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AnneMarieAlbano_2020P-_来自未来的自动对焦镜_-
As a child, I had many fears. 我从小就是个胆小的人。
I was afraid of lightning , insects, loud noises and costumed characters. 我怕闪电、昆虫、 大的声音和装扮成卡通人物的人。
I also had two very severe phobias of doctors and injections . 我最怕两件事: 看医生和打针。
During my struggles to escape from our family doctor , 为了抗拒看家庭医生,
I would become so physically combative that he actually slapped me in the face to stun me. 我会拼命的挣扎, 以致医生要打我耳光 才能让我镇定下来。
lightning:n.闪电;adj.闪电般的;飞快的;突然的 costumed:adj.穿著特种服装的;穿著戏装的; severe:adj.极为恶劣的;十分严重的;严厉的;苛刻的; phobias:n.[内科]恐怖症;憎恶(phobia的复数); injections:n.注射(injection的复数);注射剂;注射室; family doctor:na.家庭特约医师; combative:adj.好战的;好事的; slapped:v.(用手掌)打,拍,掴;随意扔放;(slap的过去分词和过去式) stun:v.使昏迷;使震惊;给以深刻印象;n.震惊;晕眩;胡桃;
I was six. 当时我才六岁。
I was all fight-or-flight back then, and holding me down for a simple vaccine took three or four adults, including my parents. 那时候我精神紧绷, 打个疫苗都需要三四个成年人拉住我, 包括我的父母在内。
Later, our family moved from New York to Florida just as I was starting high school, and being the new kid at the parochial school, not knowing anyone and being worried about fitting in, on the very first day of school, a teacher takes roll and calls out "Anne Marie Albano," 后来,在我准备升入高中的时候, 我们举家从纽约搬到了佛罗里达。 作为一名进入了 一所教区学校的新生, 我不认识任何同学, 很担心融入不了这里。 开学第一天, 有个老师点名时叫了 “安妮·玛丽·阿尔巴诺”,
vaccine:n.疫苗;牛痘苗;adj.疫苗的;牛痘的; parochial:adj.教区的;狭小的;地方范围的; fitting:adj.适合的;恰当的;n.试衣;小配件,附件;v.适合,合身;试穿;(fit的现在分词)
to which I respond , [In a Staten Island accent] "Here!" 我回答: （纽约斯塔滕岛的口音）“到！”
She laughs and says, "Oh, precious , stand up. 她笑着说:“亲爱的,站起来。
Say D-O-G." 说 D-O-G（狗）。”
And I respond, [In a Staten Island accent] "Dog?" 我回答: （纽约斯塔滕岛的口音） “狗？”
The class broke out in laughter along with the teacher. 包括老师在内,全班一起哄堂大笑。[01:18]
respond:vi.回答;作出反应;承担责任;n.应答;唱和; Staten:n.斯塔恩(岛); precious:adj.宝贵的;珍贵的;矫揉造作的;
And so it went, because she had many more words to humiliate me with. 从此以后, 老师一直换着法儿的羞辱我。
I went home sobbing , distraught and begging to be sent back to New York or to some nunnery . 我哭着回家, 非常难过, 求着父母送我回纽约, 或者去修女院,
I did not want to go back to that school again. No way. 我不想再回到那所学校了。
My parents listened and told me that they would investigate with the monsignor back in New York, but that I had to keep going in each day so I'd have the attendance record to transfer to ninth grade on Staten Island. 父母听了我的哭诉, 告诉我他们会与在纽约的教父商量, 但在此期间, 我还是得每天去学校报到, 因为有了良好的出勤记录, 我才能转回纽约上初三。
humiliate:v.羞辱;使丧失尊严; sobbing:v.哭诉;泣诉;抽噎着说;(sob的现在分词) distraught:adj.发狂的;心烦意乱的; nunnery:n.尼姑庵;女修道院; investigate:v.调查;研究;审查; monsignor:n.大人,老爷;阁下;有此荣衔神职者; attendance:n.出席;到场;出席人数; transfer:n.转移;调任;调离;[体]转会球员;v.调任;调走;转学;转移;
All of this was before email and cell phones, so over the next several weeks, supposedly , there were letters being sent between the Archdiocese of Manhattan and Miami and with the Vatican , 这些都发生在有手机和电邮之前, 所以在接下来的几周, 据说一直有一些信件 往返于曼哈顿教区、 迈阿密 和梵蒂冈,
and each day, I'd go into school crying and come home crying, to which my mother would give me an update from some cardinal or bishop to "Keep her going to school while we find her a spot." 而在此期间,我每天都会 哭着去上课,哭着回家, 我妈妈也会安慰我说,某些主教希望 “让她继续在这里上课, 等到我们有空位给她。”
supposedly:adv.据说;据信;据传; Archdiocese:n.大主教之管区; Vatican:n.梵蒂冈;罗马教廷; update:vt.使现代化;更新;n.现代化;更新的信息; cardinal:n.红衣主教; adj.主要的,基本的; bishop:n.主教;象;
Was I naive or what? 我当时是不是太单纯？
(Laughter) （笑）
Well, after a couple of weeks, one day, while waiting for the school bus, 过了几周,某天,在等校车的时候,
I met a girl named Debbie, and she introduced me to her friends. 我遇到了一位叫 Debbie 的女孩, 她把我介绍给了她的朋友。
And they became my friends, and, well, the Pope was off the hook . 然后我跟他们都成了朋友, 接着就把教主的事抛在脑后了。[02:37]
naive:adj.天真的,幼稚的; Pope:n.教皇,罗马教皇;权威,大师; off the hook:摆脱困境;脱身;
(Laughter) （笑）
I began to calm down and settle in. 我渐渐开始融入了这个环境。
My past three decades of studying anxiety in children stems partly from my own search for self-understanding. 我花了 30 年研究孩童焦虑, 一部分原因是出于我想了解我自己。
And I've learned much. 我学到了很多。
For young people, anxiety is the most common childhood psychiatric condition. 焦虑是最常见的孩童精神疾病。
settle:v.定居;结算;停留;确定;n.高背长椅(老式木家具,有扶手,座下多带柜); anxiety:n.焦虑;渴望;挂念;令人焦虑的事; stems:n.花草的茎或梗; v.阻止; (stem的第三人称单数和复数) childhood:n.童年;幼年;孩童时期 psychiatric:adj.精神病学的;精神病治疗的;
These disorders start early, by age four, and by adolescence , one in 12 youths are severely impaired in their ability to function at home, in school and with peers . 从四岁发病, 直到青春期,1/12 的儿童 在家里、学校和 与同伴相处上都面临困难。
These kids are so frightened , worried, literally physically uncomfortable due to their anxiety. 焦虑导致他们感到恐惧、 担心, 甚至是生理上的不适。
It's difficult for them to pay attention in school, relax and have fun, make friends and do all the things that kids should be doing. 他们在学校里无法专心、 放松、玩耍、 交朋友, 以及做他们的年龄该做的事。
disorders:n.无秩序,混乱; v.[电子]扰乱(disorder的单三形式); adolescence:n.青春期; severely:adv.严重地;严格地,严厉地;纯朴地; impaired:adj.受损的;v.损害(impair的过去式和过去分词); peers:n.平辈,同事(peer的复数);v.凝视;比得上(peer的三单形式); frightened:adj.害怕的;受惊的;惊吓的;v.使惊吓;使惊恐;(frighten的过去分词和过去式) literally:adv.按字面:字面上:确实地: relax:v.放松,休息;松懈,松弛;变从容;休养;
Anxiety can create misery for the child, and the parents are front and center in witnessing their child's distress . 焦虑让孩子感到痛苦, 而家长在近距离目睹着孩子的忧虑。
As I met more and more children with anxiety through my work, 因为工作的缘故, 我接触了越来越多的孩子,
I had to go back to mom and dad and ask them a couple of questions. 而我也不得不回去 问我父母一些问题。
'"Why did you hold me down when I was so frightened of getting injections and force them on me? “我那么害怕打针, 可当初你们为什么 逼我打针？
misery:n.痛苦,悲惨;不幸;苦恼;穷困; witnessing:v.当场看到,目击;是发生…的地点;见证;(witness的现在分词) distress:n.危难,不幸;贫困;悲痛;v.使悲痛;使贫困;
And why tell me these tall tales to make me go to school when I was so worried about being embarrassed again?" 我那么担心自己会被嘲笑, 可你们却编了 那么多的故事骗我去上课？”
They said, "Our hearts broke for you each time, but we knew that these were things that you had to do. 他们回答:“我们每次看到都很心痛, 但我们知道那是你必须要做的事。
We had to risk you becoming upset while we waited for you to get used to the situation with time and with more experience. 我们冒着让你难过的风险, 希望等你慢慢习惯后, 能够逐渐适应这些状况。
embarrassed:adj.尴尬的;窘迫的;v.使...局促不安;(embarrass的过去分词和过去式) upset:adj.沮丧; v.打乱; n.苦恼; (意外的)混乱; get used to:开始习惯于
You had to get vaccinated . 你必须打疫苗,
You had to go to school." 你也必须去上学。”
Little did my parents know, but they were doing more than inoculating me from the measles . 他们当时并不知道, 他们不只是给我 打了麻疹的预防针,
They were also inoculating me from a lifetime of anxiety disorders. 还为我打了 避免终身焦虑的预防针。
vaccinated:v.给…接种疫苗;(vaccinate的过去分词和过去式) inoculating:[医]接种;灌输(inoculate的现在分词); measles:n.[内科]麻疹;风疹;
Excessive anxiety in a young child is like a superbug -- and infectious , even multiplying , such that many of the youth that I see come in with more than one anxiety condition occurring at the same time . 过度焦虑对孩子来说 是一种超强病毒—— 传染力强,甚至会“繁殖”, 导致我所见到的青少年中, 很多人都同时患有多种焦虑症。
For example, they'll have specific phobia plus separation anxiety plus social anxiety all together. 比如,他们对某个事物 有极大的恐惧症, 还伴有分离焦虑症 和社交焦虑症。
Left untreated , anxiety in early childhood can lead to depression by adolescence. 如果不及时进行治疗, 童年的焦虑症就会导致 青春期的抑郁症,
Excessive:adj.过多的,极度的;过分的; superbug:n.超级病菌; infectious:adj.传染的;传染性的;易传染的; multiplying:n.繁殖;adj.乘法的;v.乘;繁殖;增加(multiply的ing形式); occurring:n.事件;事故;事变; at the same time:同时;另一方面;与此同时; specific:adj.特殊的,特定的;明确的;详细的;[药]具有特效的;n.特性;细节;特效药; separation:n.分离;分开;分割;隔离; untreated:adj.未经处理的;未经治疗的; depression:n.沮丧;洼地;不景气;忧愁;
It can also contribute to substance abuse and to suicidality . 甚至吸毒成瘾和自杀。
My parents were not therapists . 我的父母并不是咨询师,
They didn't know any psychologists . 也不认识任何心理医生。
All they knew is that these situations may have been uncomfortable for me, but they were not harmful. 他们只知道这些情况让我不自在, 但并不会对我造成伤害。
contribute to:有助于;捐献; substance:n.物质;实质;主旨;物品; abuse:n.滥用;虐待;辱骂;弊端;恶习,陋习;v.滥用;虐待;辱骂; suicidality:自杀倾向;自杀行为;自杀想法与行为; therapists:n.治疗专家(therapist的复数); psychologists:n.[心理]心理学家(psychologist的复数形式);
My excessive anxiety would harm me more over the long term if they let me avoid and escape these situations and not learn how to tolerate occasional distress. 如果他们允许我逃避这些情况, 而不学会怎么去面对这些负面的刺激, 长期下来,焦虑症 只会对我造成更大的伤害。
So in essence , mom and dad were doing their own homegrown version of exposure therapy , which is the central and key component of cognitive behavioral treatment for anxiety. 所以,我父母只是在实行家庭版的 暴露疗法, 这是在认知行为疗法里 治疗焦虑症 最关键的部分。
tolerate:v.容忍;忍受;容许;包容; occasional:adj.偶然的;临时的;特殊场合的; in essence:本质上;其实;大体上; homegrown:adj.国产的;自家种植的; exposure:n.暴露;显露;揭露;面临; therapy:n.治疗,疗法; component:n.成分;部件;组成部分;adj.构成的; cognitive:adj.认知的,认识的; behavioral:adj.行为的; treatment:n.治疗;疗法;对待;处理;讨论;
My colleagues and I conducted the largest randomized controlled study of the treatments of anxiety in children ages seven to 17. 我和同事们通过 一项最大规模的随机对照试验 研究了 7 至 17 岁儿童的焦虑疗法。
We found that child-focused cognitive behavioral exposure therapy or medication with a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor are effective for 60 percent of treated youth. 我们发现,针对儿童的 认知行为暴露疗法, 或者服用选择性血清素再摄取抑制剂, 只对 60 % 的青少年患者有效。
colleagues:n.同事;同行(colleague的复数); conducted:v.组织;安排;实施;执行;指挥;带领;引导;(conduct的过去分词和过去式) randomized:adj.[数]随机化的,随机的;v.使随机化;做任意排列(randomize的过去分词); treatments:n.治疗;疗法;对待;处理;讨论;(treatment的复数) medication:n.药;药物; selective:adj.选择性的;有选择的;认真挑选的;严格筛选的; serotonin:n.[生化]血清素;5-羟色胺(血管收缩素); reuptake:n.再摄取;再吸收; inhibitor:n.[助剂]抑制剂,抗化剂;抑制者; effective:adj.有效的,起作用的;实际的,实在的;给人深刻印象;
And their combination gets 80 percent of kids well within three months. 如果两种措施同时使用, 80 % 的患者可以在 3 个月里康复。
This is all good news. 这是好消息。
And if they stay on the medication or do monthly exposure treatments as we did in the length of the study, they could stay well for upwards of a year. 如果他们持续服用药物, 或是每个月接受暴露疗法, 就像我们在实验中采用的那样, 他们在 1 年内都不会复发。
combination:n.结合;组合;联合;[化学]化合; monthly:n.月刊:adv.每个月:每月一次:adj.每月的: upwards:adv.向上;在上部;向上游;
However, after this treatment study ended, we went back and a did a follow-up study of the participants , and we found that many of these kids relapsed over time. 但是,在这个疗法实验结束后, 我们对之前的患者 进行跟踪研究, 发现过了一段时间, 有很多患者会复发。
And, despite the best of evidence-based treatments, we also found that for about 40 percent of the kids with anxiety, they remained ill throughout the course of the time. 即便在治疗效果最好的那一批患者中, 也有 40 % 的焦虑症儿童 持续表现出了焦虑的病状。
follow-up:adj.后续的;增补的;n.随访;跟进;后续行动; participants:n.参与者(participant的复数形式); relapsed:v.退回原状;(好转后)再倒退;(relapse的过去分词和过去式) despite:prep.尽管,不管;n.轻视;憎恨;侮辱; evidence-based:adj.基于证据的; throughout:adv.自始至终,到处;全部;prep.贯穿,遍及;
We've thought a lot about these results. 我们仔细思考了这些结果。
What were we missing? 我们遗漏了什么吗？
We've hypothesized that because we were focusing on just child-focused intervention , perhaps there's something important about addressing the parents and involving them in treatment, too. 据推断,这是因为我们只专注于 针对孩童的治疗, 却忽略了父母对他们造成的影响, 所以家长们也应该参与治疗。
Studies from my own lab and from colleagues around the world have shown a consistent trend : well-meaning parents are often inadvertently drawn into the cycle of anxiety. 我的研究组和 其他国家的心理学研究组 都揭示了共同的趋势: 具有良好初衷的父母 常常会不可避免地 卷入焦虑的恶性循环。
hypothesized:v.假定,假设,猜测(hypothesize的过去式); intervention:n.介入;调停;妨碍; involving:v.包含;需要;牵涉;牵连;影响;(使)参加;(involve的现在分词) consistent:adj.始终如一的,一致的;坚持的; trend:n.趋势;动向;趋向;动态;v.走向;趋向; well-meaning:adj.善意的;好心的; inadvertently:adj.非故意地,无心地;
They give in, and they make too many accommodations for their child, and they let their children escape challenging situations. 面对孩子的焦虑,他们会让步, 迁就他们的孩子, 允许自己的孩子逃避那些困难的情况。
I want you to think about it like this: 假设:
Your child comes into the house to you crying, in tears. 你的孩子哭着跑回家。
They're five or six years of age. 他们才 5 岁或 6 岁。
'"Nobody at school likes me! These kids are mean. “学校的小朋友都不喜欢我！ 他们很坏。[08:03]
accommodations:n.住处;办公处;住宿;调解;(accommodation的复数)
No one would play with me." 他们都不跟我玩。”
How do you feel seeing your child so upset? 看到他们难过,你会有什么样的感受？
What do you do? 你会做什么？
The natural parenting instinct is to comfort that child, soothe them, protect them and fix the situation. 父母会本能地安慰孩子、哄他们、 保护他们,并解决这个问题。
Calling the teacher to intervene or the other parents to arrange playdates , that may be fine at age five. 他们或许会打电话叫老师进行调解, 约别的父母带孩子一起玩, 这些都是对付 5 岁小孩的办法。
But what do you do if your child keeps coming home day after day in tears? 但如果你的孩子持续 每天都哭着回家呢？
instinct:n.本能;天性;直觉;adj.充满的; soothe:vt.安慰;使平静;缓和;vi.起抚慰作用; intervene:vi.干涉;调停;插入; arrange:v.安排;排列;整理; playdates:n.上映期;玩耍约会;(playdate的复数) day after day:日复一日;
Do you still fix things for them at age eight, 10, 14? 你还要继续替他们解决, 直到 8 岁、10 岁、14 岁吗？
For children, as they are developing, they invariably are going to be encountering challenging situations: sleepovers , oral reports, a challenging test that pops up, 在孩子成长的过程中, 一定会面临各种难题: 去别人家过夜、课堂演讲、 突击测验、
trying out for a sports team or a spot in the school play, conflicts with peers ... 加入校体育队、 或是在校园戏剧里试镜角色, 与同学发生矛盾,等等。
All these situations involve risk: risk of not doing well, not getting what they want, risk of maybe making mistakes or being embarrassed. 这些情况都包含冒险的因素: 表现不好的风险、 达不到预期目标的风险、 犯错的风险、 或者让他们难堪的风险。
invariably:adv.总是;不变地;一定地; encountering:v.遭遇,遇到;偶然碰到;意外地遇见;(encounter的现在分词) sleepovers:n.(儿童或年轻人在某人家玩乐并过夜的)聚会;(sleepover的复数) conflicts:n.冲突; v.抵触; involve:v.包含;需要;牵涉;牵连;影响;(使)参加;
For kids with anxiety who don't take risks and engage , they then don't learn how to manage these types of situations. 对于焦虑的孩子来说, 如果他们不主动迎接风险, 他们就无法学会如何应对这些状况。
Right? 对吗？
Because skills develop with exposure over time, repeated exposure to everyday situations that kids encounter: self-soothing skills or the ability to calm oneself down when upset; problem-solving skills, 因为这是随着时间累积的能力, 在反复面对这些日常状况时, 孩子才能逐渐培养出这些能力: 自我安慰, 或控制情绪; 解决问题,
engage:v.吸引,占用;使参加;雇佣;使订婚;预定; self-soothing:自我安抚; problem-solving:adj.问题解决的;n.解决问题;找出问题的答案;
including the ability to resolve conflicts with others; delay of gratification , or the ability to keep your efforts going despite the fact that you have to wait over time to see what happens. 包括解决于同学之间的矛盾; 延迟满足, 就是在等待的时候 还能坚持的毅力。
These and many other skills are developing in children who take risks and engage. 只有通过冒险和直面这些状况, 孩子才能拥有这些能力。
And self-efficacy takes shape, which, simply put, is the belief in oneself that you can overcome challenging situations. 他们也会慢慢获得自我效能, 简单来说,就是相信自己 可以克服这些难题。
resolve:vt.决定; vi.解决; n.坚决; gratification:n.满意;喜悦;使人满意之事; self-efficacy:n.自我效能; overcome:vt.克服;胜过;vi.克服;得胜;
For kids with anxiety who escape and avoid these situations and get other people to do them for them, they become more and more anxious with time while less confident in themselves. 患有焦虑症的孩子 如果总是逃避这些状况 或找他人替他们解决问题, 他们只会越来越焦虑, 同时失去自信。
Contrary to their peers who don't suffer with anxiety, they come to believe that they are incapable of managing these situations. 相比没有焦虑症的孩子, 他们会认为自己无法应对这些状况。
They think that they need someone, someone like their parents, to do things for them. 他们会认为他们需要别人,例如父母, 来替他们做这些事。
confident:adj.自信的;确信的; Contrary:adj.相反的;对立的;adv.相反地;n.相反;反面; incapable:adj.不能的;无能力的;不能胜任的;
Now, while the natural parenting instinct is to comfort and protect and reassure kids, in 1930, the psychiatrist Alfred Adler had already cautioned parents that we can love a child as much as we wish, but we must not make that child dependent . 虽然父母的本能就是安慰、保护 和安抚孩子, 但在 1930 年,精神科医师 阿尔弗雷德·阿德勒（Alfred Adler） 就劝诫过父母, 可以尽所能的爱自己的孩子, 但不要让他们过度依赖别人。
He advised parents to begin training kids from the very beginning to stand on their own two feet. 他建议父母尽早锻炼孩子的独立能力。
He also cautioned that if children get the impression that their parents have nothing better to do than be at their beck and call , they would gain a false idea of love. 他也提醒道,如果孩子 觉得自己的父母可以随叫随到, 他们对爱的认知就会有偏差。
reassure:vt.使…安心,使消除疑虑; psychiatrist:n.精神病学家,精神病医生; dependent:adj.取决于;依靠的;依赖的;有瘾的;n.受赡养者;扈从;依存[从属]物; advised:adj.考虑过的; v.劝告; (advise的过去分词和过去式) impression:n.印象;影响;效果;感想; beck and call:有求必应;随叫随到;
For children with anxiety in this day and age, they are always calling their parents or texting distress calls at all hours of the day and night. 如今,患有焦虑症的孩子 总是习惯经常打电话给他们的父母, 或发短信求救。
So if children with anxiety don't learn the proper coping mechanisms when young, what happens to them when they grow up? 如果患有焦虑症的孩子 不在儿时学会正确的应对方式, 他们长大后怎么办？
I run groups for parents of young adults with anxiety disorders. 我为患有焦虑症的青少年的家长 成立了一些互助小组。
These youth are between the ages of 18 and 28. 他们的孩子 都处于 18 - 28 岁的年龄段,
They are mostly living at home, dependent on their parents. 大部分与父母同住, 依赖于他们的父母。
coping:n.墙压顶;v.(成功地)对付,处理;(cope的现在分词) mechanisms:n.机制;[机]机构(mechanism的复数);机械;[机]机构学; dependent on:依赖于;依靠;
Many of them may have attended school and college. 很多人上过初中、高中和大学,
Some have graduated. 有些毕业了。
Almost all are not working, just staying at home and not doing much of anything. 但几乎所有人都没有工作, 只是呆在家里,整天无所事事。
They don't have meaningful relationships with others, and they are very, very dependent on their parents to do all sort of things for them. 他们没有密切的社交圈, 而且非常依赖父母 去帮他们完成所有的事。
Their parents still make their doctors appointments for them. 父母至今还帮他们预约看病,
They call the kids' old friends and beg them to come visit. 打电话叫他们的朋友来家里玩,
They do the kids' laundry and cook for them. 帮他们洗衣做饭,
And they are in great conflict with their young adult, because the anxiety has flourished but the youth has not. 却也经常与他们发生矛盾, 因为他们的焦虑症变严重了, 但心智却没有成长。[12:31]
meaningful:adj.严肃的;重要的;重大的;意味深长的; appointments:n.约会;预约;约定;任命;委任;职位;(appointment的复数) laundry:n.洗衣店,洗衣房;要洗的衣服;洗熨;洗好的衣服; flourished:v.繁荣;昌盛;兴旺;茁壮成长;(flourish的过去式和过去分词)
These parents feel enormous guilt, but then resentment , and then more guilt. 这些父母感到极度愧疚 , 之后是懊悔, 这种懊悔又导致了更多的愧疚。
OK, how about some good news? 那么,好消息是什么呢？
If parents and key figures in a child's life can help the child, assist them to confront their fears and learn how to problem-solve, then it is more likely that the children are going to develop their own internal coping mechanisms for managing their anxiety. 如果家长,以及 孩子成长过程中的一些关键人物 一同帮助孩子克服他们的恐惧, 并且学习如何解决问题, 那这些孩子就更有可能 发展出一套内部应对机制 来管理自己的焦虑。
enormous:adj.庞大的,巨大的;凶暴的,极恶的; resentment:n.愤恨,怨恨; confront:v.直面;无法回避;降临于;处理;对抗; internal:n.内脏;本质;adj.内部的;里面的;体内的;(机构)内部的;
We teach parents now to be mindful in the moment and think about their reaction to their child's anxiety. 现在,我们教导父母用心来思考 自己面对孩子焦虑时的反应。
We ask them, "Look at the situation and ask, 'What is this situation at hand? 我们问他们, “面对这种情况时问自己: ‘现在的情况是什么？
How threatening is it to my child? 对我的孩子会造成多大的危险？
And what do I ultimately want them to learn from it?'" 我到底要他们从中学到什么？’ ”
mindful:adj.留心的;记住的;警觉的; reaction:n.反应,感应;反动,复古;反作用; ultimately:adv.最终;最后;归根结底;终究;
Now of course, we want parents to listen very carefully, because if a child is being bullied seriously or put in harm's way, we want parents to intervene, absolutely . 当然,家长们也要明白, 如果一个孩子被霸凌或受伤, 我们肯定会要求父母介入, 毋庸置疑。
But in typical , everyday anxiety-producing situations, parents can be most helpful to their child if they remain calm and matter-of-fact and warm, if they validate the child's feelings but then help the child, assist them in planning how the child is going to manage the situation. 但在日常会导致焦虑的状况中, 父母能给孩子最大的帮助 就是保持冷静、理智、态度温和, 不去否定他们的感受, 但同时帮助孩子 思考如何应对这种情况。
bullied:v.恐吓;伤害;胁迫;(bully的过去分词和过去式) absolutely:adv.绝对地;完全地; typical:adj.典型的;特有的;象征性的; matter-of-fact:adj.实事求是的;讲求实际的;不带感情的;平淡的; validate:v.证实;确认;使生效;批准;认可;
And then -- this is key -- to actually have the child deal with the situation themselves. 然后——这是最关键的—— 要让孩子自己去面对这些情况。
Of course, it is heartbreaking to watch a child suffer, as my parents told me years later. 当然,看到孩子难过,自己也会心疼, 我的父母也是在很多年后才告诉我的。
When you see your child suffering but you think you could swoop in and save them from the pain of it, that's everything, right? 当你看到你的孩子难过, 但你觉得可以马上 让他们摆脱痛苦, 这是最重要的,对吧？
That's what we want to do. 我们都想这么做。
But whether we are young or old, excessive anxiety leads us to overestimate risk and distress while underestimating our ability to cope . 但不论我们年长还是年少, 过度焦虑都会让我们 放大风险和焦虑, 同时低估了我们的适应能力。
heartbreaking:adj.令人心碎的;使人悲痛的; swoop:v.俯冲;突然袭击;突然行动;n.突然袭击;俯冲;突击搜查; overestimate:v.高估;n.过高的评估; underestimating:v.低估;对…估计不足;轻视;(underestimate的现在分词) cope:v.处理;n.大圆衣;
We know that repeated exposure to what we fear weakens anxiety, while building resources and resilience . 不断接触自己所恐惧的事物 会降低我们的焦虑, 同时增加我们处理问题的 资源和抗压能力。
My parents were on to something. 我的父母发现了其中的奥秘。
Today's hyper-anxious youth are not being helped by overly protective parenting. 在现在的社会里, 过度保护的教育方式 并不会改善过度焦虑的问题。
Calmness and confidence are not just emotions . 冷静与自信不只是某种情感,
weakens:vt.减少;使变弱;使变淡;vi.变弱;畏缩;变软弱; resources:n.[计][环境]资源; v.向…提供资金(resource的第三人称单数); resilience:n.恢复力;弹力;顺应力; overly:adv.过度地;极度地; protective:adj.防护的;关切保护的;保护贸易的; Calmness:n.冷静,镇静;平静,安宁; confidence:n.信心;信任;秘密;adj.(美)诈骗的;骗得信任的; emotions:n.强烈的感情;激情;情感;(emotion的复数)
They are coping skills that parents and children can learn. 还是父母与孩子 可以一同学习的应对方式。
Thank you. 谢谢。
(Applause) （鼓掌）