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AmyWebb_2013S-_玩转婚恋网_
So my name is Amy Webb, and a few years ago I found myself at the end of yet another fantastic relationship that came burning down in a spectacular fashion. 我的名字呢 叫艾米·韦伯 几年前 我发现自己走到 又一段美好恋情的尽头 一切绚丽消逝
fantastic:奇异的,空想的 spectacular:adj.壮观的;壮丽的;令人惊叹的;n.壮观的场面;精彩的表演;
And I thought, you know, what's wrong with me? 你说我 到底怎么了？
I don't understand why this keeps happening. 真不懂 为什么每次都这样
So I asked everybody in my life what they thought. 我就去问 身边的人 看他们 怎么想
I turned to my grandmother, who always had plenty of advice, and she said, "Stop being so picky . 我找到 姥姥 她总有 很多忠告 她说 “别太挑剔了
picky:adj.挑剔的;吹毛求疵的;过分讲究的;
You've got to date around. “你得 多跟人谈谈
And most importantly , true love will find you when you least expect it." “还有 最重要的是“ “顺其自然 缘分始终会来的“
And most importantly:最主要的是…;
Now as it turns out, 而实际上
I'm somebody who thinks a lot about data, as you'll soon find. 我这个人 总要找依据 这点相信你 很快会发现
I am constantly swimming in numbers and formulas and charts. 我总是沉浸在 数字当中 长期和公式 图表打交道
constantly:adv.不断地;时常地; formulas:n.[数]公式;配方;规则(formula的复数);
I also have a very tight-knit family, and I'm very, very close with my sister, and as a result , I wanted to have the same type of family when I grew up. 同时 我的家庭 非常和睦 我和姐姐 关系特别好 所以 从小我就想 长大以后 要有一个温暖的大家庭
tight-knit:adj.亲密的,紧密的; as a result:结果;
So I'm at the end of this bad breakup, 所以这次分手 很伤心
I'm 30 years old, 我当时30岁
I figure I'm probably going to have to date somebody for about six months before I'm ready to get monogamous and before we can sort of cohabitate , and we have to have that happen for a while before we can get engaged . 想着 起码要和下一任 交往6个月 才能真正 确定关系 然后再考虑 搬一起住 之后再过段时间 才考虑订婚
monogamous:adj.一夫一妻的;[动]单配的; cohabitate:vi.同居,姘居; for a while:adv.片刻;暂时;一会儿;一时; engaged:adj.已订婚的; v.吸引住; (engage的过去分词和过去式)
And if I want to start having children by the time I'm 35, that meant that I would have had to have been on my way to marriage five years ago. 所以 如果想在35岁之前 要孩子 就意味着我必须 提前5年为结婚做准备
So that wasn't going to work. 很明显 那行不通
If my strategy was to least-expect my way into true love, then the variable that I had to deal with was serendipity . 如果换个思路 “顺其自然”等缘分 那么 我要面临的变数 是运气 那么 我要面临的变数 是运气
strategy:n.策略;行动计划;部署;战略; variable:n.变量;可变因素;可变情况;adj.多变的;易变的;变化无常的;可更改的; serendipity:n.意外发现珍奇事物的本领;有意外发现珍宝的运气;
In short, I was trying to figure out, well, what's the probability of my finding Mr. Right? 简单来说 我想探个究竟 看看 随缘偶遇真命天子 概率有多高
probability:n.可能性;机率;[数]或然率;
Well, at the time I was living in the city of Philadelphia , and it's a big city, and I figured, in this entire place, there are lots of possibilities. 当时我呢 住在费城 这是个大城市 所以我判断 地方越大 机会越大
Philadelphia:n.费城(美国宾夕法尼亚州东南部港市);
So again, I started doing some math. 接着我又开始 算数了
Population of Philadelphia: It has 1.5 million people. 费城人口:总共150万
I figure about half of that are men, so that takes the number down to 750,000. 估计 一半是男性 有效人数 下降到75万
I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 30 and 36, which was only four percent of the population, so now I'm dealing with the possibility of 30,000 men. 我的目标是 30到36岁之间的男性 他们 占这部分人口的4% 算起来 可能剩下3万人
I was looking for somebody who was Jewish , because that's what I am and that was important to me. 我要找 犹太人 因为我本身也是 这点很重要
Jewish:adj.犹太人的;犹太族的;
That's only 2.3 percent of the population. 他们只占 这部分人口的2.3%
I figure I'm attracted to maybe one out of 10 of those men, and there was no way I was going to deal with somebody who was an avid golfer . 然后 估计10个人当中 有1个我喜欢 然后 估计10个人当中 有1个我喜欢 还有 我和爱打高尔夫的 完全合不来 还有 我和爱打高尔夫的 完全合不来
avid:adj.渴望的,贪婪的;热心的; golfer:n.高尔夫球手;
So that basically meant there were 35 men for me that I could possibly date in the entire city of Philadelphia. 也就是说 对我而言 费城总共有35位男士 适宜约会 在整个费城！
basically:adv.主要地,基本上;
In the meantime , my very large Jewish family was already all married and well on their way to having lots and lots of children, and I felt like I was under tremendous peer pressure to get my life going already. 与此同时 我们犹太大家族 其他成员 全部都结了婚 而且还生了 很多很多孩子 所以我总有 巨大的压力和紧迫感 要尽快解决 人生大事
In the meantime:在此期间;于此际; tremendous:adj.极大的,巨大的;惊人的;极好的; peer:n.同辈;同龄人;身份(或地位)相同的人;(英国)贵族成员;v.仔细看;端详;
So if I have two possible strategies at this point 这时候 我有两个办法
strategies:n.策略;行动计划;部署;战略;(strategy的复数)
I'm sort of figuring out. 我发现
One, I can take my grandmother's advice and sort of least-expect my way into maybe bumping into the one out of 35 possible men in the entire 1.5 million-person city of Philadelphia, or I could try online dating. 我发现 尝试“顺其自然” 碰上那一位 尝试“顺其自然” 碰上那一位 在费城茫茫 150万人海中 偶遇那35位男士 其中的一位 又或者 我可以试试婚恋网
bumping:v.碰上,撞上;颠簸行进(bump的现在分词)
Now, I like the idea of online dating, because it's predicated on an algorithm, and that's really just a simple way of saying 其实我挺喜欢 这个概念 因为我们可以 用运算规则推算结果 所谓运算规则 其实很简单
predicated:adj.断言的,断定的;v.断言;断定(predicate的过去式);
I've got a problem, I'm going to use some data, run it through a system and get to a solution . 当我们遇到问题 只要收集数据 放到系统里面 就能找到解决办法 放到系统里面 就能找到解决办法
solution:n.解决方案;溶液;溶解;解答;
So online dating is the second most popular way that people now meet each other, but as it turns out, algorithms have been around for thousands of years in almost every culture. 婚恋网 现在已经成为大家 互相认识的 第二大途径 不过 网站的运算规则 在几千年前 就可以找到
have been around:见识(很)多;世故(很)深;遍布全球;世故深;遍布各地;
In fact, in Judaism , there were matchmakers a long time ago, and though they didn't have an explicit algorithm per se , they definitely were running through formulas in their heads, like, is the girl going to like the boy? 例如犹太族 从很早以前就有媒人 例如犹太族 从很早以前就有媒人 虽然他们没有 列出公式 但在脑子里 一定琢磨过这些问题 比如 女孩会喜欢男孩吗？
Judaism:n.犹太教;(总称)犹太人;犹太主义; matchmakers:n.媒人;安排比赛的人;火柴制造者; explicit:adj.明确的;清楚的;直率的;详述的; per se:adv.本身;本质上; definitely:adv.清楚地,当然;明确地,肯定地;
Are the families going to get along? 两家人能处得来吗？
What's the rabbi going to say? 拉比(犹太教教师或法学导师)会怎么说？
rabbi:n.拉比(犹太人的学者);法师;犹太教律法专家;先生;
Are they going to start having children right away ? 他们会不会马上生孩子？
right away:立刻;
And the matchmaker would sort of think through all of this, put two people together, and that would be the end of it. 媒人们会 先想好这些问题 再把两个人凑到一起 就完事了
think through:彻底地想清楚;
So in my case, I thought, well, will data and an algorithm lead me to my Prince Charming ? 而我呢 我想 能不能通过数据和公式 帮我找到白马王子？
Prince Charming:n.白马王子;(女子的)梦中情人;
So I decided to sign on. 我决定注册
Now, there was one small catch. 这里还有一个小插曲
As I'm signing on to the various dating websites, as it happens, I was really, really busy. 我开设了几个婚恋网帐户 碰巧那段时间特别 特别忙
But that actually wasn't the biggest problem. 不过那还不是 最大的问题
The biggest problem is that I hate filling out questionnaires of any kind, and I certainly don't like questionnaires that are like Cosmo quizzes . 最大的 问题是 我讨厌填 问答表 尤其不喜欢 时尚杂志小编爱问的题目 尤其不喜欢 时尚杂志小编爱问的题目
questionnaires:n.问卷,调查表(questionnaire的复数形式); quizzes:n.小测验(quiz复数形式);智力比赛;v.测验;盘问(quiz的第三人称单数形式);
So I just copied and pasted from my résumé . 所以我直接把简历 复制粘贴上去
pasted:adj.膏的(胶的;浆糊的); résumé:n.(法)简历;
(Laughter) （笑声）
So in the descriptive part up top, 上面 描述部分
descriptive:adj.描写的,叙述的;描写性的;
I said that I was an award-winning journalist and a future thinker. 我说我是 获奖记者 和未来思考者
award-winning:adj.应获奖的;优等的;备受赞誉的; journalist:n.新闻工作者;报人;记日志者;
When I was asked about fun activities and my ideal date, I said monetization and fluency in Japanese. 让我描述兴趣爱好和理想人选 我填了 赚钱 和日语流利
monetization:n.[金融]货币化;定为货币;货币铸造; fluency:n.流畅,流利;
I talked a lot about JavaScript. 还写了很多关于 网页编码的内容
So obviously this was not the best way to put my most sexy foot forward. 这一步 走得确实不太优雅 这一步 走得确实不太优雅
But the real failure was that there were plenty of men for me to date. 最根本的问题是 还是有很多男士 和我约会
These algorithms had a sea full of men that wanted to take me out on lots of dates -- what turned out to be truly awful dates. 配对公式 为我找到一大批男士 他们不断约我－－ 可结果却特别糟糕
There was this guy Steve, the I.T. guy. 其中有一位 叫史蒂夫的技术男
The algorithm matched us up because we share a love of gadgets , we share a love of math and data and '80s music, and so I agreed to go out with him. 配对公式 发现我们都对小玩意着迷 配对公式 发现我们都对小玩意着迷 我们是数学迷 数据迷 还是80年代歌迷 我同意见他
gadgets:n.小配件;小工具(gadget的复数);
So Steve the I.T. guy invited me out to one of Philadelphia's white-table-cloth, extremely expensive restaurants. 然后这位技术男 带我到 费城一家 特别高消费的西餐厅 费城一家 特别高消费的西餐厅
extremely:adv.非常,极其;极端地;
And we went in, and right off the bat , our conversation really wasn't taking flight, but he was ordering a lot of food. 刚到 我们就发现 谈得 不太有意思 但他 点了很多吃的
right off the bat:立刻,立即;马上;
In fact, he didn't even bother looking at the menu. 他餐牌都 不用看
bother:v.烦扰,打扰;使…不安;操心,麻烦;n.麻烦;烦恼;
He was ordering multiple appetizers , multiple entrées, for me as well, and suddenly there are piles and piles of food on our table, also lots and lots of bottles of wine. 就点了几份 开胃菜 几份主食 还帮我点了 忽然间 桌上堆满了大盘小盘吃的 还有 很多很多瓶酒
multiple:adj.数量多的;多种多样的;n.倍数; appetizers:n.开胃菜;头盘餐前小品;头盘(appetizer的复数); piles:n.痔疮;痔;
So we're nearing the end of our conversation and the end of dinner, and I've decided 在我们 谈得差不多 晚餐也 接近尾声的时候
nearing:v.(时间或空间上)接近,靠近,临近;(near的现在分词)
Steve the I.T. guy and I are really just not meant for each other, but we'll part ways as friends, when he gets up to go to the bathroom, and in the meantime the bill comes to our table. 我确信和技术男 并非天生一对 但再见 还可以是朋友 他去趟 洗手间 帐单也来了
And listen, I'm a modern woman. 看 我是现代女性
I am totally down with splitting the bill. 平分帐单完全没问题
But then Steve the I.T. guy didn't come back. (Gasping) 但 技术男却没回来（倒吸气）
And that was my entire month's rent. 而那是我 整整一个月的房租
So needless to say , I was not having a good night. 不用说 我那天晚上很不好受
So needless to say:所以不用说;
So I run home, I call my mother, I call my sister, and as I do, at the end of each one of these terrible, terrible dates, 跑回家之后 我打电话找妈妈 找姐姐 每一次经历这些 糟糕至极的约会之后 我都会 打给她们
I regale them with the details. 我披露 每一个细节
regale:v.(以故事或笑话)极力取悦;n.山珍海味;盛宴;("regalia"的词形变化)
And they say to me, "Stop complaining ." 之后 她们对我说 “别抱怨了”
complaining:adj.抱怨的;v.抱怨;控诉;(complain的现在分词)
(Laughter) （笑声）
'"You're just being too picky." “你就是太挑”
So I said, fine, from here on out 我说 好吧 那以后
I'm only going on dates where I know that there's wi-fi , and I'm bringing my laptop . 我只去 有无线网络的地方约会 要带上 手提电脑
wi-fi:abbr.无线保真技术(wirelessfidelity);无线上网技术; laptop:n.便携式电脑;笔记本电脑;
I'm going to shove it into my bag, and I'm going to have this email template , and I'm going to fill it out and collect information on all these different data points during the date to prove to everybody that empirically , these dates really are terrible. (Laughter) 把它 塞到袋子里 然后做一个 邮件模版 把收集到的信息 填进去 一边约会 一边填 用客观事实 向大家证实 这些约会 究竟有多糟糕 （笑声）
shove:v.猛推;乱挤;推撞;乱放;n.猛推; template:n.模板,样板; empirically:adv.以经验为主地;
So I started tracking things like really stupid, awkward , sexual remarks; bad vocabulary; the number of times a man forced me to high-five him. 我开始 记录那些 无聊又尴尬的 性暗示语言 不适当的用词 还有对方 逼我与他击掌的次数
tracking:n.追踪,跟踪;v.跟踪;(track的现在分词) awkward:adj.尴尬的;笨拙的;棘手的;不合适的; sexual:adj.性的;性别的;有性的; high-five:举手击掌
(Laughter) （笑声）
So I started to crunch some numbers, and that allowed me to make some correlations . 然后我开始 统计这些数据 并且找到 一些关联
crunch:n.咬碎,咬碎声; vt.压碎; vi.嘎吱作响地咀嚼; correlations:n.统计,[数]相关(correlation复数形式);相互关系;
So as it turns out, for some reason, men who drink Scotch reference kinky sex immediately. 我发现 不知为什么 喝苏格兰威士忌的男性 立马联想到 性怪癖
Scotch:vi.弄伤;制止转动;扑灭;镇压;n.刻痕; reference:n.参考,提及;参考书目;证明书;v.引用; kinky:adj.奇形怪状的,怪癖的;稍微变态的;扭结的,古怪的;
(Laughter) （笑声）
Well, it turns out that these probably weren't bad guys. 当然 不是说 他们不好
There were just bad for me. 只是 不适合我
And as it happens, the algorithms that were setting us up, they weren't bad either. 同样 把我们凑到一起的 配对公式 也不差
These algorithms were doing exactly what they were designed to do, which was to take our user-generated information, and match it up with other people's information. 它们按预先设计好的 正常运行 它们按预先设计好的 正常运行 它们按预先设计好的 正常运行 再和其他人的信息 配对
See, the real problem here is that, while the algorithms work just fine, you and I don't, when confronted with blank windows where we're supposed to input our information online. 可见 真正的问题是 虽然公式会按部就班 我们却没有 当我们面对 空白栏 填写 个人信息的地方
confronted:v.使…无法回避;降临于;处理;面对;对抗;(confront的过去分词和过去式) supposed:adj.误信的;所谓的;v.认为;假设;设想;(suppose的过去分词和过去式) input:n.投入; v.把(数据等)输入计算机;
Very few of us have the ability to be totally and brutally honest with ourselves. 没有多少人 可以赤裸裸地 描述完全真实的自己
brutally:adv.残忍地;野蛮地;兽性地;
The other problem is that these websites are asking us questions like, are you a dog person or a cat person? 另一个问题是 网站总爱问 你喜欢猫还是喜欢狗？
Do you like horror films or romance films? 爱看惊悚片还是爱情片？之类的问题
horror:n.恐惧;厌恶;震惊;对某事物的强烈畏惧(或憎恨); romance:n.爱情;恋爱;风流韵事;传奇故事;
I'm not looking for a pen pal . 我又不是来找笔友
pen pal:笔友
I'm looking for a husband. Right? 我在找丈夫 对吧？
So there's a certain amount of superficiality in that data. 而这些数据 比较肤浅
superficiality:n.浅薄,肤浅;表面性的事物;
So I said fine, I've got a new plan. 所以 我有个新计划
I'm going to keep using these online dating sites , but I'm going to treat them as databases, and rather than waiting for an algorithm to set me up, 继续上 婚恋网 但只把它们当作 资料库 而不是继续 被动地等公式配对
sites:n.网站(site的复数);遗址,举办地点;v.使...位于(site的单三形式); treat:v.治疗;处理;招待;款待;n.款待;乐事;乐趣;
I think I'm going to try reverse-engineering this entire system. 我要把整个系统反过来 重新定义
reverse-engineering:逆向工程;
So knowing that there was superficial data that was being used to match me up with other people, 既然公式配对 用的是肤浅信息 既然公式配对 用的是肤浅信息
I decided instead to ask my own questions. 我决定 自己问问题
What was every single possible thing that I could think of that I was looking for in a mate ? 我要找的 另一半 需要具备 哪些条件呢？
mate:n.助手,大副; v.使配对;
So I started writing and writing and writing, and at the end, I had amassed 72 different data points. 我开始写 不停地写 到最后 我积攒了72个数据点 到最后 我积攒了72个数据点
amassed:vt.积聚,积累;
I wanted somebody was Jew...ish, so I was looking for somebody who had the same background and thoughts on our culture, but wasn't going to force me to go to shul every Friday and Saturday. 我想找 犹太人 找一个与我有 共同文化背景和观点的人 找一个与我有 共同文化背景和观点的人 但他又不会 强迫我 每周五六去 犹太集会
I wanted somebody who worked hard, because work for me is extremely important, but not too hard. 我想找一个 勤奋的人 因为我觉得 工作特别重要 但不能 工作狂
For me, the hobbies that I have are really just new work projects that I've launched . 对我来说 我的兴趣 无非是我的 一些新项目
launched:v.发射;发起;开展;开始;(launch的过去式和过去分词)
I also wanted somebody who not only wanted two children, but was going to have the same attitude toward parenting that I do, so somebody who was going to be totally okay 我还想找一个 打算生两个小孩 而且在育儿方面和我 观点一致的人 也就是说 他完全不介意
attitude:n.态度;看法;意见;姿势;
with forcing our child to start taking piano lessons at age three, and also maybe computer science classes if we could wrangle it. 要孩子三岁学钢琴 可能还外加一些 电脑课 如果 条件允许的话
computer science:n.计算机科学; wrangle:n.争论;吵嘴;vi.争论;争吵;vt.争论;争吵;辩驳;
So things like that, but I also wanted somebody who would go to far-flung , exotic places, like Petra, Jordan. 除此之外 我还想找一个 愿意 远足异乡的人 一起去 约旦的彼得拉
far-flung:adj.遥远的;广泛的;广布的; exotic:adj.异国的;外来的;异国情调的;
I also wanted somebody who would weigh 20 pounds more than me at all times, regardless of what I weighed. 还有 我希望他 比我重20磅 不论时间 也不论我当时 体重是多少
regardless:adj.不管的; v.不顾后果地;
(Laughter) （笑声）
So I now have these 72 different data points, which, to be fair, is a lot. 有了这 72个数据点 说实话 还真不少了
So what I did was, I went through and I prioritized that list. 接下来着 我整理出 优先次序
prioritized:v.优先化(prioritize的过去分词);
I broke it into a top tier and a second tier of points, and I ranked everything starting at 100 and going all the way down to 91, and listing things like I was looking for somebody who was really smart, who would challenge and stimulate me, and balancing that with a second tier and a second set of points. 分两层 排列这些数据点 然后从100 排到91？ 写的有 我希望找一个 很聪明的人 一个可以给我带来 挑战和刺激的人 然后在第二层 放上 另外一组数据点
tier:n.层,排;行,列;等级;vt.使层叠;vi.成递升徘列; stimulate:v.刺激;激发;促进;激励;
These things were also important to me but not necessarily deal-breakers. 这些对我 同样重要 但不是 必不可少
necessarily:adv.必要地;必定地,必然地;
So once I had all this done, 列表完毕 之后
I then built a scoring system, because what I wanted to do was to sort of mathematically calculate whether or not I thought the guy that I found online would be a match with me. 我开始 建立计分系统 我想尝试 借助数学计算出 我想尝试 借助数学计算出 我和网站人选 是否匹配 我和网站人选 是否匹配
mathematically:adv.算术地,数学上地; whether or not:是否…;
I figured there would be a minimum of 700 points before I would agree to email somebody or respond to an email message. 我想 对方至少要达到700分 才给他 发电子邮件 或者 回信
minimum:n.最低限度;最小值;最少量;极小量;adj.最低的;最小的;最低限度的; respond:vi.回答;作出反应;承担责任;n.应答;唱和;
For 900 points, I'd agree to go out on a date, and I wouldn't even consider any kind of relationship before somebody had crossed the 1,500 point threshold . 达到900分 才答应约会 我不会轻易 投入感情 除非对方 超过1500分才可以考虑
threshold:n.入口;门槛;开始;极限;临界值;
Well, as it turns out, this worked pretty well. 这个方法 还挺有效的
So I go back online now. 我回到 婚恋网
I found Jewishdoc57 who's incredibly good-looking , incredibly well-spoken , he had hiked Mt. Fuji, he had walked along the Great Wall. 发现了 Jewishdoc57 他出奇地帅 而且谈吐出众 曾经登上 富士山 徒步长城
incredibly:adv.难以置信地;非常地; good-looking:adj.好看的;美貌的; well-spoken:adj.善于辞令的;说话文雅的; hiked:vi.远足;徒步旅行;上升;vt.提高;拉起;使…高涨;n.远足;徒步旅行;涨价;
He likes to travel as long as it doesn't involve a cruise ship. 而且他喜欢旅行 只要没有游船就好
as long as:conj.只要;长达;如果;既然; involve:v.包含;需要;牵涉;牵连;影响;(使)参加; cruise:v.巡航;乘船游览;慢速行驶,巡行;猎艳;n.航行;乘船游览;
And I thought, I've done it! 我想 我成功了！
I've cracked the code. 编码已被破解
cracked:adj.疯狂;破裂的;有裂纹的;v.破裂;裂开;断裂;(crack的过去分词和过去式)
I have just found the Jewish Prince Charming of my family's dreams. 我终于发现了 犹太白马王子 正如 家人所愿
There was only one problem: 问题 只有一个
He didn't like me back. 他 并不喜欢我
And I guess the one variable that I haven't considered is the competition . 看来有一个变数 我还没考虑 那就是 竞争对手
competition:n.竞争;比赛,竞赛;
Who are all of the other women on these dating sites? 社交网站 都有哪些 其他的女性？ 社交网站 都有哪些 其他的女性？
I found SmileyGirl1978. 我发现了 SmileyGirl1978
She said she was a "fun girl who is Happy and Outgoing." 她说她是 快乐、活泼、有趣的女孩
She listed her job as teacher. 她填写的职业是 教师
She said she is "silly, nice and friendly." 她说她 很傻 很友善“
She likes to make people laugh "alot." “常常”爱逗大家笑
At this moment I knew, clicking after profile after profile after profile that looked like this, that I needed to do some market research . 就在那一刻 在点击完一个又一个 类似的个人档案之后 我知道还需要 市场调研
profile:n.轮廓;简介;形象;外形;v.扼要介绍;概述;写简介; market research:n.市场调研;市场调查;
So I created 10 fake male profiles . 接着我建立了 10个虚拟的 男士档案
fake:n.假货;骗子;假动作;v.捏造;假装…的样子;adj.伪造的; profiles:n.配置文件; v.扼要描述;
Now, before I lose all of you -- 在人都 走光之前
(Laughter) -- understand that I did this strictly to gather data about everybody else in the system. （笑声）- 我想请大家 谅解我的初衷 仅仅是 收集数据 去了解系统内的 其他人
I didn't carry on crazy Catfish-style relationships with anybody. 我并没有 借此进行任何不道德的交流
I really was just scraping their data. 确实只是 收集数据
scraping:n.刮屑;削片;v.刮掉;削去;刮坏;(scrape的现在分词)
But I didn't want everybody's data. 还不是 所有人的数据
I only wanted data on the women who were going to be attracted to the type of man that I really, really wanted to marry. (Laughter) 仅限女性 那些 我的理想伴侣 可能会喜欢的女性（笑声） 我的理想伴侣 可能会喜欢的女性（笑声）
When I released these men into the wild, 我把虚拟男士 放出来之后
released:v.释放;使免除;已发布;(release的过去分词和过去式)
I did follow some rules. 还遵守了 一些规矩
So I didn't reach out to any woman first. 首先我没有 主动联系女性
I just waited to see who these profiles were going to attract, and mainly what I was looking at was two different data sets. 只等着看 能吸引到谁 主要关注点 有两方面
mainly:adv.大多;大部分;主要地;首要地;
So I was looking at qualitative data, so what was the humor , the tone , the voice, the communication style that these women shared in common? 首先是 定性数据 比如 幽默感 语调 声音 沟通方式 这些女性 的共通点是什么？
qualitative:adj.定性的;质的,性质上的; humor:n.幽默;心情;情绪;脾气;v.迎合;迁就; tone:n.语气:风格:特色:声音信号:v.使更结实:与…协调:
And also quantitative data, so what was the average length of their profile, how much time was spent between messages? 还有 定量数据 比如 个人档案的平均长度 两次通信之间 隔多久
quantitative:adj.定量的;量的,数量的;
What I was trying to get at here was that I figured in person, 我想证明的是 如果有机会 面对面交流
I would be just as competitive as a SmileyGirl1978. 我的竞争力 不比SmileyGirl1978差
competitive:adj.竞争的;比赛的;求胜心切的;
I wanted to figure out how to maximize my own profile online. 所以 我想知道怎么调整 网上档案 才能最好地 呈现自己
maximize:vt.取…最大值;对…极为重视;vi.尽可能广义地解释;达到最大值;
Well, one month later, 一个月 之后
I had a lot of data, and I was able to do another analysis . 我收集了大量数据 足够再分析一回
analysis:n.分析;分解;验定;
And as it turns out, content matters a lot. 结果发现 内容很重要
content:n.内容,目录;满足;容量;adj.满意的;vt.使满足;
So smart people tend to write a lot -- 3,000, 4,000, 5,000 words about themselves, which may all be very, very interesting. 聪明的人 往往写很多 — — 3、4千 甚至5千字 自我介绍 也许真的 非常非常有意思
The challenge here, though, is that the popular men and women are sticking to 97 words on average that are written very, very well, even though it may not seem like it all the time. 但 很难匹敌 但 很难匹敌 精选的97个字 精选的97个字 虽然我们不一定 感觉得到
The other sort of hallmark of the people who do this well is that they're using non-specific language. 高手们的另外一个杀手锏 是不特定语言
hallmark:n.特点;品质证明;vt.给…盖上品质证明印记;使具有…标志; non-specific:adj.不明确的;非确切的;
So in my case, you know, "The English Patient " is my most favorite movie ever, but it doesn't work to use that in a profile, because that's a superficial data point, and somebody may disagree with me and decide they don't want to go out with me because they didn't like sitting through the three-hour movie. 以我为例 你看 英国病人 是我 最喜欢的电影 但它不适合 放在个人档案里面 因为这是一个 肤浅的数据点 有人可能 会有不同意见 并且 决定不和我约会 仅仅因为他们不愿意 花三个小时看一场电影
Patient:adj.有耐心的,能容忍的;n.病人;患者; three-hour:n.[美国俚语,青少年用语]厌倦,难以忍受;
Also, optimistic language matters a lot. 还有 积极正面的语言很重要
optimistic:adj.乐观的;乐观主义的;
So this is a word cloud highlighting the most popular words that were used by the most popular women, words like "fun" and "girl" and "love." 看这些关键词 里面是 最常用的词语 最受欢迎女性 都在用 比如 有趣 “女孩” 还有 “爱”
highlighting:n.增强亮度;突出性,醒目性;v.使…显著;以强光照射(highlight的ing形式);
And what I realized was not that I had to dumb down my own profile. 后来 我意识到 没必要写一个 低智商简介
dumb:adj.哑的,无说话能力的;不说话的,无声音的;
Remember, I'm somebody who said that I speak fluent Japanese and I know JavaScript and I was okay with that. 还记得吗 我说 我能讲流利的日语 并且熟悉网页编码 这些都 没问题
fluent:adj.流畅的,流利的;液态的;畅流的;
The difference is that it's about being more approachable and helping people understand the best way to reach out to you. 重点是 怎么写 让自己显得更亲切 让别人知道 怎么采取主动 让别人知道 怎么采取主动
approachable:adj.亲切的;可接近的;
And as it turns out, timing is also really, really important. 除此之外 时机也非常重要
Just because you have access to somebody's mobile phone number or their instant message account and it's 2 o'clock in the morning and you happen to be awake, doesn't mean that that's a good time to communicate with those people. 当我们拿到 别人的 手机号码 或者 聊天帐号 碰巧凌晨2点还没睡 也许不是 联系他们的好时机
mobile phone:移动电话 instant:n.瞬间; adj.立即的; conj.同"assoonas";
The popular women on these online sites spend an average of 23 hours in between each communication. 最受欢迎的女性 一般会等 23小时 再进行 下一次沟通
And that's what we would normally do in the usual process of courtship . 这也是我们 约会时的常规 这也是我们 约会时的常规
normally:adv.正常地;通常地,一般地; process:v.处理;加工;列队行进;n.过程,进行;方法,adj.经过特殊加工(或处理)的; courtship:n.求爱;求婚;求爱期;
And finally , there were the photos. 最后 轮到照片了
finally:adv.终于;最终;(用于列举)最后;彻底地;
All of the women who were popular showed some skin. 所有 受欢迎女性 都会 露一些
They all looked really great, which turned out to be in sharp contrast to what I had uploaded . 她们 看起来很棒 形成 鲜明对比的 是我当时 上传的照片
sharp:锋利的,尖的 contrast:n.对比;对照;反差;明显的差异;v.对比;对照;形成对比; uploaded:vt.上传;
Once I had all of this information, 掌握了 这些信息之后
I was able to create a super profile, so it was still me, but it was me optimized now for this ecosystem . 我建立了一个 超级档案 我 还是我 只是 在这个生态系统当中 更优化的我
optimized:adj.最佳化的;尽量充分利用; ecosystem:n.生态系统;
And as it turns out, I did a really good job. 事实证明 我做得很不错
I was the most popular person online. 成了婚恋网 最受欢迎的人
(Laughter) （笑声）
(Applause) （掌声）
And as it turns out, lots and lots of men wanted to date me. 后来 特别特别多男人想和我约会
So I call my mom, I call my sister, I call my grandmother. 我又打电话给 妈妈 姐姐 和姥姥
I'm telling them about this fabulous news, and they say, "This is wonderful! 告诉她们 这个好消息 她们说 真棒 ！“
fabulous:adj.难以置信的;传说的,寓言中的;极好的;
How soon are you going out?" “什么时候开始约会呀？
And I said, "Well, actually, I'm not going to go out with anybody." 然后我说 嗯 我不会跟任何一个约会的
Because remember, in my scoring system, they have to reach a minimum threshold of 700 points, and none of them have done that. 因为 记得吧 要在计分系统 至少达到700分才行 这些男士们 都还不够
They said, "What? You're still being too damn picky." 她们就说 什么？你还是太挑剔了
damn:v.谴责;该死;n.诅咒;adj.可恶的;
Well, not too long after that, 然后 没过多久
I found this guy, Thevenin, and he said that he was culturally Jewish, he said that his job was an arctic baby seal hunter, which I thought was very clever. 我发现这个人 戴文宁（Thevenin） 他说他 接受犹太风俗 还说他的工作是 猎捕北极小海豹 我觉得 这个说法很有意思
culturally:adv.从文化角度,文化意义上;在人文学方面; arctic:adj.北极的;北极地区的;极冷的;严寒的;n.北极;北极地区;
He talked in detail about travel. 他详谈了很多 关于旅行的事
He made a lot of really interesting cultural references . 引用了各种 有趣的文化
references:n.提到; v.查阅; (reference的第三人称单数和复数)
He looked and talked exactly like what I wanted, and immediately, he scored 850 points. 他外表和谈吐 都是我想要的 当场就 拿下850分
It was enough for a date. 够约会了
Three weeks later, we met up in person for what turned out to be a 14-hour-long conversation that went from coffee shop to restaurant to another coffee shop to another restaurant, 三个星期之后 我们见面 谈了足足 14小时 从咖啡店 到餐厅 到另一家咖啡厅 再到下一家餐厅
coffee shop:na.咖啡店;(一般的)小餐馆;
and when he dropped me back off at my house that night 那天晚上 他送我回家之后
I re-scored him -- 我重新评估
[1,050 points!] -- thought, you know what, this entire time I haven't been picky enough. [1,050分!]-- 看来 我一直还 不够挑剔
Well, a year and a half after that, we were non-cruise ship traveling through Petra, Jordan, when he got down on his knee and proposed . 一年半之后 我们去旅游 当然没有坐游船 在约旦的 佩特拉 他单膝下跪 求婚
proposed:adj.建议的;推荐的;v.提议;建议;计划;求婚;(propose的过去分词和过去式)
A year after that, we were married, and about a year and a half after that, our daughter, 一年之后 我们结婚 又过了一年半 我们的女儿
Petra, was born. 佩特拉 出生了
(Applause) （掌声）
Obviously, I'm having a fabulous life, so -- 可以看到 我很享受这段精彩人生 不过
(Laughter) -- the question is, what does all of this mean for you? （笑声）- 问题是 这一切对你有什么意义？
Well, as it turns out, there is an algorithm for love. 事实可以证明 爱有计算规则
It's just not the ones that we're being presented with online. 但不是我们 在网上看到的那些
In fact, it's something that you write yourself. 而是 你自己写出来的
So whether you're looking for a husband or a wife or you're trying to find your passion or you're trying to start a business, all you have to really do is figure out your own framework and play by your own rules, and feel free to be as picky as you want. 所以无论你要 寻觅另一半 还是 找回激情 又或者 要创业 只需要 真真切切地 找出自己的框架 按自己的规则 进行发挥 爱多挑剔 就多挑剔
passion:n.激情;热情;酷爱;盛怒;
Well, on my wedding day, 最后 在我的婚礼上
I had a conversation again with my grandmother, and she said, "All right, maybe I was wrong. 我和姥姥 又谈了一回 她说 好吧 也许是我错了“
It looks like you did come up with a really, really great system. “看来 你确实做了” “一个 很棒很厉害的系统“
come up with:提出;想出;赶上;
Now, your matzoh balls. “可是 你的玛索球”
matzoh:(犹太人在逾越节时吃的)无酵饼;
They should be fluffy , not hard." “该松软些 不能太硬了”
fluffy:adj.蓬松的;松软的;毛茸茸的;无内容的;
And I'll take her advice on that. 这个意见 我赞成
(Applause) （掌声）