切实的;可触摸的;n.有形资产;
And it showed me that our efforts resound , that we can alter the lives that we encounter for the good, and they in turn can take that momentum and push it even further. 它讓我看到我們的努力得到迴響, 我們為善能夠改變 那些和我們相遇的生命, 輪到他們用那動能向前更推進一步。
resound:vi.回响;鸣响;被传颂;vt.回响;传颂;大声讲; alter:v.更改;修改(衣服使更合身); encounter:v.遭遇,邂逅;遇到;n.遭遇,偶然碰见; momentum:n.势头;[物]动量;动力;冲力;
And if any of you or anyone you know is dealing with HIV, or if you want to see what resources you have in your community, or just educate yourself more on the disease, 如果你們或是你們認識的人 正在對抗愛滋病毒, 或是如果你想要知道 你的社群內有什麼資源, 或只是想讓自己學更多 關於這疾病的知識,
here are some wonderful national sites that you can access and you are more than welcome to find me after this talk and ask me anything you'd like. 這裡有一些很棒的全國網站, 可以上去看看, 也非常歡迎你們在 這場演說之後來找我, 問我任何你們想問的問題。
sites:n.网站(site的复数);遗址,举办地点;v.使...位于(site的单三形式);
We've all heard the phrase "to see the forest through the trees," 我們都聽過「見樹不見林」,
so I implore all of you here to really see the human through the disease. 我懇求在座所有人, 真正去看到這疾病背後的「人」。
implore:vt.恳求或乞求;vi.恳求或乞求;
It's a very easy thing to see numbers and statistics and only see the perceived dangers. 只看數字和統計資料很容易, 只感受到危險也非常容易。
perceived:v.注意到;意识到;将…视为;认为;(perceive的过去式和过去分词)
It's a much harder thing to see all the faces behind those numbers. 難的是看到這些數字 背後的所有面孔。
So when you find yourself thinking those things, those words, what you might have thought looking at David Kirby, 當你發現你自己開始思考 這些事、這些話, 當你看著大衛柯比時 你可能會想什麼,
I ask you instead, think son, or think brother, think friend and most importantly , think human. 我請你改個方式, 想想兒子, 或想想兄弟, 想想朋友, 最重要的,想想人類。
and most importantly:最主要的是…;
Seek education when faced with ignorance, and always be mindful , and always be compassionate . 面對無知的人時,尋求教育, 總是記得留心, 總是保有同情心。
mindful:adj.留心的;记住的;警觉的; compassionate:adj.慈悲的;富于同情心的;vt.同情;怜悯;
Thank you. 謝謝你們。
(Applause) （掌聲）